Have You Ever Wanted to Cut Off Your Legs? I Have and I Still Want To

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You know it’s a bad day pain-wise when you find yourself doing a Google search on “Does removing legs make severe axonal neuropathic pain go away?”

Google reminded me that doing so will not necessarily stop the pain. I could end up with phantom pain worse than before.

I just want the pain to stop. Is that too much to ask?

Duh, of course it is.

We often think doctors are miracle workers, but when it comes to severe nerve pain, medical professionals have very few treatments in their bag of tricks: Gabapentin, pain meds, injections, ablations, hot/cold packs, and implanted nerve stimulator.

Rarely are these treatments permanent; and that is if you can get insurance to pay for it.

Unfortunately, as chronic nerve pain patients will tell you, this sort of pain rarely goes away, regardless of the treatment.

Personally, I’m grateful for whatever relief I can find, but some days I wonder . . . and when I “wonder” it can lead to interesting Google searches.

I still have both legs. All I want is for the pain to stop. Until that happens, I have no other option but to bite hard on the stick of modern medicine, hoping for a bit of relief.

Comments

6 responses to “Have You Ever Wanted to Cut Off Your Legs? I Have and I Still Want To”

  1. Avatar
    Scott Friesen

    Hi Bruce,
    I know you don’t like health suggestions, but if you get a chance,
    please read this article about DMSO by A Midwestern Doctor. This us different.
    https://open.substack.com/pub/amidwesterndoctor/p/how-dmso-heals-nerves-and-eliminates?r=38sk2&utm_medium=ios

  2. Bruce, I wish I knew how to stop your pain,

    1. BJW

      Constant pain really does suck. (See my comment.) Now, Bruce’s family knows he’s sick. My family knows I’m sick. But there are people that believe our type of illness is a lack of willpower…just power through it! Honestly, I’d love for those people to get what we have, if just for a time (a week of the worst would do wonders, I bet).

  3. Avatar
    John S.

    Bruce, i hope you find relief from the constant pain. Having dealt with back issues in the past, I can tell you the pain comes to dominate everything in your life. People who don’t or haven’t experienced this kind of pain just can’t (or don’t want to) understand why you’re not interested in activities or aren’t in the mood to engage in social activities.
    I know I’m repeating myself, but I think the fact that you continue to write and correspond with your readers despite your chronic pain is a testament to your good character as a person.

  4. BJW

    I feel you. I’m sitting here at home, after a good, long night of sleep (THC fueled), wondering if I can fight through the added layer of Long Covid this day. I don’t usually think I’ve had the worst pain; the way you describe your pain I have usually thought it sounded much worse than mine. Until my osteoarthritis decided all my joints were going to have sharp, stabbing pains on top of the pain of muscles, ligaments and tendons…ha!

    Our son Henry has fibromyalgia. He got sick when he was 14, and he never recovered and he’s 31. He doesn’t remember what it is like to be healthy. But now Jacob and Henry are worrying about husband and me, since husband has cancer reoccurring in the brain. Bob’s treatment sends him to the sofa, barely able to get up. Me? I think the guys are thankful that I do laundry and other light housework every day, or I can take some shortcuts.

    I have had those moments more lately, where I’m in bed, probably falling asleep because the pain is duller, BUT…! Feeling the dull but all-encompassing never-ending 24/7/365 pain, I have thought, “Well, if I die tonight, at least I won’t hurt.” I have no desire to kill myself. But death would relieve all the pain.

  5. Avatar

    Yes. 🙁

    I wrote much more than this but really, the entire enterprise of “pain” is vast and highly personal. I’m so sorry you, others and even myself have to feel this way. <3

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