As many of you know, I had major surgery on my spine in August. By all accounts, the surgery was a success. Three months later, I am still recovering from the surgery. That said, I am being hammered on every side by chronic pain, gastroparesis, exocrine pancreatic insufficiency (EPI), fibromyalgia, and degenerative spine disease — all of which are incurable. These diseases are my cross to bear. My cross is increasingly heavy, leaving me, some days, in despair. I am also having a blood pressure problem. I am on three blood pressure medications, yet it wildly fluctuates. My primary care doctor made several adjustments to my medications, hoping this will lead to better numbers.
Thanks to a major gastroparesis flare-up and EPI, I am constantly nauseous, and since October 1, I have lost twenty-five pounds. I am on protein supplement shakes so I get enough calories in my diet.
For these reasons, my ability to write is limited, as I am sure you have noticed. My writing production has dropped precipitously. There’s little I can do other than hope for a better day. I saw a new pain doctor who put me on a buprenorphine patch, which is slowly being titrated. The doctor required that I stop using cannabis, which had helped with my pain and nausea. The doctors giveth, the doctors taketh away.
I am woefully behind on answering emails and sending thank-you notes to donors. I apologize for my tardiness, but there’s nothing I can do to change things. I hope things get better soon, and if and when they do, I will do my best to catch up on my correspondence. In time, I hope I can return to a fuller writing schedule. For now, what you see is what you get.
By the way, Polly will have her right knee replaced on December 30. She will be off work for eight weeks.
I appreciate your understanding as I navigate this new normal in my life.
Your kindness, love, and support are greatly appreciated.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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While I know that much of what you’ve been suffering from has no cure, I hope that the treatments will give you some relief from your pain. I enjoy reading what you write so I hope you’ll soon be able to do more of it. Best wishes and good thoughts. Jen
Yes, and I hope that Bruce can buy some DMSO, to see how it works for a liniment. I had no clue that it could be used for this purpose.
Bruce, I wish I knew how to heal you, or at least ease your pain. And I hope Polly’s knee replacement goes well. Love to both of you.
Yet still find time to blaspheme and bash the one who bled and died and rose again to save you.
RF, you again. Have you nothing better to do than to creep on this blog and pounce on someone else’s misfortune? If heaven exists (very doubtful) I hope that it isn’t full of people who behave as you do.
Bruce, wishing the best for you and Polly. The fact that you keep publishing despite your condition shows your high level of care for everyone (including myself) trying to sort through their religious experiences. If it is of any comfort, know that you have been a great help to me on my own journey, as I am sure you have for many others.
Best wishes and speedy recovery!
Well Bruce it sounds like rough going. But when the going gets tough, tough guys can handle it. For what it’s worth, I’d require a clear explanation why to stop cannabis. There’s irrational bias against it and some biased folks are Doctors. Without the gummies I don’t sleep. Simple as that. If there is a real need to stop cannabis, at least it’s not addictive, certainly not in my case. I was wary at first, thanks to the bias, but I don’t crave it even after daily use for a couple years. Hang in there Bruce. If I said I’ll pray for you, you’d know I’m pulling your leg. I do send my best wishes to you and Polly for better times ahead.
No wiggle room on this. It is part of the contract you sign with the pain clinic. They are definitely behind the times, but I have no other option. I have been to four pain doctors before this guy: one wouldn’t treat me at all, two who were more interested in doing high dollar procedures, and one doctor who was an asshole (who I should have reported to the state medical board). This guy is in his late 30s, quite progressive, and willing to help. However, he is bound by Parkview Hospitals rigid rules. I can still use cannabis as long as I stop at least 30 days before my next drug test. Of course, a random test would be a big problem. I see my primary care doctor next week. He’s not a cannabis fan, so I need to talk to him about other treatments for sleep. I have tried numerous treatments for insomnia over the past twenty-five years — most were worthless. Restoril, by far, worked the best, but thanks to new federal and state laws, doctors are no longer permitted to prescribe benzodiazepines if you are on opiates. Sadly, I am a victim of the war on opiates in a very conservative religious area. Fuck all of them.
I hate to say it,but most American doctors do suck ! As do these policies and protocols they cite as their excuses. Opiates used by seniors or disabled people should be exempted from such restrictions. Given my own fun times trying to get certain treatments, it’s hard to disagree with people who say that these ‘ care providers ‘ have a mandate to deprive patients and stress them out, resulting in shorter life spans. Some doctors have written books denouncing their own profession. All because of the above!
Bruce I recently re-discovered DMSO. It was sold without a scrip back in the 70s and 80s. I used it briefly with good effect until false reports it damaged eyesight. That was exaggerated but scared people, me included. About that time the government stopped human research on it. It fell out of use for humans although commonly used in veterinary medicine. I decided to try it again for recently acquired aches and pains. Applied topically like liniment, it appears to relieve pain. Doctors are very conservative so it may not be approved by your pain Docs. It can’t hurt to ask. It relieves my painful shoulders and carpal tunnel syndrome. I also used it with positive results on chronic skin lesions that refused to heal for years. Like cannabis, government prevented research on DMSO so how or why it works is not well understood but it is apparently very safe. I mention it to anyone who might benefit and they can try it or not. It’s available online and legal everywhere.
Thank you SO much for this tip ! I’m going to get some and try it. Especially the idea of using it as a liniment. I’ve been told about soaking pot in 99 % alcohol in a glass jar until the liquid turns black, then applying it with a clean paintbrush onto joints and sore bones. DMSO sounds easier to do.
Dear Bruce, I have been reading and lurking on your web incarnations for years. My neighbour, twenty or so years younger than me, has a litany of health and psych problems. So when I read your latest health update, I say to you what I say to my friend – “You poor bastard. I’ve only got cancer.” I wish you well, mate.
Thanks! ❤️❤️
I’ve battled skin cancer for years, paying for the “sins” of my youth. Basal cell on my nose and squamous cell on my lower lip and hip. No melanoma, and for that I am indeed grateful. I just finished using chemotherapy cream on my eyebrows , left hand. My eyebrows look like Polly has been beating on me. 🤣🤣
Sadly, we all have our crosses to bear. Live long enough and you will face and feel the weight of yours. As a pastor I saw people who horribly suffered from all sorts of diseases. Awful stuff. When I think of them, I don’t feel so bad. As you know, all pain and suffering is personal. I never make light of the suffering of others — even my five year old grandson who thinks the removal of a bandaid is akin to having his leg cut off without anesthesia. ❤️❤️
Thanks for commenting, Mark.
Best wishes Bruce. There’s nothing you can do to improve your condition other than what you already do, but know that your writing reaches and inspires many. Having such a close family must give you a lot of comfort.
I wanted to just say I’m sorry Bruce but my comment wasn’t long enough, hence this sentence length to say, I am sorry. It’s not easy.
Bruce, so sorry to hear that your health issues are still being a pain in the ass. You’ve probably become quite an expert at working through the shitty US Healthcare system. I hope this new pain doctor can help you.
That “Revival Fires” guy has just about the absolute worst “witness” of any Christian I have ever encountered. There is literally NOTHING about any of his interactions here that would cause me to say, “wow, Christianity must be great, I want to be more like that.” On the contrary, I think, “what a miserable, mean, horrible person RF is – whatever he is doing, I need to do the exact opposite.”
That’s because you look at the sinner instead of the sinless Savior. And one day you will regret that. Big time
Claim without merit, and your veiled threats carry no weight with me. Have a good one.
I thought people like Revival Liars were supposed to be “salt of the Earth”..very difficult for me to see Christ in someone who trolls Bruce while at the same time attempts to post vile pornographic responses to Black Collar Crime stories.
RF is just a depraved character who has no life,and wants to be noticed by making crazy statements. Plus he does NOT care enough about God to care how it makes Jesus or the creed look ! It really is all about RF, and this compulsion he’s had for many years. A form of OCD, most likely.
So then….you are comfortable making the sinless savior look worthless,with your sick and twisted thoughts that you type out here,for all the world to see ?? You say that one shouldn’t notice the ” sinner ” as you proudly refer to yourself. Far from defending Jesus, you are only harming his cause, and he looks weak, because he is unable to control you. At the end of your own life, you and he will have some very intense discussion about how you conducted yourself on Earth.
Sheep and goats, RF, sheep and goats.
Agreed, Obstaclechick ! He really doesn’t care about God like he claims to. If he truly did, he wouldn’t be so eager to keep sticking his feet into his mouth,lol !
Bruce,
I’m 65 so not much younger than you. Your health issues make my own seem inconsequential. I hope that you gain some level of satisfaction and inspiration from your supporters and of course this forumn. I really appreciate what you do and the messages you provide. I regret never having the pleasure of meeting you and Polly.
Please continue your important work and messaging. It’s refreshing to see someone brave enough to reveal important truths.
Thank you and best regards.
Sending you and Polly hugs. Hope things stay at least on an even keel for you both. 🤞🍀
I know what you are going through. I’ve been diagnosed with Colorectal cancer and have just started chemo and radiation. Chemo is no big deal. It’s relatively mild So no nausea or hair loss. Radiation takes 15 minutes a day but I’m stuck in the VA Hospital in Long Beach California. They’re treating me very well.
So sorry to hear that you are being treated for colorectal cancer. Polly and I are quite familiar with bowel problems. Polly had part of her colon and stomach removed four years ago — no cancer, though. I wish you well. I hope the chemo/radiation eradicate the remaining cancer.
Well Bruce yet another place we cross paths. I was sunburned within an inch of my life as a teenager. We swam all day the first warm day of spring. (Swisher’s pit south of Montpelier) We were pale as ghosts thanks to a long grey Buckeye winter of course. I’ve lost count of my skin cancers and in fact I had five lesions removed from my face last month. It’s a cautionary tale because every time I’ve had a lesion removed from my face, I’ve lost some hearing, thanks to the novacaine being oto-toxic. That five biopsy session left me deaf as a post with my ears whistling like a tea kettle. Fair warning to any and all, if you have to have skin surgery on your face, try to limit the number you have done at any one session to one or two at most. In the past most of my hearing recovered after a few weeks or months but this time it’s been so long I’m not optimistic.
Of course I join others in wishing the best for you and for Polly.
You have much wisdom to offer and the world owes you for that.
Sending you lots of love and best wishes from Blighty, I hope you find peace and comfort, you certainly deserve it.
I’m here if you need me, Bruce. You know how to find me. Thank you for all you do, even on the days you feel least like doing it.
That flippin’ ” Revival Fires ” has to be one of the most toxic, dysfunctional Americans I’ve ever run across!! His comments are more in line with blasphemy than the criticism any other commenter has used,up to this day. I am confident that it’s for the attention he gets for making sick statements like he’s been doing all these years. Obviously someone who has nothing to actually live for. Including Jesus himself.
Bruce, so sorry for the suffering and problems due to your ongoing health issues. Wishing the best on Polly’s surgery and your ongoing battle with doctors on treatments.
Happy Thanksgiving,Bruce, Polly and the family. I hope that everything goes well band the food is fantastic. And I wish the same for all us readers as well.
I hope you can get whatever relief you can Bruce. Sending the best to you and Polly as you deal with all of these things.