Category: Life

  • I’m Still a Junior High Boy With a Dirty Mind

    wringer washer brain

    I saw this post on Facebook tonight . . .

    LOOKING FOR A HANDYMAN 👀 somebody that can

    I turned to Polly, and read her each line . . .

    I’m a handy man, aren’t I?

    Polly snickers, rolls her eyes . . .

    🩵LAY FLOORING – vinyl & brace my bedroom

    I’m pretty good at laying flooring. Especially in bedrooms.

    💗 KNOWS HOW TO DONDRY WALL – only 1 piece to do I think?

    This sounds like a kinky sex position — the DONDRY WALL, I’m game.

    ….

    That’s the biggest things I need from a handyman, but I would like somebody that knows what they’re doing (with experience!) to come in & check out my place! I have cash in hand for the jobs done.

    I am experienced and know what I am doing. She wants me to come check out her “place.” And she’s going to pay me!

    🫶🏼 PLEASE BE SOMEBODY THAT HAS TIME ON THEIR HANDS RIGHT NOW! I’m trying to get this done in a certain amount of time, so if you work a full time job this isn’t the job for you!! Time is the most crucial here for me 🫶🏼

    This is the job for me. I have lots of time on my hands, and I have been known to get jobs done in five minutes or less.

    Polly and I laugh together.

    I know, I know, we are beyond redemption. Polly has corrupted me. 🙂

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

  • Thirty Years of Chronic Pain Relief Treatments and I’m Still Hurting

    cures for pain

    I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 1997. Since then, I have added osteoarthritis, degenerative spine disease, gastroparesis, exocrine pancreatic insufficiency, and severe axonal neuropathy to my health resume, along with a plethora of debilitating symptoms that afflict me day and night.

    Over the past thirty years, countless people have suggested I do this or that for pain; that they are sure if I will do ___________ that all or most of my pain will magically disappear. Anecdotes abound. I know a person who did __________ and their fibromyalgia went completely away! I know another person who took this or that supplement/magic food, and all their pain disappeared! And so the emails, texts, and social media messages say, day after day, month after month, year after year. Never mind what I want. They just KNOW that if I will follow their anecdotal proclamations, I will be healed.

    What follows is a list of things I have tried for pain since 1997:

    Prayer

    Pleading with God

    Asking others to pray for my healing

    Pretending I am not in pain

    Magnets

    Genie massager

    Chiropractor

    Darvocet (removed from market due to causing heart problems)

    Tramadol

    Flexeril

    Restoril

    Amitriptyline

    Lyrica

    Guaifenesin (off label use)

    TENS unit

    Diet change

    Exercise

    Supplements

    Hydrocodone

    Gabapentin

    Steaming hot baths (with magnesium epsom salts)

    Distraction

    Moved to Yuma, Arizona, hoping the weather would be good for me

    Electric heating pads for legs, neck, and spine

    Gel boiled water heating pads

    Padded bed covering

    Weighted blanket

    Aspirin and Tylenol

    Massage by Miss Polly, the sexy masseuse

    Surgery

    Therapy

    Steroid and lidocaine injections

    Physical therapy (a waste of time)

    NSAID creams and patches (worthless)

    Ambien

    Gabapentin again

    Flexeril again

    Pain medications cut or removed per medical practice policy

    Hit other body part to take away pain in extremity

    Cannabis

    Cymbalta (for neuropathy in legs)

    Crying

    During this time I read books about Fibromyalgia and chronic pain. I also saw more doctors than I can count: primary care doctor, rheumatologist, neurologist, multiple pain management doctors, and neurosurgeon. I’ve been seen by teams of doctors at the University of Michigan and Toledo Hospital. In 2007, I had a complete day-long work-up for multiple sclerosis (MS).

    Here’s what has worked — so far:

    • Hydrocodone
    • Aspirin and Tylenol
    • Massage by Miss Polly, the sexy masseuse
    • Genie massager (a professional electric massager used in therapy/chiropractor offices)
    • Hot baths
    • Electric heating pads
    • Cymbalta (for neuropathy)
    • Cannabis (for sleep and nausea, doesn’t do much for pain, outside of helping me sleep)
    • Distraction (particularly cats, grandchildren, and writing)

    As you can see, I have done what I can to alleviate my pain. The “miracle” jar is empty, and no cure is on the horizon. I fully expect to live the remaining days of my life in pain. It is what it is. I can accept that, though it seems other well-meaning people can’t. They are certain that if I will just listen to them and do ___________, my pain will markedly decrease or go away. Their “certainty” turns them into prophets of woo — a term used to describe beliefs involving pseudoscience, superstition, or magical thinking.

    Want to help me? Continue to read my writing. Send me an encouraging email or message now and again. Comment on this blog. Donate (see, Bruce is in it for the money). Write a guest post. Promote my blog far and wide. Suggest to me subjects to cover with a blog post. Send Polly a note, thanking her for putting up with my shit. Bethany too. Both of them deserve better.

    Thank you for your continued love and support.

    signature

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

  • You Meant Well, But You Still Hurt Me

    1985 at the Clyde Theater

    Today is the day. Soon we will drive from our home in Ney to Fort Wayne to attend a 1980s-focused concert at the Clyde Theater. I am in a lot of pain, so much so that if we had not already bought tickets, we would have stayed home. . .

    After eating dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant, we made our way over to the Clyde, arriving shortly before the gate opened. By this time, my body was screaming in pain, despite having already taken narcotic medications. “Such is life,” I told myself, knowing that pain is the high price I pay for admission.

    The Clyde staffer who handles handicapped (ADA) seating already had three seats reserved for us at the front of the right loge section (our regular seats). By concert time, the venue was filled, ready for a wonderful night of ’80s rock and roll.

    The show was everything we expected, and more. Two and half hours long, the concert took a toll on me physically. I can only imagine what the people sitting in back of us who watched me move back and front and side to side in my wheelchair trying to get comfortable must have thought. Throughout the night, I felt my partner’s hand on my leg, trying to comfort me in the midst of my suffering. A small gesture, but I appreciated it.

    After the concert ended, we waited to leave the venue so we could avoid people cutting in front of me or banging into my wheelchair. Eventually, we made it to the lobby, only to find it crowded with people wanting to take a photo with the band.

    My partner and our adult daughter with Down syndrome headed for the bathroom, as I sat there out of the way watching people, minding my own business. The girls returned from the bathroom. Finally . . . we are headed home. Soon I will feel the blessed heat of heated car seats on my body.

    You, of course, knew none of these things. How could you? You and I don’t know each other. Outside of our common appreciation of ’80s rock music, we were total strangers. As we were walking away from the crowd, our daughter asked if she could have her picture taken with the band. I hesitated, wanting to get to the car as soon as possible . . . you know, the whole pain thing, right?

    You heard my daughter’s request. Instead of letting me handle the matter, you quickly inserted yourself into our discussion.

    “Come on, Dad. Let her get her picture taken.”

    “Uh, no, we really need to go.”

    “It will just take a minute.”

    By now, dozens of people were staring at me, listening to this woman’s increasingly loud voice.

    Thoroughly embarrassed, I finally acquiesced, and Bethany quickly joined the band for a picture.

    But, you couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you?

    “Come on Mom and Dad, you get in the picture too.”

    “No, that’s okay.”

    “Come on, you will be glad you did.”

    “no, I . . .”

    But you were insistent, and not wanting to be embarrassed any further, I said, “Fine.”

    My partner started pushing my wheelchair towards the picture set, only to have me tersely say, “PLEASE STOP.” It took several pleas for the motion forward to stop. The venue was loud with conversation, so my partner could not hear me initially.

    “I will use my cane instead.”

    And with that, I tried to get out of my wheelchair, falling partially forward. Eventually, I made it to the front, and joined the picture. You were so happy that I played your game. Innocent or not, you showed no regard for me as a person. You decided you knew what was best for me; that I would regret not having this picture taken. What I regret is not putting you in your place. I regret not schooling you on personal space and bodily autonomy. I know you meant well, but you hurt me anyway. All I wanted to do was exit the venue, get in the car, and turn on the heated seats. Put yourself in my shoes. Is that too much to ask?

    Please do better.

    signature

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

  • I’m Not Your Hon, Honey, Dear, or Sweetie

    server at restaurant

    Want to annoy the hell out of me? Assume familiarity with me that you do not have. I am acutely aware of this during the Christmas season when complete strangers think they have a right to touch me because I look like Santa. And when I say touch I mean stroking my beard, giving me a hug, or as one drunken 40 year old woman did at a local basketball game in front of my neighbors, sitting on my lap so they can tell me what they want for Christmas. (And let me be clear, if someone politely asks me if they can touch me or take my photo, I always say yes. Yesterday, we ate at Panera Bread in Toledo. A woman, as excited to see me as if she had just won the lottery, asked if she could take a photo with me. I said sure. I did make a snarky comment about the photo ending up on OnlyFans. I have embraced my inner Krampus, uh I mean Santa Claus.)

    I enjoy going out to eat with Polly. We are at a place in life where we enjoy fine dining when money allows. Imagine going to an upscale restaurant, only to have a server with a truck stop voice say, “What can I get for you tonight, hon, honey, dear, or sweetie?” Argh, not a good start — at least for me.

    Sadly, some servers likely picked up bad habits working at a truck stop, diner, or strip club. Missed was the lesson about not being overtly familiar with your customers, especially when you are meeting them for the first time. Well, at a strip club, overt familiarity is good for business — or so I have been told anyway. 🙂

    I know, I know, with Trump trying to destroy our country, it’s silly to talk about how servers address me. However, this is a pet peeve of mine, so this is my blog and I am going to bitch. 🙂

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

  • When the Pain Never Leaves . . .

    suffering and pain

    According to the Bible, pain and suffering are tests, trials, and punishments from God. God punished Adam and Eve for eating fruit off a forbidden tree:

     And to the man he [God] said, Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree about which I commanded you,‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread until you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken you are dust, and to dust you shall return. (Genesis 3:17-19 NRSV)

    While Evangelicals love to protect God’s honor, the Bible is clear: all pain and suffering comes from God himself. I have firsthand experience with pain and suffering. All of us, if we live long enough, will have similar experiences, though the reason, degree, and length will vary from person to person. Most of us have experienced acute pain:

    Acute pain is a sudden, short-term pain that signals a specific injury or illness and typically goes away once the cause is treated or healed.

    Acute pain comes and goes once the source of the pain is resolved. Chronic pain is different:

    Chronic pain is pain that lasts for over three months. You may feel the pain all the time or it may come and go. It can happen anywhere in your body and has countless causes.

    Chronic pain is pain that doesn’t do away. It may get better or worse, but this sort of pain never goes away. This is the kind of pain I have had since the late 1990s. There’s not been a day since I was forty years old that I have been pain-free. What started with fibromyalgia has grown like a brushfire with osteoarthritis, degenerative spine disease, gastroparesis, and exocrine pancreatic insufficiency. Today, my life is one long, exhausting struggle with pain. My goal every day has been to control my pain well enough that I have enough energy to write and do work around the house. Some days, it is impossible for me to do anything more than survive; to live to face another day. And other days, all I want to do is die. I love my family, but sometimes my pain is so severe that all I want, in the moment, is for the pain to stop.

    Chronic pain sufferers know that pain medications become less effective over time. That’s the case for me. I’ve been taking narcotic drugs for twenty years. Over this time, I have unnecessarily suffered because of the government’s and Parkview Hospital’s war on chronic pain sufferers. I take fifty percent less morphine load today than I did five years ago. I have largely found that local pain doctors are worthless; more concerned with doing injections and procedures than they are managing the suffering of chronic pain sufferers. And even worse, local pain doctors, to the person, oppose cannabis use. Figure that one out.

    If the goal of medicine is to lessen suffering, why don’t doctors do more to help their chronic pain patients? My primary care doctor plans to retire in four years. He told me it is unlikely, due to clinic policies, that another doctor will write my narcotic scripts. I replied, “No problem. I plan to be dead by then.” My doctor thought I was being funny, but I most certainly was not. Without narcotic pain medications — yes, many people really need them — I will not survive. “But, Bruce, aren’t you worried about becoming a drug addict?” Are you kidding? Of course not. I have CHRONIC pain. It never, ever goes away. I suspect my pain will only get worse with time. How could it be otherwise? My spine — from neck to coccyx — shoulders, and hands continue to structurally deteriorate. I can easily see a time when I can no longer type or walk. As it stands now, I use a cane, walker, or a wheelchair to get around.

    If I am a chronic pain sufferer, why does it matter if I become “addicted”? If I was in hospice with terminal pancreatic cancer, would I be given narcotics for pain control? Would the goal be to ease my suffering? Of course, it would. Why, then, is it any different for chronic pain sufferers? Just because we are dying “slowly” doesn’t mean we aren’t in just as much pain as those who have terminal illnesses.

    I do all I can on any given day to manage and control my pain: heating pads, steaming hot baths, Tylenol/aspirin, TENS unit, stretching exercises, massage, cannabis, and, yes, narcotic pain medications. I also take medications to manage symptoms from gastroparesis and exocrine pancreatic insufficiency. Cannabis has reduced my nausea and vomiting, so there’s that, for which I am grateful.

    I see a neurosurgeon later this week; the same surgeon who did my surgery a year ago. Hopefully, he will provide an answer for my lower back pain and awful neuropathic leg pain. If so, I will have surgery again, though I am hesitant to do so. All I know to do to is gather information and decide accordingly.

    Are you a chronic pain sufferer? Is your pain well-managed? Please share your experiences in the comment section.

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

  • Should Feral Cats be Killed?

    feral cats in barn-008

    Feral/stray cats in are in the news thanks to an Evangelical preacher who shot a cat three times and left it for dead in his church’s dumpster. Local discussions (and several comments on this site which I deleted) suggested killing the cats to get rid of them. Really? Is violence always the answer? Who is to blame for exploding outdoor cat populations? Not the cats. If people take in a pet of any kind, they are duty bound to care for the animal, and that includes not putting them outside to fend for themselves or killing them because they are an “inconvenience.”

    Several stupid locals said that feral/stray cats are an existential threat to human survival. OMG, cats have diseases. Yes, they do, and so do humans. Should we euthanize humans if they are sick or have communicable diseases? Of course not. It is unfed, starving cats that tend to be sick. Solution? Feed them and provide shelter when it is cold. No, I fear humans far more than I do cats. Sure, cats can and do get sick, but euthanizing them should be the last resort.

    How a person treats animals says a lot about them. Is it surprising that Revival Fires thinks it is okay to kill cats? Of course not. He’s a sociopath who says he loves Jesus. So it is for other people who relish offing cats for no other reason than they exist. They are not good people, and we should stop acting as if they are.

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

  • Short Stories: Bethany, the Pied Piper of Cats

    bethany 2019

    We are cat people. Currently, we have four inside cats: Socks, Petey, Charley, and Lilith, and we care for around — depending on the day — ten feral/stray cats. It is our daughter Bethany’s job to feed the cats several times a day. Bethany has Down syndrome, and just turned thirty-six.

    Every day, around 10:30 am, Bethany walks out our back door to feed the cats and put out the bird feeders. We have to put the feeders away each evening to keep the coons from eating everything. We have RING security door cameras on our front and back doors. When Bethany feeds the cats, the camera records what she is doing. So entertaining …

    If I walk out the back door, the cats head for the hills. If I stand still long enough, several of them might come closer to me, but never so close that I can pet or hold them. Let Bethany come out the door, and the cats treat her like a long lost relative. They follow after her through the yard as she puts out the feeders, pours cat food in their bowls, and refills the water bowl. Sometimes, the cats even follow her into our shed. Much like St. Francis of Assisi, Bethany has a way with animals, including wild ones. Our yard is frequented by numerous raccoons and possums. It is not uncommon to look out the back door late at night and see a coon, a possum, and a handful of cats all eating the same scraps; all getting along with each other. One night I said to myself, “Too bad we humans can’t get along like these animals do.”

    Bethany is definitely the Pied Piper of Cats. One reason for this is that she feeds them. Cats naturally become more friendly with the person who gives them food every day. But there is more to this than that. People with Down syndrome are innocent, friendly, and kind. Oh, Bethany can be a shit now and again — like loading our Netflix watch folder with more than a hundred vampire movies I have to remove one at a time– but she is usually a delight to be around. I suspect the cats sense that Bethany is a harmless soul, kind to a fault.

    Yesterday, I listened to an infuriating debate about human value on an atheist YouTube channel. One of the participants claimed we should judge people based on their productivity; that people who don’t produce add little to no value to our society. This is a classic capitalist argument, though I was disappointed it was an atheist making this repulsive statement. This shouldn’t have surprised me. Atheists are not immune from bad claims and arguments.

    All humans have intrinsic value, regardless of whether they add anything materially to our society. I don’t judge people based on the value-added. Instead, I judge them according to their behavior. Using this standard, you will see all sorts of wonderful people who may not add much to the bottom line, but they enrich our lives more than we could ever imagine. So it is with Bethany, the Pied Piper of Cats.

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

  • Short Stories: My Youngest Grandson Gets the Old Time Religion

    short stories

    My partner, Polly, and I are blessed to have sixteen grandchildren — three grandsons and thirteen granddaughters. Several weeks ago, we watched our two youngest grandsons for our daughter. We decided to take them out to eat and then to a movie.

    We ate at the Paradise Buffett in Auburn, Indiana. The boys had never eaten at a buffet before, so it was quite entertaining to watch them navigate the food lines. “You mean, I can eat whatever I want?” “Yes, but remember, whatever you take, you have to eat.” Our one grandson has autism, and for a moment, the buffet experience overwhelmed him. He stood still, turning in a circle, surveying his surroundings. Eventually, I was able to get him to put food on his plate. The boys were even more surprised when I told them that they could get a clean plate for more food. “Really? We can get more food?” Ah the joys of watching children experience the finer things of life for the first time. 🙂

    Afterward, we went to the theater to watch the new TRON movie. We arrived as the preview clips were showing. As we found our seats, a scene from a PG-13 action movie started playing. This definitely got our youngest grandson’s attention. He stood on his seat, and in his loudest outdoor voice he said, “OH MY GOD, DID YOU SEE THAT?” I turned to Polly, laughing, and said, “Silas, has found religion.” 🙂

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

  • Bruce, Were You Happy in the Ministry? — Part One

    bruce and polly gerencser 1978
    Bruce and Polly Gerencser, in front of our first apartment in Pontiac, Michigan, Fall 1978, with Polly’s grandfather and parents.

    When I write posts like Leaving the Ministry: Dealing with Guilt and Regret, I am always concerned that someone might conclude that I was unhappy while I was in the ministry or that I felt I was trapped in a job I didn’t want to be in. Neither of these conclusions would be an accurate assessment of the twenty-five years I spent in the ministry.

    I was fifteen years old when I went forward at Trinity Baptist Church, Findlay, Ohio, and informed the church that I thought God was calling me to the ministry. A few weeks before, I had made a public profession of faith and was baptized. I had no doubts about God’s call on my life. In fact, my desire to be a preacher went all the way back to when I was a five-year-old boy in San Diego, California. My mother asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told her I wanted to be a preacher. Not a baseball player, not a trash truck driver, or a fireman. I wanted to be a preacher. Unlike many people, I never wondered about what I wanted to do with my life. God called-preacher, end of story.

    In the fall of 1976, I enrolled at Midwestern Baptist College, a small Fundamentalist college in Pontiac, Michigan. Polly Shope, my wife to be, started taking classes at Midwestern in the spring of 1976 while she was finishing her senior year at Oakland Christian School. At the age of fourteen, Polly went forward at the Kawkawlin River Baptist Church, Bay City, Michigan, and let the church know that she believed God was calling her to be a preacher’s wife. When Polly enrolled at Midwestern, she had one goal in mind: to marry a preacher.

    polly gerencser, pontiac, michigan 1978
    Polly in front of our apartment, Fall 1978

    Polly and I were immediately drawn to one another. She was quiet, reserved, and very beautiful. I was outspoken, brash, with a rebellious spirit. According to Polly, I was her bad boy. We started dating in September of 1976, and by Christmas, we were certain that we were a match made in Heaven. Unfortunately, Polly’s parents thought we were a match made in Hell. My parents were divorced, and Polly’s mom thought that divorce was hereditary. Though she did her best to quash our love, in the spring of 1978, we issued an ultimatum: give us your blessing or we will get married without it (a few weeks earlier, we had seriously considered eloping). On a hot July day in 1978, Polly and I exchanged vows at the Newark Baptist Temple, Heath, Ohio. As Mark Bullock, the soloist for our wedding, sang the Carpenter’s hit, We’ve Only Just Begun, Polly and I had thoughts of the wonderful life that awaited us in the ministry. Little did we know how naïve we were about what being in the ministry really entailed.

    Polly’s idea of the ministry was quite idealistic. In her mind, we would have two children, a boy named Jason and a girl named Bethany, and live in a beautiful two-story house with a white picket fence. She saw herself as the quiet helpmeet of her preacher husband.  My idea of the ministry was a bit more realistic. Preaching, teaching, winning souls, visiting the sick, all in a church filled with peace, joy, and harmony. No one had prepared us for what the ministry would really be like. I still remember a time when I was standing in a three-foot deep hole partly filled with sewage trying to repair a broken septic line. Polly came out to see what I was doing, and I said to her, Well, they certainly didn’t teach me this in college. No one told us that the ministry would be far different from our idealistic expectations.

    Two months after we were married, Polly informed me that our use of contraceptive foam had failed and she was pregnant. Not long after her announcement, I lost my job at a Detroit-area production machine shop. Financially, things quickly fell apart for us. We went to see Levy Corey, the dean at Midwestern, and told him that we needed to drop out of college. He told us we just needed to trust God and everything would work out. While I was able to find new employment, it was not enough for us to keep our heads above water. In February of 1979, we dropped all of our classes and prepared to move to Bryan, Ohio. Several of our friends stopped by before we moved to berate us for not having faith in God. One friend told us that we would never amount to anything because God doesn’t bless quitters. Years later, at a preacher’s conference hosted by Newark Baptist Temple, Dr. Tom Malone, the president of Midwestern, mentioned that I was in the crowd. He said that I had left Midwestern before graduating, but if I had stayed, they (the college) probably would have ruined me. He meant it as a joke, but I took his comment as a vindication of our decision to leave college.

    polly bruce gerencser cranbrook gardens bloomfield hills michigan 1978
    Polly and Bruce Gerencser, Cranbrook Gardens, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, Spring 1978, two months before wedding.

    In February of 1979, we moved to Bryan, Ohio, the place of my birth and the home of my sister Robin. After living with my sister for a short while, we found a house to rent on Hamilton Street. I began working at ARO, a large local manufacturer of pumps and air tools. ARO paid well, but I still desired to be a pastor. As with every job, I viewed secular work as just a means to an end — me pastoring a church. My sister attended the Montpelier Baptist Church in Montpelier, Ohio. When we first moved to Bryan, we thought that we would attend First Baptist Church, the church I had attended before enrolling at Midwestern. Though I knew everyone at First Baptist, we decided to go to Montpelier Baptist, a young, growing GARBC church pastored by Jay Stuckey. This decision did not sit well with the people at First Baptist. One of the matriarchs of the church told me, “Bruce, you know you belong at First Baptist!”  At the time, First Baptist was pastored by Jack Bennett. Jack was married to my uncle’s sister Creta.

    I had previously preached at Montpelier Baptist, so I knew a bit about Stuckey and his ministry philosophy. Stuckey was a graduate of Toledo Bible College, which later moved to Newburgh, Indiana, and became Trinity Theological Seminary. After attending the church for a few weeks, Stuckey asked me to help him at the church by becoming the bus pastor and helping with church visitation.

    The church had one bus route. It brought in a handful of children every week, and little was being done to increase ridership numbers. Enter hot-shot, get–it-done, Bruce Gerencser. In less than a month, on Easter Sunday, the bus was jammed with eighty-eight riders. I vividly remember arriving at the church with all these kids and the junior church director running out to the bus and frantically asking me what I expected him to do with all the children. I replied, That’s your problem, I just bring them in. Needless to say, this man was never very fond of me.

    A short time later, the church bought a second bus. I recruited bus workers to run the new route, and before long, this bus was also filled with riders. On the first Sunday in October 1979, Montpelier Baptist held its morning service at the Williams County Fairgrounds. A quartet provided special music, and Ron English from the Sword of the Lord preached the sermon. Five hundred people attended this service, and about 150 of them had come in on the buses. Less than two weeks later, I was gone. Polly and I, along with our newborn son Jason, packed up our meager household goods and moved to Newark, Ohio.

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

  • Bruce, Is Polly Your Soulmate?

    soulmate

    Bruce, do you have a “soulmate”? The short answer is “no.”

    First, I don’t don’t have a “soul” and neither does Polly, my partner of forty-seven years. There’s no evidence for the existence of the soul, and without one, I can’t have a “soulmate” and neither can Polly.

    Second, there are millions of females on planet Earth I could have married and been happy with. Am I really expected to believe that Polly was the only person for me; that if I had never married her, I wouldn’t be happy? This is absurd, to say the least.

    That said, I am happily married. By all accounts, we have a good marriage, and we get along with each other 98.9% of the time. All I am saying is that had I met a different woman and married her, it is possible we could have been happily married too. Of course, we also could have had the marriage from hell. Life is a crapshoot, and that includes marriage.

    Do you have a soulmate? How do you know that person is the only person out of eight billion people just for you? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.

    Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

    Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

    You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.