This is the ninety-first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Every Sperm Is Sacred by Monty Python.
Lyrics
There are Jews in the world there are Buddhists
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I’ve never been one of them
I’m a Roman Catholic
And have been since before I was born
And the one thing they say about Catholics is
They’ll take you as soon as you’re warm
You don’t have to be a six-footer
You don’t have to have a great brain
You don’t have to have any clothes on you’re
A Catholic the moment Dad came
Because every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can’t be found
Every sperm is wanted
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon
Spill theirs just anywhere
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood
Every sperm is useful
Every sperm is fine
God needs everybody’s
Mine and mine and mine
Let the pagan spill theirs
Over mountain, hill, and plain
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that’s spilt in vain
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate