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Bruce, the Pornographer: Why I “Really” Left the Christian Faith

this was your life

Evangelical Christian apologist William Lane Craig writes, in response to a question about doubt (link no longer active);

Be on guard for Satan’s deceptions. Never lose sight of the fact that you are involved in a spiritual warfare and that there is an enemy of your soul who hates you intensely, whose goal is your destruction, and who will stop at nothing to destroy you. Which leads me to ask: why are you reading those infidel websites anyway, when you know how destructive they are to your faith? These sites are literally pornographic (evil writing) and so ought in general to be shunned. Sure, somebody has to read them and refute them; but why does it have to be you? Let somebody else, who can handle it, do it. Remember: Doubt is not just a matter of academic debate or disinterested intellectual discussion; it involves a battle for your very soul, and if Satan can use doubt to immobilize you or destroy you, then he will.

I firmly believe, and I think the Bizarro-testimonies of those who have lost their faith and apostatized bears out, that moral and spiritual lapses are the principal cause for failure to persevere rather than intellectual doubts. But intellectual doubts become a convenient and self-flattering excuse for spiritual failure because we thereby portray ourselves as such intelligent persons rather than as moral and spiritual failures. I think that the key to victorious Christian living is not to have all your questions answered — which is probably impossible in a finite lifetime — but to learn to live successfully with unanswered questions. The key is to prevent unanswered questions from becoming destructive doubts. I believe that can be done by keeping in mind the proper ground of our knowledge of Christianity’s truth and by cultivating the ministry of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

First, Craig describes infidel websites like mine as:

  • A tool of Satan used to destroy the souls of Christians
  • Pornographic (evil writing)
  • Something that, in general, should be shunned

Craig readily admits that websites like mine can cause Christians to doubt their faith. While I have no interest in converting any Christian to atheism, I do think the tenets of Christianity and the teachings of the Bible should be carefully and fully investigated. If my writing causes a Christian to question and have doubts . . . good!

If Christianity is worth believing it will withstand any questions or doubts a believer might have. If Christianity is what it claims to be, then websites like this one will do little to no harm. Of course, I think that Christianity is NOT what it claims to be, and that is one of the reasons people are leaving the faith in droves.

Second, Craig attempts to dismiss people like me by calling our testimony of loss of faith a Bizarro-testimony (not to be believed). Craig contends we lost our faith, not for intellectual reasons, but because of spiritual or moral failure.  He believes former Christians use intellectual doubts as a cover for moral or spiritual failure. In doing this, Craig moves the focus from Christianity and the Bible to the individual. According to Craig, I am no longer a Christian because of some moral lapse or spiritual deficiency in my life.

I will leave it to Detectives for Jesus to ferret out my moral or spiritual failures. I doubt they will find much to hang me by, but I will readily admit that I, like every other Christian and pastor, had moral and spiritual failures. After all, since I STILL had a sin nature, moral and spiritual failure was sure to happen, right? That said, I have no affairs lurking in my closet, just in case someone thinks moral failure = screwing a church member.

Craig lives in a world of willing, deliberate delusion. He refuses to accept the fact that many of us, especially those of us who were once pastors, left the ministry and the Christian faith for intellectual reasons. I have written many times about this subject. The primary reason I left Christianity was that I no longer believed the Bible was the Word of God. I no longer believed the Bible was “truth.” I no longer believed that the central character of the Bible, Jesus, was who the Bible says he was (and I use the word “was” because I don’t believe Jesus “is”). (Please see the WHY page for information on why I left Christianity.)

I didn’t have a moral or spiritual collapse that led to me leaving Christianity. Instead, I decided to investigate again the claims of Christianity and its divine Holy Book. Conclusion? I weighed Christianity and the Bible in the balance and found them wanting. (Daniel 5:27)

At the end of the day, it really is all about the Bible.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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22 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Brian

    Craig said: I myself was not raised in an evangelical home, but I became a Christian my third year of high school, not through any careful consideration of the evidence, but because the Christian students who shared the Gospel with me seemed to be living on a different plane of reality than I was. Their faith in Christ imparted meaning to their lives along with a joyous peace, which I craved.
    http://www.reasonablefaith.org/faith-and-doubt#ixzz3cOxuWvT4
    This seems to say that the intellectual side of things, except perhaps the intellect as it pertains to perception of emotions, was quite at bay here. I do not think (and I am surmising here) that decisions are made regarding a life of faith/delusion on intellectual grounds first: They are of the feelings, the non-I.Q. part of us. Craig wanted to feel what those Christian kids felt, that joy (gah-gah denial haze), he wanted to escape his pain. What was Craig’s pain in childhood is the question to begin with, or so I suspect.

  2. Avatar
    mikespeir

    “I firmly believe, and I think the Bizarro-testimonies of those who have lost their faith and apostatized bears out, that moral and spiritual lapses are the principal cause for failure to persevere rather than intellectual doubts.”

    Even if that were true, why does it happen? Why would the Holy Spirit let it happen? Why would the believer himself, if the Christian religion delivered on its promises as claimed, let it happen?

  3. Avatar
    Carmen

    I don’t know, Bruce. Does WCL know nothing about human nature?? Best way in the world to encourage someone to do something is to tell them NOT to. . . 🙂

    . . and I thought it was PHOTOgrapher . . .

  4. Avatar
    Persephone

    Demons, demons everywhere! Run, run, RUN!!!

    Sorry, I just couldn’t resist. I so don’t miss those days of worrying that Satan and/or his minions were lurking around every movie, song, book, non-Christian, outside the front door, just waiting to drag me away.

  5. Avatar
    Matt Martin

    Fear, uncertainty and doubt — the time honoured tactic WLC and his kind always employ against unbelievers.

    I think what really scares the bowl-cloggers out of this mob about atheists is we offer the possibility of morality without God.

  6. Avatar
    Troy

    I was wondering if a Christian should test their faith? Searching on it I found 2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you–unless, of course, you fail the test?
    Craig, who is wrong about everything else, so it is no surprise he is wrong about the meaning of pornography. Instead the porno- etymology refers to the price paid to prostitutes.

  7. Avatar
    Ian

    No moral failure here, either. Did I fall short of the Christian ideal? Yep, all the time. But, no adultery, theft, or any of the “big ones” that seem to plague the leaders of Christianity. My children were pretty well behaved, my wife respected me and all was pretty good at home. Even now, I don’t worry about my kids sneaking out and drinking, having sex or doing drugs. (I know they’re not perfect, but they are pretty good.) How many pastors can say the same? Most preacher’s kids are hellions and cause their family grief.

    I don’t flatter myself as being intellectual. I do try to be honest, though. Honesty was what caused me to study and honesty was what caused me to leave Christianity. Most Christians won’t look at the truth because it hurts. I know, I was in the same boat. Christian intellectuals are the ones who flatter themselves that they know the answers.

    He asks, why does it have to be you (me) who reads things to refute them? It has to be me, so I actually know what I’m talking about. Everything I ever knew about atheists, while growing up, I learned from the church. And Chick Tracts. Most of it wasn’t true. I never knew any homosexual people growing up, so I assumed they were all pedophiles. Not true. In fact, most of the pedophiles I have come into contact with are “straight” white men. Those two examples prove I was lied to, over and over. Why shouldn’t I seek out the truth for myself?

    So, William Craig has no clue about me or where I came from. It wasn’t trying to answer questions that made me give up Christianity. It was trying to prove Christianity that did it. Side by side comparison without books and people telling me what to think. The Gospels fell apart and the writings of Paul went in crazy directions.

  8. Avatar
    Karen

    I think WLC is actually on to something with this business about learning to live successfully without answers, but he wouldn’t like my interpretation of it. My experience is that if you stop thrashing about on things like The Meaning Of Life — which he would insist is explained by Christianity, and only by Christianity — life acquires meaning organically. If you stop trying to find Objective Morality, but keep working on developing your compassion and understanding of humans, real morality becomes clearer. No deity required.

  9. Avatar
    Andrew

    I used to arrogantly go around thinking this way about ex-Christians when I was a Christian. Now that I am an atheist, I realize how patronizing I was. My problems with the Christian faith are entirely intellectual. The reasons I became an atheist are mostly scientific/philosophical. I was raised as a creationist and taught my Christian faith depended on creationism. When I began to research the evidence for evolution and the age of the earth, I realized everything I had been taught was wrong. I also watched debates on the existence of God and realized my philosophical arguments for believing in God did not hold up to critical scrutiny. So after many months of doing my own studying I became and atheist.

    • Avatar
      Matilda

      ‘….was taught my Christian faith depended on creationism.’ My pastor husband, a science graduate, was disturbed when a woman joined our church and was passionate about us all embracing creationism. She believed quite clearly that it was necessary for salvation. Then a missionary to Israel came to speak. He told us that to be True X-tians, we must be pro-Israel. This was just after the international media had reported israeli atrocities against Palestinians. Hubby asked…was it jesus-only who gave us eternal life? Or would be turned away from heaven cos we hadn’t accepted the co-redemptive beliefs of creationism and zionism? Wisely, I felt, this innoculated us against the fads and fashions that came along periodically within evangelicalism and usually faded away – after the author of them had made a packet selling their latest idea to excite the flock about their wonderful god’s hotline message imparted to the author!

  10. Avatar
    Kaitlin

    HAHAA the fact that this Craig guy is clearly SO terrified of christians using their brains says all there is to know. This guy perfectly exemplifies what I consider to be one of the most dangerous things religion teaches (brainwashes) followers – to never, under any circumstance, trust THEMSELVES. Look to the bible, look to that guy who leads your church, but don’t ever look to yourself.

  11. Avatar
    Benny S

    WLC: “…there is an enemy of your soul who hates you intensely, whose goal is your destruction, and who will stop at nothing to destroy you.”

    Me to WLD: Well then, why the hell hasn’t some hateful supernatural force pushed me down a flight of stairs or knocked me out into oncoming traffic before now, if I’m such a target for destruction? I’m 63 years old and still existing.

    Me to Satan: Get off your ass and do something! You and your minions could kill of so many people like me so easily with so little effort. Bring. It. On.

  12. Avatar
    Sage

    Basically, he is saying “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain…”

    People will assume my deconversion was due to a yearning to follow a worldly desire to live life as a non binary person. They believe I took the easy path and have chosen to live a sinful lifestyle because I selfishly wanted to live for myself, or maybe I was too weak, or maybe I didn’t understand or believe properly. Just as this man says, they believe I chose to follow desire, and any other reason I give is just an excuse to make my choice sound more reasonable.

    I spent many, many years in the church, indoctrinated as a preachers kid (I was in church when I was less than 2 weeks old) in a very strict household, and diligently pursuing a christian life through many decades. I studied, I prayed, I read, I committed life and many hours to the church – not just on Sundays. Eventually, I decided that there was a problem. Prayer worked great for finding keys or getting to the next gas station when the car was almost empty, but never getting answers on the crucially important things in life. God was not responding – as was promised in the Bible- so obviously I was doing something wrong, so I set off on a quest to better understand and connect with God.

    I didn’t read texts outside of christianity, I read many authors who were christians, and none of it helped. All of them basically said the same thing with variations on doctrine or theology. So then I dove into the history of the Bible – perhaps understanding context – to fit the teachings into the timeline in which they occurred, would help. But I only found out the true authors of many of the books were in question, and the timelines were skewed, adding to more questions. The more I looked, the less it all made sense.

    Eventually I realized the issues of the bible were so numerous that it could not be relied upon for anything. I had to deal with the fact that god as I was taught did not exist, and a good part of my life was wasted on false teachings. But, the good news is this journey freed me to be who I am, without guilt, shame, or looking at myself as a horrible, sinful creature who is worthless.

    Now I have value, I life free, and am responsible for my life and how it is lived.

    and I still am able to find those missing keys, or get to the next gas station when the gas is almost empty.

  13. Avatar
    clubschadenfreude

    ” that moral and spiritual lapses are the principal cause for failure to persevere rather than intellectual doubts.”

    the fake it til you make it school of theology. Keep trying, honest, it’ll make sense some day.

  14. Avatar
    ... Zoe ~

    Craig: ” Sure, somebody has to read them and refute them; but why does it have to be you? Let somebody else, who can handle it, do it.”

    Zoe: Sounds like a cult leader.

    Hey, listen, don’t you go messing around looking here and there going to and fro, dipping into someone else’s story. Only your leaders (like me) can handle the dirty stuff.

    Stay focused right here. Don’t look under the rocks or the carpets. Leave that to those of us truly called by our God, those you know with higher vibrations and divine knowledge. You weaklings, need to stop thinking critically. Follow me to your freedom.

      • Avatar
        ... Zoe ~

        Craig: “I firmly believe, and I think the Bizarro-testimonies of those who have lost their faith and apostatized bears out, that moral and spiritual lapses are the principal cause for failure to persevere rather than intellectual doubts. ”

        Zoe: And what about the “Bizarro-testimonies” of those who converted to the faith due to moral lapses.

        Cult leaders decide what testimony is legitimate. All Craig needs to do is start documenting testimonies and see how many of them convert due to emotional reasons vs. intellectual reasons.

        Craig: ” I think that the key to victorious Christian living is not to have all your questions answered — which is probably impossible in a finite lifetime — but to learn to live successfully with unanswered questions. ”

        Zoe: And there’s the hook. Careful with your doubting but hey, doubting is okay too. I’ll cherry pick when it is okay to doubt and when you should just not worry your dear little unenlightened head about it. Just follow-me.

  15. Avatar
    aylogogo77

    Craig: ” Sure, somebody has to read them and refute them; but why does it have to be you? Let somebody else, who can handle it, do it.”
    Translates as: “If you read them, you’ll have trouble refuting them and you’ll start asking questions we can’t answer.”

  16. Avatar
    ObstacleChick

    WLC (and leaders in any high demand religion): “Don’t read anything not on the approved list. We will read it, give you a synopsis, and tell you what to believe.”

  17. Avatar
    April

    I used to ask the same thing when I was a believer…how come nobody can ever ask real questions?? If we had the “truth” wouldn’t that be enough to stand on it’s own despite questions & scrutinizing?? When I begin to see inconsistencies not only in the dogma but also in the manner of life of supposed believers w/ the holy spirit & began to question & scrutinize, that is when I got myself in big trouble, especially w/ my ex pastor. The dogma is hedged in such a way that questionings and scrutiny is squelched because it is considered SIN. After time many folks have lost their ability to even think critically. These people want their followers to be puppets..yes they are the puppet masters. :/

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