This is the ninety-ninth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is What Would Scooby Do? by Eddie Scott.
These are pretty swell times
Or it seems so to me
For science in books on the web and TV
Yes the lover of reason just has to say “WOW”!
There’s a whole lot of really good stuff out there now
You’ve got Hawking and Dawkins
Bill Nye’s a big deal
We’ve had Cosmos with Carl
And Cosmos with Neil
But there’s one voice of reason
Who always comes through
I am speaking of course
Of the great Scooby Doo
When life presents a mystery
And you can’t make sense of the clues
Before you proclaim that something spooky’s to blame
Just try asking “What would Scooby do?”
Remember that cool caper when a wicked evil ape
Or maybe some demented crazed orangutan
Was haunting all the actors on a movie set
The fact was he scared everyone away
That seemed to be his evil plan
Scooby and his friends
Did they give in to the hysteria?
Of course not
They just calmly started searching the whole area
They carried out their task
They ripped away the monkey’s mask
There was no ape at all
Just stunt man Carl was their man
When everyone seems baffled
By a strange occurrence or two
You’ll soon understand
An explanation’s at hand
If you try asking “What would Scooby do?”
Another time this ghoul was making everyone feel foolish
With his blood red cape and piercing yellow eyes
Scaring workers on a scaffold, the authorities were baffled
Why was a monster hanging out up there on their high-rise?
Everyone was scared and seemed to want to disappear
Scooby and his friends said “Something fishy’s happening here”
They set out undercover
Sure enough, they soon discovered
What others called a ghoul
Was just a robber in disguise
When people seem bewildered
By a ghost, a wraith or a ghoul
It could be a fluke
It doesn’t have to be spooks
Just try asking “What would Scooby do?”
When life presents a mystery
And you can’t make sense of the clues
Before you proclaim that something spooky’s to blame
Just try asking “What would Scooby?”
“What would good old Scooby?”
“Tell me what would Scooby do?”
So when things seem bizarre
And you’re at your wits’ ends
Be like old Scooby Doo
And his Skeptical friends
For they know it is clear
What Occam ’s razor commands
Don’t accept goofy claims
If something simpler’s at hand
When life presents a mystery
And you can’t make sense of the clues
Before you proclaim that something spooky’s to blame
Just try asking “What would Scooby?”
“Tell me what would Scooby?”
“What would good old Scooby do?”