What I Found When I Left the Box

(repost)

Earlier this week I wrote a post titled The Danger of Being In a Box and Why It All Makes Sense When You Are in a Box.  A commenter of Reddit asked if I would elaborate on:

But is wasn’t.  My mind was filled with thoughts of all the wonders I found outside the box. Things that those in my box said were bad for me. Things that they were sure would ruin me. They told me that the box was all I needed.

But out I wandered once again and just like before I fell down the slope of the slippery hill. This happened to me many times before I finally gave up stayed at the bottom of the hill. At this moment the box I had lived in for almost 50 years no longer fit. For the first time the things I had found in the box seemed odd, peculiar, and contradictory.

outside_box_2Every time I left the box I found new and wondrous things. Things I had never heard about before. Things I had never experienced. The box I was in for 5 decades was a box where the dimensions of the box were clearly defined. There was no guessing about the length, width, or depth of the box.  Over time the box had to be replaced. Those outside the box constantly battered the box with bats, bricks, and rocks. Sometimes these attacks would cause gaping holes in the box and it became necessary to replace the box.

The new box was not like the old box at all. The dimensions were different and it held fewer people. Everyone in the box pretended that the box was just like the old box. An old-fashioned box, we were told We knew the box was not like the old one, but giving the appearance that the new box was the same as the old box was more important that coming to grips with the reality that the box was different. The box keeper was adamant. He said our box was just like the first box that the savior of the box built 2000 years ago.

On one of my trips outside of the box I found out that the box keeper wasn’t telling the truth. He was trying to preserve something that never existed. Perhaps he really didn’t know since he had never been outside the box.  I found out the box manual had errors and contradictions in it. People outside the box questioned whether the box manual was a divine manual. For a time fear plagued me every time I went outside the box. I realized if the box manual wasn’t true then everything I believed about the box was wrong. I thought, “I am smart guy. How could I have been deceived for almost 50 years?”  “Surely ALL these people in the box can’t be wrong?”

As I strayed further and further away from the box I found that there were all kinds of other boxes. Every religion had their own box, as did the various political, social, and economic ideologies. I always knew there were other boxes but I considered all other boxes but the one I was in to be false boxes.

Those of us in the box always mocked those in the atheist box. None of us actually knew an atheist, nor had we ever read a book written by an atheist but Dr. Ihavethetruth told us he  knew all there was to know about the atheist box and he was certain the atheist box was a false box. He told us many horrible things about the atheist box. I was glad I was not one of THOSE kind of box dwellers.

Imagine my surprise to find out that the atheist box was nothing like Dr. Ihavethetruth said it was. In fact, I found out there was quite a bit of diversity in the atheist box. They argued back and forth with each other, but at the end of the day they all went to the bar and were still friends. I had never seen such interaction before. In my box when arguments broke out they usually ended when each party called the other party a not-a-true box dweller. Some of them even went so far as to leave the box and, just a few feet away build another box.  They said they were a new and DIFFERENT box but everyone knew that they only thing  different was the location of the box.

I found that I liked the atheist box. Those in the atheist box encouraged me to be skeptical of the every box. I had never heard this before. In the box I was from we were told to never question the box and certainly to never question or doubt the box manual. The box keeper warned us that doubt led many a box dweller outside of the box never to return.

This new found freedom to question and to be skeptical was quite liberating. It also caused a good bit of conflict for me. People from the box I had left were questioning whether or not I was ever a “real” box dweller. They said, Yes he was in the box but he never really believed the box manual. They called me a deceiver. Some even thought I was deluded. The box keeper used me as an illustration of what happens when a person leaves the box.

For a time my new found freedom, while liberating, caused me a great amount of mental conflict.  There seemed to be a constant tug and pull. I felt like I was going to be pulled apart. I heard about a man who specialized in helping people who left boxes like the one I was in. So I went to see him and I knew immediately that he could help with the tug and pull that was trying to pull me apart.

Over time I began to see how the box, the box keeper, and the box manual had taken over my life to such a degree that I lost who I was. Every time I saw the specialist I reclaimed some of the self that I had lost. As this happened I began to deal with the questions I had about the box and the box manual.

I am not sure when the moment was, but I do remember coming to a place where I felt completely free. I felt “born again”. I thought I am a “born again” atheist. I no longer felt any pull to return to the box. Of course those in the box said “See what happens when you stay outside the box for a long time?”

Three years have gone by since I found myself at the bottom of the slippery hill. It is hard to believe…three years. People in the atheist box, the box I now call home, told me that things would be better with time. They encouraged me to read and study. They told me “go where the data leads you.”

Leaving the box I was in was the best thing that has ever happened in my life. I want to shout FREE, FREE AT LAST. I love having  the freedom to investigate not only my religious beliefs but also my political, social, and economic beliefs. (or for that matter any issue I am confronted with)

Over time I learned that the atheist box, or for that matter any box I find myself in, is not perfect. In every box there are arrogant, nasty, vindictive box dwellers. No box is perfect but some boxes are definitely better than others. That’s the greatest wonder of all………I now have the  ability to freely choose the box (es) I want to be in.

I guess the best thing to say here is this……

I no longer feel boxed in.

The Most Effective Methods used by Christians to Turn Me Off to Christianity

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(repost)

Based on a sampling of almost 6,000 comments I am able to come to some conclusions about the methods Christians use to turn me, and many other people, off to Christianity. Their words speak volumes about their God, Jesus, and the Bible.  In their attempts to witness to me, evangelize me, set me straight, or deliver me from my delusions, they continue to show me that leaving Christianity and the ministry was the next best thing I have ever done. (The best thing was marrying my best friend and wife of 33 years)

So, here’s the list of Most Effective Methods used by Christians to Turn Me off to Christianity. Whatever their motive, Christians need to know that the things listed here DO NOT help them achieve their intended goal. (and I suspect most atheists and nonbelievers would agree with me on this, not that Christians care what we think)

Quoting Bible Verses

One of the favorite things that Christians like to do is quote Bible verses. They think the verses of Bible have some magical power and that if they put them in a comment that I will, all of a sudden, be convicted of the error of my way and coming running back to Jesus.

They seemingly forget that I know the Bible inside and out. Even today, six years removed from when I preached my last sermon, I can still quote from memory hundreds of Bible verses. The Bible is deeply imbedded into my mind. (as are the lyrics of hundreds and hundreds of Christian songs)

I know the Bible inside and out. Arrogant sounding, I know, but it is just how it is. I have yet to read a verse in a comment that I have not seen before. I have not read the Bible in over three years, yet my mind is still filled with the words of the Bible and Christian doctrine. I even find myself humming Christian songs or singing a few bars of my favorite hymns or praise and worship songs.

My problem is not a lack of Bible knowledge or understanding. I know all I need to know about the Bible and its teaching.

Fortunately, some commenters know this. I have observed that the less fluent someone is in the intricacies of Christianity the more likely they are to quote Bible verses. (proof texting) Mature, well educated Christians understand the problems I have with Christianity. While they still choose to believe, they understand why I don’t.  They may WISH I would return to Christianity but they understand that quoting Bible verses will not facilitate that return.

Preaching

Some Christians take to preaching in the comments. They view the readers of this blog and yours truly as a captive audience so they quote a few verses and preach away. They are not interested in interaction or understanding. They are only interested in getting a good word in for Jesus.

Sometimes, they aren’t really preaching to the me as much as they are preaching to themselves. Perhaps my writing troubles them. They wonder, “If a well-educated, seasoned pastor like Bruce can fall from the faith, so can anyone one!”  Very true, however, rather than carefully considering what I write and its implications, they circle the wagons and defend the home turf.  This is a normal response. We all do it when our sincerely-held beliefs and convictions are challenged.

Preaching may make the preacher feel good and it may reinforce their need to be right but it has a negative effect on people like me. Atheists and nonbelievers likely have heard enough preaching to last them a lifetime. I have preached thousands of sermons and heard thousands more. Lest you doubt the math……consider 50 years x 3 times a week + Sunday school, revivals, special meetings, pastor’s conferences, street meetings, nursing home services, and chapel services. I have preached and heard more sermons than the average Methodist or Episcopalian hears in 5 lifetimes.

Preaching doesn’t work but it seems that a lot of Christians like to hear themselves talk or read their own sermons. So preach away, dear Christian but understand, that to me and many atheists, your words are like sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. (1 Corinthians 11) They are just noise.

Ignoring Questions

Bible verse regurgitators and sermon preachers seem to have no time for questions. They are focused on whatever their objective is and can not be bothered with questions.  Recently, a commenter has been droning endlessly about law and grace. He has been asked several questions, yet he never answers them. It seems he expects everyone to just accept his theological pronouncements, even if they show a lack of nuance and understanding about the text of the Bible. He is above the questions of lowly atheists and nonbelievers. (even if his comments show a definite lack of understanding Christian doctrine)

Granted, I do not ask questions because I don’t know. I ask questions in hopes of getting the Christian commenter to think more deeply about their beliefs. Of course many Christian commenters are certain that what they belief is THE TRUTH, the ONLY TRUTH, so help them the triune God of the Christian Bible. They are absolutely certain that their interpretation of the Bible is absolutely correct. They expect people to bow in submission to their interpretation. Questions? When in the presence of certainty questions are not needed. Just believe!

Ignoring Educational and Professional Background

One of my favorite commenters is the one that only reads one blog post. Often, they come to the Fallen From Grace blog via a Google search. One recent commenter came to this blog via a Google search of “Todd Burpo Did Jesus have Wings?” I am not kidding. This same person then proceeds to argue Christian doctrine with me and tell me how ignorant I am of the Bible. Any person having to Google, Did Jesus Have Wings ought never to open their mouth about the teachings of Christianity.

Many of the prominent atheists on the internet were former Christian pastors or educators. Many of us spent decades studying the Bible. We spent countless hours reading books and dissecting the Greek and Hebrew text. We took seriously our calling and devoted our lives to knowing the Bible inside and out.  Like a doctor, lawyer or any other professional we knew our craft well.

Why is it then that little respect is paid to us? Why is it every Christian armed with a Strong’s Concordance and a Bible software program thinks they are an expert on what the Bible teaches?  Evidently, when we deconverted all our knowledge disappeared.

One recent commenter quoted Andrew Murray and then proceeded to tell me he was a non-Christian writer. Sigh…. She was trying to give secular proof of the existence of Jesus and her proof was 19th century Christian author Andrew Murray. Never mind that I have read most of what Andrew Murray wrote……I am ignorant and closed minded because I didn’t accept her no-proof proof.

Regardless of what disagreement I may have with a person, I respect those who work hard at knowing their craft well. I know that becoming proficient at anything requires hard work. Excelling requires total commitment to the craft.

While I can’t stop Christian commenters from disparaging and ignoring my 50 years in the Christian church, my education, and 25 years in the ministry, they should know that this approach causes me to shut my ears. If you don’t respect me why should I listen to one word you say or write?

Calling Names

This is a no-brainer. Calling names is a definite show-stopper. Yes, I know I have called people names a time or two. Yes, I know there are some well-known atheists who are quite proficient at name calling. Surely your mother taught you that just because someone else does something does mean it is a good idea for you to do the same.

Being told I am ignorant, a fool, an idiot, etc. causes me to stop listening to anything the epithet hurler has to say. Once again, it is about respect.

When I call names it is because I am angry, offended, pissed off, want to retaliate, or lack a good response. When I call names I am  reducing myself to level of my word-challenged critics. I must constantly guard against telling some commenters that they are brain-dead, illiterate, married to their sister dumb fucks. 

I see name calling as a coarse, degrading way of conversation. It rarely accomplishes anything. Sadly, some Christian commenters don’t see it this way. I wonder what Jesus would think of their name calling?

Some commenters think of themselves as prophets, called of God to speak truth to degenerate, atheist,Christ-haters like me. They see themselves as modern day speakers of truth, just like the prophets and apostles, and men of God of old. (sorry women really should keep silent in the comments) Smile  They think they are above the unwashed uncircumcised Philistines that frequent this blog so they can say whatever they want.

Invitations for Breakfast, lunch, or dinner

I like eating out. I like fellowshipping with other people. That said, eating out is not a time to debate over Christianity or atheism. Eating out is a time for good food, lame jokes, reflections on the past,and having fun. Eating out is meant to be free from dick measuring. (sizing each other up) As a home-bound disabled person, I look forward to going out to eat. This Saturday Polly and I are going to Toledo to shop and we plan to eat at Famous Dave’s while we are there. It is only Wednesday and I am already exited about our trip to the big city. I love spending time with Polly, eating good food, and spending money.

So, I ask you WHY would I want to share a meal with a Christian, a pastor, a “concerned” follower of Jesus? If they can read, my blog tells them everything they need to know about me. What will eating a meal together accomplish?

Listen, I understand their motivation. They refuse to accept that I left Christianity for intellectual reasons. They are certain there is some underlying emotional issue. Perhaps I am burned out or I have been hurt. They think if they just befriend me they can win me back to Jesus. They think if they are nice to me they can show me the “good” Jesus and I will then come running back to the fold.

While I will readily admit that there is an emotional component to my defection from the faith, the bottom line reason is an intellectual one. I don’t believe the Bible is truth. That’s it. End of story. No matter how friendly a Christian might be it is not going to change my beliefs about God, Jesus, and the Bible.

Dear Christian, you want to be my friend? Do you want to wine and dine me at McDonalds? Smile  Can you do this without ever bringing up Christianity or my atheism? (unless we mutually agree to talk about it) Can you do this without psychoanalyzing my past? Can you focus on the here-and-now rather than the sweet-by-and-by? Can you respect me as I am, where am? Can you respect why I am an atheist?

Before you answer YES……..consider that many have walked the path to my door before you. They all said YES, but over time the simply could not repress their native need to speak a good word for Jesus or to try and nudge, pull, or drive me back to Christianity. Maybe, you are different. I doubt it……but maybe. Knowing now what I have experienced in the past, you’ll forgive me if I don’t trust any Christian, especially a pastor, who says, “I want to be your friend.”  I am like the woman who has been married five times…When a Christian says “let’s be friends” I am immediately wary.

What else could be added to this post? What do Christians do that immediately turns you off or causes you to stop listening?

The Lord Told Me, A Few Thoughts on God Speaking to People

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(repost)

God said to me…

God spoke to me….

The Lord is leading….

Statements like these are common, every day statements made by millions of Christians. They sincerely believe God (the Lord, Jesus) talks to them.

Sometimes the Lord speaks to Christians audibly, though most often the Lord speaks to their heart.

When Christians say that the Lord is speaking to their hearts what do they mean? What is the heart? Where is the heart found?

Most Christians believe that a human being is made up of a body/soul/spirit. Some Christians believe that a human being is made up of a body and sprit. When they speak of the heart they are talking about the innermost part of a human being, the place were the will is found. (the heart being the essence of who and what you are)

The heart is given a mystical quality, with many Christians unsure of exactly what the heart is. I have heard countless preachers warn people about making a head rather than heart profession. Many people will miss heaven because they made a head profession rather than a heart profession, or so they say.

The Bible is fairly clear about the heart. As a man thinketh in his heart so is he, the Bible says. Countless verses show very clearly that when the Bible talks about the heart it is talking about the mind. (and I am aware that not every verse that uses the word heart can be interpreted this way)

When a person decides to become a Christian they make an intellectual decision to believe the Christian gospel.  They “believe in their heart” that the gospel message us true.

Of course Christians, like all of us, are emotional beings. Every day our emotions influence the decisions we make. There is no such thing as making an emotion-free decision. Most people understand this but the Christian is often told that emotions can deceive a person and they should never be relied upon.

There is some truth to the notion  that emotions can, and do, cause us to do things that are against our best interest or harmful to others. Prisons are filled with people who, in a moment of extreme emotion, hurt or killed someone else. That said, without emotions rarely would human beings rise to the occasion and do anything of meaningful value. Emotions are the fuel by which great things are accomplished.

The next time a Christian says to you that God is speaking to them, leading them, etc ask them to explain what they mean. How do they know it God leading/directing/speaking? 

Most often a Christian will say I just KNOW. Many Christians will couch their God interaction in Bible verses and theological justifications. They are told that emotions can lead them astray and that they must ever “trust” their emotions so they attempt to give “biblical” justification for God speaking to them, leading them, etc.

Regardless of Christians suggesting otherwise, God leading, God speaking is an emotional experience.There is no empirical proof to the contrary. None. When a person says God told me to _______________, what proof do they have that it was God speaking to them?

We all have stories of emotional experiences we could tell. I had many, many emotional experiences when I was a Christian. I remember “God” coming upon me and leading me to preach a particular sermon or “God” leading me to have the church do this or that. I have sat in countless services and “felt” the presence of God.  I just KNEW God was in our midst. I have been in services where it was evident that the room was thick with God’s presence. I have preached sermons that God used in mighty ways, with countless people professing faith in Christ or getting right with God.

Were these emotional experiences  real? Sure they were. Not the God “speaking” aspect of it, but the emotional experiences themselves were real.  That’s the nature of emotional experiences. I don’t criticize the emotional experiences of others as long as they don’t use those experiences to “prove” there is a God. (or prove anything else for that matter)

Since emotional experiences cannot be proved they have no value in the God debate. As an atheist I have emotional experiences quite often. Watch a movie .Listen to a song. Go to a place that brings back fond memories. Read a book. Sit in the yard and watch the wildlife. Observe my grandkids playing. The list is endless. All of these things can, and do,elicit an emotional response. from me. I desire and even want to make an emotional connection with the things that make up my wife but I do not make a huge leap in logic and think that when I have an emotional experience that it is God speaking to me. Emotional experiences remind me I am alive, however they do not speak to whether or not God exists.

The A Word

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(repost)

Not THAT A word.

This one…

Atheist.

Richard Dawkins writes:

Let us consider the appropriateness or otherwise of someone (call him ‘Philo’) describing himself as a theist, atheist or agnostic. I would suggest that if Philo estimates the various plausibilities to be such that on the evidence before him the probability of theism comes out near to one he should describe himself as a theist and if it comes out near zero he should call himself an atheist, and if it comes out somewhere in the middle he should call himself an agnostic. There are no strict rules about this classification because the borderlines are vague. If need be, like a middle-aged man who is not sure whether to call himself bald or not bald, he should explain himself more fully

For a long time I labeled myself as an agnostic.  Agnostic was a safe word for me. A good place to hide and heal.

People, particularly Christian people, were willing to give me some space, the benefit of the doubt , when I said I was an agnostic. Perhaps they thought agnosticism was just a temporary state. Perhaps they thought I was riding the fence and would, in time, come back to them.

It is time for me to come out of hiding and own up to the truth that I am an atheist.

Practically, I live my day to day life as an atheist. (but then so do many Christians) I don’t pray to a deity. I don’t study a religious text. I don’t check in with God before I do something. I live my life in such a way that God never enters the picture.

Richard Dawkins aptly describes my view:

I cannot know for certain but I think God is very improbable, and I live my life on the assumption that he is not there.

I have learned that most people misunderstand atheism.  They think atheism is akin to Satan worship. Oh my God, you don’t believe in God! Smile    For some reason people believe the worst about atheists.  They have no reason to so so.  Atheists are like many groups of people, diverse and resistant to stereotype.

For me, the God question is about probabilities. Can I state with certainty there is no God? (using the word God in a generic sense) Of course not. But, I can not make an absolute statement about anything. I don’t possess complete, absolute knowledge of anything.  Even if there was proof of the existence of a god how would I determine which god is the real God? Humans believe in a plethora of gods. Which god is the true God?

Atheists are skeptics. Claims of certainty, like the claims of Christianity, are viewed with suspicion. The Atheist says “prove it.” Appeals to faith or the supernatural have no effect on atheists.

When I told people I was an agnostic I often had to explain what that meant. By labeling myself as an atheist I no longer have to explain myself. When I say I am an atheist people know I don’t believe in God. Of course, calling myself an atheist brings a whole new set of cultural and social problems that I have to deal with.

I am the same Bruce, just with a different label.

A Tour Around the Yard May 10, 2012

Today I took a tour around the yard for a few moments. The wind was blowing and this made picture taking difficult. Then I got winded and that made things difficult too. Smile The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

I love the variety of colors that are on display in our yard. Every year we add more perennial plants, bushes, and trees. We also plant wildflowers every Spring. Over the past 5 years the birds and wind have spread seeds everywhere and we have volunteers growing all over the yard. Bachelor Buttons and Holly Hocks are found in more places we DIDN’T plant them than where we did.

I will label these pictures when Polly comes home tonight. These days, I have a hard time remembering the names of everything we have planted.

flowers yard 2012

Sweet William

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Shasta Daisy

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Iris

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Japanese Iris

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Wildflower of some sort

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Chives

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Blackberry Bush. Year Three. We should have a lot of berries this year.

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Wildflower of some sort.

The New Normal

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If you have a strong body and good health you are indeed blessed.

I remember a day when I had good health and a strong body.

I remember being able to do whatever I wanted to do.

I remember hours spent playing basketball or softball.

I remember playing tackle football after church.

I remember walking for hours in the woods hunting deer, rabbits, or squirrels.

I remember hiking in the Huachuca Mountains.

I remember hiking to the top of Miller Peak.

I remember working long hours, with little sleep, and getting up and doing it all over again. And doing this for days and weeks on end.

I remember what it is to be a man’s man.

But, that is all I have these days……..just memories of a life that once was, a life I will never, ever have again.

Usually, at this point, someone is thinking, “I wonder if he has tried______________?”

Whatever you were going to put in the blank space, I have tried it. Diets. Foods. Drugs. Supplements. Tests.

Been there, done that.

I know you care and that’s why you send me the “new” information you have found. I know you want me to be in good health again.

But, it is not to be.

There is no fixing me.

God didn’t fix me, prayer didn’t fix me, and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put Bruce’s body back together again.

Life becomes one, slow, painful slide towards death.

Sometimes, I get periods of time where life flattens out. No new problems to deal with, no new adversity to fight.

These times become what I call The New Normal.

18 months ago, my right elbow started swelling and hurting. I went to the orthopedic doctor and he gave me a cortisone shot. The elbow problem went away.

About 9 months ago, my left elbow started swelling and hurting. I went to the orthopedic doctor just like before but this time the cortisone shot only lasted for a while and then the elbow began swelling and hurting again.

There isn’t anything structurally wrong with my left elbow. It just swells and hurts. It has been this way for months now.

My left elbow problem becomes a part of The New Normal.

Just one more thing to add to a long list of things I must deal with every day.

Think this is no big deal?

Add to the elbow problem, swollen and painful hands. Add to this chronic, never-far-from-me, lower back pain.

Then………think about wiping your ass.

A simple bodily function, yet it requires me to grit me teeth to stand the pain as  I try to do what billions of people do every day.

The New Normal.

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Family and friends rarely inquire these days about how I am doing. I understand. They see me handling The New Normal so they assume I am doing just fine. They have their own lives to live, their own problems.

Those of us who life which chronic illness and disability often feel like we are just another piece of furniture. While everyone else is busy living life to its fullest, we just try to get by til tomorrow. They get so used to use being right where we are that they forget about us. Often, we become invisible to those we love the most.

I have no answers to this problem. I don’t fault my family and friends. I have very little to offer them these days. I don’t contribute like they do. I am just taking up space.  In the busy-ness of life family and friends assume that I will be here tomorrow. Just like every other day. I am right where I always am. A life that pretty much covers the distance from the bedroom, to the bathroom, to the Man Cave, and to the living room.

If I feel up to it  my world expands to the yard or a short drive to a nearby town to shop or eat. These trips become harder and harder to do. When you can’t drive you have to rely on others to take you here and there and let’s face it………they have a life too. So…….for the most part, I suffer in quietness and loneliness. Maybe I should have been a hermit.

This is my New Normal.

I have no power to change any of this. All I can do is adjust to my New Normal.

One of the hardest things for someone with a chronic illness to do is to embrace their reality. We remember a past when things were different. We remember a different life. In many ways, chronic, debilitating illness has made us into a different person. Whoever we were before is long gone. We must accept who we are NOW.

Often, the great struggle is not with pain or lack of mobility. The biggest battleground is the mind. With our mind we can bring up memories of the past. With our mind we can survey the present. With our mind we can gaze into the future. Often, despair sets in.

It should come as no surprise that many people who have chronic, debilitating illness see a counselor on a regular basis. The mental toll such illness brings is overwhelming. Struggles over meaning and purpose become matters of life and death. The counselor often becomes the firewall between the sick person and the gun or pills. I know that is how it is for me.

For you who are healthy and full of vim and vigor this post probably sounds defeatist or even whiny. “I should be glad I am alive or that I have a spouse and children who love me,” some might say.

I wouldn’t argue these points but I do wonder how they might respond to life if they had to walk in my shoes for awhile?

Imagine losing your strength and vitality. Imagine losing the capacity to work and do things that give your life meaning and purpose. Imagine there never being a day or moment that you are not in pain. Imagine your life being reduced to sitting in a recliner and watching TV hours on end. Imagine not being able to drive and having to be driven everywhere you go. Imagine a life of walking with a cane or being wheeled around in a wheelchair. Imagine this is your life day in and day out. Imagine going to sleep only to wake up and start it all over again.

This is my New Normal.

I write this post not as a complaint or an attempt to elicit sympathy or understanding. I write this post to give voice to my fellow sufferers. I write so they can know that there is someone else who understands. Perhaps, united in our suffering, we will find the necessary strength to make it another day.

Pictures: Bitstrips and Lisa Copen

Magazines For Skeptics, Humanists, Agnostics and Atheists

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I subscribe to several magazines that are sympathetic to a non-theist/humanist worldview. I heartily recommend these magazines to you.

humanist

The Humanist applies Humanism—a naturalistic and democratic outlook informed by science, inspired by art, and motivated by compassion—to broad areas of social and personal concern. In pursuit of alternative ideas, the Humanist airs opinions that may not necessarily reflect those of the editors or the publisher, the American Humanist Association.

The American Humanist Association, is a membership organization established in 1941 as successor to the Humanist Press Association, which was established in 1935, which was itself successor to the Humanist Fellowship organized at the University of Chicago in 1927. The AHA is a founding member of the International Humanist and Ethical Union.

With a distinguished cadre of feature writers covering everything from science and religion to politics and popular culture, and with a wide-ranging list of stellar contributors, the Humanist continues to challenge its readers with insightful ethical critique and commentary on the central issues of our time.  Subscribe here   19.95 yr.

new_humanist

New Humanist is the London based magazine of the Rationalist Association, promoting reason, debate and free thought since 1885.

New Humanist magazine is one of the world’s oldest continuously published magazines (starting life as The Literary Review in 1885). During that time New Humanist has distinguished itself as a world leader in supporting and promoting humanism and rational inquiry and opposing religious dogma, irrationalism and bunkum wherever it is found. Subscribe here 37.00 yr.

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The mission of the Council for Secular Humanism is to advocate and defend a nonreligious lifestance rooted in science, naturalistic philosophy, and humanist ethics and to serve and support adherents of that lifestance.

The Council is North America’s leading organization for non-religious people. A not-for-profit educational corporation, the Council supports a wide range of activities to meet the needs of people who find meaning and value in life without looking to a religion. Its activities range from magazine publishing and campaigning on ethical issues to holding conferences and supporting a network of autonomous local groups.

Secular humanists reject supernatural and authoritarian beliefs. They affirm that we must take responsibility for our own lives and the communities and world in which we live. Secular humanism emphasizes reason and scientific inquiry, individual freedom and responsibility, human values and compassion, and the need for tolerance and cooperation. Subscribe here 24.95 yr.

skeptical

The Committee for Skeptical Inquiry encourages the critical investigation of paranormal and fringe-science claims from a responsible, scientific point of view and disseminates factual information about the results of such inquiries to the scientific community and the public. It also promotes science and scientific inquiry, critical thinking, science education, and the use of reason in examining important issues.

Some of the founding members of CSI include scientists, academics, and science writers such as Carl Sagan, Isaac Asimov, Philip Klass, Paul Kurtz, Ray Hyman, James Randi, Martin Gardner, Sidney Hook, and others. A list of CSI fellows is published in every issue of Skeptical Inquirer magazine. Subscribe here  19.95 yr.

skeptic redesign

Since 1992, the Skeptics Society has published Skeptic, a quarterly journal that examines a wide variety of social, scientific, and pseudoscientific controversies. Our contributors are top experts in their fields, making Skeptic a respected academic voice. The magazine has been called “stimulating and provocative” by Carl Sagan, “clearly superior … gutsy” by Edward O. Wilson, and “the best journal in the field” by Stephen Jay Gould. Subscribe here 30.00 yr.

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The Freedom From Religion Foundation, Inc., is an educational group working for the separation of state and church. Its purposes, as stated in its bylaws, are to promote the constitutional principle of separation of state and church, and to educate the public on matters relating to nontheism.

Incorporated in 1978 in Wisconsin, the Foundation is a national membership association of freethinkers: atheists, agnostics and skeptics of any pedigree. Subscribe here  20.00 yr.

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State was founded in 1947 by a broad coalition of religious, educational and civic leaders. At that time, proposals were pending in the U.S. Congress to extend government aid to private religious schools. Many Americans opposed this idea, insisting that government support for religious education would violate church-state separation. The decision was made to form a national organization to promote this point of view and defend the separation principle.

Americans United believes that all Americans have the constitutional right to practice the religion of their choice (or refrain from taking part in religion) as individual conscience dictates. The government must remain neutral on religious questions. This has been a guiding principle of Americans United since the organization was founded. Subscribe here  25.00 yr.

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American Atheists is an organization in the United States dedicated to defending the civil liberties of atheists and advocating for the complete separation of church and state. It provides speakers for colleges, universities, clubs and the news media. It also publishes books and the quarterly American Atheist Magazine, currently edited by Pamela Wessel. The organization was founded by Madalyn Murray O’Hair.
Subscribe here. 20.00 yr. if you are a member of American Atheists.

*all text taken from respective magazine websites

What About Your Children?

(repost from 1/24/2011)

One of the questions I am asked most often is “what about your children?”

I have six children, ranging in age from almost 33 to almost 19.  4 boys, 2 girls.

They grew as preacher’s kids. Their father, for almost their entire lives, was a pastor. They heard most every sermon their Dad ever preached, They  attended more Church services than most people attend in 5 lifetimes.

They were the unpaid staff of the Church. They mowed the grassed, mopped the floors and did pretty much everything that needed done.

They have seen the best and the worst of the Christian Church. They have been amused and abused, and most certainly never excused.

They lived in a glass house.

They did without so the Church could do with.

They watched their Dad and Mom  work themselves to death for sake of the call.

They did  without when it seemed no one else was.

They experienced all the good and bad the Church could offer.

And then one day……..their preacher father stopped preaching.

At first they thought it was just a temporary stoppage.

Surely Dad will find another Church to pastor.

They could not envision their Dad not pastoring a Church.

In their life, Dad was always a pastor.

When  Dad accepted the pastorate of a Southern Baptist Church in Michigan, the three oldest stayed behind.

For the first time the family was separated.

This began a process of learning to be free, learning to make decisions without the Holy Spirit (also known as Dad) telling them what us do.

There came a point where Dad not pastoring and the freedom to make our own decisions crossed paths.

Where do we go from here?

Three of us married and the youngest three still lived with Dad and Mom.

Mom and Dad stopped going to Church.

Mom and Dad stopped talking about Church all the time.

Mom and Dad started living life different than they had in the “good old days.”

No sermons. No Bible readings. No prayers.

No Christian books. No G rated movies. No Christian this or Christian that.

Yet, they were still Mom and Dad.

They still loved us

Dad said a curse word.

Mom said a curse word.

Dad said a lot of curse words.

Mom frowned.

Did you know Mom and Dad watched an R rated movie?

Dad admitted watching porn.

Did you know Dad believes in Evolution?

He even told us some stories about the what really went on behind the scenes in the ministry. Really? That really happened?

Dad no longer consulted the Bible when deciding what to do on a given matter.

Dad talked a lot more about reason and common sense.

Dad said he no longer believed the Bible to be true.

Dad not believing the Bible? That can not be true.

But it is.

He gave some of us Bart Ehrman’s books to read.

Dad sent the LETTER to family and friends.

What happened? Why have most of Dad and Mom’s friends walked away from them?

Those selfish ingrates. After all Mom and Dad did for them.

Dad actually watched the Super Bowl.

Dad struggles with health problems.

He is in pain all the time.

So much for being rewarded for doing God’s work.

Did you know Dad is seeing a counselor?

Wow, that’s a pretty big step for him.

All of a sudden we can be ourselves around Dad and Mom.

No judgment. No finger pointing.

Dad and Mom voted for Obama!

Dad thinks gays should be allowed to marry.

The roof did NOT fall in on Dad. Maybe God is not a Republican after all.

Dad still likes to be the CEO, the Potentate, the boss-man. After all he is Dad.

Free.

Free to be our own person.

Free to live life on our own terms.

Free to worship or not worship.

Dad and Mom love us, no strings attached.

This hasn’t been easy.

It seems everyone and everything is in a state of flux.

Dad made a scene during Thanksgiving over prayer before the meal.

He’s right, but it upset some of us.

It seems with freedom comes conflict.

It is a lot easier to talk to Dad now.

No rules.

No preaching at us.

Instead, he talks TO us.

Dad has apologized over and over for the whippings and belittling.

Dad has apologized for not letting us play sports or do the things all the other kids got to do.

He can stop apologizing now.

He is forgiven.

Dad still hates that one of us rides a motorcycle.

He told one of us today they He and Mom would raise our kids if we got killed.

That’s Dad.

In many ways we are more of a family today than we ever were before.

Some of us are still Christians, though none of us are Fundamentalists.

Some of us are not.

Some of us are “hell if I know what I am.”

This Friday we will have dinner at Dad and Mom’s home.

It is Good Friday.

But it will not be a Good Friday in the religious sense.

It will be a Good Friday because we have one another and that makes every day good.

(this post comes from numerous conversations I have had with my children.  I hope I have represented them accurately.)