According to Annie Lobert, founder of the group Hookers for Jesus, women are putting their love, hope, desire, and need in the wrong place. The only person who can give women all they could ever want from a relationship is Jesus.
“What us women need to understand [is] if a man can’t do what you ideally think he should do, [it is because] God is the only one who can do that for you. Jesus Christ is the only one who can ultimately be your ultimate romantic interest and I’m not talking about sexually. I’m talking about that intimate love bond that we have that heals all wounds, that heals all insecurities, that heals all the things that we think our husbands should do and be…”
“My prince was Jesus Christ. I said that in the book, it was Jesus Christ, that was my knight in shining armor and I didn’t know it.”
We poor men don’t stand a chance.
On second thought, maybe we do. What kind of man was Jesus? Was he a man whom women would love to be in a relationship with? When Jesus walked into a bar or club, did everyone’s eyes turn towards him? Did women think, wonder what Jesus looks like under his tunic? Was Jesus THE man that every woman longed for?
Jesus was a single man born out-of-wedlock. He grew up in a carpenters home in a squalid village. As a 12-year-old, Jesus disrespected his parents and ran off and later in life he publicly disrespected his mother when she asked him to get some wine from the fridge. Jesus spent most of his life traveling with a group of men. Dare we imagine how many fart jokes were told by Jesus or how rarely he took a bath, shaved, or used Giorgio Armani cologne? While there were women who traveled with Jesus from time to time, we don’t know if he ever had sex with one of them. Perhaps, as some suggest, Jesus was gay.
The Bible doesn’t tell us how the adult Jesus made a living. Did he work for a living or did he sponge off the people who traveled with him? He owned no property and had no house he called home. When a man expressed interest in traveling with Jesus but wanted to wait a couple of days so he could bury his father, Jesus told him to forget about the funeral and follow him.
And I could go on…the gospels paint a less than flattering picture of Jesus. Once you strip away the supernatural and fantasy from the story, what you are left with is a very ordinary man whom many women would not view as the ideal catch. Jesus was hardly the man above all men with whom every woman would want to have a relationship.
Lobert fails to realize that she actually makes life more complex for Christian women with her “Jesus Christ is the only one who can ultimately be your ultimate romantic interest” thinking. This fictitious, romanticized Jesus is the gold standard women are told they should measure their relationships by. When compared to the human Jesus, many men fare quite well. But, the fictitious, romantic, gives-me-an-orgasm-every-time-I-pray Jesus? No man can measure up.
The good news for men is that Lobert’s Jesus is a fiction of her imagination. If a woman wants a relationship with a man, we’re it.