Good News! If You Go to Hell, Here’s How You Can Get Out

get out of hell free card

According to Evangelical commenters and preachers, I will end up in hell some day because of my unwillingness to worship the Christian God. Since being told this 666,666,666 times, I have diligently scoured the universe to find a get out hell free card. Well today, thanks to a reader named Scott, I’ve found a way to escape the flames of hell. Granted, no one has ever succeeded in doing so, but since I know about this ahead of time, I can plan.

how to get out of hell

Comic by Wiley Miller of Non Sequitur


  1. Kittybrat

    I have solved it! So…. I win?

    1. Bruce Gerencser (Post author)

      When we lived in upper central Michigan we rented a home in a rugged, wooded rural gated community. Wildlife in the yard was an every hour occurrence. Squirrels? Everywhere. We fed the birds and the squirrels would clean out the feeders. We tried everything, including putting tin around the trees and covering them with grease. Nothing worked. They took to hopping from tree top to tree top to get to our feeders. Short of killing them, there was nothing we could do. So, we decided to buy extra seed and corn. 🙂

      We kept the seed in several metal cans on the porch. One night, I heard a bam, bam, bam noise. I got up and checked, finding a raccoon on the porch using his head to try to dislodge the can lid. He’d jump, bam, and do it over and over. Quite fun to watch.

      The church I was pastoring turned out to be a miserable experience, but living where we did was one of the most enjoyable times of our life. Interacting with nature, even the damn squirrels, was the highlight of our time in Clare, Michigan.

      1. Kittybrat

        See? Nature is the truest deity I’ve found so far!

  2. Becky Wiren

    666,666,666? Ha ha ha! I love that cartoonist.


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