Warning, Snark ahead.
What’s on your nightstand?
No, I don’t mean that pile of rubber bands and bobby pins. Not the layer of dust either. (I sort of collect dust bunnies. I don’t judge). I want to know what you’re reading.
Here’s what’s on my nightstand.
The Insanity of God by Nik Ripkin. This is one of the best books I’ve read in years. It’s the only book I ever remember getting to the last page and immediately flipping back to page one and starting over again. The stories of how God is moving in countries where there is persecution (like the kind that costs believers their lives) expanded my view of Him and encouraged me to pray like crazy for Christians around the world.
The ESV Journaling Bible. This was a gift from my handsome husband. It’s beautiful, with a rich leather cover, and it has wide margins with lines for taking notes. Perfect for a Word loving, doodler like me.
Fear and Faith by Trillia Newbell. I haven’t read this one yet, but I can’t wait to. Using stories of real women, it gives a roadmap for how to find security in the Lord when we are afraid. (Which is pretty often for me!)…
Ah yes, what’s on Davis’s nightstand is two religious books and a Bible. What I want to know is what is IN Davis’s nightstand? You see, in the Evangelical world, it is all about what is on your nightstand rather than what is in your nightstand. It is all about perception, making sure that one appears to be the right kind of Christian who believes the right kind of things.
When someone walks into Davis’s bedroom, and perhaps her whole house, what one sees is the trappings of Evangelical Christianity. My wife sees this where she works. Evangelicals have their offices adorned with the latest, greatest Jesus Junk®. She can quickly tell what Christian book and author is popular by the number and name of the books found on desktops. Years back, The Purpose Driven Life and The Prayer of Jabez were on prominent display, but now offices display the latest, greatest book written by whoever Evangelicals are fawning over this week. In six or so months, signs will go up reminding passerby’s of the real meaning of Christmas or warning fellow believers about the War on Christmas. These outward demonstrations are meant to say to fellow Evangelicals: hey, over here, I am a Jesus Lover just like you! The books, wall hangings, stickers, and pictures are the Evangelical equivalent of a gang tattoo. When someone sees an open Bible on a desktop they know that that person is part of the Jesus gang.
I wonder what we would find if we began opening drawers? What do people like Erin Davis and her fellow Evangelicals keep hidden from the watchful eye of their fellow believers? I wonder if the bedroom nightstand drawer might have handcuffs, dildos, or vibrators, along with strawberry tasting lube? Perhaps it is time for Pew or Lifeway to conduct a study on what is IN the Evangelical’s nightstand. We already know what is ON the nightstand.
I suppose inquiring minds want to know what is ON my nightstand:
- UFO’s: Generals, Pilots, and Government Officials Go on the Record by Leslie Kean
- Rolling Stone magazine
- Smithsonian magazine
- Orion magazine
- Our Only World by Wendell Berry
- Get Fuzzy Collection: You Can’t Fight Crazy by Darby Conley
- Black plastic crate with blood pressure tester, glucose tester, thermometer, saline nasal spray, generic Peri-Colace, book markers, Chapstick, Vicks inhaler, eyeglass cleaner, Fluticasone Propionate (Flonase) nose spray, Sulfamethoxazole antibiotic (Bactrim), Temazapam (Restoril), and Cyclobenzaprine (Flexeril).
And IN the nightstand?:
- TENS unit
- Dish remote control
- Universal remote control
- Bluetooth headphones and charger
- Proctozone-HC 2.5%
- Meijer Muscle Ultra-Cream (Bengay Ultra Strength)
Now, what’s in other drawers? I’ll never tell.