Four years ago, I wrote a post titled Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Godly Women Don’t Fart, Burp, or Stick Out Their Tongue by Lori Alexander. This series, of course, focuses on the silly, funny, absurd, stupid, and dangerous things Christians say. In the aforementioned post, Lori Alexander wrote:
As many of you know, I have two new granddaughters. One was born in July and the other in August. They are beautiful and fun to watch. We laugh when their little tongues come continually out of their mouths. When they toot, we think it’s funny. When they burp, we all laugh and are happy they got their air out so it won’t cause a tummy ache. All of their noises are so sweet to all of us. However, when grown women are doing these things, they aren’t funny or cute anymore. It is disgusting and they are not being discreet.
Sticking out your tongue for pictures and having tooting and burping contests are common among women today. I hear it directly from them. They think it’s funny. The Bible tells us otherwise: When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. (1 Corinthians 13:11) Even as our children grew older, they never stuck their tongues out or looked like the girl in the picture. We would never have allowed this. They didn’t burp or toot on purpose in front of us either. (I actually never heard them burp since they had healthy gallbladders.) We taught them from a young age to have manners.
Godly women are called to be discreet and not do anything to draw attention to themselves. They are not children anymore and should not do childish things. It’s amazing that I even have to teach younger women this today. When I was growing up, we never did such things. We would have been mortified! If we had to pass gas, we held it until we were alone. (If you have a lot of gas, you need to find out to heal your digestive system and I am sure less sugar and more real foods with probiotics will help.)
I don’t ever remember having a problem with burping….I would have never stuck out my tongue for pictures, ever. When I see women do this, it looks disgusting. Tongues are meant to help us talk and eat to enjoy our food, not show off to other people, especially when they are coated with a thick white film which usually means they eat too much dairy and other unhealthy foods…
Be a godly feminine woman. Show discretion in all that you do and don’t try to gain attention by doing something that is ugly….
— Lori Alexander, Always Learning, Taking Pictures With Tongues Out, September 29, 2016
Today, an Evangelical man from Singapore left the following comment on the Fart/Burping/Sticking Tongue post:
U r so retarded to write such nonsensensical thing. God created us this way. when we eat, drink or even swallow our saliva, air goes in and needs to be out so we will burp many times a day. Ofcourse it can be done quietly. But who cares when we burp with sounds. We chinese burps when ever, where ever, how ever and with who ever we like. This is everyones freedom. You should just stop eating, drinking or even swallow your own saliva and DIE IN HELL. There is no verses in the Bible says that burping and farting is a sin. This is all self created stupid culture. Oh ya farts is definitely different from burps. Your brain is definitely filled with maggots. U r more than childish to write such thing. Please do everyone a favour and tell Lori Alexandra and u yourself should be locked in mental health hospital and don’t be a disgrace to the society. IDIOTS
Instead of recognizing that I only posted what Alexander wrote; that I have a brain, so I don’t agree with her, this man — much like the Evangelical doctrines of substitutionary atonement and justification — projects Alexander’s words on me. He then proceeds to call me retarded, consigns me to Hell, says my brain is filled with maggots, and in no uncertain terms says that I am a disgrace to society, an idiot, and should be locked up in a mental hospital.
Geez, I never realized my Santa Porn photos made it all the way to Singapore. On a more serious note, how do this man’s words reflect on God, Christianity, and his professed faith in Jesus Christ? Not well, not well.
This man is, of course, banned. I hope he said everything the Holy Spirit “led” him to say. He owes me an apology, but I know no such apology will be forthcoming. That’s just not the style of such people.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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