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Hey Girlfriend, Jesus is Way More Muscular than Your Boyfriend

manly jesus

Repost from 2015. Edited, updated, and corrected.

Paula Hendricks, a writer for the Lies Young Women Believe, had this to say about Jesus’ muscles:

Video Link

According to Hendricks, big biceps come from Jesus, and no matter how big a man’s muscles are, Jesus’ muscles are b-i-g-g-e-r. Jesus even has bigger muscles than Arnold Schwarzenegger. However, when Arnold said, I’ll be back, he kept his word. Jesus? 2,000 years later, we are still waiting.

Bruce Gerencser, 63, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 42 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen awesome grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist. For more information about Bruce, please read the About page.

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12 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Jada

    I do love my husband’s arms; but, you know, a huge part of that is because I can actually *touch* them. Which I cannot do with an imaginary figure’s arms. Just sayin’.

  2. Avatar
    Connie

    I have the hardest time listening to this lady. To me she sounds like a salesperson who really needs me to buy their product even though it’s not in my best interest. It is as if she can’t get to heaven unless she has a collection of souls on her belt.

    So – logic fail on God creating everything with no energy at all. Even magic has an energy transfer in the recipe. But then Jesus has to have muscles to deal with three things because why? He has to be more muscular than a human?

    So glad I’m a Quantum Activist. Laws of physics make sense, thank you very much.

    Connie in Denver

    Oh – read other posts before landing here. Glad you all are still up and as well as can be expected. C

    • Avatar
      Bruce Gerencser

      My assessment is much cruder than yours. 🙂 I think this woman needs to get laid. That will fix things. 🙂

      Her voice and presentation has a cultic ring to it, like a bunch of girls whispering to each other during a sleepover.

  3. Avatar
    Monty

    So I’m waiting for a skit where Jesus imitates the SNL skit and says “I just want to pump *claps hands* you up!!”

  4. Avatar
    Sarah

    I don’t know why anyone would think Jesus has to have the biggest abs. Reminds me of Liberty Univ having to be the best at everything according to them. And yes she sounds so wired that my husband asked about it when he wasn’t even listening. But I gotta know what’s a Quantum Activist? Is it like Quantum Information?

  5. Avatar
    ObstacleChick

    If Jesus was actually a carpenter, he probably had lean muscle mass from the work he did, though he probably didn’t have a proper diet or the correct movements to produce the kind of gains bodybuilders have. And if he spent 3 years walking around all over the place teaching and eating whatever people saw fit to give him, he probably lost most of his upper body strength and mass. Just saying.

    What a weird thing to focus on…..

  6. Avatar
    Yulya Sevelova

    I went to Hendricks’ site. Read through it. And was reminded of why I don’t go to church anymore. That nuttiness creeps me out. I was looking up Mickey Gilley, and found out that he’s a cousin of both Jimmy Swaggart and Jerry Lee Lewis. I can’t speak for Gilley, bit Swaggart and Lewis are very angry guys. Which can be traced to how they were raised. Lots of physical abuse,etc. Even watched a video or two of Swaggart’s church services. Typical Assemblies of God style. It was triggering me after a few minutes, so I moved on. I can see where this convoluted thinking and behavior comes from, and how nuts they come across. I couldn’t be paid to go around such people now, and for anyone who’d want to keep God and hates going to church, dump the church. Don’t allow anyone to threaten you with Hell for not attending.

  7. Avatar
    apostatedaughter

    I’ll have to say, watching this nonsense reminds me that, among those thousand tiny cuts that finally led to the death of my ‘faith’ was this ridiculous trivializing of everything by ignorant people posing as deep thinkers. I wanted it to be the best thing in the universe, as I had been taught in my indoctrination from birth. Instead, it was constantly nothing but silliness. My hope is that some of her followers will wake the hell up during this vacuousness and come to their senses, if they have any. (This would work so well as a satire, don’t you think? Comedians, take note.)

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