Warning: MAGA Republicans and Donald Trump are thoroughly filleted, roasted, and fed to feral cats in this post. If your fascist fee-fees are easily hurt, do NOT read this post. If you are a feral cat, I apologize for grouping you together with such miscreants.
You’ve been warned!😜 If you ignore my “sincere” warning, and read this anyway, Preparation H will be provided for hemorrhoid irritation and inflammation at the end of the post. 😜
Last week, diehard MAGA fans and fearful legislators gathered in Dallas, Texas for two days of masturbatory worship of their King, Lord, and Savior Donald Trump. Truly, the sick display of fealty and devotion to Trump had all the markings of a fundamentalist religious cult, complete with Senator Tim Scott acting as if he were demon possessed.
Trump, of course, was vintage huckster, delivering speeches filled with lies, deceit, half-truths, distortions, mockeries, and wild promises he can’t possibly deliver.
Trump, thinking money can buy anything — and to-date he’s right — delivered the promises of promises: a $5,000 check to very American adult. Of course, Trump could fulfill this $1.3 trillion budget buster today, with a little help from his co-conspirators in crime, Congressional Republicans. And more than likely, a few Democrats afraid of voters turning turning on them if they don’t get their part of the largest socialist transfer of wealth in U.S. history, will support Trump’s promise too.
Is this illegal? Trump put a condition on the promise: taxpayers must vote in Republican majorities in both the House and Senate. In other words, Trump wants to use tax money to bribe voters to vote for Republicans in November. Bribing voters is still illegal, right? Well, it was until the faux golden age of Trumpism. According to some experts, since Trump is giving “Trump Dividends” to all adults, it is technically not a bribe. Ah yes, “technically.” Who better exploits technicalities like the man who wrote “The Art of the Steal.”
Now that oligarchs and robber barons control every branch of government, there are no norms, decency, or morality. All that matters is the 1,000 year reign of MAGA. Well, that and making lots and lots of money off the bowed backs of the American people.
Enter Ohio U.S. Senator Bernie Moreno, a man whose brown nose is never far from his master’s ass. The toddler-in-chief is screaming for a lollipop, and Moreno, wanting to get a big gold star beside his name, promised to write a bill funding Trump’s bribery scheme. If Ohioans had any doubt, Moreno has the morals of, well, Donald Trump. I was going to say alley cat, but I didn’t want to besmirch the good name of alley cats everywhere.
Ohio U.S. Sen. Bernie Moreno is drafting legislation to fund President Donald Trump’s new promise: $5,000 to every adult citizen if the Republicans maintain their majority in the midterms.
Trump acknowledged in his speech at the GOP’s midterm convention in Dallas on Wednesday that this year’s elections are competitive. He offered an unprecedented incentive to vote.
“If the Republicans win the House of Representatives and the United States Senate, both of them, because of our economic, tremendous economic success… I will issue a dividend to every adult citizen in the United States of America for $5,000,” Trump said.
This money would have stipulations, the president added, saying it could only be spent in the United States.
Michael McGovern, president of progressive organization Innovation Ohio, said it’s another empty promise.
“This is the same party that has cracked down on people’s ability to give out water or pizza to people waiting in line to vote, now is throwing around $5000 but ‘only if you vote for us?’” McGovern said. “I don’t know if that passes the smell test, and really reeks of desperation.”
The president did not give details on how he would provide $5,000 to all 270 million adults, costing more than a trillion dollars.
“Is it possible? The short answer is no, unless Congress were to appropriate the money,” retired Case Western Reserve University law professor Jonathan Entin said.
Moreno, Ohio’s senior senator who attended the speech on Wednesday, was the first to offer help.
“I will get a bill ready so that we can get the Trump Dividend passed immediately after the November 3rd election … because Republicans (and America) will win!” Moreno said in a post on X.
It’s illegal to buy votes, but the payouts wouldn’t just go to Republicans, Entin said.
“It says, ‘I will pay every American however they voted,’” he explained.
And even if it feels like a bribe?
“Who is going to prosecute him?” Entin asked. “Even former presidents have very broad immunity from criminal prosecution in connection with their official actions.”
And where is Ohio’s other feckless senator Jon Husted in all of this? According to news reports, he is thinking about it, and wants to learn “more.” More, my ass. Much like his fellow Republican, Moreno, Husted lacks any capability to act independently of the Orange Wizard.
I have no doubt Moreno and Husted agree with Trump when he says the $5,000 payments will be issued because of our “tremendous economic success.” Trump wants people to believe that his tariffs and the record investments of business have brought about $21 trillion of economic growth. This, of course, is a bald-faced lie. Much like Trump saying he is paying for his big, beautiful $600 million ballroom, there’s no truth in the president’s promise. If Moreno’s bill passes both houses after the election, the authorized payments will increase the federal budget deficit by $1.3 trillion dollars. If passed, this bill will increase Trump’s national debt total to almost $15 trillion during his six years in office. Think about that for a moment: $15 trillion in six short years; over one-third of the total national debt.
What happened to Republicans being the party of fiscal responsibility? You’re kidding, right? They have NEVER been the party of monetary responsibility; not since Ronald Reagan and the trickle-down economics lie told to Americans forty-five years ago.
There are three planks— one plank each for the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost they feign to worship — in the Republican platform: criminalizing abortion, giving massive tax cuts to the rich, and giving the MAGA king whatever he wants.
So what do we do? The only thing we can do is vote. Seems simple, but half of eligible voters rarely, if ever, vote. We need these voters, along with disaffected Republicans, to vote Democratic in November. I don’t care who is on the ticket, I will vote only for Democrats this year. I don’t like my choices this year: Sherrod Brown and Marcy Kaptur, but I’d vote for a Democratic zombie extra from The Walking Dead before I’d vote for a Republican.
Every two years the various political parties scream “the sky is falling,” but this election season the warning is warranted. If Democrats can’t win majorities in Congress, nothing will stand in the way of the Trumpist overthrow of our republic. What about the senate filibuster, Bruce? You’re kidding, right? Are you really this stupid? If Republicans win in November, they will use the reconciliation process to give Trump most of what he wants. The rest? I predict they will abolish the filibuster in one, simple majority stab in the heart of American democracy.
Our future really comes down to your vote. Will you do what’s best for our country? I hope so.
And for Republicans who read this post, I lied about the Preparation H, just like Trump did about $5,000 Oprah-like checks. You deserve all the ass pain you get if you vote for Republican candidates in November. Your ass deserves better — Vote Democrat!
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