Warning! Adult language. Do not read if you are easily offended. (stop scrolling so fast it is not that racy)
Female, Male, Hermaphrodite
Homosexual,Heterosexual, Bisexual, Asexual
Masturbation, Anal sex, Oral Sex
Marriage,Same Sex Marriage, Divorce, Living Together, Hooking Up, Friends with Benefits
Age of Consent, Marriageable Age, Birth Control, Abortion
These are but a few terms and issues associated with discussions about gender, sex, and sexuality.
When these things are discussed, debated, and argued about each of us bring our own baggage to the discussion. Our religious, political, cultural beliefs and experiences often color our ability to have a rational discussion about these things. The things we have experienced in the past and the things people close to us have experienced often affects how we view issues like gender, sex, and sexuality.
These issues are hot-button issues and, far too often, discussions about them quickly devolve into posturing, drawing lines, and name calling.
Words like misogynist, sexist, homophobic, womanizer, abuser, user, and pervert are bandied about carelessly with little or no regard to the harm these words can cause. Granted, there are times that these labels are warranted, but sometimes we are too quick to attach derogatory labels to people without trying to understand where they are coming from.
Take Prostitution. I support the legalization of prostitution. What two (or more) consenting adults do sexually to or with each other is of no concern to me. I support health and licensing requirements but beyond that I consider prostitution to be a victimless crime.
When I write about my view on prostitution, I am often told that I am supporting the objectification of women and that I am supporting actions that demean and debase women.
No, what I am supporting is the right for adults to sexually do what they want without the religious beliefs or social conventions of others getting in the way. Often objectification is in the eye of the beholder. For example, many employers objectify their employees, treating them as a means to an end.
Take the issue of marriage. Again, I am indifferent to many of the objections people have when it comes to marriage. I am of the opinion that people should be treated equally under the law and matters beyond that are not anyone’s business.
Marriage is a contract and every party is free to determine the terms of the contract. Is it wrong for a married man to have sex outside of marriage? It depends on the terms of the contract he has with his wife. I know of several marriages where the woman is quite happy if the man has a mistress or frequents prostitutes.They have no interest in sex and their reasons for marrying were financial stability and companionship.
We need to remember that gender, sex, and sexuality are complex issues, complicated by the baggage we bring to the discussion. If we remember this, hopefully we will not be so quick to lambast those who have a different view than we do. We must also make sure we do not confuse a differing view on sex and sexuality with a person’s morality. My support of prostitution does not mean I use the services of a prostitute. It does mean, I make no moral judgment about people who do, and I most certainly do not make any moral judgment about a man or woman who decides to earn a living providing sexual services.
We all need to carefully think about these issues. Sadly, too many people let the TV do their thinking for them. Again, take prostitution. Most people have never sought out the services of a prostitute and most people don’t know anyone who is a prostitute. Unless they carefully think about and research this issue they will likely have a distorted view.
How does TV portray prostitution? Either they show the prostitute as a drop-dead gorgeous woman making 5,000 a night or a teeth falling out meth head who will screw anyone for 20 bucks. While both of these portrayals are true, they are the exception to the rule. Contrary to how the TV portrays them, most prostitutes do not have a black pimp with a gold tooth that beats them for not turning enough tricks. Does this happen? Yes, and it is regrettable, but we must not assume this is how it is for all prostitutes. (especially in countries and localities where prostitution is legalized)
The truth is most people become prostitutes for the money. In many ways we all are prostitutes. We go to work every day…why? For the money. Like with most things in life, it is all about the money.
I look forward to your comments.