This is the twenty-first installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!
Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from a sermon preached by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Steven Anderson, pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona.
This is the twentieth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!
Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from a sermon preached by a child preacher at Apostolic Truth Tabernacle in Greensburg, Indiana.
One church member, when asked about the child preacher condemning homos, said:
The people who are upset just don’t read the word of God. If we don’t teach the children the truth early they will never learn… Of course we applauded a child who is singing a song about God.
Uh, calling people who are different from you a sexual epithet shows that the only lessons this little boy learned are the ones on hatred and bigotry.
This is the nineteenth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!
Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from a sermon preached by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Steven Anderson, pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona.
This is the one hundred and third installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Jesus and Jones by Trace Adkins.
I’m the last one standing’ every Saturday night
All the rights feel long, wrongs feel right
But every Sunday morning I see the light again
When I’m up on the wagon I’m a helluva saint
But I’ll be damned if there ain’t another town to paint
Just down the road man it’s a game that I can’t win.
I need to find a little middle ground
Between let her rip and settling down
But I go from dry to drowned, lost to found
Stone cold sober to just plain stoned
Trying to live like my heroes did
Is the hardest kind of livin’ there is
Been a tug o’ war since I was a kid between Jesus and Jones.
I Wish I could find a gear between
“White Lightning” and John 3:16
But girl I can’t promise anything right now
All I can say is I wanna change
And I’ll keep the faith that you’ll take the reins
And hold on tight and calm this crazy down.
I need to find a little middle ground
Between let her rip and settling down
But I go from dry to drowned, lost to found
Stone cold sober to just plain stoned
Trying to live like my heroes did
Is the hardest kind of livin’ there is
Been a tug o’ war since I was a kid between Jesus and Jones.
I need to find a little middle ground
Between let her rip and settling down
But I go from dry to drowned, lost to found
Stone cold sober to just plain stoned
Trying to live like my heroes did
Is the hardest kind of livin’ there is
Been a tug o’ war since I was a kid between Jesus and Jones.
This is the eighteenth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!
Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from a sermon preached by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Bill Lytell, pastor Gospel Baptist Church in Bonita Springs, Florida.
This is the twenty-ninth installment in the Sacrilegious Humor series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a comedy bit that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please email me the name of the bit or a link to it.
Today’s bit is Don’t Pray for Me, Make Me a Sandwich by Hannibal Buress.
Warning, many of the comedy bits in this series will contain profanity. You have been warned.
This is a picture of Steven Anderson, his wife Zsuzanna , and their seven children. Since the taking of this photo, the Anderson’s have added another child. Pity their children.
Preach DOCTRINAL sermons. This is good advice for any pastor. Don’t fall into the trap of this liberal “relevant” and “practical” type preaching. These are the buzz words of the new-evangelicals. I preach sermons on SPECIFIC subjects such as eternal security, baptism, King James Bible only, exclusivism, the death penalty, the resurrection, the trinity, creation, Bible reading, Bible memorization, verbal inspiration, and also sermons against specific sins such as nudity, drinking, television, birth control, sodomy, wrong music, etc.
Anderson, an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) preacher, thinks that topical preaching is the best way to preach. For those of you who are not familiar with topical preaching, preaching topically means choosing a particular topic and then finding verses that support the chosen subject. Topical preaching abuses the text of the Bible, often providing little more than proof texts for the subject at hand. This kind of preaching allows preachers to make the Bible say what they want it to say, regardless of context or proper exegesis. Evangelicals can use the Bible to “prove” almost anything. By preaching topically, Anderson can give his political views the air of authority, leading church members to think that God is against such things as gun control, drinking alcohol, public schools, and watching television. Anderson is famous for his sermon on the sin of “men sitting down to pee.” That’s right, according to Anderson, the Bible commands men to stand when they pee. See? You really can use the Bible to prove almost anything.
Topical preaching allows cult leaders such as Anderson to justify any belief that pops into their brains. Anderson has zero theological training, yet he passes himself off as an expert on the Bible’s teachings. His followers fawn over him, viewing him as a Donald Trump-like straight-shooting son-of-a-gun. Numerous devotees of Anderson have told me that his preaching is Devil-chasing, sin-hating, step-on-toes proclamations of God’s inspired, inerrant, infallible Bible — King James-only. They think that the uneducated Anderson is the best preacher in America.
Steven Anderson, along with men such as the late Fred Phelps and evangelist Phil Kidd, mistake their attacks on all who disagree with them for Biblical preaching. Such preachers believe in what is called “hard” preaching — sermons that deliberately offend. Sadly, Anderson has learned his craft well. Now that Fred Phelps is dead, Anderson is widely considered the most hateful preacher in America, a label he wears with pride. In coming months, as I publish some of Anderson’s sermon clips for The Sounds of Fundamentalism series, readers (listeners) will hear Anderson make the most outlandish of statements. Many of you will likely conclude that Anderson belongs in a padded cell. Just remember, several hundred people call him pastor and thousands more think he is a great man of God. Worse yet, come Sunday, countless Steven Andersons will stand behind church pulpits and spew hatred and bigotry — all in the name of God and according to words found in the King James Bible. That countless Evangelicals willingly call such men pastor is disturbing. Wanting moral certainty and believing God speaks through men such as Steven Anderson, these church members will discard reason and common sense and with one voice shout, AMEN, PREACHER. KEEP TELLING IT LIKE IT IS! Until they can be brought to understand that such preaching is abusive and harmful, there is no hope for them. As long as people see these cult leaders as prophets of God instead of molesters of men’s minds, they will continue to think that what they hear preached on Sunday is straight from the mouth of God.
I recently wrote a post about Evangelical outrage over Montel Williams suggesting that the heart of Christianity is good works. Countless Evangelicals schooled Williams about salvation, reminding him that good works play no part in salvation. According to these Evangelicals, salvation is by grace — God bestowing his unmerited favor upon sinners. Are these Evangelicals right? It depends on which Bible verses you read. For example, Ephesians 2:8,9 says: For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God; Not of works, lest any man should boast. Seems to the settle the question right? Salvation is by “grace through faith and not by works.” However in the very next verse the Bible says: For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. This verse seems quite clear, well as clear as any Bible verse can be; that those whom God saves are ordained (chosen) by God to have lives that demonstrate good works. There are numerous ways one can argue this issue, but anyone with even a modicum of understanding about the New Testament certainly knows that the Bible makes a clear connection between salvation and good works. People who claim to be Christians yet live in ways contrary to the teachings of the Bible are, at best, Christian in name only. The Jesus who said Follow me surely expects his followers to believe and obey the teachings of the Bible. After all, according to Evangelicals, the Bible is God’s inspired, inerrant, infallible word. It’s God’s blueprint for life, a sure road map for the journey between birth and eternity. Why then, all the Evangelical outrage over Williams’ comment?
A large number of Evangelicals believe that salvation is some sort of magic pill or eternal fire insurance. At some point in their lives they have had some sort of “experience” with God and now they are Christians. For these Evangelicals, all that matters is believing the right things. And in recent years, believing the right things has come to mean having the right political beliefs. Williams’ comment was in response to Evangelical outrage over transgendered people using the wrong bathroom. Williams rightly pointed out that Evangelical hatred and bigotry towards transgenders was un-Christian. How dare Williams suggest hateful, bigoted Evangelicals aren’t being very Christian! These Evangelicals can recite John 3:16 and parrot “God’s Simple Plan of Salvation,” and that is all that matters. They might believe in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus, but fuck those perverts who want to use what Evangelicals consider the wrong bathroom.
These Evangelicals are being quite hypocritical, are they not? If salvation is NOT by good works, how dare they expect or demand people to live by the teachings of the Bible? Aren’t these the same Evangelicals who oppose homosexuality, same-sex marriage, premarital sex, or any other form of sexual expression except a monogamous married heterosexual couple having sex via the missionary position, yet commit the very sexual sins they condemn? And aren’t these the very same people who make all sorts of moral demands that they themselves are unable to keep? Why should any of us — transgenders included — follow ANY of the teachings of the Bible? If Evangelicals can’t practice what they preach, aren’t they being hypocritical? Of course they are.
These Evangelicals (and I say these because some Evangelicals do think good works are essential to Christian faith) are the worst that Christianity has to offer. They demand that everyone submit to their religion’s teachings, yet they are ignorant of those very teachings. They expect everyone to obey their interpretations of the Bible, yet they exempt themselves from doing the same. When questioned about the disconnect between what they say they believe and how their live their lives, these Evangelicals remind their critics that they are works in progress or that they are resting on the promises of God. These Evangelicals are ignorant of much of what the Apostle Paul had to say about behavior, choosing to focus on God’s super-duper grace-filled plan for their lives — grace that Dietrich Bonhoeffer called cheap. All that matters to them is where they will spend eternity when they die — heaven. Well that and making sure that there are no transgenders using the wrong bathroom.
You see, these Evangelicals actually DO believe in salvation by works. Every Evangelical has internalized some sort of moral code by which they, in theory, govern their lives. They think that this moral code comes straight from the mouth of God. And if it comes from God, shouldn’t everyone behave the same way? These Evangelicals, despite what they told Montel Williams, believe that there ARE certain behaviors that preclude people from being Christians. Will there be any LGBT people in heaven? Not according to these Evangelicals. In fact, their list of people who will not be in heaven is quite long. These Evangelicals speak out of both sides of their mouth, decrying anyone who says salvation is by works, yet at the same time saying that there are certain behaviors that will land people in hell (and most of these behaviors are sexual in nature). Quite frankly, if THESE Evangelicals will be in heaven, I am quite happy to spend eternity in hell with Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Prince, homosexuals, Christopher Hitchens, transgenders, same-sex couples, liberals, abortionists, and Barack Obama. According to these Evangelicals, Dennis Hastert and countless other Christian perverts get a free pass because they told God, sorry, and promised to never, ever sexually molest children again. Yet, when Catholic priests diddle young boys and later ask God’s forgiveness, they still go to hell when they die. Why? Because Catholics worship the wrong Christian God. And around and around the Evangelical merry-go-round goes.
Evangelicals are up in arms over a recent statement made by Adele about Beyoncé. Here’s what Adele had to say:
“Beyonce is the most inspiring person I’ve ever had the pleasure of worshipping. Her talent, beauty, grace and work ethic are all in a league of their own. I appreciate you so much! Thank god for Beyoncé X.”
According to CHARISMA writer Jessilyn Justice, Adele’s Instagram post proves that “idol worship is very much a reality.” Justice bolsters her claim with several comments from indignant Evangelicals on Adele’s Instagram page:
“Lowercased g, upper cased B? Only God is to be worshipped, artists are to be admired.”
” _______wrote that Adele’s caption has a lowered case g in God.. When referencing God, it’s always capital G..her worshipping Beyonce this way is disrespectful to God and all those who believe in Him and Jesus Christ,” wrote on fan.
“She’s now saying that Beyoncé is a god . Can worship people and things and not hold them to the level of God . Do you know what worship means ?”
“!!THESE DEVIL WORSHIPPERS ARE STARTING TO THINK THEY’RE GODS,ITS TIME TO STOP THEM BEFORE ITS TOO LATE…WAKE (expletive) UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS ALL UR FAULT FOR IDIOLZING THEM THE WAY YALL DO…WAKE (expletive) UP!!!!!!!!!!THESE ARE PEOPLE THAT THINK THEY ARE GODS ….WAKE (expletive) UP!!!!!WHAT MORE PROOF DO U NEED.”
Ah yes, each new day brings Evangelicals numerous opportunities to express their indignation and outrage. What I find so amazing about these comments is that they assume that there is only one God — theirs — and that Adele’s use of the word lower g god was a direct attack on the name of the Christian God. Adele is not religious. I found no evidence on the internet for Adele ever making a public statement about God, Christianity, or religion in general. One website pointed to a 2015 Rolling Stone interview in which Adele purportedly said that she is not religious. However, I could not find the interview on Rolling Stone’s website. That said, in the course of looking for this interview I read several other Rolling Stone articles that quoted Adele. These articles clearly show that Adele’s two favorite words are God and fuck, with fuck being the runaway winner in the favorite word race.
Evidently, Evangelicals are okay with what they call the “F word,” but using the word “God” incorrectly is considered a mortal sin. And evidently, even spelling “god” incorrectly is considered a serious infraction of God’s vocabulary Code®. Spend any amount of time around Evangelicals and you will find out that the quickest way to get their backs up is to use the word God in way they consider disrespectful (yet these same Evangelicals ridicule Muslims for doing the same). Some Evangelicals even go so far as to police public speech, correcting and admonishing people who dare to use the name of the Christian God (and Jesus) inappropriately. Here’s a short list of usages Evangelicals disapprove of:
Saying God like GAWD
Saying Lord Almighty like LORD ALMIGHTY!
Saying Jesus like JESUS!
Saying Jesus Christ like JESUS CHRIST!
Saying Jesus H. Christ
Saying Jesus Fucking Christ
Saying Jesus, Joseph, and Mary
Saying Goddamn
Saying God dammit
Utter these words in front of certain Evangelicals and you will likely get a self-righteous look of rebuke. Continue taking the “Lord’s name in vain” and some Evangelicals might even publicly call you out. I have known Evangelicals to even complain to their employers about their fellow employees’ offensive speech. Picture a toddler stomping his feet and saying, Mommy, make them stop! Of course, when their fellow employees find out about them going to the boss, guess what happens? That’s right. More taking the Lord’s name in vain. I learned this years ago when I worked for ARO Corporation in Bryan, Ohio. Newly married and filled with “Godly” zeal, I went to the plant manager and complained about the handful of pornographic (Playboy) pictures that were on display here and there on the factory floor. The plant manager “heard” my complaint and did nothing. The next afternoon, guess what I found taped to the front of my machine? That’s right, a picture of a naked woman. This went on for several days, long enough for me to understand that I should mind my own business. So it is with Evangelicals who get their panties in a knot when people profane the name of their God.
Evangelicals expect preferential treatment in the workplace, and often become outraged and offended when people refuse to play by their rules. I wonder if they ever bother to see things from the perspective on non-Evangelicals? My daughter works for a company where her job requires her to work in proximity with a handful of people. Her supervisor is an Evangelical. In her department they are permitted to play the radio. Guess what station is on every day? The local Evangelical Christian station. For eight hours each day, my daughter is forced to listen to atrocious Christian music, talk shows, and sermons. She could complain, resulting in the radio being removed from her department. Instead, she says nothing. My daughter has learned to tune out what she certainly considers “profane speech.” Evangelicals upset at Adele should do the same.
Evangelicals need to understand that for the nonreligious, words like God and Jesus are just that — words. If Evangelicals don’t like hearing (or reading) people use words that they deem offensive, then they should avoid people who use such words. Or they can grow up and quit throwing juvenile temper tantrums every time someone uses a word on God’s vocabulary Code®. Evangelicals need to stop expecting non-believers to play by their rules. I am an atheist, and when I say God dammit, I am not asking for the Evangelical God to damn the subject of my tirade. Last night, the Cincinnati Reds bullpen blew yet another game. When the relief pitcher gave up the lead, I said, in a voice that I am sure my neighbors could hear, REALLY? GOD DAMMIT! ARE WE E-V-E-R GOING TO WIN A GAME? Sometimes, I get texts from several of my sons expressing similar sentiments. None of us is calling on the Christian God when we use such language.
I am sure this post will do little to sway Evangelicals from their view of language. Like my wife in the morning needing several cups of black coffee, many Evangelicals need a cup of outrage to get them through the day. (Please see Christian Swear Words.)
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
This is the seventeenth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!
Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from a sermon preached by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Bill Lytell, pastor Gospel Baptist Church in Bonita Springs, Florida.
