Evangelical zealots are known for bugging, harassing, and irritating people with their Bible-quoting, preaching, and all-around Bible masturbation in public. Believing they are commanded by God to go into all the world and bug the Hell out of people, Evangelicals couldn’t care less what you think about their efforts. Sinners need to hear the gospel, Evangelicals say. Death is certain and Hell is hot, souls must be rescued from eternal torture at the hands of the thrice-holy God in the Lake of Fire. What sinners think or want doesn’t matter. Evangelicals are God’s door-to-door salesmen, peddling the old-fashioned gospel. Always on the prowl looking for marks, Evangelicals go out into the highways and hedges demanding people listen to their JESUS SAVES sales pitch. Few of us will make it through this life without having at least one Evangelical trying to “save” us. Most of us will suffer through such ill-behavior numerous times, often by Evangelical pastors, evangelists, family members, and friends. No matter how often we object to Evangelicals not respecting our wishes and invading our personal space, soulwinners are determined to get us to pray the sinner’s prayer so they can put another notch on the gospel six-shooter. Don’t like it? Tough shit. What you think doesn’t matter.
Evangelical zealot James Hatt makes this very clear in a post titled Would You Mind Not Talking About Your Religious Book, Please?
Hatt writes:
The other day I ran into an atheist who hated it when Christians reasoned from, referred to, or quoted their “dumb holy book around her” because she believes it’s a work of fictitious nonsense that has no relevance.
My first thought was, well duh, of course atheists don’t like dumb holy books, why would they?
But is it a reasonable to have any expectation that a Christian should be willing to even temporarily set aside his or her dumb holy book?
Further, should a Christian ever consider not reasoning from, referring to, or quoting the Bible even as an act of good will, congeniality, or in the interest of political correctness?
NO! and NO!
First, setting aside the Bible because it offends the sensibilities of someone who is dead in sin is profoundly absurd. Their feelings about the Bible are theirs and not our concern. They hate it? So what.
These, of course, are the words of a bully, the words of a man who has no regard for personal boundaries. And Evangelicals wonder why they are one of the most hated sects in America. Only in the Evangelical world do people think it is okay to bully complete strangers. In fact, Evangelical colleges and churches teach pastors and congregants how to effectively bully people for Hey-Zeus. As a student at Midwestern Baptist College, I had to take evangelism classes EVERY semester. Not only that, I had to practice my skills twice a week on unsuspecting people.
So how do we respond to the Hatts of the world?
First, we can politely listen, all the while thinking we would like to cut their tongues out with a rusty, dull knife.
Second, we can stop their unwanted advances, and walk away.
Third, we can engage them, knowing that we likely know far more about the Bible than they do.
Fourth, we badger them in kind, giving them a taste of their own medicine. I do this with street preachers. I will stand near where they are screaming and start preaching the atheist gospel. Lots of fun, at least for me. 🙂
Fifth, we can tell them that they can take their Bibles and shove them up their asses or utter other words that are sure to turn their virgin ears red.
Remember, the Hatts of the world have no regard for us, not really. Oh, they say they love us and only want what’s best for us. But, the fact remains is that we are just a means to an end — new church members, increased offerings, and more worker bees for their churches. As those of us who were once devoted followers of Jesus before we deconverted learned, once you are no longer part of their club all the love, kindness, and acceptance disappear. We quickly learned that some of the nastiest, most hateful, mean-spirited people in America are Evangelical zealots. I have receipts if anyone dares to challenge my assertion.
I rarely have to deal with Evangelical evangelizers these days. I am the Village Atheist. Most local Evangelicals know who I am, know my backstory. I’ve watched evangelizers going door to door in our town, only to have them skip our home. Why is that? 🙂 Man, I might enjoy a bit of hand-to-hand combat on my front porch. Alas, I’ve been written off, one who is an apostate and a reprobate.
Most of my interaction with evangelizers comes through this blog. I have had thousands of interactions with Evangelicals determined to “save” me, “correct” me, show me the error of my way, or deconstruct my life. Years ago, I was more inclined to engage such people, treating our interactions as a blood sport. These days, I am more inclined to tell evangelizers to fuck off. Do they? Of course not. As sure as the sun comes up in the morning, one or more Evangelical zealots will send me an email or comment on my blog, saying that they speak for God, that what they have to say will bring me back to Hey-Zeus. Fifteen years in, I remain an unrepentant atheist. If you are keeping score, it’s Bruce- 2,666 and God- 0. Hey, today might be the day when James Hatt or one of his fellow evangelizers finally scores, and I return to faith once delivered to the saints. With Gawd, all things are possible, right? 🙂
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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But if one of them could bring you back into the fold, why, that person would have a big notch in his, what, bible post? Think of the street cred! You know, it might be fun to pretend one gets through and then laugh and say, “Haha, just kidding!”
poor lil’ Mr. Hat (cue South Park reference here). so desperate to get external validation, and to do exactly what ol’ JC himself said not to do, screech about his prayers and religion on literal and metaphorical street corners.
Years ago, I came back to my car. Under the windshield wiper was a Bible tract. This got me thinking, wouldn’t it be cool if atheist could do the same thing? You know a few well tuned atheist zingers. And of course we know when and where they’ll be parked on Sunday.
the Freedom From Religion Foundation has anti-tracts. https://shop.ffrf.org/?s=tract
If they can quote their Bible ot Quran or Book of Mormon at me, I can quote Star Wars or Harry Potter back at them. At least my books are entertaining while still conveying messages about good and evil.
And don’t get me started on Dragonlance or Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy or Discworld – I could easily keep them stuck at the door for three hours debating the divine merits of Paladine vs. Anoia vs. the Great Green Arkleseizure. 😀
Clearly these people didn’t get the memo to grab a towel and that meaning of life the universe and everything is 42.
I’ll make a deal: They can quote the Bible to me if I get to quote, oh, The Communist Manifesto, 120 Days of Sodom (in the original, if they like). Origin of the Species, Lady Chatterly’s Lover, Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl” or The Devil’s Dictionary. Since I’m becoming such a nice lady in my dotage, I’ll let them choose!