Tag: Book of Mormon

This is the one hundred and forty-fifth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Turn it Off from The Book of Mormon.

Video Link

Lyrics

ELDER MCKINLEY:
I got a feeling,
That you could be feeling,
A whole lot better then you feel today
You say you got a problem,
well thats no problem,
It’s super easy not to feel that way!

When you start to get confused because of thoughts in your head,
Don’t feel those feelings!
Hold them in instead

Turn it off, like a light switch
just go click!
It’s a cool little Mormon trick!
We do it all the time
When your feeling certain feels that just don’t feel right
Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light
and turn em off,
Like a light switch just go bap!
Really whats so hard about that?
Turn it off! (Turn it off!)

When I was young my dad,
Would treat my mom real bad,
every time the Utah Jazz would loose.
He’d start a’ drinking,
and I’d start a thinking,
How am I gonna keep my mom from getting abused?

I’d see her all scared and my soul was dying,
My dad would say to me, Now don’t you dare start crying.

Turn it off, (Like a light switch just go click!)
(It\’s our nifty little Mormon trick!)
Turn it off! (Turn. It. Off!)

My Sister was a dancer, but she got cancer,
My doctor said she still had two months more
I thought she had time, so I got in line
for the new I-phone at the apple store.

She lay there dying with my father and mother
Her very last words were “where is my brother?”

(Turn it off!) Yeah! (Bid those sad feelings a adieu!)
The fear I might get cancer too,

When I was in fifth grade, I had a friend Steve Blade,
He and I were close as two friend could be
One thing led to another, and soon I would discover,
I was having really strange feelings for Steve

I thought about us, on a deserted Island
We’d swim naked in the sea, and then he’d try and…

WOAH! Turn if off, like a light switch,
there its gone! (Good for you!)
My hetero side just won!
I’m all better now,
Boys should be with girls thats heavenly fathers plan
So if you ever feel you rather be with a man,
Turn it off.

ELDER PRICE:
Well Elder McKinley, I think its ok that your having gay thoughts,
just so long as you never act on them.

ELDER MCKINLEY:
No, because then your just keeping it down,
Like a dimmer switch on low, (On low!)
Thinking nobody needs to know! (Uh oh!)

ELDER PRICE:
But that’s not true!

ELDER MCKINLEY:
Being gay is bad, but lying is worse,
So just realize you have a curable curse,
And turn it off! (Turn it off, turn it off!)

(Dance)

Turn it off!

Now how do you feel!

ELDER PRICE:
The same

ELDER MCKINLEY:
Then you only got yourself to blame,
You didn’t pretend hard enough,
Imagine that your brain is made of tiny boxes,
and find the box thats gay and CRUSH IT!
Ok?

ELDER PRICE:
No, no, -I’m- not having gay thoughts

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Alright! It worked!

(Yay!)

(Turn it off!)

(Turn it off, Turn it off!)

(Turn it off, turn it off like a light switch just go click click!
What a cool little Mormon Trick! Trick trick!
We do it all the time!)

ELDER MCKINLEY:
When your feeling certain feelings that just dont seem right!
Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light!
Turn it off! (Like a light switch, shut it off!)
(Now he isn’t gay anymore!)

(Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it…!)
(Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it…!)
(Turn it…)

ELDER MCKINLEY: Turn it off!