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Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Praise Jesus for Forced Conversions and Genocide

Christopher Columbus
Cartoon by Sergio Hernandez

Indigenous people should, as every year, be thanking God for colonization on Columbus Day. The Great Commission as promised by Jesus – to spread his name and message throughout the world – has largely been the byproduct of the expansion of Christian empires through colonization. And through colonization, disadvantaged parts of the world have thrived by the influence of God-fearing nations.

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Native peoples around the world are far better off, more happy, more healthy, and more at peace than they ever would have been before, if it were not for colonization of the New World and the expanse of Christendom throughout the world. Although Columbus himself was a Romanist and not a real believer in Jesus, his voyage across the Atlantic brought the competition of religion between Romanists and Protestants, and set-off the race to Christianize the savage in the New World.

— Pulpit & Pen, Thank God for Colonization on this Columbus Day, October 13, 2019

13 Comments

  1. Avatar
    przxqgl

    a friend of mine who has religious in-laws noticed that when a person gets sick, and goes to the doctor, and then gets better, or when someone “gets saved”, or that sort of thing, they’re always praising jeezis…

    so he started praising jeezis for his own “positive” events: praise jeezis for legal weed! praise jeezis for the impeachment inquiry! ?

  2. Avatar
    Karen the rock whisperer

    That is one breathtakingly evil argument. It would be one thing to argue that maybe “the only thing that Colonization by Europeans ever did was to bring Christianity to places that had never heard of it,” though I would stridently disagree with that one, too. But this guy just all about, “Yay Colonization, We Civilized the Savages with Jesus!”

    May he live in very personally interesting times, and I certainly don’t mean that old curse in a good way.

  3. Avatar
    Carol Dworkowski

    SOME Christians think that. So do SOME atheists and SOME agnostics. I believe it is called Eurocentrism.

    The natural evolutionary process of tribalism, confederation and then nationhood through marriage and treaties based on common interests was interrupted by artificially imposed borders that conformed to the realities of European power grabs. Ethnic identities that were often more “civilized” in many ways than those of the European colonizers were either suppressed or completely wiped out. We are paying the price for the colonizing policies of the European nations today, especially in the Middle East and Africa.

    Karma is a bitch! It relentlessly imposes retributive justice until the last wrong has been atoned for and the thirst for vengeance has been satisfied.

    The good news is that our species is beginning to see the advantages in seeking restorative justice over retributive justice, the institutionalization of reconciliation efforts saved South Africa from the blood baths of many other African countries. But we still have a ways to go before the upwising outweighs the short term catharsis of an uprising in most peoples’ minds.

    “Your beliefs become your thoughts,
    Your thoughts become your words,
    Your words become your actions,
    Your actions become your habits,
    Your habits become your values,
    Your values become your destiny.”
    – Mahatma Gandhi

    • Avatar
      Yulya Sevelova

      I looked into the author of Pulpit&Pen, and found that it is Pastor Jordan Hall of Sidney, Montana. Googled him and it seems this man is a nutjob. People who think like this person, represent the absolute worst of Western culture. He’s a throwback to the 1600’s. A very depressing person, and probably an inspiration for many to go on de-converting. By the way, it was Marco Polo’s journals that fed Columbus’ obsessions. He wanted to pick up where Polo left off, thinking he could take the Silk Road by force, using seafaring instead of the hard-luck land route, which would have been a suicide mission if ever there was one LOL !

  4. Avatar
    Maloyo

    I’m African American. So glad my ancestors had to endure slavery just so they could find Jesus. Wonder why Jesus didn’t help them under the whip in the cotton fields? I guess it is more the ‘lord working in mysterious ways’ stuff I’ve heard my whole life.

    I can’t say I grew up with a deep religious upbringing. I quit going to Sunday School when the NFL moved its starting time from 1:30 pm to 1:00 pm for games, an event which coincided with my parents separation. Went to my father’s family church; my mother protected us from him, so I wasn’t inclined to keep going with him and she left the choice to us. So much of it was always ridiculous and hypocritical to me and when I’d question it, the retort was always, “you don’t question God.” Okay, I was questioning them, but whatever.

    Reading the “Romanist” line reminded me of how much the bible study people I had hated Catholics. Never heard that term though. Learned something today and that is usually a good thing.

    • Avatar
      Yulya Sevelova

      Hello, Maloyo. There really was and is, better ways to introduce Jesus to people,than slavery or genocide. JD Hall is simply a Eurocentric ding- dong, and has a lot of personal issues that make him the sort of guy who isn’t qualified to teach or preach, to anyone. All these Europeans did back in the day was ruin Jesus’ reputation,if anything. This is why Jesus is so hated in these times. The Apostles and early churches did just fine making concerts, and didn’t use weapons or slavery to do it. It was unthinkable. The New Testament makes zero excuses for the behavior of those explorers and settlers then, and numbnuts like JD Hall today!😁

  5. Avatar
    Brunetto Latini

    The dangerously unhinged author of this piece should be told to take his God and shove it. But I wouldn’t tell him that without adequate defensive apparatus. The indigenous peoples, unfortunately, we’re not so equipped.

  6. Avatar
    Troy

    I don’t think any of the native people are thankful though. The name “Columbus” itself is a taboo word like Voldemort in many Latin cultures, that goes to show you how little he is revered. (He is typically referred to as “The Admiral”.)
    I’m amused by the author’s insinuation that Columbus wasn’t a “true” Christian. I suppose this is because he wasn’t a protestant… But were there ANY true Christians at all? The reformation occurred after Columbus was dead. Columbus signed his name to accentuate the fact that Christopher means “Christ bringer”. His zealotry and belief can’t be poo-pooed by chauvinism of this ignorant nut.

  7. Avatar
    Caroline

    We just celebrated Indigenous Peoples’ Day in the great state of Maine! My state renamed Columbus Day just this year, and I’m proud of the governor (Go Janet Mills, first woman governor of Maine!) for doing so. There are still many native peoples in Maine, and they are all proud to be recognized today (and every day, I hope).

    In case anyone’s interested, there’s a super documentary called Dawnland that is being shown on PBS this week (in Maine anyway), and has been shown around the country in the last year. It’s a beautiful tribute and apology to all the native peoples impacted by colonialism (which was way more about making money than spreading religion). The film was sponsored by a group called Wabanaki Reach which represents the many tribes of the Wabanaki (People of the Dawn) in Maine. I’m not sure why the folks at Pulpit and Pen would be intimidated by recognizing what really happened, but that’s their problem.

  8. Avatar
    Melissa A Montana

    “They are healthier and happier.” Yeah, please tell that to the people in the burning Amazon rainforest. Or the people who were at Wounded Knee. Or the people who were destroyed at Sand Creek. Or the ones given blankets infected with small pox. Or….you get the picture.

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