Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, didn’t actually say that divorced people who remarry will go to Hell when they die. Still, as I shall briefly show below, this is the logical conclusion of her beliefs about divorce and remarriage.
Recently, Alexander posted an article by David J. Stewart titled Is It Okay For a Wife to Divorce an Abusive Spouse? Stewart is an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) Christian who operates the Jesus is Savior website. I wonder if Alexander is aware that in 2011 Stewart allegedly pleaded guilty in Guam to child abuse?
Jesus plainly taught that divorce only happens… “because of the hardness of your hearts” (Matthew 19:8).
No! Leave if you must, but divorce is wrong. Marriage is a lifetime covenant. I received the following e-mail from a woman who left her husband. In a subsequent e-mail she confirmed that she had divorced him…
“I saw your website. I have a question. I am divorced. My husband and I are both saved. I am saved 24 years. He got saved when he met me. He was also an elder in our old church. Anyway, he just kind of turned on me over the years. He was hitting me and the kids. He was also both verbally and emotionally abusive. It was a hard decision, but I had to leave. My ex-husband was destroying my children’ self-esteem and self-worth, not to mention mine. Is it really such a horrible thing that I did? I really don’t think I did the wrong thing. The kids are better now, and I feel safe. Okay, my brother in Christ, please get back to me.”
I’m going to answer this woman’s e-mail with a humble heart and an understanding mind. The Word of God provides the answer to all of life’s questions, but we’ve got to search the Scriptures to know the mind of God. The woman who sent me this e-mail brings up a good point. There are many things that ought to be taken into consideration.
Certainly, abuse is wrong, plain and simple. God created Eve from Adam’s rib, the nearest thing to his heart, to be loved and cherished. A person who is in an abusive relationship has a right to leave. There’s no question about that. Some people have attempted to twist my teachings on marriage and divorce out of context, accusing me of telling women to submit to continued physical and mental abuse. I DON’T teach that and never have. What I do teach is that there are no Biblical grounds for divorce. This is not to say that a wife should not leave an abusive husband; but rather, she should not divorce him.
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1st Corinthians 7:10, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
So, Biblically, if a wife does divorce, she is to REMAIN UNMARRIED. Matthew 5:32b teaches that it is adultery for a divorced woman to remarry…
“Whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”
The focus of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5:32 was not upon divorce as many think; but rather, upon remarriage. It is adultery to get remarried if you divorced your spouse for any reason.
The question is not if it is okay to divorce an abusive spouse; but rather, is it okay to divorce? If you permit exceptions for which to divorce, people will ALWAYS take a foot if you give them an inch; divorcing for every reason. Although divorce is a hotly debated subject, I just believe that God made two people for each other, to spend a lifetime together, for better or worse. If your spouse is sentenced to life in prison, I think you should be there for them, not move on in your self-righteousness. You’re just as much a sinner in God’s eyes. We all deserve to burn in the fires of Hell. You cannot run from responsibilities, tragedy, heartache, and burdens. If you do, it will haunt you until you die if you have any conscience at all.
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Just because your spouse goes to prison or becomes an invalid doesn’t give you a right to divorce and remarry so you can enjoy life. People have no loyalty anymore, neither to God nor their loved ones. This is what the Bible means in 2nd Timothy 3:1-5 when it speaks of people “without natural affection” in the last days. It is natural to love your spouse, family and close friends; but it will not be that way in the end times, and we are already in these times today. Jesus said in Matthew 24 that a man’s foes would be they of his own household.
Most people who file for divorce attempt to claim that Jesus allows for divorce in situations of adultery, but that is not what Jesus taught. What about all the other sins that one’s spouse may commit? Does that provide a grounds for divorce? No, not according to the Lord. Jesus taught in Matthew 18:22 to forgive, 70 times seven. Divorce is the sin of hate, unforgiveness, and hypocrisy.
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Do you realize that less than one-percent of the population divorced in 1900? Recently in southern California the divorce rate skyrocketed to 75.54 %!!! [This statistic is a lie. Please read this article for accurate information about California’s divorce rate.) Most of the divorces are filed by women. Why so much divorce today as compared to a hundred years ago? There are numerous reasons; but primarily, television, women’s liberation, feminism, greedy lawyers, and a Communist agenda to destroy America’s families by rigging the court system always in favor of divorce. Marriages don’t stand a chance plugged into mainstream society. The secret to a happy marriage is to stay as far away from American culture as possible. I’m dead serious. This hellhole society in which we live today is sick, insane, and perverted.
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Husbands are not allowed anymore in today’s heathen American society to Biblically “rule over” their own wives. Women in America have to a large extent become sassy, arrogant, and rebellious against masculine authority, particularly in the home. This is the Devil’s work of feminism. This is why divorce is so commonplace. This is why women have entered church pulpits all across America teaching false doctrines. This is why American society is saturated today with whorishly dressed women with imprudent character and lewd conduct.
The way most American women dress is a disgrace. Even professed Christian women dress and act shamefully. I recently visited a Baptist church in my area. Most of the women in the church were wearing pants, swinging their hips to the contemporary music while clapping their hands. It was a sad sight. And they call this “worship.” The woman in front of me was moving her hips forward and backward, and every time she went forward the slacks she was wearing revealed the outline of her buttocks. The woman next to her was wearing pants and kept swinging her hip from one side to the other while clapping. This is sinful worldliness in the church. I won’t go back. Do you know what the problem is? Apostate pastors who don’t teach their congregation holy living and are afraid to preach against the sin of immodestly dressed women. As with everything else in this sin-cursed world, the love of money is the root of all evil. You can’t even go to church anymore to escape the pollutions of the sinful world. The love of money is the reason why pulpits are silent today.
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Carefully notice that the woman in the e-mail being addressed failed to mention even one negative thing about herself. Oh, she must be an angel. It is sinful pride that causes all divorces. Divorce is a sin. America is a feminist nation, and women are twice as likely to file for divorce than men. Look at World Divorce Rates and see how the evils of feminism have destroyed America’s families.
Interestingly, and sadly, all we see on the internet and in society today is talk about domestic violence; but NEVER do we hear anything about statistics on wives who refuse to obey their husbands. It is evil. IN GOD’S EYES, it is just as sinful for a wife to frustrate her husband through insubordination and disobedience as are the sins of homosexuality and witchcraft.
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As a Christian, I don’t understand that mentality. I thought marriage was supposed to be about LOVE, between two people, forever. If Jesus was willing to suffer and endure the cross for our sins, then we should be willing to do the same for our own spouse. No matter what one’s spouse does, divorce should never be an option. We are living in an unforgiving, hateful, self-righteous society, which loves to sit at home in front of their TV judging everyone else as being a bigger sinner than themselves. You’d better be careful because one day you may be on TV.
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f you filed for divorce, then you have sinned. If you’ve remarried, then you have also commit adultery. If your spouse remarried, then you caused even more adultery. You may find idiots out there who will tell you it’s okay to divorce; but, I am not going to help make you feel better about something you refuse to admit is wrong. If you have divorced, then you need to confess it to God as a sin, make reconciliation with your spouse as much as possible, and then move on in the Lord. If at all possible, the best thing would be for you to return to your spouse rather than remarry another (1st Corinthians 7:11). Only you know your own unique situation, and what needs to be done. God will hold YOU accountable for what YOU have done, and do (Romans 14:12). I say this with a broken heart over the sin of divorce and with a genuine concern for others. I love you in the Lord whoever you may be. No sin is so deep that it cannot be forgiven and cleansed away by Jesus’ precious blood, but the first step is to acknowledge that one has sinned.
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Divorce causes emotional, physical, financial, legal, children and family and spiritual hardships. Divorce is commonplace in this evil generation. People criticize me a lot for defending abusive husbands, but that’s not my intent. I’m defending the institution of marriage. The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9 that the human heart is wicked, desperately evil and deceitful above all else. A lot of women file for divorce because someone coaches them into doing so. People should go to jail for meddling in other people’s marriages. It’s much too easy to divorce these days.
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You CANNOT show me even one Scripture in the Word of God that gives anyone permission to divorce because of abuse. And may I say, the Bible does not permit divorce for adultery either.
Here’s the problem with the no divorce/no remarriage position: everyone who divorces and remarries will go to Hell when they die. Every time they have sex, they are committing adultery. And the Bible is clear: no adulterer will inherit the Kingdom of God. There will be no divorced and remarried people in Heaven.
In a 2021 post titled What IFB Churches Believe About Divorce, I wrote:
Some IFB churches and pastors believe there are no grounds for divorce; that the exceptions granted by Jesus and Paul were given due to the hardness of man’s heart; that God’s standard is “marriage until death do we part.” While allowance was made for women leaving their husbands if they regularly beat them, separating spouses were told that under no circumstances could they divorce and remarry. They were reminded that Jesus said: Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. In other words, remarry and you are an adulterer.
IFB luminary John R. Rice was asked, “Should A Divorced Woman Remarry Her Husband, Who Wants Her Back, Or Marry The Other Man She Is In Love With?” He responded:
She should remarry her husband. You see, when she was married first, she took a solemn vow to love, honor and obey . . . until death do us part. And the Bible clearly teaches that divorce is wrong. Even if the husband mistreated the wife (and of course all husbands and wives are human and fail in some degree), still she was his wife, she had promised to be with him until death, and God wanted her to obey her husband and love him and be true to him.
I think that if a wife will set out to obey her husband, she will find that love will increase. She will have to confess to God her sin of loving another man, and if in her heart she will honestly turn from that in repentance, then God will help her to love her husband and help the husband to forgive and love her. If things are not always easy, still the only way to happiness is to do right and have God’s blessing.
Satan always has some very attractive ways in sin. Sin is always attractive at first, but it always ends bad. The Bible says, ‘The way of transgressors is hard’ (Prov. 13:15). And, again, the Bible says in Numbers 32:23, ‘Be sure your sin will find you out.’ And Romans 6:23 says, ‘The wages of sin is death.’
First Corinthians 7, verses 10-13, says, ‘And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.’”
Now the thing to do is to believe that God will restore happiness and that He will help straighten things out. So give Him a chance to do that.
Rice’s answer was typical of what I heard as a long-time member and pastor of IFB churches.
In 1994, I was between pastorates and Polly and our six children and I attended an IFB church pastored by my best friend. One night, I went with him on a visitation call to a church family who was having marital problems. They were seriously contemplating divorce. My preacher friend made it clear to them that God hated divorce and that there were no Biblical grounds for divorce. He said, “You have two choices. Either reconcile or separate and remain unmarried.” In his eyes, getting a divorce and then remarrying was a grievous sin and grounds for excommunication. He went on to say, “God says, if you remarry, both you and your new spouse are adulterers.”
Later, on our way home, I questioned him about his position on divorce. I asked, “if they remarry, what is it that makes them adulterers?” He replied, “the sex act.” I said, “So, every time they have sex, they are committing adultery?” My friend paused for a moment — thinking this was another one of Bruce’s famous theological traps — and then said, “Yes.” And sure enough, he walked into one of my traps. I replied, “So, no one who is divorced and remarried is a Christian? And anyone in your church who is divorced and remarried (I mentioned several couples by name) will spend eternity in Hell?” As he pondered my questions, I reminded him that the Bible said in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11:
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
“If, as the Bible says, adulterers will not inherit the kingdom of God,” I said, “then doesn’t that mean that divorced-remarried people — whom you say are adulterers — will NOT inherit the kingdom of God?” After a seemingly long period of silence, my friend said, “well, maybe I need to rethink my position.” Ya think?
I wonder if Alexander and Stewart will rethink their position on divorce and remarriage? I doubt it. These two peas in a pod are not known for admitting they were wrong. How could they? Filled with certainty, which breeds arrogance, Alexander and Stewart believe their “words” are straight from the mouth of God.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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