Ark Encounter Asks Twitter Followers What They Learned While Visiting Ken Ham’s Monument to Ignorance

ken ham ark encounter

Ken “Hambo” Ham is the CEO of  Answers in Genesis, the Creation Museum, and the Ark Encounter — a life-size “replica” of Noah’s Ark.  Last week, whoever handles the Twitter feed for Ark Encounter asked “What is something you learned at Ark Encounter?” Needless to say, many of the responses were hilarious. Enjoy!

  • I’d love to visit the Ark Encounter to see how a gullible fellow Aussie has duped so many gullible Americans with creation myths that are so easily debunked in this enlightened era.
  • That Noah used a lot of new technological gadgets to build it.
  • I’ve learned that as countless religious people leave their faith and while atheism swells in ranks it’s leaving the most gullible and mentally challenged behind. Therefore, the religious are becoming increasingly insane and that explains why they also support grifter Trump.
  • That people who believe this either: 1) haven’t read the right books/attended the right classes 2) aren’t clever enough to have understood them 3) liars. Where Ken Ham is concerned, I’m hesitating between 2 or 3? On balance I’ll go with 3.
  • That someone stole the Epic of Gilgamesh and built it in Kentucky.
  • That Noah must’ve invented the rivet gun.
  • That creationists are very good at not understanding things when their salary depends on them not understanding.
  • The marsupials had one helluva journey home.
  • So I’m supposed to suspend logic and believe that Noah and his family built the ark with only a few days notice but it took you about 4yrs with over 1000 workers something resembling the ark but doesn’t even float? GTFO!
  • That blindly denying observation and reason, and forging ahead with conclusion first, and making up supporting ideas afterwards is a bass-ackwards approach for a world view.
  • That an ark built to the specifications in the bible isn’t seaworthy and can’t house 2 of every creature on Earth.
  • The price of gullibility is $42 per adult plus parking.
  • Yup, the 600 year old floating zoo keeper is at it again. Now he and his 500 year old sons, Mo Larry and Curly, are master ship builders and loggers pulling massive trees out of the DESERT And we wonder why real science gets shelved.
  • Aww… “Noah’s Preformed Laminated Composite Structures,” “Noah’s Tyvek,” and “Noah’s Hydraulic Noah-Lifters” r all pretty cool. But… I was SO hoping to find a pic of Noah’s hard-hat. Sad, now.
  • There is a wealth of tax money that could be going to children’s educations at public schools and also to maintaining national infrastructure, helping people to succeed and be safe, instead of just going into the coffers of groups who don’t actually produce anything.
  • That the Flintstones was a documentary.
  • That instead of hiring a 900-year-old man and his small family, you required cranes, concrete pylons, and at least a 1,000 person workforce, not to mention tax exemptions to build half a boat incapable of carrying a fraction of the world’s species.
  • That willful ignorance is a helluva drug.
  • That what Noah supposedly managed with wood and bronze needed steel rebar, insulation, cranes, and composite to (poorly) replicate.
  • I learned the god you worship is a narcissistic, pathological liar and murderous vindictive thug who committed specicide, and who is responsible for creating Satan, sin, and all other manners of evil but then blames everyone else for it.
  • That koala bears and kangaroos and wallabys had to swim all the way across the Indian Ocean and back.
  • Some ya-hoo spent a bunch of money, including some taxpayer money, to construct a park in an attempt to convince people that dinosaurs and people were on earth during the same time period, and that the planet is less than 10,000 years old. The dumbing down of America in earnest.
  • That the promised economic benefits to the surrounding area were all a sham. That millions of dollars of taxpayer money was stolen to construct a religious idol packed with blatant falsities that are an affront to science passed off as truth. But at least the zoo’s ok, right?
  • That that boat would be super sweet at Burning Man.
  • That god is an idiot who killed every baby, toddler, child on earth in a snit-fit only to have humans repopulate and return to sinning. Couldn’t see that coming, oh omniscient one?!?!
  • That dinosaurs can be domesticated.
  • That religious grifters are the same everywhere. Apply for tax exemption, get local & state taxpayers to help fund the con, privatize profits, socialize debt, max out the credit, file bankruptcy, and fly away with the cash. Typical con, religious version.
  • I learned that the model, which you put together using heavy machinery, modern refined resourced, pneumatic nail guns and screws, and thousands man hours, would have taken 4 primitive men several thousand years to complete using simple stone or bronze tools.
  • That some people still celebrate ignorance and religious delusions. We as humans have moved so much further ahead than this. This entire place is a wasteful, hopeless, and meaningless, struggle against reality.
  • That the only thing more full of shit than a floating zoo after 40 days and nights are the people that bilked the taxpayers out of money for this monstrosity?
  • I learned that some people watched Evan Almighty and took it way too seriously.
  • The irony of the Ark Encounter buses being powered by fossil fuels made from the remains of dead zooplankton and algae millions of yrs older that these dimwits claim the universe is.
  • I learned that we are morally justified by God to make the descendants of Canaan our slaves for all eternity.
  • I learned that the ark couldn’t possibly hold two of every of animal. And had no way to clean, maintain animal health, and maintain a fresh supply of water for the animals. Oh and all the fresh water fish died in salt water.
  • That there were kangaroos in the Middle East.
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9 Comments

  1. Kittybrat

    Ha! Brilliant. It still astounds me the ignorance of followers of Ham and the religious dribble he spouts. They BELIEVE this stuff AND are absolutely certain we who do not are all just so lost and incapable of understanding that we are bound for hell. The clouds of indoctrination are thick, and it’s sad.

    Reply
  2. ObstacleChick

    Unfortunately high school science courses can’t be in depth enough for people to come away with the understanding that this story couldn’t have happened for a wide variety of reasons. Add to that it caters to an audience that believes and teaches that the Bible is an accurate history book. I shake my head at the utter ridiculousness of it, and I know a lot of people who believe the story to be a historical fact. Ugh.

    Reply
  3. GeoffT

    Purely and simply as a visitor attraction that is interesting and clearly had a lot of effort put into it then, without the connotations, and were it local to me (as opposed to several thousand miles away, across the Atlantic), I’d pay it a visit. As it is the connotations make it what it is, and I would never even consider handing over my hard earned money to this blight on human progress. I’d be embarrassed to live anywhere near it, and would feel obliged constantly to be apologising for it.

    Reply
  4. Ami

    Those are hilarious!!

    Reply
  5. Troy

    Especially in the picture here the Ark looks dreadful. Some believe it is water damage, but that isn’t water damage, it is a special wood that will end up with a uniform (but still butt ugly) gray patina. Ham wanted to save money on staining the Ark every 5 years…a poor decision in my opinion. It will never have the fairy tale awesomeness depicted in the concept art, instead it’ll look like old crappy wood that got left out in the rain.
    The whole exhibit reminds me of Las Vegas where various iconic buildings are cheaply imitated and squeezed into a tiny area. Removed from their normal habitat they look uncannily out of place.
    It is also pricey. We contemplated a visit. For two adults with parking $95.00. They are charging amusement park prices for a roadside exhibit. Inside the Ark is nothing but creationist propaganda and museum displays which contradict everything we’ve learned about science.
    Oh but don’t think people aren’t coming. There seems to be a fairly decent trickle of rubes willing to go there. I have to wonder if those who revisit go there out of some sort of misplaced duty to patronize Christian businesses?

    Reply
  6. Appalachian Agnostic

    My entire immediate family and probably the majority of the people I know think that this attraction is something important and worthwhile. It makes me sad.

    Reply
  7. Kris

    I wonder if they have a display showing angels having sex with human women 🙂

    Gen
    When men began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them,
    2
    the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose.
    3
    Then the LORD said, “My Spirit will not contend with [1] man forever, for he is mortal [2] ; his days will be a hundred and twenty years.”
    4
    The Nephilim were on the earth in those days–and also afterward–when the sons of God went to the daughters of men and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.
    5
    The LORD saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time.
    6
    The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain.
    7

    Reply
  8. Caroline

    This just seems like Disneyland for Christians because so many of them think Disneyland/World are heathen because all Hollywood is bad.
    Little Christian kids have to have imaginary fun too.

    Caroline

    Reply
  9. Brian Vanderlip

    I really wonder why the Delusion requires some physical proof… Maybe it is a remnant of biped ability to reason, a nagging reminder that the Delusion is just that….. Build yourself an ark and say, Look, proof!
    I just feel silly that I spent my whole youth as a billboard for ignorance.
    On a brighter note, the dandelions are out in the North Okanagan B.C. and my bees are drunk with yellow/orange pollen. Thank sweetness Ham let them fly aboard before God pissed down on us for over a month!

    Reply

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