Simple Contact Form For Evangelicals

Dear Evangelical,

Today you stumbled upon The Way Forward and the writing of Bruce Gerencser.  You did a Google or Bing search and The Way Forward was on the first page of search results. You are shocked and upset by what this Bruce Gerencser guy writes. You want to give him a piece of your mind, in Jesus’s name, of course, so you went to the contact form page to do so. On the page you read:

Please use the following form to contact me.  If your email warrants a response I will respond as soon as possible. Due to persistent health problems, I can not guarantee a timely response. Sometimes, I am a a week or more behind on responding to email. My delay doesn’t mean I don’t care. It does mean I can only do what I can do. I hope you understand.

If your email is an attempt to sermonize, witness, preach, quote Bible verses, or personally attack me, I reserve the right to make your email public.  I am not interested in hearing from lackeys for the IFB church movement or a particular pastor or church. You have been warned.

I do not accept unsolicited guest posts.  Please do not email me about writing a guest post. I will not respond to your request.

I have no need of help with SEO, Google ranking, etc. I use a managed WordPress service and my ranking on Google is first page on most subjects I write about. I do NOT need your help, so please do not email me trying to selling me the latest, greatest way to improve my Google ranking.

I have no interest in buying Facebook likes, Twitter followers, or anything else you might be selling. Please do not email me with your sales pitch.

Everyone else? I would love to hear from you.

You can also contact me on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, or Tumblr.

Thank you for taking the time to contact me.

You thought, who cares what Bruce Gerencser thinks? GOD wants me to send Bruce Gerencser an email. GOD wants me to set him straight!! And so you click SEND.

Your email will be just like the email of hundreds of Evangelicals (Fundamentalists) before you. In an effort to help Evangelical readers save some time so they will have more time to pray, read their Bible, and evangelize people who don’t want evangelized, I have made the following Simple Contact Form for Evangelicals

Name: (Put in fake name because you are so fearless)

Email Address: (Put in fake email address because God knows who you are)

Reason for Contacting Bruce Gerencser (Choose all that apply)

_____To tell him he is wrong

_____To preach to him

_____To quote Bible verses to him

_____To evangelize him

_____To tell him he doesn’t know anything about the Bible

_____To let him know God still loves him

_____To let him know I am praying for him

_____To tell him he never was a Christian

_____To tell him he is going to hell

_____To tell him he is still saved and can never be un-saved

_____To tell him he was/is a false prophet

_____To tell him he was/is a wolf in sheep’s clothing

_____To tell him he is angry

_____To tell him he is bitter

_____To tell him his writing shows he has been hurt

_____To tell him he is fat

_____To tell him I hope he burns in hell

_____To tell him that I am praying God will kill him

_____To tell him that he has a meaningless, empty life

_____To tell him he is going to die soon and then he will find out THE TRUTH!

_____To tell him that I know THE TRUTH about him!

Once you have completed this form, please click the send button below.

send

What? You can’t send it? This must be an atheist conspiracy to keep you from exercising your Christian nation Constitutional right to say whatever you want to Bruce Gerencser. By all means, please continue to click the send button. After you have done so a few hundred times and are thoroughly frustrated and irritated, then you will know how I feel after Evangelical after Evangelical sends me email saying one or more of the things listed above.

Here are a few things you need to understand about me:

  • I likely know more about the Bible and theology than you do
  • You are not going to tell me anything I have not heard before
  • I am an unrepentant apostate
  • I have no interest in Christianity, Jesus or your interpretation of the Bible (been there done that)
  • I am immune to threats of harm or death…in real life I would probably kick your ass
  • I am a committed and circumcised atheist
  • I am a happy if you know it say amen humanist
  • I do go to church every Sunday, the church of the NFL
  • I am a good, decent, kind, caring man, husband, father, grandfather, and friend
  • I love my neighbor as myself

Now, go in peace, and find someone who really wants to buy what you are selling. I don’t.

Comments (11)

  1. theObserver

    Buying Facebook likes is a thing now ??

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      Yep. Most every day I get someone trying to sell me Facebook likes or Twitter followers. Just a few moments ago, I got an email via the contact form from someone wanting to sell me 50 Facebook likes for 1.00. Keep in mind they actually read what I have on the page and email me any way. I even put a math question on the form to deter bots, so it is likely a real human doing this. Most of these kind of emails come from outside the US.

      One genius contacted me and even told me HIS email was not SPAM. He said he noticed my blog did not have a mobile theme. I thought, really? Then what is that mobile theme I am PAYING FOR? :)

      I never email them back, out of fear that once they have my email address they will spam me or use it for other nefarious purposes.

      Add to this the people who try to login to my blog admin page. Every day, numerous times a day. I use a plugin that locks them out when they try this. (and my service provider monitors this) They are so lame…thinking I would use ADMIN or BRUCE for my username. SUrely they should known that my username is IAM GOD. :)

      Such is the nature of having a blog…at least for me. The latest barrage is coming from people who want to place ads on my site. They see the traffic numbers…and they think I would want to monetize my site. I don’t. The donation page is enough. I do this because I want to…not because I want to make money. (and I think the donations are likely more than I would make from ads)

      Reply
  2. August

    You’d think that evangelicals would heed the advice in Matthew 7:1-5. It’s almost as though they don’t take to heart their own sacred text.

    Reply
  3. belisarius77

    I actually did just stumble onto your blog yesterday. I left a complimentary note on one of your articles and identified myself as an evolutionary creationist and I may have mentioned that I am Eastern Orthodox.

    Then I got this in my email today and was like, “What the crap? All I did was compliment the guy and he’s acting like I’m some kind of holy troller!”

    It took me a few minutes to realize this was your latest blog post and not something you just send to every Christian who happens by.

    Got me good, Bruce :-)

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      No problem. :) I am a pretty easy going guy and I have a deep appreciation for the non-Fundamentalist religious beliefs of others. (I have no tolerance for Fundamentalism) My blog attracts a lot of apologists for Evangelicalism and the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church movement. They rarely exhibit the ability to play well with others and only want to hear themselves talk. I infuriate them because they know I know. I spent most of my life on the inside…I know what I am talking about.

      Case in point…not long after I posted this…here came this email:

      From: val Subject: The truth is…
      216.186.48.61

      Message Body:

      The Bible is the book of the knowledge of good and evil.

      The KJV must be rightly divided 2 Tim 2:15 God’s way Isa 28:9-10 and of his spirit to understand it.

      God chose a woman to deliver Rev 12:5-6 the true word John 1:1, Acts 3:21-23 like unto Moses Deut 18:18 proving the power of God as Elijah Matt 17:3, Luke 1:17.

      The proof of what I tell you is in the hearing. If you love God with all your heart, soul and mind then obey God’s word Matt 4:4 and prove ALL things 1 Thes 5:21.

      Our heavenly Father will not put any child of his into a hell fire no matter what their sins. It never entered the heart or mind of God to ever do such a thing Jer7:31, Jer 19:5.

      The witness is on these websites (links deleted.) God only gives his Holy Spirit to those who obey him Acts 5:32.

      If you are not keeping his commandments his way you do not know him. The word Gospel means Good Tale. The true Gospel is now delivered as a witness Matt 24:14.

      I get less of these now than I used to but I get enough of them to be irritated and entertained.

      You are good my friend. Most Orthodox people, yes Virgil I am talking about you, :) are great people and are quite easy to get along with. We discuss, disagree, hey let’s have a beer. :) I don’t trivialize our differences but non-Fundamentalists seem to get that you can’t argue someone into Christianity.

      Reply
  4. pgaikin

    I know this is off topic, and Bruce, being ill I know you can’t or probably reply. But i was intrigued by Polly’s answer. Especially, was she an atheist? No. Interesting. Humanist? What did she mean? I’m agnostic about the god question because I don’t know all the answers and been searching since the hippy-dippy 60s (to bad you missed it, it was wonderful time to be alive. It was magic.) Anyway, thanks. Peter, Crazy Canuck,who is freezing today, windchill -10-15 c, – -10-12 F. Keep warm

    Reply
    1. Becky Rogers Wiren

      I got from what Polly said that her primary identification is humanist. From what else she has posted and all of Bruce’s posts, I get she does not believe in the Christian God any more.

      Reply
      1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

        That pretty well sums it up. Like I told Peter, she is indifferent about religion and God. So many other things she is busy with that she doesn’t have the time to devote to answering the great existential questions of our time. :)

        Reply
    2. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      Cold here too. Windy. Low in the single digits tonight. I turned up the heat and I am wearing a ski cap.

      If someone asked me to describe Polly’s beliefs, I would say: Polly is indifferent when it comes to religion or God. She has less than zero interest in attending church, reading the Bible, praying, etc. She thinks the Christian God is a myth. Does she hold out some hope there is a God of some sort? Maybe, but I think she really doesn’t care. She is too busy enjoying life, working,baking, and watching grandkids to give much of a thought to the notion…is there a God. Her experience with Christianity is very different from mine. While I was the King of the hill, the pastor, the man at the center, she was the servant, slave, and gopher. She was a great pastor’s wife, willing to do for others, but she has no desire to EVER be a pastor’s wife again. (and I don’t blame her)

      Reply
  5. Ian

    Great post. I wonder how many people will actually try to use the form. It would be great if you could put a counter on the send button.

    Reply
  6. Steve

    Awesome post, my friend. Hopefully, this one will put an end to all your harassment.

    Reply

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