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Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Lori Alexander Asks a Rhetorical Question

neanderthal family

Do I Teach a Neanderthal Concept of Women?

“Entitled husbands thinking their wife should remain inside the home as a ‘homemaker’ or ‘housewife’ leads to depression, isolation, anxiety, and more. Stop encouraging the Neanderthal concept of women should remain barefoot and pregnant and take care of their man’s needs and balance their entire family and household on her shoulders.” This was a comment left on my Facebook page. Apparently, she’s bought the feminist’s lies hook, line, and sinker.

Are husbands “entitled” who want their wives to be full-time homemakers? No, they are godly men who understand that God’s role for women is good, therefore, home is the best place for their wives. They work hard so their wives can be home full time. This doesn’t entitle them at all. They want their children to be raised by their children’s mother. They know this is not only protection for their wives but for their children. They know that no one can love and care for their children like their wives.

No, being a homemaker doesn’t lead to depression. Since women have left the home and tried to have it all, women are more depressed than ever before. Look up how many women are on anti-depressants and the numerous articles trying to explain why depression has skyrocketed among women. Women aren’t designed to do men’s work plus their own. The only reasons homemakers are depressed (other than a chemical imbalance) is because they have not been taught that it’s okay to not have a career and bring home a paycheck. They are right where God wants them to be and it is good. They need to learn that godliness with contentment is great gain and that as they love and serve their husbands and children, they are loving and serving Christ.

Is it a Neanderthal concept for women being barefoot, pregnant, taking care of their men’s needs, and balancing the entire family and household on her shoulders? No, it’s God’s concept for women and it’s perfect! Fertility is a short window in women’s life. By 30 years old, 90 percent of their eggs are gone so I always encourage women to NOT take their fertility for granted since children are the best blessings on this earth. Women were created to have children and it’s good!

I am sure she means by “taking care of their men’s needs” that she is referring to sex and yes, wives are commanded to not deprive their husbands in this area. Men have other needs too, however. They need good food, clean clothes, a clean home, someone to help raise their children, love, affection, respect, and so on. Generous, kind, and loving wives will provide these things for their husbands and they will do it with thankfulness. Good husbands are a huge blessing in their wives’ lives.

— Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, Do I Teach a Neanderthal Concept of Women?, March 2, 2020


  1. Avatar
    dale m.

    She’s uneducated. And it shows. Susie homemaker likes to stay home, learn nothing until 40, when her husband finds a 15 year old, dumps her and now must start all over again. Where’s that Prozac??? LORI also does not understand that Neanderthal women were no slackards. They cared for their children AND they hunted WITH the men. The men probably learned how to cook, sew and care 4 the children as well. LORI wouldn’t last 2 days with a family of highly educated, mobile Neanderthals.

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      Brian Vanderlip

      I wonder, dale m., if there is a great deal of difference between evangelical Christianity and the Islam you speak of here. Personally, I see little to separate them. Both are based in self-hatred and hatred of others, both travel the world over to harm with terrorism in the sky and on the earth, both delusional positions claim to be able to communicate with invisible God beings. As for women, both are harsh patriarchies. Both these religions speak of themselves as ultimate Peace while practicing little more than war, seven days a week, forever and ever, amen.

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        if there is a great deal of difference between evangelical Christianity and the Islam you speak of here.

        It’s mostly a difference of degree and of what the surrounding culture in each case will accept, more than a difference between the religions themselves. The source material is very similar — the Koran is largely plagiarized from the Bible. There are some differences in social origins — Christianity and Judaism are desert, pastoralist religions while Islam originated in an urban environment — but compared to the similarity in sacred text I don’t think that has much impact.

        The West being more liberal about women than the Middle East is not due to the West being Christian instead of Muslim. It’s due to the West being more secular.

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    Provided that there is a god, Lori and I agree on one thing, at least: “Good husbands are a huge blessing in their wives’ lives.” We do, however, differ greatly on the definition of “good.” I do not think, as Lori seems to, that men are incapable of housework and/or child care. Good food, clean clothes, a clean home, and happy, well-cared-for children are goals toward which both a husband and wife can work, together, not a burden for a wife to bear alone. How they distribute those tasks is up to them to figure out, not for Lori (or god) to dictate to them.

    Why should women stay at home and men go out to work? Has there ever been a time in history (even among Neanderthals) when that was the usual practice? I doubt it. Women have always contributed their labor to providing for a household–hunting small game, gathering plant foods, tending a garden, making goods to barter or sell, and working alongside their husbands. Look at the Proverbs 31 woman, whose “price is far above rubies,” in the Bible that Lori believes she follows: she buys and sells goods (her servants probably do the actual production), buys a vinyard with money she has earned by supplying goods to merchants, supervises her servants, in addition to caring for her household (in which the servants perform most of the actual labor). Her husband, it is said, admires her strength of character and her wisdom, and boasts about her among his friends. This is not a stay-at-home wife, who needs her husband’s permission to do anything.

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    Again, she fails to see what the family situation will be like if the husband is NOT good! I grew up in a house where the father was personality-disordered, wouldn’t seek out help, insisted he didn’t need it. . . and his rages and manipulation and tantrums destroyed any vestige of family harmony that might otherwise have existed. He bullied our mother; he bullied my siblings and me. Particularly unfortunately, he was (like many abusive people) very skilled at putting on a Loving Father and Husband act in public. (And must have behaved appropriately in the workplace: he never lost his job and he got several promotions.) Also, very unfortunately, our mother (a people-pleaser and a covert narcissist) spent their entire married life enabling him, protecting him from any kind of consequences and basically being his no 1 fan and cheerleader. . . .

    When I described this situation to Lori (and I know it’s not a rare scenario) she removed my post. There is nothing warm or loving or wise about her, she is an arrogant neurotic. And her words must be a great balm and solace to abusive men who demoralize and damage their families’ wellbeing. She disgusts me.

    I know this isn’t very “pithy” but “pity” deserts me when I read this kind of dangerous nonsense.

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    Charles S. Oaxpatu

    Don’t worry. Be happy. Lori and Lori’s kind of woman are mostly a Baby Boomer phenomenon leftover from the influence of the so-called Greatest Generation. When the Baby Boomer generation dies off, which is already happening, most of this fundie-women-should clap trap will die off with it. All American women will then have the freedom to be and do in life to the fullest extent of the aptitudes, abilities, and brainpower God gave them. What if Katherine Johnson had decided to stay home, change diapers, cook, and watch soap operas on TV rather than work for NASA. A mind—any mind— is indeed a terrible thing to waste. Lori’s mind has not only been wasted with a life of BS shoveled into the ears and eyes of American women, but Fundieland has turned her own mind into a banana mush wasteland.

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    Barbaa L. Jackson

    This is again a Christian view that there is only one correct way to live. I did not want to have children, neither did my husband. We wanted to create our own relationship our own way. For example, he is a much better cook/chef than me and much better travel planner. I am more willing to call other parties like the insurers and roof contractors and solar panel removal/replacement firms (and argue with them about price) than he is.

    Work the way it is set up now (especially the gig economy with no benefits) requires two working just to pay the rent.

    Let each couple do it their own way.

    Thank you
    Barbara L. Jackson

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Bruce Gerencser