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Category: Evangelicalism

Yes, I Know Almost Everything

know it all

Yes, I know almost everything about . . .

Christianity

Protestantism

Catholicism, West and East

Western Christianity

American Christianity

Evangelical Christianity

Calvinism

Arminianism

Soteriology

Eschatology

Ecclesiology

Pneumatology

Hermeneutics

Inspiration

Infallibility

Inerrancy

Errors

Contradictions

Variants

How many times do I need to read a book until I know its contents?

I know the Bible from cover to cover

Fifty years in the Christian church

Twenty-five years as a pastor

4,000 sermons

20,000 hours spent reading and studying the Bible

What are you going to tell me that I do not already know?

I am not an atheist because of ignorance, I am an atheist because of knowledge

You believe

I don’t

You have faith

I don’t

Call me a fool

An apostate

A false prophet

But don’t insult me by suggesting that there is something I don’t know about Christianity, God, Jesus, or the Bible, and if I just had THIS knowledge or read THIS book I would then see the light, repent, and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.

Will you “hear” what I have written here?

Of course not

I wish I could test out of this class you think I need to take

Then maybe you will stop . . .

Forget it

You will never stop

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

There Are No Flowers in Hell, a Local Man Tells Me

tulips 2015
Tulips, yard of Bruce and Polly Gerencser, 2015

In response to a letter I wrote to the editor of the Defiance Crescent-News, an elderly local Christian sent me the following letter:

Bruce,

Please reconsider. Even if we choose to believe there is no hell, doesn’t make it so. I saw the pictures of flowers you posted and it showed how you enjoyed them. In Hell, you will never be able to enjoy anything. There will only be torment forever and ever. I don’t want anyone to go to that place and certainly God does not want that for you either. When you truly come to know Jesus, you will gladly and willingly surrender your all to Him and following His commands will not be burdensome to you. It will just flow out of your heart of love for Him.

Perhaps you were a religious person who never truly had a relationship with Him. I beg you – please reconsider before it is too late for you. He loves you so much. The precious blood of Jesus was shed for you, don’t let it be in vain. What about your wife, children, and grandchildren? If you die and go to hell, you will regret that you had a part in taking them there with you, and you will want someone to go and tell them the truth.

Please reconsider. Count the cost. This life is so short, but eternity is forever. Wouldn’t it be better to endure this life and all it’s problems with Jesus, than to be in hell for eternity and have to bow down to the authority of God anyway? I pray God give revelation to you and your family regarding heaven and hell. I say all this in the love of Jesus. I know this will be considered as evangelism, but please read it. I pray you make the right decision.

Let me summarize. Why should I become a Christian?

  • I love flowers and there are no flowers in hell.
  • Because I was a religious person who never really knew Jesus.
  • So I don’t have to be accountable for my wife, children, and grandchildren going to hell.

Is this the best that Christianity offers theses days? As the writer said:

Wouldn’t it be better to endure this life and all it’s problems with Jesus, than to be in hell for eternity and have to bow down to the authority of God anyway?

My answer is no. I would rather endure this life and all its problems without a deity, knowing that when I draw my last breath I have lived my life well and that I can, with peaceful assurance say, this is enough.

I have no doubt that the person who sent me this is sincerely concerned for my spiritual welfare. Been there, done that. Christians need to understand that I am an intractable atheist. Arguments like those found in this letter are shallow, contradictory, and easily refuted.  Better for this man to seek after those who have some interest in the Christian message . There is nothing a Christian can say to me that is going to make me suddenly see the error of my way and cause me to repent. Experts have tried, but here I am, wallowing in my depravity, enjoying my last few moments on earth before I step out into eternity and join Hitch in hell.

One Millions Moms Upset Over FOX Making the Devil Likeable and Human

lucifer morningstar
Actor Tom Ellis will portray Lucifer Morningstar on FOX’s TV Show Lucifer

Snark and sarcasm

Another day, another faux outrage by Monica Cole and the sexually frustrated, batteries in the vibrator are dead, women of One Million Moms. Later this year, FOX plans on debuting a TV show titled Lucifer. FOX describes the show this way:

The Devil has come to Los Angeles…

Based upon the characters created by Neil Gaiman, Sam Kieth and Mike Dringenberg for DC Entertainment’s Vertigo imprint, LUCIFER is the story of the original fallen angel. Bored and unhappy as the Lord of Hell, LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR (Tom Ellis, “Merlin”) has abandoned his throne and retired to L.A., where he owns Lux, an upscale nightclub.

Charming, charismatic and devilishly handsome, Lucifer is enjoying his retirement, indulging in a few of his favorite things – wine, women and song – when a beautiful pop star is brutally murdered outside of Lux. For the first time in roughly 10 billion years, he feels something awaken deep within him as a result of this murder. Compassion? Sympathy? The very thought disturbs him – as well as his best friend and confidante, MAZIKEEN aka MAZE (Lesley-Ann Brandt, “The Librarians”), a fierce demon in the form of a beautiful young woman.

The murder attracts the attention of LAPD homicide detective CHLOE DANCER (Lauren German, “Chicago Fire”), who initially is dismissive of Lucifer. But she becomes intrigued by his talent for drawing out people’s secrets and his desire to dispense justice, doling out punishment to those who deserve it. As they work together to solve the pop star’s murder, Lucifer is struck by Chloe’s inherent goodness. Accustomed to dealing with the absolute worst of humanity, Lucifer is intrigued by Chloe’s apparent purity and begins to wonder if there’s hope for his own soul yet.

At the same time, God’s emissary, the angel AMENADIEL (DB Woodside, “Suits,” “24”), has been sent to Los Angeles to convince Lucifer to return to the underworld…can the Devil incarnate be tempted toward the side of Good, or will his original calling pull him back toward Evil?

One Million Moms is outraged over FOX’s unbiblical, humanizing presentation of Lucifer. In a May 2015 post urging Mommies to sign a petition demanding FOX drop the program, Cole wrote:

FOX has plans in 2016 to air “Lucifer,” a new series which will glorify Satan as a caring, likable person in human flesh.

The series will focus on Lucifer portrayed as a good guy, “who is bored and unhappy as the Lord of Hell.” He resigns his throne, abandons his kingdom and retires to Los Angeles, where he gets his kicks helping the LAPD punish criminals.

At the same time, God’s emissary, the angel Amenadiel, has been sent to Los Angeles to convince Lucifer to return to the underworld.

Previews of the pilot episode depict graphic acts of violence, a nightclub featuring scantily-clad women and a demon…

Today, I got an email from Monica Cole and One Million Moms with the subject line “We are missing your name on the ‘Lucifer’ petition.” I thought, I bet you are. Here’s what Cole had to say in her email:

Very soon, One Million Moms will deliver a petition to FOX television network, urging them to cancel plans to air a new series which will glorify Satan as a caring, likable person in human flesh.

We want to include your name, letting FOX know that Christians are standing together!

The previews for “Lucifer” misrepresent Satan, depart from true biblical teachings about him, and inaccurately portray the beliefs of the Christian faith. In airing this show, FOX will be disrespecting Christianity and mocking the Bible.

Add your signature today! 1MM and our children are counting on you!

It’s a pretty slow news day when the biggest thing on your outrage radar is a TV program that “misrepresents Satan.”

Cole whines that FOX’s show disrespects Christianity and mocks the Bible. Aww…so sorry.

Here’s my take. Tom Ellis is an attractive actor and we can’t have fundamentalist Christian women getting all hot and bothered over an attractive Lucifer. If this happened, fundamentalist women would be forced be dig deep into their underwear drawer and find their vibrator so they can satisfy their “need.” But, Bruce, they have a husband who will dutifully perform the missionary service. What  self-respecting fundamentalist Christian woman would want to have sex with Billy Bob when they can fantasize about having sex with Lucifer and turn their Passion Rabbit or Ladygasm vibrator on H-I-G-H.

Proving my point, as of today, the Lucifer petition has 19,048 signatures. If you want to add your name, or better yet a fake name, please go here.

lucifer petition

Here’s my petition submission. I encourage you to be creative and let Monica Cole know you support her attempt to defend Lucifer.

petition submission

I have written about One Million Moms before: One Million Moms Offended Over Old Woman Flashing Her Husband in Taco Bell Commercial, One Million Moms Outraged Over Women Not Wearing Underwear, One Millions Moms Says a Boy is a Boy Even if She is a Girl, The Bankruptcy of the Evangelical Gospel, and Follow the Money: The American Family Association and their Support of the Gay Agenda.

Dear Peter LaBarbara, If Gays Aren’t Born That Way Neither are Heterosexuals

peter labarbera
Peter LaBarbera

One of Dennis Hastert’s alleged victims was a gay man who died of AIDS in 1995.  Peter La Barbara, the homophobic director of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality, wrote a post about this man, suggesting that Hastert “made” the man into a homosexual. Here’s what LaBarbara had to say:

“The is a gripping aspect to this story that most media would dare not cover or investigate: the sad reality that there are many “gay” “Steve Reinboldts” out there: victims of adult homosexual predators–victims whose “gayness” was effectively chosen for them by alleged abusers like Hastert. The media and the powerful LGBT Lobby want us to believe that men and women are “born gay,” or at least that this is a “natural” sexual identity. Yet the many testimonies of homosexual men and women who recall being sexual abused as a child–they might not call it ‘abuse’–by an adult or an an older teen or a sibling, suggests otherwise. Common sense tells us that such predatory abuse scars and confuses the victim and influences his choice to embrace a deviant and immoral sexual lifestyle. And common sense also tells us that homosexuals who acknowledge childhood sexual abuse in their past yet assert that it has nothing to do with their out-and-proud “gay” identity are in deep, deep denial.”

Now, let me change a few words:

“The is a gripping aspect to this story that most media would dare not cover or investigate: the sad reality that there are many “heterosexual ” “Steve Reinboldts” out there: victims of adult heterosexual predators–victims whose “heterosexuality ” was effectively chosen for them by alleged abusers like Hastert. The media and the powerful Heterosexual Lobby want us to believe that men and women are “born heterosexual ,” or at least that this is a “natural” sexual identity. Yet the many testimonies of heterosexual men and women who recall being sexual abused as a child–they might not call it ‘abuse’–by an adult or an an older teen or a sibling, suggests otherwise. Common sense tells us that such predatory abuse scars and confuses the victim and influences his choice to embrace a deviant and immoral sexual lifestyle. And common sense also tells us that heterosexuals who acknowledge childhood sexual abuse in their past yet assert that it has nothing to do with their out-and-proud “heterosexual ” identity are in deep, deep denial.”

See how easy that was, Peter LaBarbera?

Pastor Steven Anderson Hates Bruce

steven anderson bruce jenner

Snark/sarcasm ahead

Steven Anderson, pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church, Tempe Arizona, has a huge hard-on for Caitlyn Jenner. Well, I shouldn’t  say huge hard-on because Anderson is a small-minded, small dick narcissist who loves to say outlandish things so he can continue his five minutes of media fame. While I would love to say that Anderson is an outlier, his type can be found in every Evangelical sect. Anderson happens to hail from the Jack Hyles wing of  the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church movement. He prides himself in being uneducated, as does his wife Zsuzsanna. If you have not read my post Understanding Steven Anderson, Pastor Faithful Word Baptist Church, Tempe, Arizona, I encourage you to do.

When I first read Anderson’s quote, I thought to myself, Anderson is upset at me. After all, when you do I Google Search for Pastor Steven Anderson, my post about him is usually in the top five to fifteen search results. The ranking varies depending on if the news media has done any reporting on Anderson.  Sadly, Anderson had BRUCE JENNER in mind, not Bruce Gerencser, even though, as one Facebook commenter said, “Don’t feel bad, Bruce. I’m sure he hates you, too!

The Homophobia of Focus on the Family, Samaritan’s Purse, and Franklin Graham

wells fargo

When Wells Fargo hosed and took advantage of the poor by giving them sub prime mortgages they couldn’t afford, Focus on the Family, Samaritan’s Purse, and Franklin Graham said nothing. When a judge fined Wells Fargo for overdraft practices and charges that gouged and took advantage of poor customers, Focus on the Family, Samaritan’s Purse, and Franklin Graham said nothing. When Wells Fargo was fined for repeated mortgage irregularities and fraud, Focus on the Family, Samaritan’s Purse, and Franklin Graham said nothing. When Wells Fargo:

…settled a suit with 24,000 Florida homeowners alongside insurer QBE, in which they were accused of inflating premiums on forced-place insurance. In May 2013, Wells Fargo paid $203 million to settle class-action litigation accusing the bank of imposing excessive overdraft fees on checking-account customers. Also in May, the New York attorney-general, Eric Scheidermann, announced a lawsuit against Wells Fargo over alleged violations of the national mortgage settlement, a $25 billion deal struck between 49 state attorneys and the five-largest mortgage servicers in the US. Schneidermann claimed Wells Fargo had violated rules over giving fair and timely serving…

Focus on the Family, Samaritan’s Purse, and Franklin Graham said nothing.

No matter how  Wells Fargo treated poor and minority customers, Focus on the Family, Samaritan’s Purse, and Franklin Graham said nothing. Yet, when Wells Fargo runs a one minute ad featuring a lesbian couple, THEN Focus on the Family, Samaritan’s Purse, and Franklin Graham decided to say something.  Here’s the ad:

Video Link

Outside of the fact that the couple is two women, is there anything in this video that is remotely offensive?

Here’s what is offensive; the homophobia and bigotry of Focus on the Family, James Dobson, Samaritan’s Purse, Franklin Graham, Tim Wildmon, and the American Family Association.

According to Buddy Smith, vice president of the American Family Association:

Wells Fargo’s history follows a pattern from which it has not wavered. Over the past few years, Wells Fargo has marched in scores of “Gay Pride Parades,” advertised monthly in gay magazines and websites, and has endorsed “Gay Pride Month.”

Wells Fargo has earned Human Rights Campaign’s highest “gay” award 13 years in a row, including paying for employee sex-change operations and associated mental therapy.

Again, where’s the offense? All I see is a major banking concern treating their employees fairly and providing for them necessary medical care. As far as Wells Fargo courting gay money, last I knew gay money spends and earns interest just like heterosexual and fundamentalist Christian money.

Who would you want to do business with?

Franklin Graham:

“This is one way we as Christians can speak out – we have the power of choice. Let’s just stop doing business with those who promote sin and stand against Almighty God’s laws and His standards. Maybe if enough of us do this, it will get their attention.”

…“that use shareholders’ advertising dollars to promote homosexuality. … It’s promoting a godless lifestyle. … A bank should be promoting the best interest rates they’re going to give me and what they can do for me as a business. But they should not be trying to get into a moral debate and take sides.”…

Wells Fargo:

“At Wells Fargo, serving every customer is core to our vision and values. Diversity and inclusion are foundational to who we are as a company. Our advertising content reflects our company’s values and represents the diversity of the communities we serve.”

Graham, knowing that his actions make him look like a homophobic bigot, let it be known that he was not targeting companies that hire or serve gay and lesbian customers. Sure, Franklin, sure. This is exactly what you are doing.

I expect more Evangelical temper tantrums once the U.S. Supreme Court legalizes same-sex marriage. On the day this is announced, if you listen closely you will hear the air being sucked out of Focus on the Family, James Dobson, Samaritan’s Purse, Franklin Graham, Tim Wildmon, the American Family Association, and other extremist fundamentalist Christian groups. WE can only hope so much air is sucked out that these groups die, never to be heard from again.

Perhaps it is time for Christians who value justice and fairness to stop supporting Franklin Graham. Perhaps it is time for Christians of good will to stop putting shoe boxes together for Samaritan’s Purse.  Perhaps it is time for Christians to ask why Franklin Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, and Samaritan’s Purse is sitting on hundreds of millions of dollars? Shouldn’t the money be going out as fast as it comes in? Surely, there are still plenty of the “right” kind of disenfranchised, homeless, and poor people to help?

Here’s what I think of Franklin Graham. He is an educated Fred Phelps and Steven Anderson. He represents everything that is reprehensible and wrong with Evangelical Christianity. Here’s the good news and the bad news:

franklin graham

On Monday June 5th Graham took to Facebook to express his outrage over Wells Fargo’s offense against almighty God. Since then, his screed has attracted 98,235 likes and 44,517 shares. Bad news? There are 98,325 people who think like Franklin Graham. Good news? There are ONLY 98,325 who clicked LIKE on his childish tantrum.  Graham is getting a lot of press now, but remember that his media presence is much larger than his actual influence. He is just another Evangelical hack demanding everyone live by his interpretations of an ancient, outdated, contradictory, and, at times offensive, religious text. Justice and fairness continue to march forward, trampling over the dead corpses of people like James Dobson, Tim Wildmon, and Franklin Graham. Perhaps, one day, justice will prevail.

Notes

I am starting to wonder if Franklin Graham is a closeted gay. He sure spends a lot of time talking about things being rammed/crammed down his throat.

Beecher Proch Blames Girls for Boys Being Visually Attracted to Girls

beecher proch
Beecher Proch

Snark ahead. Girl and woman used interchangeably.

The shaming of the fairer sex by a Christian fundamentalist is on public display at Girl Defined: Getting Back to God’s Design. Today’s shaman is Beecher Proch.  Part of a family singing group, 4 Proches, Proch has a blog and is part of Broch Productions, a Christian film company. You can also find Proch on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. He is a 2014 graduate of Pat Robertson’s Regents University and has written articles for several websites that cater to primarily a young female Evangelical Christian clientele, including Lies Young Women Believe and  A Lovely Calling.  I could find no articles by Proust on male focused sites, so it makes me wonder, with all the writing on female focused sites,  if Proch is trolling for a covered up, hot Christian woman. Or, perhaps he is, oh, I don’t dare go there.

Proch views American culture this way:

In today’s culture modesty is totally out of style. The phrase that I’d say best describes the current trend would be “less is more – show your skin.” Skin is everywhere: billboards, magazines, social media – everyone everywhere seems to be attempting to show off as much skin as possible and draw as much attention to themselves as they can.

The American culture is constantly putting the *wrong* message into girls’ heads. “If you don’t flaunt what you’ve got, guys are going to pass you over and move on to the skin-revealing, midriff-baring, hottie.”

Right away, Proch uses the word “modesty, a word he never defines other than to suggest immodest is showing too much flesh. How much flesh showing is too much? A little leg, a little cleavage, a little shapely form?

Proch assumes to know why women dress the way they do. In his mind, any woman who exceeds his modesty standard is trying to attract attention to themselves or is out to get a man. I will leave it to the women who read this blog to educate the young, unmarried, and I assume virginal Master Proch.

Proch buys into the notion that men are visual and women are not. While men certainly demonstrate their desire through a gaze, a look, or a creepy look, women are also visually attracted to men and other women. After Polly and I deconverted, we talked about this subject many times. I wanted to know what type of men, beside the stud muffin she is married to, Polly was attracted to. At first, fearing it would offend me, she didn’t want to say. Now, she freely gives her opinion on the male form. She really liked the movie Magic Mike, a psychological  thriller about a man who does magic shows for children. I am always surprised at the type and look of men she likes. I’ll see an attractive actor on TV and I’ll ask, do you find him attractive? The man I think she will think is hot is rarely right.

Each of us process the visual world differently. Do men view the world differently from women? Sure. But, is this a genetic difference or the result of social conditioning, parental training, religious influence, education, and personal likes and dislikes? Again, I will leave it to female readers to educate Proch.

Before Proch launches into his version of slut shaming, he makes it clear that:

…men are 100% accountable for where they put their eyes, and what they do with what they see once it enters their mind…

And then he says BUT,

…But I also know this: it sure is a blessing and encouragement when a woman makes the effort to dress modestly.

A woman who doesn’t reveal as much skin as she can shows love and consideration for the men around her striving to pursue godliness…

In other words, if women really love and care for weak, pathetic, helpless, sex-crazed, vagina seeking Evangelical men, they will make sure they watch Little House on the Prairie and Little Women to learn how to dress.  Either that or let Proch educate them on exactly what the Bible says about modesty. According to Prouch:

Modesty is Biblical! It shows that a woman understands who she is in Christ and that she knows she’s valued by God. A woman’s body is beautiful and amazing. There’s no embarrassment in how different the shape of a woman’s body is from a man’s.

Modesty doesn’t hide the difference, it clearly acknowledges it with the correct attitude and focus on God’s creative differences in body shape. Immodesty focuses on the body with the wrong attitudes of lust, pride, and self-focus.

Proch demands that Evangelical women and women everywhere adhere to his understanding of modesty. He even gives some rules he wishes women would abide by. Remember, these rules are derived from his interpretation of the Bible, so this means that these rules were given to Proch by God on Mount Sinai:

  • Dress modestly! Cover up the cleavage, ditch the short shorts, and go for some fashionable, but modest, clothing. Convictions in this area will differ, but I think we can all agree that clothing which blatantly draws attention to certain parts of your body isn’t modest. Do the mirror check before heading out the door.
  • Think twice before posting that photo to social media. Are you holding your photos on Facebook and Instagram to the same standards you yourself hold in real life? Could the photos you post cause others to stumble? Here’s a great post by Kristen about seductive selfies that will challenge your posting standards.
  • Ask yourself this catchy little phrase: “Is it too high at the bottom, too low at the top, or too tight around the curves?” Then respond appropriately.

Proch goes even further by suggesting that a woman can cover herself up and still have an immodest spirit and attitude. This spirit and attitude is shown in how the woman carries herself, whatever that means. I suppose he can look in a woman’s eyes or watch her walk and discern that she has an immodest spirit and attitude?

Here’s the bottom line for Proch; women need to get right with God. According to him, immodest dress is a sign of a heart problem:

I Corinthians 6:20 tells us to “…glorify God in your body.” The next time you go to put on those shorts with the 2 inch inseam, or the shirt that reveals cleavage, ask yourself, “Is this really glorifying to God? Will it direct people’s thoughts towards God, or will it lead them somewhere else with their thoughts (and eyes)?” Remember your ultimate end is to honor God with every single thing you do.

I know, nothing new here. Just another screed by an Evangelical man who blames women for the moral (using the word moral as Evangelicals do) failing of weak, pathetic, sex-crazed, visually stimulated Evangelical men. Out here in the evil world of unwashed, uncircumcised Philistines, men are generally required to own their sexuality. It is up to me to choose how I sexually respond to others. I am a married man in a committed, monogamous relationship. This fact determines the parameters of my sexuality. That said, my wife doesn’t scold or chide me when I enjoy female beauty or comment on the female shape. She gives me a boys will be boys look and is quite glad I still look at her the same way.  Beecher Proch needs to grow up and spend some time in a world that is not dominated by Christian fundamentalism. Perhaps then he can learn to not blame women for the sexual ills of males. His post is little more than another example of the slut shaming that is all too common in Evangelicalism. (please see my recent post Dear Kristen Welch, How to Make Sure Your Teen Age Son Can’t Handle His Sexuality and Rebecca Davis Worried About Her Lustful Four Year Old Ogling A Woman Wearing a Bikini and other post on human sexuality)

 

World Renowned Clothing Designer Zsuzsanna Anderson Brings to Market King James Virgin Bathing Suit

World renowned Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) clothing designer Zsuzsanna Anderson has brought to market a new line of bathing suits that is sure to strike fear in the heart of bikini designers everywhere. As a lifelong observer of the female body, I predict that Anderson’s new line of bathing suits will result in 17th century women everywhere groveling before their husbands, begging them to buy them a 100% Lycra/Spandex King James Virgin bathing suit.

I know God-fearing culotte wearing Jesus loving women are peeing their white full-bodied underwear in anticipation of seeing what the King James Virgin bathing suit looks like, so without further snark I give you:

I know you want to own a King James Virgin bathing suit, so, before these $80 testaments to sexual repression and shame are sold out, go to Cute and Covered and buy yours today.

In 2016, Anderson plans to design and release what she is calling her greatest work yet, Faithful Word Chastity Belts. Embroidered with  verses from the 1611 King James Version of the Bible, these belts are sure to keep frisky, sexually repressed unmarried Baptist men from impregnating you. Get one now because we know there was only one virgin birth.

Zsuzanna Anderson did not compensate me in any way for writing this glowing, heartfelt review of her latest designs. Personally, I can’t wait to buy Polly a King James Virgin bathing suit. I am sure she’ll be excited to own one.

Are You a Porno Freak?

porno freak at work
Debi Pearl Wonders What Her Husband Michael is Doing Behind Closed Doors

Snark and adult humor ahead.

According to Michael Pearl, a defender of the Quiverfull movement and of ritual child abuse, anyone who wants to work quietly and privately in his office or study is a porno freak. Here’s what Pearl had to say in the June/July 2015 No Greater Joy magazine:

Never trust your children, and don’t trust your spouse if any activity seems suspicious. My wife and my staff have complete access to my computer. The main server is beyond my reach. It maintains complete records of all my activity. I am never locked in a room by myself to “do my work without being disturbed.” I don’t own a cell phone, but if I did my wife and my staff would be on the account and be able to review all of my activities. If any adult is less open than I describe, they are porno freaks and need to repent. Don’t doubt it. “Provide things that are honest in the sight of all men.” (Romans 12:17)

No, Michael, those of us who prefer to work quietly and privately are not porno freaks. I had six children and the only way I could productively read and study was to have a private office where I could work undisturbed. I did not spend my time surfing porn sites and masturbating. It’s called discipline and self-control, traits sadly lacking in the Evangelical church. Did I ever look at porn as a pastor? Sure, but having dial-up service severely ruined the thrill. I had to wait until my post-pastor days when I got broadband service to indulge my inner porno freak. I quickly found out that, for me, watching porn was boring. Seen one blow job, seen them all. Like drinking beer–been there, done that, yuk, no thanks. (Not that I think there is anything wrong with a man or woman viewing porn as much or as little as he or she wants.)

Michael Pearl is another example of a weak pathetic Evangelical man who fears he will fall to the temptations of a porn-filled internet if left to himself. Pearl fears that, if left alone behind closed doors, he will surf on over to quiverfullbabes.com and give in to his inner porno freak. Viewing women with dresses above their ankles and daring to show their feminine shape, Pearl fears losing control and masturbating until he is as blind as Bartimaeus.

Pearl writes about all the safeguards he has in place to keep him honest, yet anyone with decent computer skills can easily hack and overcome these safeguards. Wouldn’t the safest approach be to not have a computer or the internet? The Bible says, neither give place to the devil and abstain from all appearance of evil. Surely, even booting up a computer is giving place to the evil one, right? And on this point we see the hypocrisy of Michael Pearl. He really should get rid of his computer and avoid anything that has to do with the internet. “If any Christian is unwilling to do as I prescribe, then  he is a secret porno freak,” thus saith Bruce Almighty. The reason Pearl has a computer and internet access is because it is the only way he can spread his Quiverfull STD to the masses. It is the only way he and Debi can rake in money from people who buy into their pernicious teachings.

Come on Michael…be a real Christian, get rid of your computer and cancel your dial-up service.

121615

UPDATED: Rudolph Walls, The Friendly Pastor Who is a Registered Sex Offender

friendly chapel dillon
Friendly Chapel, Dillon, South Carolina. Rudolph Walls, Pastor

The story that follows is a perfect example of why people should, by default, be skeptical when a pastor comes to town to start a new church. If a man is going to an established church, the church can request a criminal background check. However, when the same man starts a new church, no background check is needed. It’s his church, his business, and people just have to trust that he is what he claims to be. In the case of Rudolph Walls, pastor of Friendly Chapel in Dillon, South Carolina, trusting the pastor means having a registered sex offender and a convicted child molester as your pastor. Released from prison in the 1990’s, Walls eventually became a pastor, ending up at Friendly Chapel in Dillion. Proving that a leopard can’t change his spots, Walls was arrested again for criminal sexual conduct with a minor.

WMBF News reports:

A pastor and registered sex offender was arrested Thursday morning in Dillon County for criminal sexual conduct involving two victims under the age of 16, according to officials.

Rudolph Walls, 64, is facing two counts of criminal sexual conduct, third degree, after several people came forward to file complaints…

….Walls is being held at the Dillon County Detention Center, and he may appear in municipal court Friday morning for a bond hearing. Officials at the detention center confirmed Walls is a chaplain, but could not specify where he is employed.

A resident in the area confirmed that Walls is a pastor at the Friendly Chapel on Main Street in the city of Dillon.

Rudolph Walls is listed as a registered sex offender in the North Carolina Sex Offender Registry. He was convicted of indecent liberty with a minor in 1989, and was released in 1997.

pastor rudolph walls
Pastor Rudolph Walls

Not only was Walls convicted in North Carolina in 1989 for indecent liberty with a minor, he is also currently a chaplain for the Dillon police department. The good pastor had the complete trust of the church and the police.

In a 2014 news release for an upcoming women’s conference, Walls is listed as BISHOP Rudolph Walls, Sr.  Friendly Chapel is an unaffiliated store front church, so exactly what was Walls bishop of?

Walls is currently charged with “criminal sexual conduct involving two victims under the age of 16.” The victims, both boys, were members of Friendly Chapel. A relative of one of the boys stated that the boy trusted Walls, and Walls was considered a role model for the boy.

This story is a poignant reminder of why I tell parents they shouldn’t let their children out of their sight while at church. According to news reports, the sexual assaults took place at the church. Call me a cynic, but I simply no longer trust people who say they are working for God. Unless they have been vetted and thoroughly investigated, I would NEVER allow them to have private, personal access to children or teenagers. Sadly, in Walls’ case, since he started the church, there was no way to find out if he was who and what he claimed to be.

Perhaps it is time for pastors to be required to submit to annual state and federal background checks.The same should be required of anyone in the church who has contact with children or teenagers. A database could be compiled that would allow prospective church members and law enforcement to search for any  previous criminal arrests and/or convictions. This should be a nationwide database so someone like Walls can’t  move from one state to the next to avoid detection.

It should be clear to all that we can no longer trust churches or the clergy with our children. Every day I read another new report of a pastor, priest, elder, or deacon sexually molesting or preying on church children. Day after day, the reports pile up in my email inbox. From the Catholic church sex scandal to Rudolph Walls to Jack Schaap, predators who call themselves men of God prey on church children. While Christians will likely say that these predators are outliers, the proverbial bad apple, I am convinced that apple barrel has far more bad apples than Christians are willing to admit. The Bible says that judgment must begin at the house of God. It’s time for sects, churches, and individual church members to clean up their own backyard. Instead of raging against homosexuality, same-sex marriage, premarital sex, and adultery, how about making a serious effort to address sexual abuse in the church.

Notes

Friendly Chapel is located in Dillon, South Carolina. Walls is a registered sex offender in Chadbourn, North Carolina. These two communities are 40 miles apart.

dillon sc to chadbourn nc

rudolph walls registered sex offender

rudolph walls registered sex offender 2

Walls’ address in the North Carolina Registered Sex Offender Database is listed as 226 Old Stake Rd in Chadbourn, North Carolina. Based on Google Earth, this is the address for the parking lot of Mt. Zion Baptist Church in Chadbourn. Jerry Ganus is the pastor of the church. I found no website for Mt. Zion. I did find numerous funeral notices that listed Ganus as the officiant. I have no idea if there is any connection between Mt. Zion Baptist Church/Jerry Ganus and Rudolph Walls. My gut tells me there is. In the comment section, a commenter stated that Walls’ mother is a member of Mt. Zion.

According to another commenter, there is a road that runs through the church parking lot and Walls lived (lives) in a house on this road.

226 old stake road

UPDATE, December 3, 2015:

Raw Story reports:

…Police charged 64-year-old pastor Rudolph Walls in May with two counts of criminal sexual conduct in the third degree against two children under the age of 16.

Walls had previously insisted he was not guilty of any crime — but this week he pled guilty to criminal sexual conduct with a minor and failure to register as a sex offender.

Judge Markley Dennis sentenced him to 15 years behind bars. The sentence is the maximum allowed under the law.

“Obviously, we agree with and are appreciative of the court’s imposing the maximum sentence,” prosecutor Shipp Daniel said. “This is a terrible case perpetrated by a man whose position as a pastor makes it that much more heinous. Unfortunately, 15 years is all he could get.”…

Bruce Gerencser