I am sure you have been exposed to this kind of thinking or maybe you used it yourself when you were a Christian…I love you so much that I MUST tell you the truth. Truth, of course meaning a person’s interpretation of the Christian Bible.
People who think this way believe that truly loving someone means telling them the truth even when the person doesn’t want to hear it or the “truth” would be offensive.
Many Christians think they have a God-ordained right to offend people as long they say they are doing it in love.
Imagine trying this with your wife. Honey, I love you and because I love you I must tell you what I really think about you. You are a fat bitch who can’t cook and, btw, the sex is lousy. How do you think that would go over with your wife? (after you got out of the hospital)
This is exactly how many Christians act towards people they think are doing things that God and the Bible disapprove of. When challenged on this, they will often say, I am just saying what God said.
They seem to be the oblivious to the fact that when they say , you are an abomination because __________________________________________ ,(fill in appropriate sin and Bible proof text) the person they are saying this to takes it quite personally. They don’t think God thinks of them that way. They think the person making the statement does.
Let me illustrate it like this. Suppose you are talking a walk in the woods and all of a sudden you stumble upon a skunk. Before you can run backwards, the skunk raises its tail and sprays you. You run away from the skunk but the skunk’s smell covers your skin and clothing.
Do you say, oh I love the skunk but hate his smell? Of course not. The skunk and its smell are intricately linked. If the Christian is consistent with their theology they must conclude that the sinner is intricately linked to his sin. Who does the sinning? The sinner does.
Of course, I know why some Christians take the, love the sinner, hate sin position. They don’t want to be thought of as judgmental or hateful. Like most humans and dogs, they want to be liked by everyone.
But, trust me, when a Christian says, you are an abomination because _______________________, the person they are saying this to takes it personally. (and they should)
With these thoughts in mind, let me post a letter a former lesbian turned Christian wrote to women who are still lesbians. This letter can be found on John Piper’s, Desiring God website.
I just want you to know that I understand.
I understand how it feels to be in love with a woman. To want nothing more than to be with her forever. Feeling as if the universe has played a cruel joke on your heart by allowing it to fall into the hands of a creature that looks just like you.
I too was a lesbian. I had same-sex attractions as early as five-years old. As I grew up, those feelings never subsided. They only grew. I would find myself having crushes on my female best friends, but I was far too ashamed to admit it to them — let alone to myself.
At the age of 17, I finally made the decision to pursue these desires. I entered into a relationship with a young lady who became my “first.” The first time we kissed, it felt extremely natural, as if this feeling is what I had been missing all along. After her came another woman and then another woman. Both relationships were very serious, each lasting over a year. I enjoyed these relationships and loved these women a lot. And it came to the point that I was willing to forsake all, including my soul, to enjoy their love on earth.
In October 2008, at the age of 19, my superficial reality was shaken up by a deeper love — one from the outside, one that I’d heard of before but never experienced. For the first time, I was convicted of my sin in a way that made me consider everything I loved (idolized), and its consequences. I looked at my life, and saw that I had been in love with everything except God, and these decisions would ultimately be the death of me, eternally. My eyes were opened, and I began to believe everything God says in his word. I began to believe that what he says about sin, death, and hell were completely true.
And amazingly, at the same time that the penalty of my sin became true to me, so did the preciousness of the cross. A vision of God’s Son crucified, bearing the wrath I deserved, and an empty tomb displaying his power over death — all things I had heard before without any interest had become the most glorious revelation of love imaginable.
After realizing all of what I would have to give up, I said to God, “I cannot let these things or people go on my own. I love them too much. But I know you are good and strong enough to help me.”
Now, at the age of 23, I can say with all honesty that God has done just that. He has helped me love him more than anything.
Now why did I just tell you about this? I gave you a glimpse of my story because I want you to understand that I understand. But I also want you to know that I also understand how it feels to be in love with the Creator of the universe. To want nothing more than to be with him forever. To feel his grace, the best news ever announced to mankind. To see his forgiveness, that he would take such a wicked heart into his hands of mercy.
But with that in mind, we’re in a culture where stories like mine either seem impossible or hilarious, depending on the audience. Homosexuality is everywhere — from music, to TV, even sports. If you’d believe all that society had to say about homosexuality, you’d come to the conclusion that it is completely normal, even somewhat admirable. But that is far from the truth. God tells us that homosexuality is sinful, abominable, and unnatural (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:18–32; 1 Corinthians 6:9–11; 1 Timothy 1:8–10). But if I were to be honest, sometimes homosexual attractions can seem natural to me.
I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that this may be your dilemma as well. You see what God has to say about homosexuality, but your heart doesn’t utter the same sentiments. God’s word says it’s sinful; your heart says it feels right. God’s word says it’s abominable; your heart says it’s delightful. God’s word says it’s unnatural; your heart says it’s totally normal. Do you see that there is a clear divide between what God’s word says and how your heart feels?
So which voice should you believe?
There was a time in my walk with Christ where I experienced a lot of temptation about falling back into lesbianism. These temptations caused me to doubt God’s word. My temptations and desires began to become more real to me than the truth of the Bible. As I was praying and meditating on these things, God put this impression on my heart: “Jackie, you have to believe that my word is true even if it contradicts how you feel.” Wow! This is right. Either I trust in his word or I trust my own feelings. Either I look to him for the pleasure my soul craves or I search for it in lesser things. Either I walk in obedience to what he says or I reject his truth as if it were a lie.
The struggle with homosexuality is a battle of faith. Is God my joy? Is he good enough? Or am I still looking to broken cisterns to quench a thirst only he can satisfy? That is the battle. It is for me, and it is for you.
The choice is yours, my friend. I pray you put your faith in Christ and flee from the lies of our society that coincide with the voices of your heart — a heart that Scripture says is wicked and deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9). Run to Jesus instead.
You were made for him (Romans 11:36). He is ultimately all that you need! He is good and wise (Psalm 145:9). He is the source of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3). He is kind and patient (2 Peter 3:9). He is righteous and faithful (Psalm 33:4). He is holy and just (1 John 1:9). He is our true King (Psalm 47:7). He is our Savior (Jude 1:25). And he is inviting you to be not just his servant, but also his friend. If lasting love is what you’re looking for anywhere else, you are chasing the wind, seeking what you will never find, slowly being destroyed by your pursuit.
But in Jesus, there is fullness of joy. In Jesus, there is a relationship worth everything, because he is everything. Run to him.
So what do you think of Hill’s letter? Please leave your pithy observations in the comment section.