Menu Close

Dear Christian Woman: Is your Facebook Profile Photo Causing Men to Lust?


Fundamentalist Christians rarely miss an opportunity to point out ANOTHER behavior that is a sin or causes others to sin.

Several years ago, Trisha Ramos  wrote:

No doubt our Facebook pages can be a witnessing tool for the Gospel and with the advancement of modern technology and all the various social media venues, we don’t even have to leave the house to be a witness for the Lord. In fact, why else have a Facebook, but to tell of the Lord’s wondrous deeds and call others to turn from their sins and trust in the Savior, Jesus Christ. I’m sure there are many other reasons why we have Facebook pages but in the midst of it all, proclaiming the gospel should be the chief aim for any follower of Christ.

To show this more clearly, when you accept a friend on Facebook, typically the very first thing they do is view your pictures. In fact, sometimes that’s all they may do. They quickly skim through them to see how you look and what you’ve been up to for the past decade or two and then off they go, onto the next person’s page. It reminds me of the ol’ adage, “a picture is worth a thousand words.” This saying refers to the idea that a picture communicates something. Sometimes it communicates too much. So with that in mind, when was the last time you went through your Facebook pictures and asked yourself, “Is this modest?” or “What am I communicating to my ‘friends’?” and “Would I want my brothers and sisters in Christ looking at theses pictures?”

Ladies, this is especially for us. If you are a professing Christian and if you haven’t done this already, here’s something practical that you can do: Go through every picture on your Facebook (This may take time depending upon how many pictures you have, but it will be worth it since on Judgment Day you will give an account to the Lord for all of these things) and if you are dressed in an immodest manner, hit ‘Delete!’

If you need help with deciphering what is modest and what is immodest, ask a modest sister in your local church for help, or a godly older women who can give you wise counsel, or ask your husband (assuming that he has biblical standards for modesty). And if all else fails and you have no one else to go to, well then, there’s always me and I’ll be quick to toot my modesty horn.

For starters, here’s a few specific areas that might help you out, let’s begin with cleavage. Ladies, if you are showing cleavage, hit ‘Delete’ as fast as you can! I don’t care how “cute” you look or if someone else posts to pic of you or if it was way back in your BC (before Christ) days. This is not acceptable in any circumstances for a woman who professes to follow Christ. Simply delete the picture or ‘Un-tag’ yourself.

If you have photos of you or your friends in bikinis, hit ‘Delete’ as quickly as you can and don’t look back. Or if your mid (midriff) section is showing hit ‘Delete’ please. And short shorts are a no no, so you know what to do with that, ‘Delete, delete, delete’. And then check your heart and ask yourself, “What is it within me that desires to present myself in this manner?” and “What does this speak of the condition of my heart?”

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel…” 1 Timothy 2.9a

Like the Pharisees of old, modern-day fundamentalists major on the minor. Cleavage is everywhere these days. Women have two breasts and the space between them is cleavage. Women have had cleavage for as long as I can remember. It is utterly amazing that anyone would give one moment of time to the issue of women showing their cleavage. Cleave away dear women, cleave away, I say!

Are Christian men so weak that any show of cleavage causes them to lust? Maybe I am too old, but when I see cleavage my first thought is “are the breasts real?”  I am glad to be free from the Puritanical shackles of fundamentalist Christianity. As a man, I am grateful that I have the freedom to say “nice” in the presence of my wife and not get a lecture on “if your eye offends you pluck it out.” It is refreshing to hear my wife say “that’s a nice looking guy.”  No fear of infidelity. No fear of moral compromise.

cleavage 2

We are sexual beings. It is quite normal to “look” and even speak out loud what we are thinking as we look. It is the Christian who is abnormal, living under fear of judgment or disapproval if they dare embrace and express their sexuality. I know the morality police will tell me that I am a licentious, lascivious person who has been given over to the lusts of the flesh. According to them, I am a reprobate who is beyond the influence of God. (Romans 1)

There is a lot of sexual dysfunction in the Evangelical church. Blogs like the one mentioned above help reinforce this dysfunction by teaching women to treat their body in ways that diminish their sexuality or turn their sexuality into something to be ashamed of. Christian men are viewed as helpless and weak, turned into horn dogs by the slightest bit of cleavage or leg. Evangelical women are taught that it is their job to keep these poor, helpless men from lusting and falling into sin. Time to cover up, head to toe…wait a minute…isn’t there another place in the world where women are required to do the same?


Trisha Ramos is married to Emilio Ramos, teaching pastor of Heritage Grace Community Church in Frisco, Texas.


  1. Avatar

    Love the comic at the top of the post.

    If you don’t believe that Christianity is a mind-numbing existence that makes the brain search for things to ponder, consider crap like this. This is the hallmark of people with Too Much Time On Their Hands. Modesty police aren’t busy learning, creating, innovating, or any of the other wonderful things that the human brain is capable of; they’re off worrying about what is ultimately water under someone else’s bridge.

    Now, I speak as someone who has never publicly posted a personal photo on social media. I’m not attractive and I want people to evaluate me by my words. But most of my friends and family members don’t have that quirk. And they’re ordinary people. Yes, my niece (age 22 or thereabouts) wears stuff I wouldn’t. So what? She’s lovely. I’m sure she wouldn’t get the approval of the modesty police. She doesn’t care and neither do I.

    In Silicon Valley, where I hang out, there’s a running joke that says if the sexual organs and mammary glands are covered, you’re okay; bonus points if you don’t have holes in your jeans and you bathe daily. In reality, engineers dress in jeans (usually without holes) or slacks and buttondown shirts or T-shirts. Ladies sometimes exercise the option of pullover sweaters, or a bit of satin trim, or a touch of eyelet or lace on their T-shirts. And by golly, everyone’s adequately covered and nobody worries about it. And I’m sure the modesty police, bereft of their usual targets, would make something up to complain about.

  2. Avatar

    As a woman with a shapely decolletage, it really isn’t like I can do all that much to make it look like I don’t. I’d have to wear one of those Duggar denim jumper thingies to look as dowdy as I’d be expected to, but even then it’s not like you wouldn’t be able to tell that ‘they’re real and they’re spectacular’ (obligatory Seinfeld reference). It can be so difficult to find well-fitting button-up blouses that don’t gap in the wrong places, and I hate that. So, I guess if I use a picture that shows anything other than my face that makes it clear that I do, indeed, have a female chest, the ‘modesty police’ christians just aren’t going to friend me up.

    Oh well, I’m sure I’ll learn to live with the disappointment. 😉

    I had a discussion with a moderator over on one time about this subject. I pointed out that there are people out there who simply have a lot of ‘sex appeal’ no matter what they’re wearing. Even if their clothing is very modest, there’s no denying that s/he’s just sexy. He didn’t like being confronted with that reality, though – especially by a mere woman – so he banned me from commenting. I’m strong enough to own my sexuality, and your god is too feeble to keep you from constantly stumbling. I don’t know, dude; who’s the weak one here?

    • Avatar

      I’m also a busty woman, and I can’t avoid cleavage unless I pretty-much wear a turtleneck. And, really, why should I?
      If someone gets all bothered by a glimpse of cleavage, that’s their problem, surely.
      As to nice blouses, I’ve been known to sew them up, and put a velcro placket on the side to avoid the “gaps.”
      Anyone who bans someone who simply disagrees or points out something they haven’t thought of is a coward.

  3. Avatar
    Appalachian Agnostic

    At last! Confirmation that people do indeed deliberately use Facebook to nag, I mean witness for Christ. It is so annoying that at times I consider giving up Facebook all together. But then I would miss out on lots of lovely things, like the ability to have discussions with people from all over the world who share my interests. I usually come to this site after I have been on Facebook. It helps to cancel out all the “I Love Jesus” crap I read over there.

  4. Avatar
    Kate Bartlett

    What is modest dressing anyway? A woman can be covered neck to knee, no cleavage showing and still look 100% womanly, feminine and curvaceous unfortunately setting some man off. If you continue down this road of thinking the only solution is that women wear a burqa which of course is ridiculous. At what point is a man responsible for his own behaviour?

    • Avatar
      Bruce Gerencser

      One could argue more clothing results in more lust because the man is wondering what’s underneath. Less clothing, lest imagination required 🙂

      I may have been a raging fundy preacher, but I never blamed women for the “sins” of men. Besides, if God (Holy Spirit) lives inside the Christian man, perhaps it is God who has a problem with Facebook cleavage. 🙂 Surely God is powerful enough to keep Baptist Bob from lusting?

  5. Avatar

    My husband actually says, “Thank you.” to women on occasion. Although not loud enough for them to hear. Usually. 😉

    I point out boobs whenever I see a pair I think he will like, as I’m the one who benefits from his masculine behaviors.

    I have many Christian relatives. I love them all. But they’re stupid about this stuff, too.
    Seems to me that if they follow their beliefs that a supreme being created us all just the way we are, they’d appreciate the gifts instead of trying to pretend they don’t exist.

  6. Avatar

    One of my biggest problems I had before deconverting was constantly worrying and feeling guilty about my “sinful” thoughts, especially when it came to sexual attractions. It gets to the point where constantly trying to keep “clean” thoughts actually makes you create an unhealthy obsession with them.

    It’s like trying to ignore the elephant in the room. Or when someone tells you to not think about Gnomes, what is the first thing you think of? Gnomes of course!

    The funny part is, it is easier for me to ignore sexual attractions or lusts now that God isn’t standing over me any longer. Perhaps this explains Christian obsessions with homosexuality?

  7. Avatar

    NO, men lust because that is who they are and how they roll! GET REAL! Take responsibility for once in your life! No, God Eve gave me the fruit – you know the woman you gave me! ROFL! Grow up boys

Please Leave a Pithy Reply

%d bloggers like this: