Monthly Archives: September 2011

“Taking Her Myself” A New Trend in Quiverfull Courtship/Betrothal

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Post by Vyckie Garrison of No Longer Quivering.

“Does God Hate Women?” author, Ophelia Benson recently shared a note which was posted on Reddit written by a young patriarch describing his “biblical marriage.”

As Bible-believing Baptists who hold to reformed theology, X and I believe that God is sovereign in choosing who will or will not believe in him, having chosen his people before the foundation of the world (see Ephesians 1), and that his selection is unbreakable and irresistible. If marriage is to mirror this principle, we believe that a woman has no right to select a husband for herself, but that she is to be chosen by a man and marriage is to be an unbreakable arrangement between the man and her father. Based on this reasoning, we have shunned a standard proposal and wedding ceremony, because if I had asked her to marry me (which I did not) then I would have given her the decision to marry me rather than selecting her and taking her myself. Furthermore, if we had exchanged conventional marriage vows, our union would have been based on X’s will and consent, which are not Biblical factors for marriage or salvation. Instead, I asked X’s father for his blessing in taking her hand in marriage. When he gave his blessing, X and I considered ourselves to be unbreakably betrothed in the sight of God. While we had initially intended to consummate our marriage after today’s symbolic ceremony, we instead did so secretly after private scripture reading, prayer, and mutual foot-washing.

PZ Meyers commented on Pharyngula, “It made my skin crawl.”  Yeah – mine too.

As Quiverfull Believers dig ever-deeper into their Bibles in search of the truly “biblical model” for godly marriage, ideas about courtship and “betrothal” are becoming increasingly savage and brutish.  It would seem unlikely that Courtship standards could get even more oppressive considering that Christian notions of “biblical match-making” have already been taken to outrageous extremes.

Josh Harris started a back-to-bible-living revolution among Christian young people when he advocated the courtship model in his book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. What – no dating for teens? Now that’s a radical concept! As “bible believers” jumped on the bandwagon of father-led pairing of qualified young men and women in serious pursuit of marriage, popular Quiverfull patriarchs took biblical courtship to a new level of paternal domination as they pointed to Old Testament examples of “betrothal” as the very best way to ensure the future success of Christian marriage.

Jonathan Lindvall, teaching “God’s Design for Youthful Romance,” cited the betrothal of Matthew and Maranatha Chapman as an ideal example of a “true romantic betrothal.”  Lindvall describes the crazy-making process by which Maranatha’s father, Stan Owen, orchestrated a year-long betrothal which was to be a “demonstration of Christ’s coming for His bride” based on the parable of the Ten Virgins.

Mr. Owen still faithfully directed both Matthew and Maranatha to avoid physical affection until their wedding. He particularly cautioned them to guard against impatience. Especially since Maranatha was rather young, their wedding might be quite a long way off yet. Though they hoped that the time would be soon, they nevertheless resigned themselves to the real possibility that the wedding could be a matter of years down the road, much like Jacob’s seven year betrothal to Rachel (Gen. 29:18-20). Yet they were both naturally quite motivated and energetically prepared in every way they could, as quickly as they could, just in case the wedding should suddenly be announced.

Not to be outdone in the “biblical examples of courtship and marriage” department, Michael Pearl counseled his daughter, Shoshanna, to forego a state-issued marriage license:

None of my daughters or their husbands asked the state of Tennessee for permission to marry. They did not yoke themselves to government. It was a personal, private covenant, binding them together forever—until death. So when the sodomites have come to share in the state marriage licenses, which will eventually be the law, James and Shoshanna will not be in league with those perverts. And, while I am on the subject, there will come a time when faithful Christians will either revoke their state marriage licenses and establish an exclusively one man-one woman covenant of marriage, or, they will forfeit the sanctity of their covenant by being unequally yoked together with perverts. The sooner there is such a movement, the sooner we will have a voice in government. Some of you attorneys and statesmen reading this should get together and come up with an approach that will have credibility and help to impact the political process.

Yeah … that’s “bible-believing” extremism for you – and it’s not enough to practice these ideals for themselves and their children, “biblical family values” must become the law of the land.

As a former Quiverfull believer, I used to get excited at the prospect of searching the Word and discovering greater “truths” and biblical principles – the implementation of which would bring my family increasingly closer to a truly God-honoring model of marriage and Christian home life.  At the same time, I secretly dreaded what the Lord might reveal to me next through Lindvall’s Bold Christian Living, Pearl’s No Greater Joy, and other “biblical family living” ministries.  Already I was obediently and faithfully having baby after baby to the obvious detriment of my health, submitting to my abusive husband, homeschooling, homebirthing, home churching, foregoing all government assistance including potentially life-saving health insurance and food stamps, cutting off all outside relationships with family and friends who were not like-minded Quiverfull Believers …. honestly, the regimentation and isolation made for a harsh and demanding life.

“What’s next?” I frequently wondered to myself … ‘cuz my practice of Quiverfull was not “peculiar” enough already, I guess.

I am so grateful that I got out before I had a chance to “discover” the biblical principle of a man selecting and taking a wife for himself.  I am afraid, since the idea comes straight from scripture, I very well may have gone along with my daughters’ father coming to an “unbreakable arrangement” for a “godly” young man to “take them” in marriage.

Ugh.  It is a trap – a life-sucking quagmire – to attempt to order one’s family life according to a worldview which teaches that whatever is in the bible is necessarily “biblical” and normative for all times and all cultures.  I dread the thought that today’s Quiverfull daughters are now being taught that a young Christian woman “has no right to select a husband for herself, but that she is to be chosen by a man” and given no decision in the covenant agreement between her father and the man who will be taking her.

The Reason Behind Christian Children’s Ministries

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Vacation Bible School

Junior Church

Sunday School

Youth Camp

Youth Group

Nursery

AWANA

CEF Backyard Bible Club

Harmless, right?

Many parents view children’s ministries as a baby-sitting service. Given a choice, Mom and Dad would rather pass  their rambunctious toddler off to  a children’s ministry  than put up with their child’s  restlessness during church.

Many parents do not realize that most children’s ministries have an unstated purpose, to lead young children to saving faith in Jesus Christ. According to Art Murphy, a Baptist pastor who spent many years as a children’s pastor, if children are not saved when they are young it is  likely they will not be saved at all.

In a Baptist Life article, Murphy had this to say:

Ninety percent of conversions (from those who are not Christians and then become Christians) occur by the age of 24, Art Murphy told around 50 children’s ministry leaders on May 21 Fifty percent of these conversions happen before the person is 12 years old!

“That means there is only about six years that this will happen, and it happens in one’s childhood,” he stressed. Murphy went on to say that statistics indicate that most conversions (16.7 percent) occur at the age of 12 than any other age.

Make no mistake about it…..if you take your children to a Christian church that believes in personal salvation, your children are a prime target for evangelization. Christian children’s ministry leaders know that if they don’t reach the children when they are young it is likely they will never reach them at all.

Imagine, atheist Jon and Mary, letting their young children stay the weekend at Grandma’s house. Grandma is a devout Evangelical and she plans to take the children to church with her. No big deal, right?

When Grandma brings the kids home she is beaming. Little Susie has some good news to share with Mommy and Daddy. Little Susie runs into the house and lets everyone know that she “asked Jesus into her heart” during the children’s church altar call. (never mind the fact that asking Jesus into your heart is not taught in the Bible) Not so harmless is it?

I am of the opinion that children are better served if they do not attend church at all, but if they MUST attend church, they should sit with their parents and not be permitted to attend any of the “ministries” mentioned above.

Children are very impressionable. They can be easily manipulated and led astray. (by  a child molester or well-meaning Sunday School teacher alike) Since choosing to be a follower of Jesus Christ is a life-changing decision, a decision that requires careful study and consideration, young children should NEVER be evangelized. I seriously doubt a person can clearly understand the implications and responsibilities of being a follower of Jesus until they are high school age.

Will children be harmed if they aren’t allowed to go to children’s church or perhaps not allowed to go to church at all? Of course not. The biggest influence in a child’s life is their parents and extended family. Do you want your children to be moral and ethical? Then live a moral and ethical life and teach your children to do likewise. The church is not the final arbiter of all things moral. (contrary to what they tell you)

Every parent should want their children to make responsible decisions. Why is it some parents treat religion so lightly, as if it will have no effect on their children’s lives? No person should make a decision to follow Jesus until they have carefully weighed ALL the evidence. Since a child can not rationally and thoughtfully weigh the evidence for or against Christianity they should NEVER be encouraged to “ask Jesus into their heart.”

Children’s ministries use superficial, pat answers to teach children the Bible. Faith and believe are emphasized. Questions and doubts are discouraged, and in some cases demonized. Doubt is of the devil. (Perfect peace have those whose mind is focused on God)  The troubling passages in the Bible are ignored or explained away.  Few children ever learn that David, a man after God’s own heart, was also a philanderer, adulterer, and murderer. Few children ever learn what happened to the REST of the poor people in Daniel’s lion den. The story of Noah and ark is taught without ever mentioning that God drowned millions of men, women, children, and unborn babies.

Is church “good” for a child? Maybe, but the dangers of manipulation and abuse are real and parents should carefully consider whether it is a good idea for their child to attend church. If the parents think it is OK they should then make sure the child is with them at all times. Ignore the well-intentioned people who want to liberate you from your child, promising you peace and quiet while you listen to the sermon. Better to put up with Johnny’s restlessness than allow someone to mentally manipulate them. (and this can happen at every age level)

I Can’t Imagine Anyone Not Believing in God

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A  recent blog contact email had this to say:

I will pray for you. I just can not imagine anyone not believing in God.

My immediate reaction was to hit reply and type:

I will not pray for you. I just can not imagine anyone believing in God.

I didn’t send the email. After all, the Bible says, don’t cast your pearls before swine.

While the person mentioned above cannot fathom anyone NOT believing in God, I can most certainly fathom people believing in God.

Belief in a deity gives the majority of humans hope and peace. Believing in a deity answers the BIG questions of life; questions about purpose, meaning, and eternity.

Beliefs don’t have to be true to be helpful.  This is hard for rationalists to understand. To the rationalist it is all about reason and evidence. People who believe in a deity drive rationalists crazy because they believe in things that are beyond reason and evidence.

As an atheist, I know that I will always hold to a minority viewpoint. Anyone who thinks there is going to be a  world-changing atheist revival is naïve. Do I think atheism is making significant inroads across the world? Absolutely. Atheism is growing at a time when many religious denominations are declining in numbers and influence.  If nominal, I go to church on Sunday, indifferent believers in a deity, are factored in, the number of people having little or no interest in a deity is staggering. However, make no mistake about it, the religions of the world have great power and they have no plans of letting go of that power any time soon.

Some non-theists think that as science continues to march forward that eventually belief in a deity will die a slow, whimpering death.  They think we will reach a point where belief in a deity will be so discredited that only the mentally unstable will believe in a deity. Again, I think this is a naïve view.

In the United States most people believe God created the world. Millions of Americans believe the Christian God created the universe 6-10,000 years ago. The majority of Americans say they  believe in the Christian God and they believe the Bible is true.  Churches are everywhere. There are about 1,600 of Christian TV and radio stations in the United States blaring out their message 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Anyone who wants a Christian Bible has one. Many people have more than one. (even through they rarely read it) Religion is on display EVERYWHERE. (claims of persecution are laughable)

The most hated people in America? Probably Al Qaida terrorists. Next? Atheists. An atheist has little to no chance of being elected to a major political office. (even though I think there are more than a few secret atheists in Washington DC)

That’s why people can send me emails that say:

I just can not imagine anyone not believing in God.

Most Christians do not actually know an atheist, and even if do they know an atheist, they likely have never talked to them.  Christians are convinced that atheism is an empty belief, a belief that leads to debauchery and wickedness of the vilest kind. Never mind the fact that MOST of the people in prison today profess faith in the Christian God.

I didn’t respond to the blog contact email because I knew it was a waste of time. (like casting pearls before swine) Many Christians have a closed mind about anything outside of their narrow, defined belief system. They know what they know, end of story.  Their Bible tells them “the fool says in his heart there is no God.” They see little, if any, difference between an atheist and Satan.  They are convinced that atheists are the enemy of God out to destroy Christianity. (no need to destroy it. Christians are doing fine all by themselves)

I want to challenge Christians to make an honest attempt to get to know an atheist. I said an HONEST attempt.  Don’t be like the deceiving liars that that stop by this blog who feign friendship. They don’t want friendship. Their true intention is to evangelize or practice their apologetical skills.  Atheists rightly find great offense with such feigned attempts at friendship.

The atheist is quite content to live and let live. He is quite willing to let you go to heaven if you will let him go to a mythical hell. Can you do that my Christian friend? Can you embrace the common humanity you have?

Sadly, most Christians I know cannot embrace the atheist as a fellow traveler on the road of life. As long as the atheist remains in unbelief, they must be prayed for and every attempt must be made to evangelize them. (imagine the big eternal reward a Christian will get for winning a preacher-turned atheist back to Jesus) Never mind that the atheist has said numerous times PLEASE stop praying for me (or at least telling him about it) and PLEASE stop trying to evangelize me. The Christian appeals to a higher power, a higher authority so the requests of the atheist fall on deaf ears.

It should come as no surprise that most atheists do not have many Christian friends. It simply doesn’t work. Who wants to be friends with people who always have an ulterior motive for what they do? Who wants to be friends with people who only see you as a prospect for heaven?

I have very few Christian friends. It is the way it must be. The few Christians I have treat me with respect and focus on the other things we have in common.  They don’t evangelize me and I don’t lecture them on why they should become an atheist.  We eat together and enjoy one another’s company. I am sure my Christian friends would love for me to return to the Christian faith BUT they know they have no power to affect such a change. They know my decision to become an atheist was a difficult decision, a decision that cost me countless life-long friends and connections. They know the pain and agony my decision brought into my life and they certainly know quoting a Bible verse or suggesting I read a book will not make any difference.

I am an atheist because I chose to be one, the same way I became a Christian 40 years ago. Such a choice demands respect. Those who refuse to respect my choice are not worthy of my friendship.  Harsh? Sure, but life is too short to spend much time trying to preserve relationships that are not genuine.

How to Start a Non-Chartered Christian School in Ohio

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Here is what you need to do to start a Christian school in Ohio.

  • Start a church
  • Start a Christian school as a ministry, an extension, of the church

That’s it.

I kid you not, that is it.

No rules, no regulations. No curriculum requirements. No teacher requirements. No notification requirements.

The Ohio homeschooling rules are more extensive than the rules for a non-chartered religious school.

Does this mean all non-chartered Christian schools are educationally deficient? Of course not, BUT many are.

Many Ohio non-chartered Christian schools are owned and operated by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist(IFB) churches. The schools are viewed as an oasis away from the world, from the evil influences of humanists, secularists, atheists, socialists,Catholics,Southern Baptists, and communists.

By the way, the first step,start a church? Starting a church  is as easy as saying “we are a church” and you are the pastor. According to state and federal law, a church is tax exempt because it is a church. Many people wrongly assume a church must file for 501c3 status to be tax exempt. 501c3 status is NOT required for tax exemption. It does confer a few extra benefits, like being allowed to send mail as a non-profit, but it is not needed for a church to be tax exempt.

One Million Moms Consider Boycotting Schweddy Balls

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One Million Moms, the spastic right arm of the American Family Association, is offended that Ben and Jerry’s named one of their limited batch ice creams Schweddy Balls.

One Million Moms had this to say:

Ben & Jerry’s announced their newest ice cream flavor which sounds anything but appealing. Schweddy Balls is the best they could come up with. The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive. Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket.

The name originated from a Saturday Night Live skit featuring Alec Baldwin as Pete Schweddy, owner of a holiday bakery called Season’s Eatings. “There are lots of great treats this time of year,” Schweddy says. “Zucchini bread, fruitcake, but the thing I most like to bring out at this time of the year are my balls.”

He then explains that he sells popcorn balls, cheese balls, rum balls—balls for every taste—and the ball puns proceed for about four minutes. Ben & Jerry’s chose to go with fudge-covered rum and malt balls for their flavor. The skit culminates in Baldwin stating that “No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.”

In the past, Ben & Jerry’s has released controversial ice creams, like a special edition of Chubby Hubby called Hubby Hubby last year which celebrated gay marriage. It seems that offending customers has become an annual tradition for Ben & Jerry’s.

The ice cream is being released in a limited batch, which means it will be distributed nationwide but only for three or four months. If it proves popular, another batch might be forthcoming, but we hope not.

“The name is irreverent,” says Ben & Jerry’s spokesman Sean Greenwood. “But we’ve always been about having some irreverence and having some fun … We’re not trying to offend people. Our fans get the humor.”

Several readers have asked me if One Million Moms is a parody site like The Onion. I wish that was the case but One Million Moms is indeed a real, live group of women who seem to be overtly preoccupied with sex, male genitals, and homosexuality.

My Life with Bill Gothard Part Two

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This entry is part 2 of 3 in the seriesBill Gothard

A guest post series written by Anonymous

My parents really are nice people. After hearing some of the personal stories of some of my Gothard and Fundamentalist friends and watching families closely, all-in-all I feel pretty lucky. There was never any indication my parents were total mental nut cases, just two people trying way too hard. If their goal was to get a little further from the emotional and spiritual dysfunctions and effects of alcoholism or to give their children good memories, the ability to think reasonably and logically with compassionate hearts, they somehow succeeded in spite of Gothard’s dogma and the pressure placed on those who accept his self-proclaimed utopia. One interesting facet of this is they tried so hard and burdened us with so many rules and regulations and a mindset void of balanced thought, I think I could have easily become an alcoholic as I sorted through the pain and the brainwash. It’s been a long time coming, but I feel I’ve finally learned it’s okay to be a normal, run-of-the-mill person with hopes, dreams, strengths & weaknesses, failures, successes and a ‘sin nature’ who enjoys a balanced, pleasurable (gasp!) life. As I read the comments from my last post, I realized that only those who have experienced the effects of Gothard and Fundamentalism completely understand the difference between the issues we deal with that may have some similarity to common bumps in the road of life. Fundamentalists and Gothardites also deal with a huge GOD factor and resulting doctrines and beliefs which place fear at the forefront of every decision-fear of being wrong, of doing evil, of simply looking evil (which has numerous definitions in that world). If you think emotional blackmail in human relationships is cruel, try worshipping a god who utilizes it hypothetically himself and actually through your parents and environment.

I was in 2nd – grade when my parents decided to home educate us. My dad told me and my sister together and my sister or I asked if that meant our mom would buy red pencils. When I told my activity table in Sunday school one of my friends commented, “Cool! Does that mean you get to raise your hand and go to the bathroom anytime you want?” If only our experience were that simple. The thoughts of children- so guileless and unaffected; why would a parent ever accept the idea their child needs to be anything other? Life hits hard & head-on as it is and usually too early. Why not let kids be kids while adding layers of kindness, hope, courage, simplicity, strength, love, acceptance, logic and tolerance so that when the realities of life can no longer be ignored and tenacity must be forged in its fires, those nurtured qualities come alive & hold them even when mommy and daddy are no longer present? But allowing kids to be kids doesn’t work out well when you’re trying to raise an army. I must have been 7 or 8 when I told my aunt she would go to hell for wearing pants. If you think it’s evil the words ever left my lips, imagine being a child and already thinking those horrible thoughts about people you loved, triggered by a mere article of clothing. Yes, this was my mind, my world at a young age. My parents, prime candidates for Gothard’s inclusive teachings, started with his Basic Seminar (more later) and led to utilizing his home education program, Advanced Training Institute International.

Different than Bible-BASED home education curriculum, ATI is Bible-CENTERED (Bible being the textbook). If you understand the mindset of a family who would be attracted to ATI, this distinction is essential – Bible-based isn’t good enough if Bible-centered is available. J Wisdom Booklets, based on a specific verse or passage of Scripture (Wisdom Booklet #1 beginning with The Sermon on the Mount), are provided linking Science, Math, Social Studies and Character Studies to the passage in some way. Fortunately, my parents supplemented the Wisdom Booklets with other curricula so that my siblings and I all graduated with the state required courses completed, therefore acquiring a better education than many die-hard ATI’ers. I have known personally some who brushed-off all other avenues of learning and education and focused only on their Biblically-based studies. I’ve overheard many ATI mothers and fathers voice their (non)education goals and dreams for their children. I know one girl whose father finally relented, allowing her to attend a local, forward-thinking, private, very high-quality institution with the understanding she attend classes without gaining credit. What a loss. This may not seem so strange if you realize the objective of ATI is to raise children who are virtually untouched by the ‘world’, its ideas, processes and practices. This mentality disparages traditional education of any kind. Liberal-arts, secular and even Fundamentalist Christian colleges (BJU, PCC, CCC, etc.) are not entertained as options for post-secondary education. Criticism from the outside and the ‘harsh’ expectations of existence (I say that tongue-in-cheek), led Gothard to establish Telos International which does provide some basic coursework for secondary education as prep for their Programs of Study. One glance at those websites will give you a good overview of the absurdity that is ATI. Fortunately or unfortunately (it could go either way), I convinced my parents God had called me to a Fundamentalist college, an experience I was mentally, socially, spiritually and emotionally unprepared for.

While in ATI, my family started every weekday morning with a Wisdom Search , a family Bible-study digging deeper into the ‘truths’ of the Wisdom Booklet we were studying. Most mornings Every morning, all I wanted to do was a grab a red pencil and commence voracious eye stabbing. My siblings probably would have too had they not been more lethargic than I some days. ATI parents believe they are doing ‘good’; they are giving their children a gift, a better way, a better life than the hopeless and meaningless existence they perceive surrounds them. I don’t know why neither one of my parents, both formally educated individuals, did not clue-in one of those sleepy mornings-my dad droning on while our heads bobbed listlessly, contributing occasionally to the conversation attempting to convince them we were awake and attentive during those few seconds we nodded off into leftover dreams-IT WASN’T WORKING. Those few seconds seemed like hours. Those days, years. Those years seem like centuries ago. And I’ve only just begun.

I am Afraid I will Become an Atheist

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You want out. You know the religious community you are in is not good for you. You know that your pastor thinks he speaks for God and you have come to see the arrogance of such a claim.  Your gut is screaming to you RUN, but you are afraid.

If you are wrong, you fear God will chastise you for your rebellion.

If you are wrong, you fear losing your family and friends.

As many do, you search the internet for answers. Perhaps, a Google search has brought you to this blog. Much of what I write resonates with you. You find yourself nodding and saying amen.

But…….

I am an atheist.  Atheists are routinely despised in America. You fear that if you truly embrace what your heart/mind is telling you, you might become an atheist. This scares the shit out you.

I wish I had comforting words to share with you, but I don’t.  This blog does not exist for the purpose of converting Christians to atheists. I have no interest in being an evangelist for atheism. I am far more interested in helping those who have been hurt by religion, people who want a way out but can’t seem to find it.

My journey has brought me from Fundamentalism/Evangelicalism through liberal Christianity and agnosticism to atheism.  Each and every step of the journey was/is difficult. Atheism is where I finally found the peace and purpose I was looking for. Your journey may not be the same.

I want to encourage you to continue to walk forward. Listen and read. Investigate. Challenge. When you come to what seems to be a resting place ask yourself, why am I stopping here? Can I live with where I am? Do I have peace?

Many have run from fundamentalism only to find themselves tangled up in a kinder form of fundamentalism.  They  rightly abandoned the cultural fundamentalism of their previous church only to find themselves ensnared by the same theological fundamentalism in an Evangelical church.

Some people find rest and peace in liberal Christianity. Others find that liberal Christianity is just a temporary stop along the slippery slope of reason.

Many people, unwilling to abandon spirituality altogether, embrace groups like Unitarian Universalists or one of  the many “spiritual” religions of the world.

Some, like me, keep on traveling until they come to embrace agnosticism or atheism. They have let reason guide them every step of the way. Are they more enlightened than others are? No.

While I have no need for a god or a religion, I recognize that many people do.  In their darkest moments many people need a god to cling to, a god that gives them hope. I do not consider such people ignorant or foolish. If that is what gets them through the night who am I to object. As long as their religion is kept within the walls of their home or assembly house they will get no argument from me.  (although I recognize  the fact that most religions seem to have a lust for political power and cultural control and MUST be resisted at every turn)

Every one of us are on a journey through life. We know where we have been, we know where we are,  but we do not know where we will end up. If you had told me 10 years ago that I would not be a pastor, and that I would be an atheist, I would have laughed uncontrollably at such a foolish notion. But, here I am.

I do think that religious fundamentalism is an evil in our world that we should work very hard to irradiate eradicate. It is alarming that Christian fundamentalists like Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, and Michele Bachmann can be considered viable candidates for President. It is in everyone’s best interest to neuter religious fundamentalism wherever it is found. When fundamentalists gain political power liberties are lost and people die.

This blog is a bright light along the journey of life. It says to Christian fundamentalists and Evangelicals that there is deliverance from the bondage they are in. You need not fear becoming an atheist. No one will try to convert you. You WILL be challenged and encouraged to exercise reason as you continue your journey. Read, study, and ask questions.  Don’t be afraid to go off the beaten path. Sometimes, in an out-of-the-way place, you will find what you are looking for.

Here is the gist of what I am saying in this post. I don’t care one bit whether or not you become an atheist. I want to help facilitate your journey. I want to encourage you to walk openly, with honesty and integrity. Remember the old church song, Where He leads I will follow?  Instead of God leading the way, let reason and evidence lead the way. Be willing to investigate and challenge everything you say you believe.

Yes, you MIGHT end up an atheist, and if you do, I will gladly welcome you to the club of the damned. However, maybe you will stop somewhere else on the road of life, and as long as you have walked openly, with honesty and integrity, I will say good for you.

One Million Moms and their Campaign Against Sex Toys

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News release from One Million Moms (broken link):

There is a problem when websites for drug stores start looking like adult fantasy stores instead of a place for medical needs. We are highly concerned when adult toys are being sold online in the least likely places. Online filters may not catch this, and children are stumbling onto these sites by accident.

One of our supporters reported that her child found this on Rite Aid’s website. After checking around, our research proved Rite Aid is not the only offender. Walgreens and CVS (not nearly the quantity as the other two) are also at fault. When is it ok to sell v*br*tors, d*ld*s and other s*x toys on a drug store’s website? (An asterisk ‘*’ is used to ensure our emails get through to those who have signed up for our alerts. Otherwise specific words referenced would be blocked by some internet filters.)

At these sites, there is not a warning of any kind. These websites have online shopping available, and under “Sexual Wellness” or “Sexual Well-Being” there are pages of adult toys offered on the Rite Aid and Walgreens sites. CVS had one, and you have to type in the search box to find it.

Talk about puritanical. They won’t even spell out the words vibrators,dildos, or other sex toys for fear internet filters will block their email. (and I am not opposed to filters. we have one on our home network)

Let me ask a basic question here about the kid in the news release. Why was the child on the Rite Aid website? Show me a kid that surfs the web to find drugstore websites. Trust me, looking at drugstore websites is not a favorite pastime for young people.

If One Million Moms thinks the drugstore websites are bad , they might want to check out Amazon.com Now there’s a selection of sex toys. Not that I would know.

One Million Moms also objects to the sex toys being in the sexual wellness or sexual well-being section. Evidently, they seem to miss the fact that sex toys can be very helpful in keeping everyone involved sexually well. I wonder if the real issue is that One Million Moms are against masturbation, and since sex toys can be used for sexual self-gratification, they consider the use of them a sin.

Perhaps they might want to consider boycotting CHRISTIAN companies that sell sex toys.

NPR article on The Joy of Christian Sex Toys
Christian Nymphos
Book 22
My Beloveds Garden

Putting Out a Fleece

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And Gideon said unto God, If thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said, Behold, I will put a fleece of wool in the floor; and if the dew be on the fleece only, and it be dry upon all the earth beside, then shall I know that thou wilt save Israel by mine hand, as thou hast said. And it was so: for he rose up early on the morrow, and thrust the fleece together, and wringed the dew out of the fleece, a bowl full of water. And Gideon said unto God, Let not thine anger be hot against me, and I will speak but this once: let me prove, I pray thee, but this once with the fleece; let it now be dry only upon the fleece, and upon all the ground let there be dew. And God did so that night: for it was dry upon the fleece only, and there was dew on all the ground. (Judges 6:36-40)

Let me give you a bit of context.  The Israelites, those oft sinning followers of Jehovah, disobeyed Jehovah and he punished them severely for their sin:

And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD: and the LORD delivered them into the hand of Midian seven years. And the hand of Midian prevailed against Israel: and because of the Midianites the children of Israel made them the dens which are in the mountains, and caves, and strong holds. And so it was, when Israel had sown, that the Midianites came up, and the Amalekites, and the children of the east, even they came up against them; And they encamped against them, and destroyed the increase of the earth, till thou come unto Gaza, and left no sustenance for Israel, neither sheep, nor ox, nor ass. For they came up with their cattle and their tents, and they came as grasshoppers for multitude; for both they and their camels were without number: and they entered into the land to destroy it. And Israel was greatly impoverished because of the Midianites; and the children of Israel cried unto the LORD. (Judges 6:1-6)

Jehovah impoverished the Israelites because of their sin. Modern day followers of the Christian God must really be living right because they are definitely not impoverished.

For seven years, God pummeled his followers with his judgment stick. At the end of the seven years the Israelites cried out to God and God sent a prophet to Israel to ask them if they had had enough of his judgment.

After the prophet left an angel came to a Israelite named Gideon. The angel and Gideon had a conversation:

Angel: The LORD is with thee, thou mighty man of valour.

Gideon: Oh my Lord, if the LORD be with us, why then is all this befallen us? and where be all his miracles which our fathers told us of, saying, Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt? but now the LORD hath forsaken us, and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites.

Angel (or Lord): Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites: have not I sent thee?

Gideon: Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? behold, my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.

Angel (or Lord): And the LORD said unto him, Surely I will be with thee, and thou shalt smite the Midianites as one man.

Gideon: If now I have found grace in thy sight, then shew me a sign that thou talkest with me.

God obliged Gideon with a sign and Gideon went forth to be a messenger for God….for awhile.

It seems that Gideon’s skeptical side kept getting in the way. Gideon wanted to make sure it really was God speaking to him. (too bad most preachers aren’t as skeptical as Gideon) So Gideon asked God to prove to him he really was God. (notice God never verbally replied)

Gideon put a fleece of wool on the floor. He said if the fleece was wet in the morning and it had not rained (or dew covered the ground) outside he would believe what God had said.

Sure enough, the fleece was wet in the morning. Did Gideon believe God then? Nope. Skeptical Gideon asked for more evidence.

Gideon reversed the fleece experiment.  He said if the fleece was dry in the morning and there was dew on the ground outside he would believe what God had said.

Sure enough, the fleece was wet in the morning.

God is quite capricious isn’t he? God is overtly tolerant with Gideon. God allowed to Gideon to test him multiple times. (read Judges 7 to see more of Gideon’s God tests) Evidently Gideon had a faith that required authentication.  Too bad, God didn’t grant people like Uzzah the same space. Poor Uzzah just steadied a wobbling ark and God killed him.

And they set the ark of God upon a new cart, and brought it out of the house of Abinadab that was in Gibeah: and Uzzah and Ahio, the sons of Abinadab, drave the new cart…..And when they came to Nachon’s threshingfloor, Uzzah put forth his hand to the ark of God, and took hold of it; for the oxen shook it. And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Uzzah; and God smote him there for his error; and there he died by the ark of God.
(2 Samuel 6:3-7)

Evidently God has given using Uzzah like tactics.  Any causal perusal of modern Christianity reveals all sorts of sins against the thrice Holy God, yet God does nothing. If God would just whack a few big-name, big-sinning preachers maybe some of us atheists would think twice about saying Christianity is a false, empty-of-truth, religion.

In the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) movement I grew up in putting out the fleece was a common practice. Putting out a fleece was a way of “testing” God or finding out the “will of God.”

Like casting lots and drawing straws, Christians use putting out a fleece as a way to make decisions. Years ago, when I was first married, I was looking for a job, so I applied for a restaurant management job with a restaurant company in Findlay, Ohio. They told me they they had interest in me working for them and they would get back with me with their final decision. At the time, we were living in NW Ohio. We were thinking about moving to Newark, Ohio, a city in Central Ohio.  What should we do?  Restaurant manager or move to Newark?

So, I put out a fleece. I prayed, “God if you want me to take the restaurant manager  job then have the company call me by ____________. If they don’t call I will take that as a NO from you.”

The call didn’t come, so we packed everything and moved to Newark. The funny thing? The restaurant company called a day or two AFTER the fleece deadline and offered me a good-paying job. I stood by what I had divined through putting out the fleece.

Silly, I know.

Many times, Christians use this kind of thinking without even recognizing it. Such and such will happen in their life and they take that as “proof” that God is moving and working in their life.  I have heard countless prayers where a person said “I was praying for _________________ and sure enough God came though. What an awesome God we serve!”

Never mind that there are multiple explanations for _________________. Even when unexplainable things happen why is it assumed that it is God doing it? Unexplained things are just that, unexplained.

The sad things many Christians wait for God to work, move, come though, or bless them. As a result they are robbed of the ability to make decisions on their own. Unless they can “sense” God they refuse to make a decision. (unless the house is burning down, then the best of Christians run for the hose) Or they make horrible decisions all because they had a feeling they call “God.”

Reason, common sense, advice from others, are usually sufficient for making decisions. Sometimes, when quick decisions are made you have to “go with your gut.”  Going with your gut is not the same as going with God. (article on Psychology Today about this subject)

How about you? Do you have any “putting out a fleece” stories to share?

Why I Don’t Argue or Debate Christians, Most of the Time

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I was a Independent Baptist Fundamentalist for a good part of the 25 years I spent in the ministry. I was a fire-breathing, devil chasing, sin hating, preacher who wasn’t afraid to wage Holy War against anyone who compromised the truth of the Bible. Over time I started to love the war just for the sake of the war. I loved mixing it up, arguing and debating about anything and everything pertaining to the faith once delivered to the saints.

These days I don’t relish the fight. For one thing I am older and I am also disabled. I only have a short window every day where I can do my best work. In a matter of hours my strength is zapped and my day is over. I retreat to the recliner and the remote and hope there is a ballgame on one of the 150 channels I get.

My iPad is close by so I can check my email from time to time and I can read the 200 plus blogs I subscribe to. Even the physical strength necessary to read email and blogs is lacking some days. Over the past weekend I accumulated well over a thousand unread blog posts. I skimmed the Friends folder and marked as read the other 900 or so blog posts. I missed out on the latest information about this or that but I was/am too worn out to care.

Earlier today I allowed myself to be drawn into a Facebook discussion on Romans 9. Romans 9 was the topic but atheism and my ignorance became the focus of the discussion.

When I find myself in those kind of discussions my gut tells me STOP.   F-o-r-g-e-t about it. Who gives a shit? As I told my friend Vyckie, there still lurks deep in my being that old fundy preacher that likes to argue and debate. I keep spraying him with weed killer but he keeps coming back.

Here is the truth of the matter for atheists. Arguing and debating with Christians (of any flavor) is like pissing into a 30 mph wind. Go ahead and try it and see how it works out.

I know some well-known atheists like to debate Christians. they like going toe-to-toe with the great Christian apologists. Not me. It all seems like noise these days. Blah-blah-blah. No one is ever converted, no one changes their mind. Everyone leaves the debate hall the same way they came in.

The Christian and the atheist have two completely incompatible worldviews. I have nothing in common with a Christian except our shared humanity, and even with that Christians and atheists disagree as to the nature of our shared humanity.

The Christian believes that the Christian God is the true and living God. The Christian believes the Bible is truth. The Christian embraces beliefs that are irrational and can only be believed by faith. (i.e. resurrection from the dead, virgin birth)

I reject all of these beliefs. I am a card-carrying member of the no-god Party, a party that the Christian Bible calls fools.

Some Christians try to move the debate/argument away from the Bible. They want to argue/debate philosophical issues. These kind of interactions are even worse.  They never end. Most of the time is spent defining the rules and then telling the other person they violated them.  I know philosophy is important, however I just don’t think it is a good subject for debate. (at least for me)

This blog is not a debate/argument blog. I have never been interested in having tit-for-tat discussions with Christians. Such discussions are a waste of time and energy and usually just irritate the hell out of me. I am far more interested in helping readers who have been abused and hurt by Christianity. I am interested in helping people make the transition from Christian to non-believer. If I can lend a helping hand or give voice to the struggles they are having I am quite happy.