When I started blogging in 2007, I made the decision to use my real name as I attempted to tell my story. I also decided that I would not protect the guilty. Since Evangelical churches, pastors, parachurch groups and the college I attended are a part of my storyline, I decided their names should be part of my story. Doing this has upset a lot of people, especially when a web search for their name, church, or group brings up my blog on the first page.
My writing is also prominently featured on the No Longer Quivering site, along with a handful of other sites I’ve either written a guest post for or participated in an interview. (I recently did an interview with Scott Lohman on Atheists Talk) I also write 8-12 letters a year to the editor of the Defiance Crescent-News.
If you take time to search for websites mentioning my name, you will find sites with articles deconstructing my life. You will also find my name and articles mentioned on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Free Jinger, Reddit, and a number of public/private sites.
Since I write using my real name and I am the only Bruce Gerencser in the world, it is not hard to find a wealth of information, positive and negative. I knew when I started blogging that I would open myself up to scrutiny. I knew that people would lie about me, distort my story, and try to besmirch my character. This is the price I pay for being a public figure.
Those of you who have read this blog for years know I stopped blogging when the emotional and mental stress became too much. I think, thanks to my seeing a counselor on a regular basis, that I have learned to handle the stress that comes from having a public blog that is widely read. This doesn’t mean that I plan on blogging until Jesus comes again, but I hope I have enough mental and emotional wherewithal to withstand the pressures that come my way. If anything puts an end to my writing career it will be chronic illness and pain.
Recently, a man by the name of Steve Ransom sent me an email that I shared with readers in a post titled Steve Ransom Lays Down a Challenge to Bruce and His Fellow Atheists. He purported to have a new argument that he was sure would set me back on the right path to God. All he really had was a deconstruction of my life and how I had followed a false God. There was a time such a deconstruction would cause me mental and emotional angst. Not any more.
When I started blogging I thought if I just told my story people would understand, even if they disagreed with me. I thought if I just explained myself that my critics would at least understand my viewpoint. I know, quite naïve of me.
This subject came up one day during counseling. I expressed my dismay over Evangelicals not being willing to accept my explanation of my life. Who knows my life better than me, right? My counselor told me:
Bruce, you think they care what you think? They don’t give a shit about what you think.
And he is right. I know that those who tear into my life aren’t interested in anything I have to say. They have read a handful of posts, maybe even 25 or 30, and they are now ready to render judgment, and render they do. It’s happened uncounted times over the years, and it will happen in future. Evangelicals can’t help themselves, so I let them have one opportunity to say whatever is on their mind. One comment, that’s it.
There was a time when I engaged every Evangelical commenter. I thought if I just explained myself they would understand. I now know better. Now that I know they don’t give a shit, neither do I.