Hey Girlfriend, Jesus is Way More Muscular than Your Boyfriend

Here’s the latest from Paula Hendricks, a writer for the Lies Young Women Believe

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According to Hendricks, big biceps come from Jesus and no matter how big a man’s muscles are, Jesus’s muscles are b-i-g-g-e-r. Jesus has bigger muscles than Arnold Schwarzenegger. However, when Arnold said, I’ll be back, he kept his word. Jesus? 2,000 years later, we are still waiting.

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6 Comments

  1. Jada

    I do love my husband’s arms; but, you know, a huge part of that is because I can actually *touch* them. Which I cannot do with an imaginary figure’s arms. Just sayin’.

    Reply
  2. Steve

    Ouch!! (Both Bruce & Jada, lol:)

    Reply
  3. Connie

    I have the hardest time listening to this lady. To me she sounds like a salesperson who really needs me to buy their product even though it’s not in my best interest. It is as if she can’t get to heaven unless she has a collection of souls on her belt.

    So – logic fail on God creating everything with no energy at all. Even magic has an energy transfer in the recipe. But then Jesus has to have muscles to deal with three things because why? He has to be more muscular than a human?

    So glad I’m a Quantum Activist. Laws of physics make sense, thank you very much.

    Connie in Denver

    Oh – read other posts before landing here. Glad you all are still up and as well as can be expected. C

    Reply
    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      My assessment is much cruder than yours. 🙂 I think this woman needs to get laid. That will fix things. 🙂

      Her voice and presentation has a cultic ring to it, like a bunch of girls whispering to each other during a sleepover.

      Reply
  4. Heather

    She is simply unbearable. Reminds me of how I remember people talking at PCC. Ugh.

    Reply
  5. Monty

    So I’m waiting for a skit where Jesus imitates the SNL skit and says “I just want to pump *claps hands* you up!!”

    Reply

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