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Tag: Songs of Sacrilege

Songs of Sacrilege: Talkin Anthropocalypse Blues by Scott Cook

scott cook

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Talkin Anthropocalypse Blues by Scott Cook.

Video Link

Lyrics

Remember Y2K?
Remember what you did that day?
Were you scared the machines would turn on us all?
Or maybe your phone just wouldn’t work?
Maybe aliens would come to earth?
Could’ve been a mushroom cloud, or heaven’s bugle call
Me and some friends took a trip down south
And we were on a beach, hanging out
With folks from all over the world, feeling nothing but fine
We drank until we got demented
Counted down for each time zone represented
And partied like it was 1999
‘Cept it actually was, it wasn’t just a figurative thing
And when it turned 2000, well, we kept on partying
Getting kinda silly by that point
Stumbling around, yelling at clouds
The new millennium was looking pretty messy so far

But you can’t always party daily and nightly
And not everyone takes those kind of things lightly
Some folks got more serious concerns
Take William Miller, back in 1818
With all the scripture he’d been studying
He got to figuring out when Jesus would return
Once he was done calculating
He got to proselytizing & debating
And within several years he rounded up thousands more
They had pamphlets and meetings, the more the merrier
Saying God would cleanse the sanctuary or
Something like that, October, 1844
And after waiting years for their coming king
They started giving away everything
Unconcerned with possessions or employment
But when the day finally rolled around
And Jesus was nowhere to be found
They had what was called “The Great Disappointment”
Some said they’d botched their calculations
Used the wrong calendar or computations
And He was still coming, just a few months or years later
Some other folks just figured they’d been wrong
Figured they’d better try and keep their home
And think of a way to explain it to the neighbours
And somehow find the wherewithal
To stock that pantry after all;
Heck, maybe they should even go and see the dentist!
But some other folks insisted it really did happen
Just not on earth, but up in heaven
And they became the Seventh-Day Adventists
Now, if there’s any Adventists listening
I really don’t want to offend you…
Really, I’ve got friends who are Adventists!
I mean, I met one one time
Besides, we’ve all got crazy ideas of our own
For instance, I thought this would be
A nice little subject to write a song about!

Back in the first century, off the Turkish coast
On a little Greek island called Patmos
A guy wrote down a bunch of visions he thought reliable
And rather than asking “what’s this guy on?”
People named it the Apocalypse of John
And 300 years later they decided it was in the Bible
And I grew up believing it’d all come true
Just when and how nobody knew
But God was coming back to get His biz done
First time by water, next time fire
Righteous and wicked to divide
And we’d get a new world in exchange for this one
And it was gonna happen soon!
‘Cause things are obviously getting worse
There’s no turning it around
There’s no saving this Earth
Nothing worth saving anyway!
You got men marrying men, men marrying dogs, trees…
Next thing you know some guy’s gonna marry his truck!
It’s just wrong!

Now some cheeky folks offer a service
To believers who are getting nervous
To ease their mind about their dogs and cats
‘Cause pets don’t get raptured, you see
So these folks say, for a small fee
They’ll feed and walk ’em in the unlikely event of that
And boy, if it happens like they say
And all the believers are borne away
You can be sure those atheists’ll come around then!
Once they find out they lost the bet
They’ll take real good care of your pets
It might be their last chance left at gettin’ in!
It’s written no man knows the day of the Lord,
But I saw it on some big billboards!
Harold Camping figured it out, and wrote it up high
God must’ve thought, who’s this hack?
Maybe He was even planning to come back
And then didn’t, just to spite the poor old guy!
After May 21st went by, people laughed but he stuck to his guns
Said it’d been a spiritual event, not a physical one…
And the real thing was coming, October 21st, 2011… Poor Harold!
He kinda lost his enthusiasm for predictions after that

2012 was gonna be big, right?
That shit was gonna be tight!
They had special calculations we could rely on
This wicked old world’s gotta make room
It’s the start of a new baktun
According to the calendar of the Mayans
Well, those Mayan dudes may’ve been rough
But they sure did make some amazing stuff
And they really must’ve been rapidly evolving
They didn’t waste time with messy elections
They put the pedal down on natural selection
By cutting off your head if you lost a ballgame
But what’d they think 2012 would mean?
Would the poles reverse? Would the sun turn green?
Would we see the planet Nibiru? Would it destroy Man?
Or was it the dawn of the Aquarian Age
Our ascension to another vibratory stage
Without war, injustice, materialism, or boy bands?
Terence McKenna predicted the singularity
With all the hard-earned sincerity
And certainty that goes with dedicated research
See, he made a computer program, threw the I Ching
Ate psilocybin mushrooms and some other things
And as a result, he was ’bout as sure as anyone on Earth
Funny thing about being sure:
The more you are, the less I believe you
Especially if it’s that crazy-eyed, foaming at the mouth kind of sure
The kind where no matter what happens, it still proves you’re right!
And if you don’t see it
Well, it was just more of a hidden, spiritual thing…
Anybody see a pattern here?

We’re pretty good at getting it wrong
This song’d be even more stupidly long
If I tried to tally up everybody’s guesses
One thing in common with all these tales
They depend on someone besides ourselves
As if we won’t have to clean up our own messes
As if we’re the last people on earth
As if these times are the craziest there ever were
As if we’re not just holding space here for our grandkids
As if it’s all gonna turn to black and white
And everyone’s gonna see the light
And convincing won’t be as hard as it always is
Like we won’t have to change minds one by one
It’ll just happen, it’ll just get done
We won’t have to take time with all the messy stuff
Of building bridges, loving people in
Realizing when we’re wrong even
And learning how to stop when we’ve had enough
Sounds like a pretty tall order, right?
God help us, you say? Or what?
It’s gonna take a miracle to save us from ourselves, right?
What if we’re the only miracle we’ve got?

This world has gotta end
This world has gotta end
It’s on us to make a new one my friends!

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Songs of Sacrilege: The Next Day by David Bowie

david bowie

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is The Next Day by David Bowie.

Video Link

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Look into my eyes he tells her
I’m gonna say goodbye he says, yeah
Do not cry she begs of him goodbye, yeah
All that day she thinks of his love, yeah
They whip him through the streets and alleys there
The gormless and the baying crowd right there
They can’t get enough of that doomsday song
They can’t get enough of it all
Listen

[Verse 2]
Listen to the whores he tells her
He fashions paper sculptures of them
Then drags them to the river’s bank in the cart
Their soggy paper bodies wash ashore in the dark
And the priest stiff in hate now demanding fun begin
Of his women dressed as men for the pleasure of that priest

[Chorus]
Here I am
Not quite dying
My body left to rot in a hollow tree
Its branches throwing shadows
On the gallows for me
And the next day
And the next
And another day

[Verse 3]
Ignoring the pain of their particular diseases
They chase him through the alleys chase him down the steps
They haul him through the mud and they chant for his death
And drag him to the feet of the purple headed priest
First they give you everything that you want
Then they take back everything that you have
They live upon their feet and they die upon their knees
They can work with Satan while they dress like the saints
They know God exists for the Devil told them so
They scream my name aloud down into the well below

[Chorus]
Here I am
Not quite dying
My body left to rot in a hollow tree
Its branches throwing shadows
On the gallows for me
And the next day
And the next
And another day
Here I am
Not quite dying
My body left to rot in a hollow tree
Its branches throwing shadows
On the gallows for me
And the next day
And the next
And another day
Here I am
Not quite dying
My body left to rot in a hollow tree
Its branches throwing shadows
On the gallows for me
And the next day
And the next
And another day

Songs of Sacrilege: Under the God by David Bowie and Tin Machine

david bowie

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Under the God by David Bowie and Tin Machine.

Video Link

Lyrics

Skin dance back-a-the condo
Skin heads getting to school
Beating on blacks with a baseball bat
Racism back in rule

White trash picking up Nazi flags
While you was gone, there was war
This is the west, get used to it
They put a Swastika over the door

Under the God, under the God
One step over the red line
Under the God, under the God
Ten steps into the crazy, crazy

Washington heads in the toilet bowl
Don’t see supremacist hate
Right wing dicks in their boiler suits
Picking out who to annihilate

Toxic jungle of Uzi trails
Tribesmen just wouldn’t live here
Fascist flare is fashion cool
Well, you’re dead, you just ain’t buried yet

Under the God, under the God
Under the God, under the God

As the walls came tumbling down
So, the secrets that we shared
I believed you by the palace gates
Now the savage days are here

Under the God

Under the God, under the God
One step over the red line
Under the God, under the God
One steps into the crazy, crazy

Crazy eyed man with a shot gun
Hot headed creep with a knife
Love and peace and harmony
Love you could cut with a knife

Under the God, under the God
Under the God, under the God

Songs of Sacrilege: Loving the Alien by David Bowie

david bowie

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Loving the Alien by David Bowie.

Video Link

Lyrics

Watching them come and go
The Templars and the Saracens
They’re traveling the holy land
Opening telegrams

Torture comes and torture goes
Knights who’d give you anything
They bear the cross of Coeur de Leon
Salvation for the mirror blind

But if you pray all your sins are hooked upon the sky
Pray and the heathen lie will disappear

Prayers they hide the saddest view
(Believing the strangest things, loving the alien)
And your prayers they break the sky in two
(Believing the strangest things, loving the alien)

Thinking of a different time
Palestine a modern problem
Bounty and your wealth in land
Terror in a best-laid plan

Watching them come and go
Tomorrows and the yesterdays
Christians and the unbelievers
Hanging by the cross and nail

But if you pray all your sins are hooked upon the sky
Pray and the heathen lie will disappear

Prayers they hide the saddest view
(Believing the strangest things, loving the alien)
And your prayers they break the sky in two
(Believing the strangest things, loving the alien)

You pray til the break of dawn
(Believing the strangest things, loving the alien)
And you’ll believe you’re loving the alien
(Believing the strangest things, loving the alien)

(Believing the strangest things, loving the alien)

Songs of Sacrilege: Raising Hell by Kesha

kesha

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Raising Hell by Kesha.

Video Link

Lyrics

[Intro]
Ooh, oh, oh, oh
Let’s go

[Verse 1]
Hallelujah
I’m still here, still bringin’ it to ya
Ohm, like Buddha
Good girls know how to get hard too, ya (Uh huh)

[Pre-Chorus]
I’m all fucked up in my Sunday best
No walk of shame ’cause I love this dress
Hungover, heart of gold, holy mess
Doin’ my best (Ah), bitch, I’m blessed

[Chorus]
Oh, if you couldn’t tell
We can always find the trouble, we don’t need no help
Singing oh, mama raised me well
But I don’t wanna go to Heaven without raisin’ hell (Get it)

[Post-Chorus]
Get it
Drop it down low, hit it, hit the floor with it
Drop it down low, drop it down low
Drop, dr-drop it down low, drop it down low (Get it)
Drop it, drop it, drop it, drop-drop-drop it down, down low
Bounce it up and down where the good Lord split it

[Verse 2]
Hands up, witness
Solo cup full of holy spirits
Somethin’ wicked (Ooh)
Speakin’ in tongues in my blood-red lipstick (Brrah)

[Pre-Chorus]
I’m all fucked up in my Sunday best
No walk of shame ’cause I love this dress (Ooh)
Only God can judge this holy mess (Ah, ah)
Bitch, I’m blessed

[Chorus]
Oh, if you couldn’t tell (Oh well)
We can always find the trouble, we don’t need no help
Singing oh, mama raised me well (Uh huh)
But I don’t wanna go to Heaven without raisin’ hell (Ah!)

[Post-Chorus]
Get it
Brrah
Drop it down low, hit it, hit the floor with it
Drop it down low, drop it down low
Drop, dr-drop it down low, drop it down low (Get it)
Drop it, drop it, drop it, drop-drop-drop it down, down low
Bounce it up and down where the good Lord split it

[Interlude]
Ladies and gentlemen (Oh, shit)
Let’s shake what the good Lord gave us (Oh yes, baby)
Come on, let’s go

[Bridge]
Aw, dang, this that shit (Uh huh)
Beat like this, wanna shake my ooh
Oh, dang, this that shit (Ah, ah)
Beat like this, wanna shake my ooh
Aw, dang, this that shit (Ah)
Beat like this, haters, suck my ooh
Woo, Lord, feelin’ it
Beat like this, make me feel that power

[Chorus]
Oh, if you couldn’t tell
We can always find the trouble, we don’t need no help
Singing oh, mama raised me well
But I don’t wanna go to Heaven without raisin’ hell

[Outro]
Can I get an amen? (Ah)
This is for the misfits of creation (You’re welcome, ah)
Take this as your holy validation (Come on)
You don’t need to hide your celebratin’ (Sing it, Kesha, bitch)
This is our salvation

 

Songs of Sacrilege: Christ Jesus by Deer Tick

deer tick

This is the two hundredth and twelfth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Christ Jesus by Deer Tick.

Video Link

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
I woke up next to the king
He got up, gonna fix me something
And it made me sick
How I can’t trust him, no I can’t trust him

[Pre-Chorus]
Said the bottom of his belly
That’s where he would keep me

[Chorus 1]
Christ Jesus
As I’m floating
And you get a brick
And you drop it down on me
Christ Jesus
Have you seen us
We’re down on our hands and our knees
And tell us what’s the reason

[Verse 2]
Like a heart that’s hung in the sky
A hard-on when I die
And you passed away
And that horizon never came, no it never came

[Pre-Chorus]
It’s the time of the week
No one sees but me

[Chorus 2]
Christ Jesus
As I’m drowning
And I struggle to breathe
It’s your face I don’t see
Christ Jesus
Please don’t leave us
If in peace you’ll keep us
Well then you should have believed us

[Bridge]
Please let me inside
And hear out my desire
‘Cause soon I may die
Yes one day I will die
I’ll get eaten by the rust
You cremate and breathe the dust
And I’ll weaken your lungs
And I’ll bite off your tongue

[Chorus 3]
Christ Jesus
Please don’t leave us
Down on our hands and our knees
Or I’ll never believe, no
Christ Jesus
As I’m drowning
And I struggle to breathe
It’s your face I don’t see

[Outro]
Christ Jesus

Songs of Sacrilege: Origin of Species by Chris Smither

chris smither

This is the two hundredth and eleventh installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Origin of Species by Chris Smither.

Video Link

Lyrics

Well, Eve told Adam
Snakes? I’ve had ’em!
Let’s get outta here!
Go raise this family someplace outta town

They left the garden just in time
With the landlord cussin’ right behind
They headed East
And they finally settled down

One thing led to another:
A bunch of sons
One killed his brother
And they kicked him out with nothin’ but his clothes

And the human race survived
‘Cause all those brothers found wives
But where they came from
Ain’t nobody knows

(guitar riff)

Then came the flood
Go figure…
Just like New Orleans only bigger
No one who couldn’t swim would make it through

The lucky ones were on a boat
Think “circus”
And then make it float
I hope nobody pulls the plug on you!

How they fed that crowd is a mystery
It ain’t down in the history
But it’s a cinch they didn’t
Live on cakes and jam

Lions don’t eat cabbage
And in spite of that old adage
I ain’t never seen one
Lie down with a lamb

(long guitar riff)

Well, Charlie Darwin looked so far
Into the way things are
He caught a glimpse of God’s
Unfolding plan

God said: “I’ll make some DNA”
They can use it any way they want
From paramecium
Right up to man.”

“They’ll have sex
And mixed up sections of their code
They’ll have mutations…
The whole thing works like clockwork over time.”

“I’ll just sit back in the shade
While everyone gets laid
That’s what I call
Intelligent design.”

Yeah, you and your cat named Felix
Both wrapped up in that double helix
Is what we call
Intelligent design

Songs of Sacrilege: We the People by Colt Ford

colt ford

This is the two hundredth and tenth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is We the People by Colt Ford.

Video Link

Lyrics

A little smokey, little bandit
Little getting out of handed
If you’re going where we’re going
Get going or get out of our way
Mixing Crowes’, hard to handle
burning Willie, Rockin’ Randall
If we’re gonna do it
Then we ain’t gonna do it half way
‘Cause we don’t play
Chka-ah

If you need a little turn-it-up Friday night
A crowd with their hands and their cans up high
Wanna raise one with the raise-hell kind
We the people
We the people with the needle in the red on cruise
Out setting fire to a neon moon
Wrecking them back roads, repping our roots
We the people

We front row, we back porch
We dirt stomp, we dancefloor
We the party and the party don’t stop till we roll up
That’s when everybody shows up (ow!)

If you need a little turn-it-up Friday night
A crowd with their hands and their cans up high
Wanna raise one with the raise-hell kind
We the people
We the people with the needle in the red on cruise
Out setting fire to a neon moon
Wrecking them back roads, repping our roots
We the people

We the ones that the preacher done warned you about
We the ones that’ll getcha kicked out
We the ones drink way too loud
We the people

We’re the jokers and tokers
In the land of the free
Got some hot ones, some cold ones
What more do you need? (Yeah!)

If you need a little turn-it-up Friday night
A crowd with their hands and their cans up high
Wanna raise one with the raise-hell kind
We the people
We the people with the needle in the red on cruise
Out setting fire to a neon moon
Wrecking them back roads, repping our roots
We the people

We the ones that the preacher done warned you about
We the ones that’ll get you kicked out
We the ones drink way too loud
We the people

Songs of Sacrilege: I Take My Chances by Mary Chapin Carpenter

mary chapin carpenter

This is the two hundredth and ninth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is I Take My Chances by Mary Chapin Carpenter.

Video Link

Lyrics

I took a walk in the rain one day on the wrong side of the tracks
I stood on the rails till I saw that train
Just to see how my heart would react
Now some people say that you shouldn’t tempt fate
And for them I would not disagree
But I never learned nothing from playing it safe
I say fate should not tempt me

I take my chances, I don’t mind working without a net
I take my chances, I take my chances every chance I get

I sat alone in the dark one night, tuning in by remote
I found a preacher who spoke of the light but there was brimstone in his throat
He’d show me the way according to him in return for my personal check
I flipped my channel back to CNN and I lit another cigarette

I take my chances, forgiveness doesn’t come with a debt
I take my chances, I take my chances every chance I get

I’ve crossed lines of words and wire and both have cut me deep
I’ve been frozen out and I’ve been on fire and the tears are mine to weep
Now I can cry until I laugh and laugh until I cry
So cut the deck right in half, I’ll play from either side

I take my chances, I pay my dollar and I place my bet
I take my chances, I take my chances every chance I get
I take my chances, I don’t cling to remorse or regret
I take my chances, I take my chances every chance I get
I take my chances

I take my chances

Songs of Sacrilege: Catholic School Girls Rule by Red Hot Chili Peppers

red hot chili peppers

This is the two hundredth and eighth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Catholic School Girls Rule by Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Video Link

Lyrics

[Chorus]
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule

[Verse 1]
In the class she’s taking notes
Just how deep deep is my throat
Mother Mary don’t you know
She’s got eyes like Marilyn Monroe

[Chorus]
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule

[Verse 2]
From the cross she’s raised her head
This is what the sister said
Give no love until you’re wed
Live no life until you’re dead
The good books says we must suppress
The good books says we must confess
But who cares what the good books says
Cause now she’s taking off her dress

[Chorus]
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule
Catholic school girls rule

[Outro]
Lead us into temptation
We are pure divine creation
Talking about my generation
Injected with the seed of emasculation
Catholic!

Bruce Gerencser