The Stupid Church Sign of the Week Award goes to St John’s Christian Church, Archbold, Ohio, also known as the church on the corner whose cornerstone is Christ. (formerly a United Church of Christ affiliated church)
One of my spies sent me a text detailing the latest bit of brilliant prose on St John’s church sign:
The Tomb is Empty so You don’t Have to Be
The thinking here is that anyone who does not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is empty. Non-Christians are empty people living meaningless lives, with a God-shaped vacuüm in their lives. True love, true peace, and true purpose in life begins, continues, and ends with Jesus.
And Christians wonder why non-Christians, atheists in particular, are hostile towards them.
Easter is coming soon. I am sure there will be plenty more stupid signs like the one above.
And the thing is, while these folks think it is so clever, they do not even get how insulting this is!
Correct. I would love to know how many people churches “reach” with their signs. At least be honest with the signs. Single minded Bigotry Taught Inside, or White, Republican, and Heterosexual, Welcome!!
Or maybe, Come to Our Church and Lose Your Identity or We are the Borg You will be Assimilated. 
or Our Pastor’s Sermons Suck but the Fellowships are Great or Don’t Worry we Will Protect your Kids.
Yipes!
The Borg sign seems appropriate.
“He is risen!”
“He is risen indeed!”
Bwahahahahaha! I guess so we can arise to? Screw Viagra! Jesus makes me rise to the occasion!
I’m an advertising major…as far as slogans go, the empty tomb one isn’t bad. I don’t agree with it, of course, but can’t knock the creator.
(the creator of the sign, not the universe)
“Our Pastor’s Sermons Suck but the Fellowships are Great!”
ROTFLMFAO!!!! Hahahahahahahahaaaa!!
Funny, but far too often true.
A church near us recently featured a sign that said:
Pray
God is Listening
I felt that some punctuation could have clarified that a bit.
Perhaps you could gift them with a copy of “Eats, Shoots & Leaves.” In christian love, of course.
Now that right there is funny!!!
Indeed.
I was feeling pretty empty this morning so when I read this stupid church sign it did change my life. I made a sammich and I ate it and I am no longer empty. Praise!
I found (third-hand) one that’s even worse. Right now, there’s a thread at atheist.com discussing this literary beauty:
“The Devil may be pulling the trigger, but God is calling the shots.”
Yep, I always thought the devil was just god’s hired hitman, but I didn’t think the fundies would so readily admit it. (Of course, I guess that’s only because they never bothered to think through what they’re actually saying.)
Yep. According to Job, Satan can’t do anything God doesn’t permit him to do. So, it really is ALL God’s fault.