For those of us who drank deeply from the Evangelical well, we heard a lot of talk about Heaven — the place saved Evangelicals go after they die. Preacher after preacher, including myself when I entered the ministry in the 1970s, said that this life was preparation to meet God. We were told to focus on the important stuff: going to church, reading the Bible, praying, tithing, witnessing. These practices were meant to draw us closer to Jesus in preparation for the day we when draw our last breath and enter the pearly gates to meet Jesus face to face.
According to Revelation 21:1-5 says:
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples,
and God himself will be with them and be their God; he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.”And the one who was seated on the throne said, “See, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
Evangelicals will interpret these verses various ways, but the gist is that there is coming a day when every Christian, either through death or rapture, will be carried away to Heaven. This will be a glorious day, no more tears; no more death; no more mourning, crying, and pain. God himself says, “I am making ALL things new.” Most Evangelicals think God will make a new Heaven and a new earth. The former earth and universe will either be destroyed or renovated by fire. Christians will live in the New Jerusalem. No darkness, no night. Jesus is the light of the city. Sounds like an awesome place, right? No more pain really appeals to me, but then I think about the other things that go with an eternity in Heaven, and I quickly say, ‘No thanks, Jesus.” Bruce, aren’t you willing to “believe” if it means no more pain? No.
I have come to understand that we believe what we believe. We don’t choose our beliefs, as if, through libertarian free will, we “choose” whether to believe in Jesus. This is patently untrue, even if it “seems” differently to us. If you really believe we choose our beliefs, I ask you right now, Christians, to CHOOSE to be an atheist. Come on, you can do it! Come to the dark side. The weather is nice, the beer is cheap, and the company is awesome. Couldn’t choose? Why is that? We only believe that which convinces us. We evaluate evidence, and somewhere along the line we become convinced of one or more propositions, and we believe. I will believe in Jesus Christ the day I become convinced that the Christian gospel and the central claims of Christianity are true.
Two other questions remain for me:
- Who will live in Heaven with us?
- What will we do in Heaven for thirty trillion years?
According to Evangelicals, ONLY born-again people will live in Heaven after death. No Jews. No Muslims. No Buddhists. And certainly no agnostics, atheists, humanists, or pagans. Only Evangelicals need apply. This means that born again Jeffrey Dahmer — a serial killer who ate his victims — will be in Heaven, but moral, ethical atheists will be in Hell. That’s some fucked up thinking, is it not? Worse, think about spending eternity with the likes of fine Christians such as Revival Fires, Jaisen, John, James, Steve, and Dr. David Tee. Can you imagine them being your neighbors for eternity? I wonder of there will be suicide in Heave? 🙂
However long eternity is, human beings will live on in either Heaven or Hell (actually the eternal Kingdom of God and the Lake of Fire). What will Evangelicals do for eternity in Heaven? Some Evangelicals believe that eternity will be spent in community in a new Heaven and Earth. Everything will be perfect. I have heard some fantastical sermons about Heaven over the years, most without Scriptural warrant. According to this view of Heaven, life will be one long party, maybe like Mardi Gras without the beads, boobs, and booze. Or maybe Jesus will tell Evangelicals, “Hey that stuff is okay! Let’s party, brothers and sisters.”
Another dominate view of Heaven is the idea that eternity will be one never-ending praise and worship service. Evangelicals will spend eternity like Baptist Catholics, kneeling, standing, kneeling, standing . . . and singing. Lots and lots of singing. Can you imagine listening to masturbatory praise songs ad nauseam for millions of years. Kill me now. 🙂
How do preachers sell this nonsense to congregants? They convince themselves that an eternity of worshipping a narcissistic deity is the price one must pay for Jesus saving them from their sins.Ugh, no thanks. I might be convinced of the party Heaven if we can move Revival Fires, Jaisen, John, James, Steve, and Dr. David Tee outside the city gates, never to be seen again. Or maybe they could be tasked with cleaning the sewers in Heaven. These giants of the faith have a lot of expertise in “shit,” so it shouldn’t be too hard to teach them to clean up in the next life what they refuse to clean up in this life.
The Evangelical Heaven doesn’t appeal to many of us. One life is sufficient, and we plan to live life to its fullest. Only one life, ‘twill soon be past, and then you are dead. Harsh? Sure, but nonetheless true. If you have evidence to the contrary, please leave it in the comment section.
Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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