I’m right here among the living, though I’m having quite a spell health-wise. I recently posted three updates on Facebook. Yes, I’m back on Facebook. If you are so inclined, please send me a friend request or follow my page.
Post One
Welp, skin cancer has reared its head for the fifth time in 2026. Previously, I’ve had surgery for squamous cell twice, basal cell, and melanoma. Today, I learned I have squamous cell carcinoma in my nose nostril; concerning, to say the least. My dermatologist biopsied the lesion, but said she’s certain it’s squamous cell. Came on quickly.
I will have to go to Fort Wayne for Mohs Surgery to remove the cancer. No fun, but no choice either.
Post Two
When I came back to Facebook a few months ago, some of my friends thought I must be feeling better. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. My health is significantly worse than it was when I left Facebook. I returned because I’m lonely. I am largely home bound, rarely venturing outside our home — four times in September. I’m not up to giving a long, depressing accounting of my health problems, so here’s a summary.
I’m presently seeing multiple doctors for:
Fibromyalgia
Osteoarthritis
Degenerative Spine Disease
Gastroparesis
Exocrine Pancreatic Insufficiency
Severe Axonal Peripheral Neuropathy (legs)
Skin cancer (squamous cell and melanoma)
Diabetes
High Blood Pressure
I live with chronic pain and debility. If I go anywhere, I must use a cane, walker, or wheelchair. I’m also dealing with increasing memory problems which, quite frankly, scares the shit out me. Same goes for the surgery I need to have for a large squamous cell carcinoma in my nose canal. Not much I can do except face what comes, that is until I no longer want to do so.
I have a hard time reading books and magazines these days. I watch a lot more TV and YouTube videos. One positive thing about my memory loss, is that I can’t remember what I watched, so everything is “new” to me. Woo Hoo!, right? My writing production has dropped dramatically, though I still hope to do more blogging in the weeks ahead. I haven’t given up, but some days I can’t even get out of bed, so it’s hard to be motivated to write.
I appreciate your love, kindness, and support. Facebook leaves a lot to be desired, but it does keep me connected with people who are important to me. And I really love cat 🐈⬛ pictures and memes. 😜😜
Post Three
I mentioned a week ago that my dermatologist said I had squamous cell carcinoma in my nasal canal. This will be my sixth skin cancer surgery in the last year, including melanoma in January. It seems skin cancer loves me. 😜😜
My dermatologist, of course, did a biopsy of a 6 mm by 8 mm tumor in my right nose canal. The biopsy came back positive. I have a moderately differentiated squamous cell carcinoma. This is middle level on the cancer scale. Based on the pathology report, the cancer is likely into surrounding tissue.
The biopsy was shaved off level with the surrounding area, but I noticed yesterday that the tumor is growing, and the shaved area is no longer level. Of course, this doesn’t surprise me. It grew quickly before the biopsy. No reason to think it won’t keep growing after the biopsy. Thus, the reason for surgery — soon.
I’m worried, not overtly so, but an appropriate amount for the matter at hand. I will require plastic surgery once the cancer is removed. Sometimes, they can use inner nose tissue to repair the skin. If the surgeon is unable to do this, he may graft skin from the cheek or in back of the ear. A larger graft will come from elsewhere, maybe my ass? 😜😜 I’m worried about that. Does that mean I’d smell ass all the time? I know, I know, my weird sense of humor. 😜😜
I tend to be stoic. I take what comes in life. When I was a Christian, I thought “take what comes in life” was Greek for doing the will of God. As an atheist? It’s simple and direct: shit 💩 happens. I don’t deserve anything better or worse than anyone else. I’m but an insignificant speck in the vastness of the universe. I’ve been told by a few Evangelical Christians that my skin cancer troubles are God’s judgment on me for leaving Christianity. Such things no longer bother me. I genuinely feel sorry for such people.
Most of my skin cancers are the result of frequent sunburns, including numerous blistering burns. I’m a light-skinned, redheaded, blue-eyed hunk of a man 😜 of Scandinavian descent (Mom’s side).😜😜 I attract sunburns like my youngest grandson is attracted to donuts. 😜 So, I’ve been dealing with pre-cancers and skin cancer for twenty years. Besides the surgeries, I have had more pre-cancers treated with liquid nitrogen than I can count. And then I had four rounds of topical chemotherapy — face, nose, hands, arms. If you have ever had this treatment, you know it can turn your skin into a bright red, at times, bloody mess — especially the first time.
What remains unanswered for me is several squamous cell tumors in areas not exposed to sun. One tumor I had removed was on my hip. I guarantee you my ass has never seen sunlight. 😜😜 Why in these places?
I must always remember that when times are difficult, it could be worse; that there are scores of people suffering far more than I am. As a pastor, I saw a lot of sickness, disease, and death. I’ve watched good people suffer horribly before they died. I know it could be worse. That said, pain and suffering are personal for us all. Polly still covers her eyes when I’m being stuck, injected, and cut. She wonders how I can stand it. Simple. Lots of practice. 😜 Besides, she’s gone through things medically I’ve never experienced, including seventeen days in the hospital and leaving with a colostomy bag (which was reversed a year later). Polly was relatively healthy until this point. Things sure can turn on a dime. And she had six babies naturally without one epidural. She’s tough, even though she complains about me not putting down the toilet seat.😜
Thanks for your love, ❤️ kindness, and support.
(Picture from 1960s. I was stylish even back then.😜❤️)
Conclusion
I still have hope, but I must admit that some days it’s hard to see the proverbial silver lining in my life. I intend to continue writing until I no longer can do so. Some days, like today, I have small windows to productively read and write. Other days, I feel like Humpty Dumpty as he lies in pieces at the bottom of the wall.
