The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser

Series: Songs of Sacrilege

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Every Sperm Is Sacred by Monty Python

    This is the ninety-first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Every Sperm Is Sacred by Monty Python.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    There are Jews in the world there are Buddhists
    There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
    There are those that follow Mohammed, but
    I’ve never been one of them

    I’m a Roman Catholic
    And have been since before I was born
    And the one thing they say about Catholics is
    They’ll take you as soon as you’re warm

    You don’t have to be a six-footer
    You don’t have to have a great brain
    You don’t have to have any clothes on you’re
    A Catholic the moment Dad came

    Because every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is great
    If a sperm is wasted
    God gets quite irate

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is great
    If a sperm is wasted
    God gets quite irate

    Let the heathen spill theirs
    On the dusty ground
    God shall make them pay for
    Each sperm that can’t be found

    Every sperm is wanted
    Every sperm is good
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighborhood

    Hindu, Taoist, Mormon
    Spill theirs just anywhere
    But God loves those who treat their
    Semen with more care

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is great
    If a sperm is wasted
    God gets quite irate

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is good
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighborhood

    Every sperm is useful
    Every sperm is fine
    God needs everybody’s
    Mine and mine and mine

    Let the pagan spill theirs
    Over mountain, hill, and plain
    God shall strike them down for
    Each sperm that’s spilt in vain

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is good
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighborhood

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is great
    If a sperm is wasted
    God gets quite irate

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Pray for You by Jaron and the Long Road to Love

    This is the ninety-second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Pray for You by Jaron and the Long Road to Love.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    I haven’t been to church since I don’t remember when
    Things were goin’ great ’til they fell apart again
    So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do
    He said you can’t go hatin’ others who have done wrong to you
    Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn
    Let the good Lord do His job and you just pray for them

    I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill
    I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to
    I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
    I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls
    I pray all your dreams never come true
    Just know wherever you are honey, I pray for you

    I’m really glad I found my way to church
    ‘Cause I’m already feelin’ better and I thank God for the words
    Yeah I’m goin’ take the high road
    And do what the preacher told me to do
    You keep messin’ up and I’ll keep prayin’ for you

    I pray your tire blows out at 110
    I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend and wake up with his and her tattoos

    I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill
    I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to
    I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
    I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls
    I pray all your dreams never come true
    Just know wherever you are, near or far, in your house or in your car,
    wherever you are honey, I pray for you.
    I pray for you

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Man in the Box by Alice in Chains

    This is the ninety-third installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Man in the Box by Alice in Chains.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    I’m the man in the box
    Buried in my shit
    Won’t you come and save me, save me

    Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?
    Jesus Christ, deny your maker
    He who tries, will be wasted
    Feed my eyes now you’ve sewn them shut

    I’m the dog who gets beat
    Shove my nose in shit
    Won’t you come and save me, save me

    Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?
    Jesus Christ, deny your maker
    He who tries, will be wasted
    Feed my eyes now you’ve sewn them shut

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Sleep on the Floor by The Lumineers

    This is the ninety-fourth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Sleep on the Floor by The Lumineers.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    Pack yourself a toothbrush dear
    Pack yourself a favorite blouse
    Take a withdrawal slip, take all of your savings out
    ‘Cause if we don’t leave this town
    We might never make it out
    I was not born to drown, baby come on

    Forget what Father Brennan said
    We were not born in sin
    Leave a note on your bed
    Let your mother know you’re safe
    And by the time she wakes
    We’ll have driven through the state
    We’ll have driven through the night, baby come on

    If the sun don’t shine on me today
    And if the subways flood and bridges break
    Will you lay yourself down and dig your grave
    Or will you rail against your dying day

    And when we looked outside, couldn’t even see the sky
    How do you pay the rent, is it your parents
    Or is hard work dear, holding the atmosphere
    I don’t wanna live like that

    If the sun don’t shine on me today
    If the subways flood and bridges break

    Jesus Christ can’t save me tonight
    Put on your dress, yes wear something nice
    Decide on me, yea decide on us
    Oh, oh, oh, Illinois, Illinois

    Pack yourself a toothbrush dear
    Pack yourself a favorite blouse
    Take a withdrawal slip, take all of your savings out
    Cause if we don’t leave this town
    We might never make it out

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Fires of Hell by Harmony James

    This is the ninety-fifth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Fires of Hell by Harmony James (homeschooled, raised in an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist home).

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    Raised in the back woods hidden away

    And kept out of sight

    Is it any wonder I would want to run to the light

    I ain’t ever been drunk on liquor

    I ain’t ever been kissed

    I heard at the store there’s a whole lot more

    Of sins on that list

    Au revoir and fare thee well

    I’m headed straight for the fires of hell

    Took that Holy Bible right to the bottom of the lake

    Where I’m going I will not be carrying that kind of weight

    Pure as the driven snow but now all set to be defiled

    The sins of the father once again passed on to the child

    Au revoir and fare thee well

    I’m headed straight for the fires of hell

    Get down on your knees dear mama

    Get down and pray

    I get a feeling you’ll be kneeling for my soul to be saved

    I’ve wandered astray

    Au revoir and fare thee well

    I’m headed straight for the fires of hell

    Au revoir and fare thee well

    I’m headed straight for the fires of hell

    I’m headed straight for the fires of hell

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Heretic Heart by Catherine Madsen

    This is the ninety-six installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Heretic Heart by Catherine Madsen.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    I am a bold and a Pagan soul
    A-ramblin’ through this land
    I judge the world by my own lights
    And I come by my own hand
    And if you ask me where I learned
    To live so recklessly

    My skin, my bones, my Heretic heart
    Are my authority

    My mother was a singer of tales
    My father a dreaming man
    And I have swung from the dragon’s tongue
    And danced on Holy Land
    I’ve sung the seed up out of the ground
    And the bird down from the tree

    My skin, my bones, my Heretic heart
    Are my authority

    I once was found but now I’m gone
    Away from the “Faithful Fold”
    Of those who preach that holiness
    Is to do as you are told
    Though law and scripture, priest and prayer
    Have all instructed me

    My skin, my bones, my Heretic heart
    Are my authority

    Now they tell me Jesus loves me
    But I think that he loves in vain
    He must go unrequited
    On me he has no claim
    For the man who would command me must
    (Alt: My Goddess is our Lady Moon)
    Wear the horn and let me be
    (Alt: Whose tides run deep in me)

    My skin, my bones, my Heretic heart
    Are my authority

    And while I breathe this glorious air
    An outlaw I’ll remain
    My body will not be subdued
    And I will not be “saved”
    And if I cannot shout it loud
    I’ll sing it secretly

    My skin, my bones, my Heretic heart
    Are my authority

     

  • Songs of Sacrilege: What if No One’s Watching by Ani DiFranco

    This is the ninety-seventh installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is What if No One’s Watching by Ani DiFranco.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    If my life were a movie
    there would be a sunset
    and the camera would pan away
    but the sky is just a little sister
    tagging along behind the buildings
    trying to imitate their grey
    the little boys are breaking bottles
    along the sidewalk
    the big boys, too
    the girls are hanging out at the candy store
    pumping quarters into the phone
    ’cause they don’t want to go home

    and I think,
    what if no one’s watching
    what it when we’re dead, we’re just dead
    what if it’s just us down here
    what if god ain’t looking down
    what if he’s looking up instead

    if my life were a movie
    I would light a cigarette
    and the smoke would curl around my face
    everything I do would be interesting
    I’d play the good guy
    in every scene
    but I always feel I have to
    take a stand
    and there’s always someone on hand
    to hate me for standing there
    I always feel I have to open my mouth
    and every time I do
    I offend someone
    somewhere

    but what
    what if no one’s watching
    what if when we’re dead, we’re just dead
    what if there’s no time to lose
    what if there’s things we gotta do
    things that need to be said

    you know I can’t apologize
    for everything I know
    I mean you don’t have to agree with me
    but once you get me going
    you better just let me go
    we have to be able to criticize
    what we love
    say what we have to say
    ’cause if you’re not trying to make something better
    as far as I can tell
    you’re just in the way

    I mean what
    what if no one’s watching
    what if when we’re dead
    we’re just dead
    what if it’s just us down here
    what if god is just an idea
    someone put in your head

    I mean what
    what if no one’s watching
    what if no one’s watching…

  • Songs of Sacrilege: Why I Don’t Believe in God by Everclear

    This is the ninety-eighth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Why I Don’t Believe in God by Everclear.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    I heard the truth about you
    And it really doesn’t read at all
    Like the whipping stick you raised me with
    A scared woman in a private hell
    Hushed voice like electric bell
    Strange talk about Edgar Cayce and the long lame walk of the dark 70’s
    I heard the truth about you
    Yeah you
    Mama they woke me up
    I was deep in an idiot sleep
    I was just eight years old
    Heard big words with a horrible sound
    Why’d they have to call my school
    Tell me my mother had a nervous breakdown
    I wish I believed like you do
    Yeah you
    In the myth of a merciful god
    In the myth of a heaven and hell
    I hear the voices you hear sometimes
    Sometimes it gets so much I feel like letting go
    Sometimes it gets so goddamn hard I feel like letting it all go
    Letting it all go
    I ran away, went looking for you
    Back to Culver City and the old neighborhood
    Need to know if you were really gone
    Need to know if you were gone for good
    I ran through the projects at night
    Hide in the dark from my friends in the light
    Hide from my brother-in-law
    Hide from the things he’d say
    Said you weren’t losing your mind
    He said you just needed a rest
    He said you’d be coming home soon
    He said the doctors there would know what’s best
    Said that maybe I could go live with them for a while
    I know the truth about you
    I know the truth
    Mama they woke me up
    I was just eight years old
    Sometimes it gets so hard I feel like letting it go
    Letting it all go

  • Songs of Sacrilege: What Would Scooby Do? by Eddie Scott

    This is the ninety-ninth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is What Would Scooby Do? by Eddie Scott.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    These are pretty swell times
    Or it seems so to me
    For science in books on the web and TV
    Yes the lover of reason just has to say “WOW”!
    There’s a whole lot of really good stuff out there now

    You’ve got Hawking and Dawkins
    Bill Nye’s a big deal
    We’ve had Cosmos with Carl
    And Cosmos with Neil
    But there’s one voice of reason
    Who always comes through

    I am speaking of course
    Of the great Scooby Doo

    When life presents a mystery
    And you can’t make sense of the clues
    Before you proclaim that something spooky’s to blame
    Just try asking “What would Scooby do?”

    Remember that cool caper when a wicked evil ape
    Or maybe some demented crazed orangutan
    Was haunting all the actors on a movie set
    The fact was he scared everyone away
    That seemed to be his evil plan

    Scooby and his friends
    Did they give in to the hysteria?
    Of course not
    They just calmly started searching the whole area

    They carried out their task
    They ripped away the monkey’s mask
    There was no ape at all
    Just stunt man Carl was their man

    When everyone seems baffled
    By a strange occurrence or two
    You’ll soon understand
    An explanation’s at hand

    If you try asking “What would Scooby do?”

    Another time this ghoul was making everyone feel foolish
    With his blood red cape and piercing yellow eyes
    Scaring workers on a scaffold, the authorities were baffled
    Why was a monster hanging out up there on their high-rise?

    Everyone was scared and seemed to want to disappear
    Scooby and his friends said “Something fishy’s happening here”

    They set out undercover
    Sure enough, they soon discovered
    What others called a ghoul
    Was just a robber in disguise

    When people seem bewildered
    By a ghost, a wraith or a ghoul
    It could be a fluke
    It doesn’t have to be spooks

    Just try asking “What would Scooby do?”

    When life presents a mystery
    And you can’t make sense of the clues
    Before you proclaim that something spooky’s to blame
    Just try asking “What would Scooby?”
    “What would good old Scooby?”
    “Tell me what would Scooby do?”

    So when things seem bizarre
    And you’re at your wits’ ends
    Be like old Scooby Doo
    And his Skeptical friends

    For they know it is clear
    What Occam ’s razor commands
    Don’t accept goofy claims
    If something simpler’s at hand

    When life presents a mystery
    And you can’t make sense of the clues
    Before you proclaim that something spooky’s to blame
    Just try asking “What would Scooby?”
    “Tell me what would Scooby?”
    “What would good old Scooby do?”

  • Songs of Sacrilege: H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line

    This is the one hundredth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

    Today’s Song of Sacrilege is H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line.

    Video Link

    Lyrics

    When the sun had left and the winter came
    And the sky fall could only bring the rain
    (I sat in darkness, all broken hearted)
    I couldn’t find a day I didn’t feel alone
    I never meant to cry, started losing hope…
    (But somehow baby) You broke through and saved me

    You’re an angel, tell me you’re never leaving
    Cause you’re the first thing I know I can believe in

    You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
    I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
    You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
    I’m high on loving you, high on loving you

    You made the brightest days from the darkest nights
    You’re the river bank where I was baptized
    Cleanse all the demons
    That were killing my freedom
    Let me lay you down, give me to ya
    Get you singing babe, hallelujah
    We’ll be touching, we’ll be touching heaven

    You’re an angel, tell me you’re never leaving
    Cause you’re the first thing I know I can believe in

    You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
    I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
    You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
    I’m high on loving you, high on loving you

    I don’t need the stars cause you shine for me
    Like fire in my veins, you’re my ecstasy
    (You’re my ecstasy)

    You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
    I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
    You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
    I’m high on loving you, high on loving you

    You’re the healing hands where it used to hurt
    You’re my saving grace, you’re my kind of church

    (You’re holy…)