This is the fifty-second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Sunday in Reality by Cynthia Carle.
This is the fifty-first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Wages of Sin by The Rainmakers, a Kansas City, Missouri-based original rock band.
Lyrics
I was praying last night when an angel broke the line
She said “I’m gonna have to put you on hold for a time”
I said “Hold like Hell, let me talk to the Boss”
She said “Sorry sucker (sinner), it’s the Boss’s day off”
And I realized then that the wages of sin
Was two bucks an hour and working weekends
I was ignoring the thief who was lashed to the cross
He cried “Help me get this son-of-a-bitch off”
I said “I would if I could, I can’t so I won’t
Well I wouldn’t want you messing your hair up, so don’t”
And I realized then that the wages of sin
Was all the lumber you can carry, all the nails you can bend
The wages of sin, the price that you pay
Is worrying and fretting every second of the day
If Heaven is guilt, no sex and no show
Then I’m not sure if I really want to go, Oh
The wages of sin, the reward of fear
Is worrying and fretting every second of the year
The Church and the State, your God and Countrykind
One gets your body, the other gets your mind
Mary, Mary Magdalene, how ’bout a date?
You’ve been wasting your time staying up so late
Your boyfriend’s dead, the word is you’re a whore
Just about then I heard a knock on the door
And I realized then that the wages of sin
Was a bad reputation and too many friends
The wages of sin (repeats)
Originally written in 2014
In this post, I want to take a look at State Line Christian School, an unaccredited fundamentalist Christian school that is operated under the auspices of the Lewis Ave Baptist Church in Temperance, Michigan. I know nothing about this school or church, and everything I write in this post has been gleaned from the church’s or school’s website.
Lewis Avenue Baptist Church, is an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) church pastored by Steve Hobbins. Pastor Hobbins has been the pastor of the church since 2008. Prior to that, his father was the pastor for 37 years. Like many IFB churches, Lewis Avenue is a franchise operation, handed down from father to son.
In 2001, the church built a 1,300 seat auditorium. I found nothing on the church’s website that states their actual attendance. Interestingly, I found nothing on their website that stated what they believed. There is one page (link no longer active) that details how a person can go to heaven when they die. Here is the prayer they suggest a sinner pray:
Dear Jesus,
I know I’m a sinner, I know I cannot save myself. I know you died on the cross for my sin. I ask you to come into my heart and forgive my sins, and take me to heaven when I die. AMEN
Lewis Avenue operates a bus ministry, along with a seniors ministry, singles ministry, mentally handicapped ministry, children’s ministry, music ministry, a teen ministry that focuses on soulwinning, and a Spanish ministry. The church also has a Reformers Unanimous chapter.
The centerpiece of Lewis Avenue Baptist Church’s plan to train future IFB leaders is the State Line Christian School. The school’s about page states (link no longer active):
When State Line Christian School opened in 1973, Pastor Hobbins’s vision was to open not just a private school, but a Christian school, one that held the beliefs of Lewis Avenue Baptist Church and the other churches in the Greater Toledo area. The school is Baptist-based with a strong emphasis on evangelism.
State Line started with just a K-4 and K-5, but added grades every year, until they graduated their first class in 1980. It is considered a preparatory school for college – a student’s core classes are chosen for him, and each student gets four years of English, math, and science. The school uses A Beka Book curriculum. State Line has been successful in preparing its students in that better than 90% of graduates go on to pursue college…
State Line is an unaccredited Christian school that uses A Beka Books, the publishing arm of Pensacola Christian College, for their curriculum. For one child in grade 1 through 12, the tuition cost is $4,000 plus an enrollment fee and an additional costs fee. Total cost for one child? Around $4,100. For families with two children enrolled the tuition cost is $6,250. Four children? $8,250. The State Line website does not mention if there is an additional tuition cost for more than four children. If a family is delinquent (link no longer active) in making their tuition payments for more than 45 days, their children will not be permitted to attend the school. If payment arrangements are not made, the school will “pursue any and all action to
collect past due money.” If this step is taken, a 20% fee is added to the amount owed.
Pastor Steve Hobbins is the superintendent and Joshua Newbold is the principal. Both Hobbins and Newbold attended an unnamed, and I assume unaccredited, Bible college. According to the hard to find listing of school staff (no link on school website), the school has 21 teachers:
Out of 21 teachers, only one is certified by the state of Michigan.
State Line Christian School operates under the laws of the Michigan for non-public schools:
At one time, Michigan law stated:
In 1993, The Michigan Supreme Court ruled that the above provision was unconstitutional when applied to families whose religious convictions prohibit the use of certified instructors. In People v. DeJonge, a lawsuit filed by the fundamentalist Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA), the Michigan Supreme Court ruled 4-3 for DeJonge and invalidated the requirements mentioned above. Thus, State Line is under no statutory requirement as far as their teachers are concerned, and this is why most them have degrees from unaccredited fundamentalist Christian colleges.
Like all fundamentalist Christian schools, State Line has a strict code of conduct. While I was unable to find a copy of their student manual online, which is not uncommon for fundamentalist schools that want to hide their rules from prying eyes, I did find a 7th-12th grade student conduct agreement form (link no longer active) which must be signed by the student, the school administrator, and the student’s parent. The student must answer in the affirmative or negative to the following questions/statements:
After answering these questions, the student must READ ALOUD:
“As a student of State Line Christian School, I WILL NOT cheat, swear, smoke, gamble, dance, drink alcoholic beverages, use indecent language, use drugs, or behave in a disorderly or disrespectful manner. I WILL maintain Christian standards in courtesy, kindness, morality and honesty. I WILL strive to be of unquestionable character in dress, conduct and other areas of my life. I WILL attend all weekly services of my church unless providentially hindered. I am willing by the enabling of God to refrain from anything good or bad which might cause others to stumble, to bring reproach to the cause of Christ, to cause disrespect to the glory of God, or to be a negative influence in the character development of myself or others. I will at all times seek to maintain a careful discipline and diligence in the pursuit of my academic opportunities. I will cooperate with those in authority over me and will personally maintain respect for properly placed authority.
I realize that keeping the standards depends upon my attitude and spirit towards the goals of Christian Education. My spirit depends upon my heart commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ and the goals He wants for me during my stay at State Line Christian School.
There is much evidence from Pastors, Christian Educators, and Christian Counselors across our nation that bad music, Hollywood movies,television, and bad companionship affects the character, spirit and performance of students. Any evidence that a student is under the influence or control of such will result in disciplinary measures.
While these standards will be strictly enforced, it needs to be understood that we are far more interested in a student’s spirit and attitude than outward conformity to the standards with a rebellious spirit. The student should know that attitudes show just like actions and will be approved or disapproved.
There are tens of thousands of churches like Lewis Ave Baptist Church and thousands of these churches have schools that are just like State Line Christian School. Thousands of American children are being educated in unaccredited schools, taught by non-certified teachers. These schools use fundamentalist Christian textbooks that teach evolution is a myth and promote American exceptionalism and Christian nationalism. Some of these schools don’t even use textbooks, using instead a self-guided curriculum published by Accelerated Christian Education (ACE) or Bill Gothard’s Advanced Training Institute (ATI).
Secularists and humanists think educating children is vitally important. Having an educated populace is for our common good, and it is to everyone’s benefit to make sure every child is adequately, properly, and comprehensively educated. We expect the goverment to regulate schools in such a way that they provide a quality education for every child.
Fundamentalist Christian churches and schools have lobbied legislators and have used lawsuits to demand exemption from state laws that regulate what they can and can not do. In many states, they have been quite successful and this is why there are schools like State Line Christian School. Here in Ohio, any church can start a non-charted, unaccredited religious school. There are no regulations for such schools, and for families who choose to home school, the regulations are few. In others words, many states and local jurisdictions have abdicated their responsibility to regulate and investigate many of the schools that educate their children. (see How to Start a Non-Chartered Christian School in Ohio)
Even worse, right-wing politicians are working hard to pass voucher laws that enable private Christian schools to receive state funding with little or no oversight. Thousands of American children have their private, religious education paid for by taxpayers. These voucher programs have caused a huge census and financial drain for many public school systems.
I put this post together so readers could see how a typical fundamentalist Christian school operates. I do not know anyone at State Line Christian School or Lewis Ave Baptist Church. They came up in a web search I was doing and I decided that they would be a good example of a non-accredited, private, fundamentalist Christian school.
Should these schools (and home schools) be permitted to operate outside the purview of federal, state, and local authorities? Should they be exempt from the laws that public schools must follow? Should we “trust” these schools to properly educate children without making sure they do so? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.
My opinion? ALL schools should be strictly regulated by federal, state, and local government. They should receive NO public funding unless they are. I have no objection to religiously motivated private schools or homeschooling as long as they are properly regulated. We ALL have a vested interest in making sure that American children are adequately, properly, and comprehensively educated.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.
Guest post by Exrelayman
If the Bible were God’s word:
In brief, it would be a perfect revelation proceeding from a perfect God.
And what do we observe in the real world:
At each expectation of what the revelation of a perfect and powerful God would be like, the Bible fails. Now these expectations are admittedly subjective, so that each one of them might be arguable. But cumulatively they become, at least as I see it, irresistible. Thus the verdict that it is not a divine document, but is shown by its own nature to be the product of ignorant and superstitious men writing in ignorant and superstitious times.
Michael Snyder recently wrote an article for CHARISMA titled 10 Things That Are Going to Happen Within 15 Days of the End of the Shemitah. Snyder thinks that bad times are coming soon:
Is a great shaking coming to America? An amazing convergence of events is going to take place during the last several weeks of September 2015.
Many are suggesting that this could indicate that something really big is about to happen. In fact, some vendors of emergency food are reporting shortages because so many people are stocking up on food and supplies in anticipation of what is coming…
…It all starts with the end of the Shemitah year on Sept. 13. During the last two cycles, we witnessed historic stock market crashes on the very last day of the Shemitah year (Elul 29 on the Biblical calendar)…
…On Sept. 29, 2008 (which was also Elul 29 on the biblical calendar), the Dow plummeted 777 points, which still today remains the greatest one-day stock market crash of all time in the United States.
Now we are in another Shemitah year. It began in the fall 2014, and it ends on Sept. 13, 2015.
So will we see a stock market crash in the United States on Sept. 13, 2015?
No we will not, because that day is a Sunday. So I can guarantee there will not be a stock market crash in the U.S. on that day. But as author Jonathan Cahn has pointed out in his book on the Shemitah, we have witnessed major stock market crashes happen just before the end of the Shemitah year and we have also witnessed major stock market crashes happen within just a few weeks after the end of the Shemitah year. So we are not necessarily looking at one particular date.
And this time around, a whole bunch of critical events just happen to fall in the period of time immediately following the end of the Shemitah year.
The following are 10 things that are going to happen within 15 days of the end of the Shemitah:
Sept. 14: Rosh Hashanah
Sept. 15: The Jade Helm military exercises are scheduled to end.
Sept. 15: The 70th session of the U.N. General Assembly begins on this date. It has been widely reported that France plans to introduce a resolution that will give formal U.N. Security Council recognition to a Palestinian state shortly after the new session begins…
Sept. 20 to Sept. 26: The “World Week for Peace in Palestine Israel” sponsored by the World Council of Churches.
Sept. 21: The U.N. International Day Of Peace. Could this be the day when the U.N. Security Council resolution establishing a Palestinian state is actually adopted?
Sept. 23: Yom Kippur
Sept. 23: Pope Francis arrives at the White House to meet with Barack Obama….Francis is the 266th pope, and he will be meeting with President Obama on the 266th day of the year, leading one Internet preacher to wonder if “something is being birthed” on that day, since 266 days is the typical human gestation period from conception to birth.
Sept. 24: The Pope addresses a joint session of the U.S. Congress.
Sept. 25 to Sept. 27: The United Nations is going to launch a brand-new sustainable development agenda called “The 2030 Agenda.” …
…”Unlike Agenda 21, which primarily focused on the environment, the 2030 Agenda is truly a template for governing the entire planet. In addition to addressing climate change, it also sets ambitious goals for areas such as economics, health, energy, education, agriculture, gender equality and a whole host of other issues. As you will see below, this global initiative is being billed as a ‘new universal Agenda’ for humanity. If you are anything like me, alarm bells are going off in your head right about now.”
Sept. 28: This is the date when the Feast of Tabernacles begins. It is also the date for the last of the four blood moons that fall on biblical festival dates during 2014 and 2015…
…Many have also suggested that the Large Hadron Collider “is scheduled to perform a controversial experiment in September,” but so far I have been unable to find any solid confirmation of this.
Just recently, author Jonathan Cahn released a new video in which he expressed his belief that a “great shaking is coming to America and the world.” He points to the biblical pattern of desecration preceding judgment, and he is convinced that we recently witnessed a historic act of desecration here in the United States…
Snyder makes sure he covers his prophetical ass by saying:
I am fully convinced that the months ahead are going to dramatically change life in America, but whether it happens right now or not, I am 100-percent convinced that a great shaking is coming to this nation at some point.
Snyder operates The Economic Collapse website, a site with dozens of affiliate and advertising links. While Snyder dispenses all sorts of financial advice, the real purpose of his site is to make money for Michael Snyder. While the world collapses into to chaos, Snyder wants to make sure that he has a pile of gold and silver so he can continue to live the good life. Wait a minute, I thought the rapture was imminent? No worries, Jesus is delaying his return so people like Snyder, John Hagee, Jim Bakker, and the numerous charismatic TV preachers can gather up enough wealth to make them quite comfortable in God’s new heaven and earth. Either that or these preachers of doom and gloom are the descendants of Elmer Gantry, out to fleece the flock. My money is on the latter.
The
charismatic landscape is littered with false prophecies, yet spirit-inspired prophets continue to utter prophecies, hoping that the gullible will forget the past, fear the future and keep sending them money. Driven by fear of the unknown, well-meaning Christians buy into the what people like Snyder are selling. Sadly, for many Christians, they’ve spent their whole life fearing things that never happen. Could the U.S. stock market collapse? Sure. Could the U.S. economy collapse resulting in massive unemployment, inflation, and poverty? Sure. But, if these things happen, is it because of God?
Uncounted Evangelical prognosticators are certain that God is going to judge the United States because of abortion, homosexuality, the legalization of same-sex marriage, or any of a number of Sodom and Gomorrah like sins. But, here’s what I don’t understand. If God judges wicked, vile, sinful America, won’t his judgment fall on devout, sincere Christians, the very people who are watchman on the wall and standing in the gap, two of the popular descriptions for those who love what God loves and hate what God hates? What kind of God punishes people for doing what he commanded them to do? Shouldn’t God open a can of whoopass on people like me and give the faith the keys to a Mercedes? Why punish Team Jesus?
The U.S. stock market could collapse and the global economy could slide into a worldwide recession or depression, but the reasons for this will be greed, consumption, and market manipulation. No God needed. Humanity is quite capable of plunging the world into financial chaos all on its own.
I am one man.
I do not represent any group or any other person but myself.
I alone am responsible for what I do, say, or write.
I don’t represent my wife, children, extended family, or the family cat.
In the Gerencser family, we don’t practice groupthink, and everyone is free to be whoever and whatever they want to be.
Yes, I am an atheist, but that doesn’t mean my wife or children are.
Yes, I am a liberal, but that doesn’t mean my wife or children are.
Freethought applies to everyone in the Gerencser family, not just me.
It offends me when local Christians judge my wife or children based on what I do, say, or write.
They ask, in whispered voices, isn’t Bruce Gerencser their father or isn’t she married to Bruce Gerencser?
Evidently, being related to an atheist is an awful, dreadful thing. What drives such thinking? What makes Christians so judgmental that they refuse to treat people different from them with respect?
My wife and children are not me.
I am a committee of one.
I own what I do, say, and write.
I am not ashamed of what I do, say, and write.
I have never been one to hide in shadows or use a pseudonym.
If you want to attack someone, attack me.
If you want to gossip about someone, gossip about me.
If you want to judge someone as worthy of the wrath of God, the judgment of God, and Hell, judge me.
I don’t hide what I am, and I am not ashamed to say that I am an atheist.
I am not afraid to say that I think Christianity is a man-made religion and the Bible is a man-made book.
If you want to go after someone, if you want to attack someone, here I am.
Come out of the shadows.
Quit being the kind of gossips the Bible condemns.
Man up, woman up, and stand up for your God and your Bible.
Quit hurling anonymous, veiled invectives towards my family.
I am not hiding from you.
I am right here.
No need to question people with the last name of Gerencser as to their affiliation with me.
No need to demand answers from them when you read a newspaper article or blog post you don’t like.
No need to corner them at their place of employment or college classroom and demand they defend their father or husband.
I am right here. Leave a comment, send me an email, or contact me on Twitter or Facebook.
Only a coward goes after a man’s wife and children. What’s next, going after my grandchildren?
While they are all related to me, they are not responsible for what I do, say, or write.
I alone am responsible.
I am a committee of one.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Connect with me on social media:
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.
I read and monitor a large number of Christian, Evangelical, right-wing, and bat-shit crazy blogs and news sites. Since the main focus of this blog is Evangelicalism, I do my best to be informed about what is happening in the world of God’s chosen people. Some days, it is isn’t easy and I find myself either wanting to take a long, hot mental shower or I find myself shaking my head or laughing hysterically.
This post is about a head shaking and laughing post written by Bible Believer, a fundamentalist Christian who blogs at the Galatians 4 website. He has written about me several times in the past, The IFB Pastor Turned Atheist: Those Who Fall Away and Ex-IFB Pastor Still Rejects the Word of God. While he refuses to mention me by name in his posts, he did let his readers know that he doesn’t “post there (this blog) anymore, there are biblical precepts about preaching the gospel and getting out of Dodge and leaving the dust of your sandals when someone refuses to hear.”
Yesterday, Bible Believer wrote a post titled Watch Out for Windows 10:
Windows 8 is bad enough, I have to search for everything even to shut the computer off. Whose brain works with this nonsense? If I had time I’d strip Windows 8 off this computer and go back to 7. I shut off updates too as much as is possible but it seems some sneaks in anyway. The trojans sent to my computer never end too. This one almost got destroyed by two last week. I actually have to strip my computer completely clean at least once a year. I agree with the blogger of the link below since this commercial gave me the creeps too.
My first thought was to let Bible Believer know that the best way to not have a problem with Trojans is to stop surfing porn sites. You know, the 40th page of Google search results for porn will most likely have a few sites that will infect a computer with a virus of some sort. To all those Evangelicals who wink-wink, God be their witness, never look an internet porn, I suggest sticking to safe, reputable porn sites like youporn.
I don’t know if Bible Believer is surfing porn sites in his spare time, that five minutes a day when he is not cooking up yet another conspiratorial story about Satan, false Christians, the New World Order, and atheists. Probably not, but what I want to focus on is the website Bible Believer mentioned in his post, Another Voice: Revelation 18:4. Like Bible Believer, the writer behind Another Voice is a fundamentalist Christian McCarthyite who see Satan and the New World Order under every bed.
In 2012, Another Voice featured an article that alerted readers to the evils of Window 8. Of particular worry was a Microsoft Windows 8 promotional video. While the video is no longer available, here’s a screen shot of what Another Voice was so concerned about:
Most of us likely see an 8, but not Another Voice:
…The message in this second image from the same video could not be any clearer either. It is a hand-formation of a figure ‘8’ – for Windows ‘8’ of course, with, it just so happens, the infamous all-seeing-eye peering through, aka the ‘eye of Horus’.
Understanding that such obvious occult symbolism is never random but always intentional, are the ‘hidden’ messages in this Windows 8 “The World Is Ready” promo video a statement that the world is considered now ready for Horus, i.e. the Antichrist – along with the global system to monitor and control everything and everybody that comes with him – and that Windows 8 (and beyond) is going to make it happen?…
…Windows 8 is going to be shifting the masses to the cloud, and putting control of the software into the hands of Big Brother, aka ‘Horus’. The world is ready they say. Do you want your life in the ‘hands of horus’?
Windows 8 has now been replaced by Windows 10, and like Bible Believer, Another Voice sees a mysterious, hidden Satanic agenda behind the latest incarnation of Microsoft’s operating system. This time, it’s the Windows 10 promotional video that’s the problem. (video removed from YouTube)
Are you scratching your head over this one, desperately trying to “see” the mysterious, hidden Satanic, New World Order agenda? Well, scratch no more. I’ll let Another Voice help you “see”. Look carefully at this screen shot from the video:
Still don’t see it? Come on, it is right in front of you! OK, take it away Another Voice:
“The future starts now…for all of us” say the would-be overlords of the would-be novus ordo seclorum (New order of the ages, often mistranslated New World Order by conspiracy theorists) …and sure enough there it is: the Phoenix – hidden-in-plain sight
For you who haven’t been part of Christian fundamentalism, I am sure the paranoia of Bible Believer and Another Voice is bewildering and hysterical. However, I understand exactly where they are coming from. When you grow up being taught that unseen forces are manipulating people and governments in order to usher in a New World Order and advance the kingdom of Satan, it’s easy to “see” conspiracies everywhere you look. Couple this with literalistic eschatological beliefs and it’s not hard to “see” Satan and evil everywhere.
The thinking goes something like this…Jesus is coming soon, and before he comes again, the world is going to become as it was in the days of Noah and the days of Sodom and Gomorrah. Just look at the recent U.S. Supreme Court legalizing sodomite marriage and the recently released videos that clearly show the Planned Parenthood is selling baby parts. Look at all the lawsuits and court rulings, almost on a daily basis, that go against the Word of God and result in Christians being p-e-r-s-e-c-u-t-e-d. Everywhere sincere Christians like Bible Believer and Another Voice look they see the advancing kingdom of Satan and spiritual and moral darkness. Surely, it won’t be long before the trump of God sounds and Jesus splits the eastern sky!
While I think Microsoft and a host of other companies have taken over the world, I don’t see a nefarious plot to usher in some sort of New World Order that will enslave the masses and turn the book of Revelation into a play acted out on the world stage. What I see is the march of technology to beat of the drum of capitalism. Whether this is good or bad remains to be seen, but I do not fear Windows 10 or any other software program. They are just tools we use to work, play, and communicate.
Today, The Christian Post published an article with the headline, What to Do with Teen Caught Texting Same-sex Partner. The article, written by Evangelical family guru’s Marina and Gregory Slayton, purports to answer a question a reader asked about their rebellious 16-year-old daughter:
My wife just read to me an article you wrote providing advice to a parent of a 16 year old girl caught lying, with the discovery having been through reading her text messages. My wife and I are trying to work through a similar problem with our daughter. The issue is more complicated in that:
(A) our daughter was caught once before, about – months ago, conducting an inappropriate relationship by text message. Months earlier she had embarked on another inappropriate relationship by email.
(B) in both cases the inappropriate relationships were with other girls.
(C) the conversations were filled with fantastic lies about our home life. Everything in her descriptions were completely “over the top.”
So far we’ve ended outside communication for her and restricted her freedom outside the house. Her learner’s permit has been put on indefinite hold. Most importantly, my wife and I have had three significant, God-centered and scripture centered discussions with her. These have been wonderful opportunities to see her grow dramatically in faith.
We are working with a Christian counsellor and our Pastor to try to get through this. Our level of oversight and conversation have increased dramatically. And we are looking at issues like her appearance (between androgynous and masculine), and memberships in (name withheld).
By way of background, she was adopted from (info withheld) by me and my first wife. My daughter suffered emotional and physical abuse as a result of (info withheld). When my daughter was (info withheld) we separated and she and her brother lived with me full time. Over the course of the following four years, we divorced, my ex-wife was in and out of mental hospitals and ultimately committed suicide. I remarried – to a wonderful Christian woman (who helped bring me to the Lord!). My daughter and my wife get along very well, but there are still wounds that need healing. Your advice on our next steps would be greatly appreciated – but also our anonymity.
Thank you and bless you,
Parents of troubled daughter
Evidently, the parents took a look at their daughter’s smartphone and found inappropriate text messages; inappropriate being exaggerations and lies about them and sexually oriented texts and emails between two fellow students of the same sex. The parents confronted their daughter and did the following:
Most important, the parents sat her down three times with Bible in hand and had “God-centered and scripture centered discussions” with her.
What is clear to me and I suspect is clear to you is that what we have here is a teenager who is either gay, bisexual, or questioning her sexuality and this is conflicting with the religious beliefs of the parents. I think it is safe to assume that the parents are part of a heterosexual only Evangelical sect and that the thought of their daughter being gay is viewed as a horrible sin and an attack from Satan.
Marina Slayton, author of Be the Best Mom You Can Be: A Practical Guide to Raising Whole Children in a Broken Generation, had this to say:
…We wholeheartedly support your efforts to seek outside counseling with your pastor and a professional Christian counselor. Hopefully both will bring wisdom, perspective and guidance. As it is written in the Scriptures, there is victory in the counsel of many.
Here are a few thoughts for you, humbly recognizing that in this limited venue I can only skim the surface:
Perhaps your daughter does not understand who she is or whose she is for a very good reason: rejection. Rejected by her birth parents, rejected from her country and then (effectively) rejected by the mother who adopted her. As a result she probably feels she is “different” and “unacceptable.” She is not alone. In a generation that worships tolerance many modern teens are actually intolerant of each other because they themselves do not feel they belong. They cannot show love in a healthy manner because they don’t feel loved. Teen suicide is at record levels in part because so many don’t have a sense of belonging and they don’t feel loved.
So remember: Love your daughter! Her spirit of rejection is most likely daring you to reject her. You and your wife have been chosen by God to be His minister of love to her. We realize this will not be easy given the circumstances. Years of feeling rejected and alone cannot be overcome in a few months. It will take years. And that is OK.
Ask our Heavenly Father to be working in her heart too. That is critical. He can help from the inside out: building vision and love and forgiveness in her heart…
Not one word about her sexuality. Not one word about what is likely the REAL issue driving their daughter’s parent described rebellious behavior. Remember, rebellion in Evangelical circles is a catch-all for every teenage behavior the parents don’t like or approve of. As some of the regular readers of this blog will testify, Evangelicals have sent their children off to Evangelical behavioral modification camps, AKA Christian group homes, for things as trivial as smoking, listening to rock music, or fooling around with their boyfriend. What non-Evangelical parents would consider typical behavior from a 16-year-old is viewed as rebellion against not only parental authority and the church’s beliefs, but also rebellion against God, the very God who said, for rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.
At the end of the article, Gregory Slayton, a Harvard graduate and author of Be A Better Day Today , added:
- Enlist close friends to join you in praying for her…
- Fast for her as God leads. Jesus tells us that fasting is very powerful and He is right. I try to fast for my family once a week. A great Christian brother taught me a lot of fasting…and I’m still learning. But there is power there – God’s power.
- Most importantly, please know that our Heavenly Father loves your daughter very, very much. He has entrusted her to you and your wife. So you can expect (and should ask for) God’s help in these challenges. The Holy Spirit is powerful. Super powerful. So ask God’s Spirit to be at work in your daughter’s heart for healing, repentance, and restoration…
Ah yes, pray, fast, know that God loves their daughter very, very, very much, and rely on the super-duper power of the Holy Spirit to change her life, which is Greek for deliver her the sin of homosexuality.
Like his wife, Gregory Slayton makes no mention of the rainbow-colored elephant in the room. And therein lies the biggest problem for this girl. The behaviors the parents are calling rebellion are likely a result of their daughter’s blossoming sexuality. She feels and thinks one way and her parents, church, and pastor think another way. Not skilled in the art of hiding one’s feelings, I suspect her honesty is being misinterpreted as rebellion. What the girl really needs is to see a counselor who is able to separate her sexuality from the guilt and anger generated by her parent’s beliefs about homosexuality. Put yourself in her shoes. She thinks she is gay, but her parents, church, pastor, and church friends are telling her that her same-sex desire is evil and a sin against God and nature. How would you respond?
John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight, has started a new church, Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption:
See Should Church Donations be Tax Deductible? and What is a Church According to the IRS?
This is the fiftieth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Opiate by Tool.
Choices always were a problem for you.
What you need is someone strong to guide you.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow,
what you need is someone strong to guide you..
like me, like me, like me, like me
If you want to get your soul to heaven, trust in me.
Now don’t judge or question.
You are broken now, but faith can heal you.
Just do everything I tell you to do.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow.
What you need is someone strong to guide you.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow.
Let me lay my holy hand upon you.
My Gods will becomes me.
When he speaks out, he speaks through me.
He has needs like I do.
We both want to rape you.
[x2]
Jesus Christ, why don’t you come save my life now
Open my eyes and blind me with your light
If you want to get your soul to heaven, trust in me.
Now don’t you judge or question.
You are broken now, but faith can heal you.
Just do everything I tell you to do.
[x2]
Jesus Christ, why don’t you come save my life now.
Open my eyes, blind me with your light now.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow,
Let me lay my holy hand upon you.
My Gods will becomes me.
When he speaks, he speaks through me.
He has needs like I do.
We both want to rape you
