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Christians Say the Darnedest Things: “Godly” Husbands Have the Right to Violate the Consciences of Their Wives

conscience israel wayne
Facebook quote by Israel Wayne

I’m not sure I agree with this. There are times that someone’s conscience is so misguided that it would be wrong to follow it. For example, suppose the wife is pregnant with a disabled child and believes it is mercy to abort. Her conscience is telling her it is wrong to let the child have a difficult life. Yet her conscience is wrong. Very wrong. The husband would be right to tell her not to kill their child.

I think the husband is given authority to lead the family precisely to avoid the tyranny of the wife’s conscience. We can all get various ideas in our heads about what we should do, and we might even have a strong belief that this is the right thing. But if the wife goes by what she thinks is right all the time, how is her husband to lead her when they disagree? Essentially, any time they disagree, she can invoke conscience and, magically, she gets her way. God gave the husband authority over her conscience on purpose to avoid this problem.

Of course, I fully agree that in the vast majority of cases, when the wife has a conscientious objection, the husband should listen and take this into consideration. That’s wise leadership. If the husband commands his wife against her conscience, he will bear the blame if there is any sin. God will hold him responsible. So it’s a very serious matter. But I would definitely not say he should never require the wife to go against her conscience. God made the husband, not the wife’s conscience, the leader of the home.

— Lindsay Harold, Via Lori Alexander on The Transformed Wife, Does a Wife’s Conscience Trump Her Husband’s Conscience? February 1, 2022

When I told Polly about Alexander’s post, she became angry, said nothing, and flipped me off. Message received. 🙂 Harold speaks of the ” tyranny of the wife’s conscience,” yet fails to mention the tyranny of the husband’s conscience.” Why is that?

5 Comments

  1. Avatar
    missimontana

    So, if the wife’s conscience tells her her pedophile husband abusing kids is wrong, and he overrides it and says she is wrong, then that makes it okay? Yeah, sounds like Evangelical advice.

  2. Avatar
    John Arthur

    Egalitarian marriages usually work better than so-called biblical complementarian marriages that most Fundamentalists say is biblical.

    Many Fundamentalist husbands, drunk with power and an authoritaran personality, make their submissive wives life on earth a hell.

    • Avatar
      Kel

      The way this brand of complementarianism is described, the husband is presumed to be a perfect, self-effacing, and morally blameless divine being. Any sane person would agree that this is a very laughable premise.

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