Religion

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Washing Our Feet in Sodomite Blood, Praising God by Steven Anderson

steven anderson family

Steven and Zsuzsanna Anderson and their eight children. November 2015

This is the seventy-fourth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from a sermon preached Steven Anderson, pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church, Tempe, Arizona. Note all the children on the front rows.

Video Link

Health Problems Experienced by Gays Can be Cured by Jesus

gay blade chick tract

Gay Blade, Jack Chick Tract, circa 1972

Warning! Snark ahead! Evangelicals easily offended by having their bigotry exposed should NOT read this post!

Monday, the American Medical Association’s Internal Medicine Journal released a report detailing the health problems faced by LGBT people.  CNN reports:

Researchers now have a broader understanding of the health disparities suffered by gay, lesbian and bisexual people. A recent study found that these groups are more likely to suffer psychological distress, heavy drinking and heavy cigarette smoking.

The study, published in the American Medical Association’s Internal Medicine journal on Monday, sheds new light on such disparities in a population-based sample of adults in the United States.
….
“This study was one of the largest, most comprehensive studies of its kind to find differences in health and health behaviors by sexual orientation,” said Carrie Henning-Smith, health policy researcher at the University of Minnesota and a co-author of the study. “Our findings should raise concern that lesbian, gay and bisexual adults experience health disparities.”

The researchers analyzed data collected from more than 68,000 [67,150 survey respondents were heterosexual, 525 lesbian, 624 gay and 515 bisexual. The average age was about 47] adults nationwide as part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2013 and 2014 National Health Interview Surveys. The surveys included questions about sexual orientation, chronic conditions, mental health, alcohol consumption, cigarette use and overall health.

The researchers discovered that gay and bisexual men were more likely than heterosexual men to suffer severe psychological distress, heavy drinking and heavy cigarette smoking. Lesbians were more likely than heterosexual women to experience psychological distress, poor or fair health, and heavy drinking and smoking. Bisexual women were more likely to suffer multiple chronic conditions.

“The data did not allow us to identify specific causes of health disparities in this study,” Henning-Smith said. “However, we know from other research that the experience of being part of a stigmatized minority population can lead to chronic stress, which, in turn, can have negative impacts on health and health behaviors.”
The researchers hope that the data could help to inform and encourage clinicians to be more sensitive to and aware of the specific psychological and physical needs of gay, lesbian and bisexual patients.

….

Evangelicals have quickly and viciously used this report as “proof” that being LGBT promotes unhealthy lifestyles. Evidently these homophobic bigots missed the line that stated “The data did not allow us to identify specific causes of health disparities in this study.” One such person is a woman by the name of Denise who spends a lot of time “anally” reporting on the vile, wicked, sinful behavior of people she labels sodomites. Denise is a Calvinist, a female of version of Steven Anderson. Unlike Anderson, Denise doesn’t show her face on videos nor does she let readers know her last name. That said, theology and her obsession with oral and anal sex and STDs is very Andersonesque. In a post titled, Survey: excessive health problems among deviants , Denise opines:

Sin has consequences. Trying to go against God’s created order, suppressing the Truth with their unrighteousness (Romans 1), will have physical ramifications.  They blame those who reject their deviant behavior, for their physical problems which is irrational. The problem is enslavement to sin, and the solution is to repent of one’s sins, confess one to be totally depraved with original sin, and cry out to God our Creator, for mercy and forgiveness. He is quick to forgive and save those who come to Him through Jesus Christ the resurrected Lord for salvation. Those whom HE sets free through faith in Christ Jesus alone by His blood, are made free indeed by Him.

Denise thinks that the reason LGBT people have certain health problems is due to the fact that they are sinful deviants. Denise totally rejects the notion that gay-haters such as herself are part of the problem. In Denise’s world, LGBT people are sick for one reason — sin!!  According to Anderson’s comrade in the war against “sodomy,” if sodomites would just repent of their sins (which means becoming as God made them — heterosexuals) and cry out to the Calvinistic God for mercy and forgiveness, all would be forgiven and their health problems would disappear. Now, I am sure Denise would say, No, LGBT health problems are the consequences of their deviancy. Yes, Jesus will save them and deliver them from their wicked desires, but former LGBT people still have to live with the physical damage done by lifetimes of wrong-way fucking. I suspect Denise would also say that LGBT deviants should repent while they are young before sexual “sins” ravage their bodies. Get out while you are young, Denise likely would say. Live the best years of your life in service of the heterosexual God.

If Jesus is the “cure” for LGBT health problems, why are so many heterosexual Christians sick? Churches are filled with people who are sickly, suffering the ravages countless diseases. Perhaps Evangelicals are sick due to heterosexual anal sex and blowjobs, Denise might say. Only married missionary position intercourse is permitted! Grandma Grace, why do you have cancer? granddaughter Evangeline asks. Grandma Grace shamefully hangs her head  and says, I gave Grandpa Joseph a blowjob in 1983. Cancer is God’s punishment for me swallowingIf you want to avoid cancer, Grandma Grace says, never, ever put anything but food in your mouth, and never, ever let your husband come through the back door.

I know, I am being silly now, but the very notion that LGBT people have certain health problems due to sin is ludicrous. I am sure that in the years ahead, researchers will continue to investigate exactly why LGBT people are more prone to certain illnesses. I suspect that researchers with find that AIDS, unrelenting persecution by Evangelicals, Mormons, and conservative Catholics, and lack of medical care contributed to many of the LGBT health issues detailed in the aforementioned study. For those of us who are heterosexual, perhaps we should ask ourselves how our health might be affected if we had to live in circumstances similar to those of LGBT people. I wonder, would we turn to substance abuse, suicide, and have increased mental health issues? Those of us who were savaged by Christian Fundamentalism (see Are Evangelicals Fundamentalists?) understand how constant assaults on your humanity can lead to mental health problems and thoughts of suicide. Those waging war against all things non-heterosexual are the very same people who preach and write against any and all behaviors they consider “sins” against their version of the Biblical God. It should be clear to all who dare to see that Evangelicalism, Mormonism, and conservative Catholicism breeds hate — hate not only of those they deem “sinful,” but also hate of self. Knowing who and what they really are, these defenders of virginity, heterosexuality, and Christian America rail against the very secrets they hide from their fellow Christians. As is often the case, people who scream and preach the loudest against this or that behavior are often secretly doing the same. Stay tuned. Perhaps we shall someday learn that Denise is really into making her own clothes — which is hard to do without a good bit of scissoring.

Fundamentalist J.D. Hall “Apologizes” to LGBT Community

jd hall

Last year, attention whore J.D. Hall, pastor of Fellowship Baptist Church in Sidney, Montana (the church’s website proudly reports that men such as Fundamentalists Paul Washer, James White, Voddie Baucham, Chris Rosebrough, Douglas Wilson, Ray Comfort, Phil Johnson, Justin Peters, and Sye Ten Bruggencate have preached there) , wrote an “apology” letter to the LGBT community. He reposted his letter today on the Pulpit & Pen website — a trash repository for all things Fundamentalist, Baptist, and Calvinistic. When I first saw  the headline of Hall’s post I thought, has J.D. Hall had a come-to-Jesus moment? Dare I hope that Hall is repudiating his hatred for LGBT people? These thoughts were quickly extinguished by the fact that unless Hall is admitting he is a transvestite Baptist, there’s zero chance that he will turn from his gay-hating ways.

Hall used his “apology” letter to the LGBT community to remind them of the following:

Dear Gay Community,

As a Christian who has been forced to evaluate where I stand in recent days in light of Scripture, in both tone and message, I would like to apologize for myself and other Christians…

1. I’m sorry that any of us ever referred to you as a “gay community.” Really, that’s not helpful. A “community” is a group of individuals that either live in the same place or share the same values. Sodomy (defined as unnatural and immoral sexual behavior) is not a value. Sodomy is a deviancy. Now, if you defined “community” as sharing interests and not values, then there could theoretically be a gay community because you hold unnatural and immoral sexual behavior as a common interest. However, to call you a “community” would legitimize this sin in a way that we don’t legitimize any other sin. For example, we don’t recognize “the thieving community” or the “the lying community” or “the bank-robbing community” or “the rapist community” or the “white collar criminal community.” If communities could be founded upon self-destructive behavior, those communities would be self-defeating, and a self-defeating community is no community at all. In fact, a truly “gay community” would be extinct within one generation. Your unnatural sexual deviancy leads to death; legitimate communities are self-populating and regenerative. It was a dumb term for Christians to start using, and I apologize for all of those who inadvertently give credence to the narrative that yours is a community and not a group of sinners who share in community-destroying behavior.

2. I’m sorry that Christians have made a habit of referring to you as LGBT or LGBTQ or by any other acronym or term, identifying you by your sin. First, it is unfair and unhelpful to identify you by your sin. This is actually discriminatory against you, because we don’t behave this way toward any other group of sinners. Adulterers don’t find their identity in adultery. Liars don’t find their identity in lying. Gluttons don’t find their identity in gluttony. We tend to view others as “people who happen to [fill in the blank with any number of sins].” We haven’t viewed you as people – first and foremost – who suffer from the sinful desire of sodomy. Now, you have self-identified as LGBT, because there is a unique tendency when it comes to homosexuality to let the sin consume you as a person, but we should not have participated in the unfortunate reality that your identity has become wrapped up in sinful behavior. If you thought of yourself as a person who suffers from homosexual desires, rather than as a homosexual, you might realize that you’re more than your specific sexual deviancy.
….

3. I’m sorry that we’ve given you the impression that “self-identifying” is a thing. Yes, I know I’ve used the term to get a point across in this letter of apology. But, here’s the thing…you don’t get to “self-identify.” God gave you your identity. Bruce Jenner is not Caitlyn. That’s silly. He’s a guy who emasculated himself to look like a woman, adding breasts and makeup and tucking appendages. It’s a game of dress up, essentially. And if he were to remove his genitalia, he still wouldn’t be a woman. He’d be a man without his genitalia. Bruce Jenner will never have PMS. That’s because he’s not a woman. It’s really, really mean for Christians to be anything but straightforward with this reality. I’m convinced that Bruce Jenner doesn’t have people around him that loves [sic] him, or else they would tell him that he doesn’t look like a beautiful woman. He looks like the person that kids on the bus snicker at behind them, and dare one another to go up and touch. Christians, if we were loving, would say “Bless your heart, but you’re not a woman. You’re a man trying to look like a woman, but no one really thinks you’re accomplishing that so well. You are Bruce, and God made you to be Bruce, and you can never be Caitlyn.”
….

6. Finally, I apologize for all the professed Christians that you thought had convictions, only to find out that they were sniveling, driveling compromise machines. It probably surprised you how they changed their tune and their tone when the Supreme Court ruled. That’s especially tragic. It’s tragic, because I know that your conscience is cutting you. I know that even truth suppressed in unrighteousness hurts. It’s painful, I’m sure. You might even be on the look-out for conviction and resolve and truth, and while perhaps being glad to see the rainbow filter go on your professing-Christian Facebook friends’ profiles, you’re a little let down that there isn’t an unchanging reality out there somewhere. Down deep, you know that you need that. I’m sorry for all those who have professed Christ, but haven’t loved you (or Him) enough to dig their heels in and speak a truth that’s as helpful as it is inconvenient.

I sincerely hope you’ll forgive us for these shortcomings, and we strive to do better in the future.

You can read Hall’s non-apology letter here.

While Evangelicals fall all over themselves attempting to explain that Steven Anderson is some sort of lone homo-hater, Hall’s “apology” letter is a reminder that hatred of LGBT people can be found in EVERY Evangelical church. (Hall’s church, for example, is a Southern Baptist congregation that self-identifies as Reformed Baptist.) I am sure Hall is a proud as a peacock over his “apology” letter. Ha! Ha! Ha! No apology here, you sexual deviants. God’s still hates you, and since I, a properly circumcised Calvinist,  love what God loves and hate what God hates, I hate YOU! As Steven Anderson does, J.D. Hall and the Pen & Pulpit blog have a large following — including 2,373 likes on Facebook and 6,708 followers on Twitter. Hall and other Pulpit & Pen contributors also use a radio program, podcasts, frequent blog posts to promote their version of Evangelical Christianity. Evangelicals who now realize how their vitriol towards the LGBT community caused much harm need to own the fact that there are numerous Halls and Andersons within Evangelicalism (and the Southern Baptist Convention). Granted, many of these haters will never preach hateful sermons as Anderson does, or pen hurtful “apology” letters. Many Evangelicals are too “nice” to ever do such things, but don’t be deceived by their niceness. Behind closed doors, in the safety of their faggot-free churches and homes, these “nice” Evangelicals continue to rail against the letters of the rainbow, condemning LGBT people to hell.

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: The Filthy Sodomites Are At War With Us by Steven Anderson

pastor steven anderson

Steven Anderson pastors an Faithful Word Baptist Church, an IFB church in Tempe, Arizona. Pity the children.

This is the seventy-third installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from a sermon preached Steven Anderson, pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church, Tempe, Arizona. The saddest thing about this video is a child’s laughter as Anderson rails against “filthy sodomites.” There’s no hope for Anderson, save him finally coming out of the closet and admitting he is a repressed homosexual. There’s still a glimmer of hope for the children of Faithful Word members. Sadly, as each week passes, and their minds continue to be assaulted by the homophobic, bigoted Anderson, hope’s light grows dim. My heart aches for children who are raised in such toxic environments.

Video Link

Bruce, You Are Leading People People to HELL!

lucinda palestrantA Fundamentalist Christian woman by the name of Lucinda Palestrant sent me the above email earlier today. Palestrant came to this site via a Google search for Darwin Fish. Eighteen months ago I wrote a post about Fish titled, Darwin Fish, A True Prophet of God.  In this post I described Fish this way: Darwin Fish, the truest Christian on earth, a fundamentalist on steroids. Evidently, Palestrant is also a member of that elite, super-sanctified, elect remnant of Christians who supposedly will someday be rewarded by Jesus for their mind-numbing devotion to what they believe are the TRUE teachings of the Bible. Heaven awaits them, their reward for stoutly standing for true Christianity®, while the illimitable sea of humans past, present, and future will be cast into outer darkness, facing eternal torture and suffering because they were born in the wrong country, raised in the wrong home, or had the wrong beliefs. (See Why Most Americans are Christian ) And for people such as myself, those who have full knowledge of the truth, yet reject it and lead others astray? Hell, fueled by God’s hatred of sin, awaits.

Palestrant warns me: The Lord knoweth the thoughts of man, that they are vanity. (Psalm 94:11) Evidently, this verse is supposed to scare me. God knows what you are thinking, Bruce, Palestrant admonishes, thinking that I will quake in my Sketchers over the very thought of her God reading my mind. Here’s what Palestrant fails to understand: I think her God is fiction, no more able to read my mind than Leonard Nimoy — of Star Trek fame — is able to do a mind meld and read my innermost thoughts.

As a writer, public figure, and a well-known atheist, I understand that my written and spoken words matter. Virtually every day that I am physically able, I send out my words to be read by thousands of people. For almost a year now, my editor — Grammar Gramma — has edited my writing, helping me to hone my writing skills, saving me from countless careless, imprecise errors. My goal has always the same: to passionately and effectively tell my story in such a way that it infuriates Fundamentalists, helps those who have been harmed by Fundamentalism, and provide a voice for those who have been psychologically savaged by Evangelical Christianity. (See Are Evangelicals Fundamentalists? )

I consider it a great honor to have the Lucinda Palestrants of the world tell me that I am leading people to hell. Since the Biblical hell is about as real as Donald Trump’s Christianity, the only “hell” I am leading readers to is the one filled with reason and freedom. It is in this “hell” people find that they are free to follow the path of life wherever it leads. No longer shackled by Fundamentalist dogma, former Evangelicals are free to embrace the wild, wonderful (and dangerous) world on their own terms. I can only hope that Lucinda Palestrant will someday experience the wonders of an intellect liberated from the bondage of the Christian Bible.

Sacrilegious Humor: The Religion of Bart Simpson

baby jesus bart simpson

This is the thirty-seventh installment in the Sacrilegious Humor series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a comedy bit that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please email me the name of the bit or a link to it.

Today’s bit is a clip from The Simpsons.

Warning, many of the comedy bits in this series will contain profanity. You have been warned.

Video Link

Sacrilegious Humor: The Simpsons — In the Garden of Eden

homer simpson

This is the thirty-sixth installment in the Sacrilegious Humor series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a comedy bit that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please email me the name of the bit or a link to it.

Today’s bit is a clip from The Simpsons, featuring In the Garden of Eden (In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida) by Iron Butterfly.

Warning, many of the comedy bits in this series will contain profanity. You have been warned.

Video Link

Pastor Bruce the Moral Crusader and the Exit Two Whore House

massage

During the seven years (1995-2002) I pastored Our Father’s House in West Unity, Ohio, I waged several crusades against those who ran afoul of my Fundamentalist moral code. One such crusade took place in June of 1997.

Williams County is located in the far Northwest corner of Ohio, bordered to north by Michigan and to the west by Indiana. The Ohio Turnpike runs through the northern part of the county. Travelers exiting on Route 15 (Exit Two) find several motels and restaurants. Being a three-hour straight shot from Chicago — with lots of car and truck traffic — Exit Two was an ideal place to locate a house of ill repute.

One day I was out and about and I noticed that there was a new business at Exit Two — The Queen Spa. Owned by Korean families from Chicago and Toledo, the massage parlor featured women of Far Eastern ethnicity. Once I ascertained that this new business was actually a front for prostitution, I morphed into Pastor Bruce the Moral Crusader and set my sights on putting the Exit Two whore house out of business.

The first thing I did was write a letter to the editor of The Bryan Times. In the letter, I alleged that the massage parlor was actually a house of prostitution. I called on the Williams County Sheriff to immediately investigate and close down the massage parlor. Christopher Cullis, the editor of the Times, called and told me that he could not print my letter as written. Since none of the massage parlor workers had been arrested and charged with prostitution, Cullis asked me to remove from my letter the prostitution allegation. Cullis’ request, at the time, irritated the heaven out of me, but I now know that he was trying to shelter me (and the paper) from legal liability in the event the prostitution claim proved to be false. (If I remember right, the Times was running weekly ads for the Queen Spa.)

I also decided to make sure that EVERY pastor in Williams County, along with every licensed massage therapist and elected official, knew that a massage parlor had set up shop at Exit Two. I sent out a hundred or so letters, hoping that the recipients would join me in forcing the Sheriff to close down the parlor. A total of five pastors responded to my letter, and only one of them was willing to join me on the front line of Bruce’s battle against prostitution.

A week or so later, the phone rang and Sheriff Al Word was on the other end of the line. Hmmperhaps he got my letter, I thought. He did, and boy was he NOT happy with me. Unbeknownst to me, The Williams County Sheriff’s Department, in conjunction with the Ohio Bureau of Criminal Investigation, was running an undercover sting operation, hoping to arrest the massage parlor owners and workers. Since this was an ongoing operation, the Sheriff asked — in a voice that said, I’m telling you, STOP IT! — if I would PLEASE ratchet down my crusade against the massage parlor. And if you will do so, the Sheriff said, you can go along with us when we make the arrests. I quickly said yes.

The Sheriff called me the night before the arrests and told me to meet him at the motel across the highway from the massage parlor. The Sheriff and the Bureau of Criminal Investigation had set up shop in a room that allowed them to observe the front door of the parlor. At the appointed time, officers entered the parlor, making two arrests —  Korean prostitutes aged 45 and 52. One woman was charged with promoting prostitution and the other was charged with solicitation. Law enforcement seized numerous items, including unused condoms, $5,000 cash, credit cards, checks, and food stamps. Yes, several “customers” had paid with checks and food stamps.

At the time of the arrests, Sheriff Word said, “The goal was not arrests. The goal is to get it [the massage parlor] out. We don’t want that here.” Thanks to Sheriff Word, the Ohio Bureau of Criminal Investigation, and Pastor Bruce, the Moral Crusader, the Queen Spa was no more. I thought, at the time, that I had won a great victory for Jesus. Sadly, I didn’t give a moment’s thought to the women who were arrested. I regret that I was more concerned with maintaining an air of moral superiority than wondering why these older women were working as prostitutes. Both women looked much older than their age. Drugs? Forced to prostitute themselves? Whatever the reason, all that mattered to me was making a public stand against immorality.

Note

The Queen Spa opened and closed several times between the events detailed above and January 1998, when it was shuttered for good. (December 31, 1997 Bryan Times, January 8, 1998 Bryan Times)