I Did it For Jesus: My Life of Self-Denial

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Welcome to Gerencser Hillbilly Haven, Circa 1990. Our son Jaime is six, wearing Goodwill clothes and 10.00 shoes from Odd Lots. Polly is using her outside dryer. In the winter, she hung the wet clothes on a line in the living room over the wood/coal stove.

I spent the first fifty years of my life in the Christian church. Baptized as an Episcopalian, and later making a public profession of faith in a Baptist church at the age of fifteen, I had been a part of the Christian church most of my life. I preached my first sermon at the age of fifteen, attended a Fundamentalist Baptist college as a young man, and pastored churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan.

I never went through the angst that many people go through when determining what to do with their life. At the age of five, I told my mother that I wanted to be a preacher when I grew up. From the age of fifteen to the age of fifty, I was a preacher of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I had no doubt that God had called me to preach the unsearchable riches of Christ to sinners.

I am an all in kind of guy. I have little tolerance for doing things half way. When Jesus called to me and told me to leave my proverbial nets, I did so immediately.  I was a devoted, committed, sold-out follower of Jesus Christ. My passion was for God, his church, and the Word of God. For twenty-five years, my life was consumed by the ministry and the work I believed God had called me to do.

Up until I started blogging in 2007, no one had ever doubted that I was saved, that I was a devoted, committed follower of Jesus. A year or so ago, a person who years ago knew me quite well, was shocked when she heard that I was no longer a pastor and that I was now an atheist. She said, Butch (my family nickname) was the real deal. It is important to understand this point. NO ONE…out of the thousands of people I came in contact with,  ever expressed doubt about my salvation. Not one teacher, not one deacon, not one evangelist, not one church member, not one fellow pastor, ever expressed doubt that I was a Christian or that I was a God-called preacher.

Those who now contend I never was a Christian or that I was a false teacher make their judgment based, not on the evidence of the life I lived, but their peculiar interpretation of the Bible.  For the Baptists, Calvinists, and many Evangelicals, the only way to square my life with their theology is for them to say I never was a Christian or that I still am a Christian, just backslid. Arminians have less of a problem explaining my life. While they are “troubled” by my apostasy, they recognize that I was a Christian, I fell from grace, and I am now no longer a Christian.

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Our son Nathan, age ten. Car in lot is early 1980′s Oldsmobile diesel. (converted gas motor)

I realize that I am a rare bird. While there are many men who leave the ministry, few leave it like I did so late in life. Many of the noted preacher-turned-atheists, apostatized and left the ministry in their twenties and thirties. I left at the age of fifty. This does not make me special in any way, but it does make me an exception to the rule. And this is why Christian people have a hard time understanding how it is possible for a man to be a Christian for most of his life and to pastor churches for twenty-five years, to then just walk away from it all and renounce Jesus.

Those who know me personally have a difficult time wrapping their mind around Pastor Bruce being an atheist. To quote Nicodemus in John 3, how can these things be? But, whether they can understand it or not, here I am. I once was a Christian, I once was a man of God, and now I am not.

My life was motivated by the following verses:

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me, For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. (Matthew 16:24,25)

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1,2)

For though I preach the gospel, I have nothing to glory of: for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel! (1 Corinthians 9:16)

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. (1 John 2:15,16)

For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that. (James 4:14,15)

These verses, along with my commitment to follow every command in the Bible, led me to a life of self-denial and economic simplicity. While most people around me were focused on earning a living, providing for their family, and accumulating material goods, I was focused on making just enough money to keep a roof over my family’s head. I took seriously the command to “learn in whatever state I am to be content.” I practiced a Baptist version of voluntary poverty, and as the head of the home, I led my family to do the same.  I figured that whatever  money and material goods we had was what God wanted us to have. To desire, require, or want more was a sure sign that I was in love with the things of the world.

Over the course of twenty-five years in the ministry, my family and I were economically at or below the poverty line. For many years we drove junk cars and for five years our family of eight lived in a three bedroom 12’x60’ mobile home. I paid $2,800.00 for the mobile home and parked it next to the church. It was a ratty, old mobile home that I had to do extensive work to so we could live in it. As I look back on it now, I see this mobile home as a snapshot of my/our life of self-denial.

Somewhere in the late 1990’s, I woke up one day, looked around, and realized that our family was the only one living this way. Everyone else, pastor friends included, were busy building their kingdom on this earth. Their focus was on their job, career, home, land, education, and retirement. My focus was on living a voluntary life of self-denial so that I might preach the gospel. I saw myself as following in the steps of Jesus and Paul. Why wasn’t anyone else living this way?

I still think my interpretation of the Bible was essentially correct. It wasn’t that I took Christianity too seriously…it was that most everyone else didn’t take it seriously enough. After all, did Jesus not say:

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? (Matthew 6:24, 25)

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:  for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (Matthew 6:19,20)

My heart was squarely focused on Jesus.  I treasured the Word of God and preaching the gospel.  I saw the world neatly divided into saved and lost. As a saved man, one who believed in a literal hell, how could I idly sit by while knowing most people did not know the saving grace of Jesus Christ? I spent most of my married life hustling for Jesus. Preaching, teaching, witnessing, knocking on doors, visiting bus routes, handing out tracts, and starting churches.  Like the Apostle Paul, I believed, woe unto me if I preach not the gospel!

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Our son Jaime, age seven and our daughter Bethany, age two

I took seriously Ezekiel 3:17-19:

Son of man, I have made thee a watchman unto the house of Israel: therefore hear the word at my mouth, and give them warning from me, When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand. Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turn not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.

I believed that God would hold me accountable for every soul that went to hell because I did not witness to them. I felt I was duty bound to warn sinners of their wicked way and of the judgment to come. My preaching, methodology, and lifestyle reflected this.  Even though I was more committed than anyone else I knew, I also knew I was far from perfect, that I was far from being as committed as I could be. I pleaded with God to give me more of his power, more of his Spirit, just like he gave to great preachers like DL Moody, Hudson Taylor, David Brainerd, John Wesley, Charles Finney, Adoniram Judson,  and Charles Spurgeon.

I left the ministry in 2003 and I left Christianity in 2008. It is hard for me not to look back on my /our life of self-denial with bitter regret. Yes, I helped a lot of people and yes, in spite of our poverty, we had a good life. But, a lifetime of self-denial has put my wife and I in an economically difficult place. We are by no means poor. We have more than enough money to pay our bills and live a comfortable life. We still live simply, and outside of a 2013 Ford Fusion sitting in the driveway, our home and its furnishings are modest. When we bought our home in 2007, we bought a fixer-upper and we have been fixing it up ever since.  Our life is comfortable…dare I say blessed. But, I can’t help thinking about where we might now be if I had not been so focused on living a life of self-denial? In about six years, I will officially “retire.” I will draw a minimal social security check because I didn’t pay social security tax for most of the years I was in the ministry. I have no other retirement plan. Polly will likely have to work after she reaches retirement age. I deeply regret this, but decisions have consequences, and because I made a decision years ago to not pay social security tax and because I thought Jesus and the church would take care of me when I was old, I made no other plans for the future.  After all, I planned on dying with my boots on.

Life is one long lesson learned. How about you? Were you a devoted follower of Jesus? Did you take seriously the verses I mentioned in this post. If so, what did your life of self-denial look like? Did you do without for the sake of Jesus and the church? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.

Comments (36)

  1. Alice

    We did do without, not as much as you did, I suppose. I honestly felt like we were definitely living in the “last days” so why try to create anything for the future? It’s not too late, though, for any of us, the best is yet to come:)

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      Ah yes, last day thinking. No need to fix the leaking roof…Jesus is coming soon, maybe even today, right? Yet, here we are. :)

      Reply
  2. Daniel Wilcox

    My deepest regret is that I spent umpteen years forcing my family to focus on doctrine–most of it now I realize nothing but delusion. So much of our time was wasted with chaff:-(
    For instance, I wouldn’t let my son see a movie which Focus on the Family claimed was satanic! Later when I did watch the movie, I realized the charge was completely false. So I stole a lot of my kids’ childhood with religious lies.

    I don’t regret the money we gave to missions because most of it went to empathetic organizations like Mennonite Central Committee, which I still think does good work among the impoverished in other countries.

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      Yes, us old farts can’t do anything about the past. :) All we can do is try to make a difference in the present.

      Reply
  3. NeverAgainV

    This resonated with me Bruce ” …I woke up one day, looked around, and realized that our family was the only one living this way. Everyone else, pastor friends included, were busy building their kingdom on this earth. Their focus was on their job, career, home, land, education, and retirement. My focus was on living a voluntary life of self-denial so that I might preach the gospel. I saw myself as following in the steps of Jesus and Paul. Why wasn’t anyone else living this way?…”

    I must say that you were very sincere and willing to show it by your trying to be like your savior Bruce. The hypocrisies you mentioned, I saw that in the “true church” I had got hooked into. What was very difficult was the double standard of the burdens place on my family and I. and it was also upsetting to hear my xpastor BRAG how “financially I am WELL TAKEN CARE OF…” while many in the church struggled. So it was A-OK that HIS financial situation was good, but he did not care how his edicts destroyed my husband and I’s financial situation. It was very difficult when we finally saw the truth…that he really didn’t care about us & certainly wasn’t following in the footsteps of Jesus, or he’d try a little harder to be more like his savior. (like the verses you mentioned to take no thought for the morrow…etc.)

    Oh the wall came crumbling down, ever so slowly at first until it came crashing and there was no stopping it.

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      I knew more than a few pastors who routinely lied about the amount of money they actually made. One pastor considered his parsonage allowance free money, so when he was asked about what he made he never included the 12,000.00 a year housing allowance he received. He also never mentioned that he was drawing social security disability. There were a lot of preachers like me but there were also a lot who were getting rich off the church.

      Reply
  4. Angiep

    I can relate so well to this story. I too firmly believed the bible passages that were quoted in this post. And I strongly felt that my fellow christians weren’t committed enough. I literally lived for Jesus, and spent countless hours in church, bible study and prayer, and made a lot of sacrifices that I accepted as just part of the christian lifestyle. There was a point after years of living this way that I used to take summertime walks in my neighborhood at night, when I happened to be able to see into people’s open doorways with their lights on, and I realized that EVERYONE was living better than my family was. I had been told that we would have “abundant life,” so WTF?? I wondered why everyone else seemed to be enjoying life on this earth while we had to deny everything we wanted. Not only that, but I wasn’t very successful at trying to lead people to Jesus, and I couldn’t understand why, since I had given up so much to be a true follower! In addition, the church community was not what it was cracked up to be, to say the least. My son also had to endure a lot of deprivation during his formative years because of our beliefs, which included giving a lot of money to the church when we were living on my husband’s meager salary. I finally realized that God had let me down all the way around, and I had to face the fact that he really was never in the picture to begin with.
    Bruce, I am curious why it took you so long to decide you no longer believed the bible, when as you say, most preachers who leave their profession do so at a much younger age. Can you share your thoughts on this?

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      I was very committed to the belief that the Bible was the inspired, inerrant Word of God. Until there was a breach in this belief, there was no chance of me leaving the ministry and Christianity. While I initially left the ministry because I was tired, worn out and weary of not making any money, when I left Christianity itself it was all about the Bible. Once the Bible lost its authority, my deconversion came quickly. (as it did for Bart Ehrman and others who at one time believed in the inspiration and inerrancy of the Bible)

      Reply
  5. Aram McLean

    Ah, but you’re wrong Butch ;) you are special. Leaving when you did, indeed that is the fascinating thing. I don’t know if I ever told you this. I wrote a letter when you left blogging one time, but I don’t think I sent it. The gist of it being that you were the catalyst to my final departure from the ‘faith’ (even though I didn’t ‘believe’, but getting past my unbelief). And if my book happens to make money (a distant dream, I know), you will definitely be getting a piece of that cash-fall. Whether you like it or not :)
    You’re a good man, Bruce. And everything you ever did, was done from all that you are.
    I will always respect you. No matter what you may have done or said for many years (in the past).
    You’re the real deal.
    And that’s a fact.

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      Thank you Aram for the kind words. They mean the world to me.

      Bruce

      Reply
  6. Paula

    Yes, Bruce, your life showed that you were the real deal. No way do I think it is necessary for ministers to live in poverty, but it goes against the grain for them to be wealthy. Churches should make some provision for the retirement of pastors, and many do. These are usually associations of churches with a central retirement fund. I don’t know what the answer is for a 100% independent church if its members are poor, but it is a problem they need to work on. If you are paid starvation wages, you can’t also be responsible for your own retirement.

    (I have more respect for your willingness to be poor than I do for the Armani Ronnie types. “Ronnie” is the pastor of a three-going-on-four campus mega church in northwest Arkansas.)

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      I pastored one church for almost 12 years. The people were very poor. The highest paid man in the church made 21,000.00 a year. Our poverty “fit” well with this church. Good people who were gracious givers. This is the church that the trailer pictures come from. In the year the church exceeeded 200 in attendance, the total church income was a little over 40,000.00

      Reply
  7. Obiron

    I can identify with you, I made a lot of decisions based on ‘what the Lord would want’, only to find out after many years that they were what ministry leaders wanted. I really wish I had known better, but it can be difficult to escape our own delusions.

    When I was still a very committed Christian I noticed that I had the oldest car in the parking lot. It started to sink in that most did not take the teachings of Jesus very seriously, including the pastoral staff. It had nothing to do with me leaving the faith. I really wish I could get back the money I donated , even if I could just send it to someone who would actually use it for the poor.

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      For me, it was the time I spent, since I did without to further God’s (Bruce’s) kingdom. There were times I went several weeks without being paid so the church could pay its bills. Ironically, the most giving church I pastored was also the poorest church I pastored. They gave and gave, and, quite frankly, they shouldn’t have. If I had to do it all over again I would have been bivocational and I would have treated the church as a weekend, part time job. I sacrificed my family and my future for the sake of God and the church. I can’t fix the past but I have had opportunity to counsel young pastors about the ministry and the things I have learned. Here is a post I wrote for expastors.com http://www.expastors.com/advice-to-young-pastors/ They know I am an athesit but they still find my advice helpful.

      Reply
  8. Matt Martin

    Bruce,

    Reading this I have to say as a baptist you’d have made a great mendicant. Perhaps a Third Order Franciscan? ;)

    But seriously you’re spot on when you say:

    “I still think my interpretation of the Bible was essentially correct. It wasn’t that I took Christianity too seriously…it was that most everyone else didn’t take it seriously enough.”

    It reminds me of a comment by Sam Harris some years back about God not being a moderate.

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      Yep, I know people WANT God to a kind, gentle, loving, hey let’s be buddies, God…but there are too many verses that clearly show that their buddy has a deep, dark psychopathic side. :)

      Reply
  9. Steve

    All of this was me, my friend; I can relate. I’m so sorry for you all. As the old hymn says, “wasted years, wasted years, oh how foolish ….”

    Reply
  10. 29dinosaur

    Bruce. I’m not quite where you’re at….. I still have a ‘faith’ but it doesn’t sound like the works based faith that had been instilled in you, even though you seemingly once espoused Reformed doctrine… I’m probably closer to a Frank Schaeffer type of experience…. I’m over organised institutionalised evangelicalism… Sounds like the IFB church f***cked you up. I do have friends who live in accommodation just like in your pics now…. Calvinists. The only thing that I don’t have now is a proper retirement ‘plan’. Suicide might be easier when I get there…

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      This post focuses on the earlier years of my time in the ministry. When I left the ministry in 2003, my theology was very different. I still see works as they only objective way to determine the the character of a person. I have a great affinity for the Amish and the Mennonites.

      Reply
  11. sgl

    fodder for your intellectual grist mill:
    ———-
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/11/hindu-hanuman-statue-oklahoma_n_4428802.html

    Hindus Want Hanuman Statue On Oklahoma Capitol Steps After Satanists Seek Their Own Monument

    “A few days after a group of Satanists announced plans to donate a memorial on the grounds of the Oklahoma Capitol, a Hindu organization said it would apply for permission to erect a statue of Hanuman.

    The two groups suggested that Oklahoma legislators opened the door to such displays when they pushed through a bill in 2009 giving permission for a Ten Commandments monument to be placed on the Capitol grounds. The monument, paid for with private funds, was placed there in 2012.”

    ———-

    Reply
  12. Steve

    Yeah, I thought that Satanic monument thing was awesome; give them a dose of their own fucking medicine

    Reply
  13. DeafAtheist

    That is my life in last 11 years too. I ‘surrendered’ my college experience for God. Becoming a sold-out, full time soul winner at 18 years old. I missed out on partying, free sex, and fraternity. I went to an unaccredited bible ‘college’ (more of a bible institute). Graduated with a ThG. Become an associate pastor for $5 a hour. I worked 60 hours without a miss or vacation. I only had three days of maternity leave for each my three children. My senior pastor earned $80,000 a year and played golf twice a week. He is paid a yearly salary and I was paid hourly wages with very little vacation and sick leave. I got burned out after 11 years. I resigned and found myself outcast and shunned. My pastor who was my father figure was vicious and tried to destroy my reputation. It was a shock to see his mask off and to see a real devil inside.

    I look back at my life and lost youth with great regret. It prove that Jesus was not real. If so, he would shower me with blessings. religions are big exploiters or pyramid scammers.

    That is why I say a big FUCK YOU to god, jesus, holy shit, church, and bible. Walk away and rebuild my life again. Thank you Bruce for sharing this. It played a big part in my deconversion from Christianity. Now our family are free to pursue happiness and propensity.

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      Thank you for commenting. It is tough to realize how much time and energy you wasted in service to a mythical being and the church. As Steve said, wasted years, Oh how foolish. The path forward is to own the past and make sure the present and the future is better. And blog about it. :) (at least for me)

      Reply
  14. bill wald

    Just curious. Would you all feel better about yourselves if you had spent your lives in trying to save the spotted owl?

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      Yes I would.

      Reply
  15. Ian

    Bill, at least the spotted owl is something you can see. Who is going to collect my heavenly treasure, or Bruce’s, or Angiep’s, or my dad’s? We lost everything for those years, nothing is going to bring the money or time back.

    My dad gave up everything for the church. The year he lost the house, he still got up and publicly praised Jesus. We had to live in someone’s basement for 6 months. He never put up any money, because Jesus was coming back. He gave over 20% of his income, because you can’t outgive God and he will be debtor to no man. God must have made a mistake and put that money in someone else’s account. Since his reconversion, he realized he is responsible for himself and is working hard to make up for 40 years of lost time. He has Social Security and a tiny union pension, but nothing compared to what he should be getting. Mom hasn’t worked for 30 years, so I doubt she will be getting any social security.

    He instilled the same thing in me. I am an excellent employee, but I never had the drive for financial stability or planning for the future. Now, I am in my 40′s and I realize I have many years of future planning to make up for. I’m not mad at my dad, he was training me the best he knew how. I am upset that I lost so much time and never learned to plan ahead. I am trying to do better with my children, though.

    Like most others here, we saw that only a handful were giving up earthly treasures. Most others were prospering in their work. No one was extravagant, but they were miles ahead of us.

    My last pastor is a piece of work. He has always been in retail sales, so he has always had a pretty steady job. He makes decent money doing that, his wife works, their kids are grown, and he gets $1500 a month form the church. He loves to tell everyone that he gives money every week to the church and how everyone should give more. Maybe, if he took less, people wouldn’t have to give more. If it wasn’t for the fact that his kids have remained my good friends, I would actually tell him this.

    Rant off.

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      Rant appreciated. :)

      Reply
  16. Herman du Plessis

    Show me your god and I will follow him. Nobody has seen any god. I wasted my time for years being a christian. All religions are the same crap. The only thing I realize, is that the universe has positive and negative energy. If you radiate enough positive energy, you can heal people from sickness. The negative energy is called the devil by most religions. The positive energy is their god. Faith is positive energy or negative energy. Depends how you apply it in all situations. That is why every religion has miracles. Positive or negative faith, does not matter what religion.
    Hope it make sense.

    Reply
  17. Kimmy

    If it makes you feel any better, I grew up in the Newark Baptist Temple and was a child when you and Polly were a young married couple. And I never actually thought you were a believer. I was actually not even a little bit surprised when I stumbled on this blog and saw that you had left the church. So you didn’t fool EVERYBODY. I left the IFB church as soon as I was an adult, but I left it for genuine faith in God, not atheism. I do, however, respect their right to believe/teach what they want, just as I respect yours. I am a little bothered by how mean spirited your writing is. Isn’t that “I know everything agree with me or you’re an idiot” spirit part of your objection to the Baptists? You’re not really coming across as any kinder than you did when I was a kid. You’re just being ugly toward a different group of people.

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      So you made this judgement as a child? Wow, you must have had real discernment. Especially since Polly and I were only at the Baptist Temple from October of 1979 to February of 1981.

      If you really want to be honest, use your real name and then we will talk. It is real easy for you, the good Christian that you are, to slander me. Seems you still are hanging on to your fundamentalist way of thinking.

      Reply
    2. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      Interesting that you edited out of your comment, “I thought you were even more legalistic and self-righteous than the other preachers, and more than a little mean spirited and arrogant. You didn’t seem to be even a little bit like Jesus. You seem to be into total honesty, so know that there was at least one little kid who wasn’t fooled by you.”

      Why is that? Overplay your hand a bit, especially since you, as a child, never heard me preach?

      Reply
    3. John Arthur

      Hi Kimmy,

      How much of Bruce’s writing have you actually read? His writing is NOT mean spirited.
      Maybe you need to read more of it and try to understand his position and why and how he arrived at it.

      Shalom,

      John Arthur

      Reply
      1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

        Last I checked, she had read this post and a couple of others. I don’t think she has been back since she left her comment. I hope she will comment again, identify herself, so we can “talk” about her childhood recollections of me. I don’t want to say she is lying, but she needs to be a bit clearer about who she is, how she knows me, who her family is, etc.

        Reply
  18. Dale

    Kimmy, thank you so much for the dose of sanctimonious attitude. Lemme guess, you went out an found the REAL God. Got a feeling He’s no different than the one you, ahem, claimed to have left. You’re one of those, “Hey, I don’t like religion! You know who else didn’t like religion? Jesus!” Then you’d introduce Bruce (yeah, God’s on your side, so you’re mightier than Bruce and his disbelief) to the same shit he left behind.

    Yes, you must have been blessed with a cornucopia of discernment as a child. I remember as a child just wanting the preacher to finish the sermon already. I think most children really are like that. But having that degree of discernment, please, give us some proof of your claim.

    So Bruce is ugly? No, but he really does get pissed off when people like you try to bring him back “into the light” or out of a need to put him in his place without even reading the “My Journey” section of this blog. No, he’s not ugly…but I am: Go fuck yourself, Kimmy.

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      I see Kimmy has not returned. I tried my darnedest to figure out who she is…hopefully she will come back and identify herself so we can have a “conversations” about the facts of her childhood recollections of me. That is, IF the facts matter to her.

      Reply
  19. Coyote

    Hello Bruce,

    I just wanted to comment and say that I found your take on spiritualism really fascinating. I’m an amateur scientist (mostly I love science, but I’ve never been through enough schooling to have any sort of real appreciable take on it) and I’m a Pagan who’s an ex-Eastern Orthodox Christian. I jumped from Spiritual Box A to Spiritual Box B, but my Box is as open minded as your Athiest box. :D

    Anyway, I don’t have much to add to the discussion, but I just wanted to say I thought your posts were interesting. Thanks for putting yourself out here on the internet, I know it can be a bit daunting to bare your soul (if you’ll pardon the expression.)

    Have a good day!

    - The Coyote.

    Reply

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