What follows is an email exchange I had with a self-proclaimed Evangelical Christian named Frank. I usually don’t respond to the Franks of the world, but my mood being what it is, I thought I would take a few moments and tell Frank what I thought of his email. Enjoy!
Email #1 From Frank
You have an unsubscribe but when I go there it says that is NOT an active web site. I bet if I offered to send money it would be received!!!!!!!! The problem with your message is that bottom line is you are after FREE money!!!!! Get real!!!!!!
Email #1 From Bruce
Dear Frank,
I am so very berry hairy sorry that you are a technologically challenged buffoon and an asshole to boot. These diseases must be difficult for you to live with. I suggest you pray to your God and ask him to deliver you from your afflictions. Surely your God can help you not only unsubscribe from my mailing list, but also to become a decent human being. Are you offended by my response? I’m just following the Bible which says to answer fools according to their folly.
Now, I must get back to counting all the money that has come in from kind, loving, supportive blog readers. A wealthy lot they are, providing me with enough ill-gotten gain for me to buy a brand spanking old 1985 Chevette. Woo Hoo! Ain’t Satan awesome!
Sarcastically yours,
Reverend Bruce Gerencser, thrice ordained, all praise be to Hymn
Email #2 From Frank
Thank you so much. The GOD I serve is a GREAT god. You can be a witness by your actions, and I don’t mean HAMMERING FOLKS with emails after they have asked you to kindly STOP!!!!!
P/S I am taking your word that you are stopping the emails.
Email #2 From Bruce
Dear Frank,
Your email was anything but fine. You might want to go back and read the nasty words you wrote about me asking — in a non-offensive, low key manner — people to consider supporting my work. I assume you attend a local blood cult church. Do they collect offerings? Do they ask members to support their work? These are rhetorical questions, by the way.
Your words were mean-spirited, intentionally so. Your email is yet another reminder of why I am so glad to be free from Christianity. All praise be to Loki.
Your MailChimp profile says you are unsubscribed. I had nothing to do with it. You unsubscribed yourself, and when you tried to do it a second time it returned an error message. You have NOT received numerous emails from me, and you most certainly did not ask me to stop emailing you (but I pinky swear to not email you again). You do know the difference between a mailing list and direct email, right? YOU voluntarily signed up for The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser email mailing list. This mailing list sends subscribers an email each day containing the posts I have written for that day. That goes out at 1:00 AM EST. At the bottom of each mailing list email is a clickable link for unsubscribing. Remember YOU signed up, so if you don’t want to receive the daily emails, all you have to do is click unsubscribe — which you did. You then decided to email me, and I responded. You then emailed me again, and this email serves as my response to you. As you can see Frank, you have received one mailing list email, and, once this is sent, two personal emails. I have not HAMMERED you with emails. Normally, I don’t respond to assholes like you, but today I am in a snarky, Godless, eating-fried-babies, Satanist mood.
Have a Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious day.
Bruce Gerencser, AKA Bruce Almighty
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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