This is the eightieth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Plastic Jesus by the King Earl Boogie Band.
I don’t care if it
Rains or freezes
As long as I’ve got my
Plastic Jesus
Ridin’ on the dashboard
Of my car
Through my trials
And tribulations
And my travels
Through the nation
With my plastic Jesus
I’ll go far
Ridin’ down the thoroughfare
With a nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead
But he don’t mind
Trouble comin’
He don’t see
He just keeps his eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind
With my plastic Jesus
Goodbye and I’ll go far
I said with my plastic Jesus
Sitting on the dashboard of my car
When I’m in a traffic jam
He don’t care if I say damn
I can let all my curses roll
‘Cos Jesus’ plastic doesn’t hear
‘Cos he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic
Saved my soul
With my plastic Jesus
Goodbye and I’ll go far
I said with my plastic Jesus
Sitting on the dashboard of my car
An if I weave around at night
Policemen think I’m very tight
They never find my bottle
Though they ask
‘Cos plastic Jesus shelters me
For his head comes off you see
He’s hollow and I use him like a flask
Woa Woa Woa
Save me
I don’t care if it’s dark or scary
Long as I got magnetic Mary
Ridin’ on the dashboard of my car
I feel that I’m protected amply
I’ve got the love of the whole damn family
Ridin’ on the dashboard of my car
With my plastic Jesus
I said goodbye
And I’ll go far
And I said with my plastic Jesus
I said sittin’ on the dashboard of my car
When I’m goin’ fornicatin’
I’ve got my ceramic Satan
Sittin’ on the dashboard of my car
Women know I’m on the level
Thanks to the wide-eyed stoneware devil
Sneerin’ from the dashboard of my car