Tag Archive: Women Weaker Vessel

How My Relationships With Women Have Changed Post-Jesus

temptress

I grew up in a system of religious faith that taught me a negative view of women. Every Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) pastor and professor who instructed me in the True Christian Faith® taught me the following:

  • Women were created by God to be their husbands’ helpmeets.
  • Women are commanded by God to be keepers of their homes. Their primary tasks are housekeeping, cooking meals, caring for children, and spreading their legs whenever their husbands want sex.
  • Women, when compared to men, are weaker vessels and need the protection of males.
  • Men are the head of their homes and their wives are to submit to their rule and authority.
  • Women are temptresses, leading men (and teen boys) into sexual immorality.
  • Women have the duty to dress in ways to keep men from lusting after them. Women, then, are sexual gatekeepers.
  • Women cannot be pastors or serve in any church capacity that puts them in authority over men. Some of pastors and professors taught me that women were to be silent in church and were not permitted to participate in church governance.

These beliefs were modeled — albeit imperfectly and hypocritically — to me throughout my primary, secondary, and post-secondary years. It should come as no surprise, then, that once I began preaching and pastoring churches, I taught these beliefs to congregants. Multiple generations of people were taught by me that women were inferior, dangerous beings best suited for domestic work, teaching women, preparing church dinners, and staffing the nursery.  Women who violated these Biblical truths were viewed as rebellious towards God, their churches, and their husbands.

My wife and I lived by these beliefs for many years. Our home was what I would call a traditional IFB home. Not only did Polly care for the home, she also home schooled our six children. For five years, she taught our children and others in our church’s private Christian school. Polly did work in a church day care (Temple Tots, a ministry of the Newark Baptist Temple) and taught third grade one year at Licking County Christian Academy in Heath, Ohio. Polly received a lesser wage than male teachers because I was the head of our home; she was  not.

Ten years before we deconverted, Polly took a job cleaning offices at a local manufacturing concern. She works for this company today as a manager, recently celebrating twenty years on the job. By the time Polly started working at Sauder Woodworking, our marriage had evolved, taking on more of an egalitarian quality. Our quest for true marital equality and egalitarianism continues to this day. Old habits die hard, but we do work presenting an egalitarian model to our children and grandchildren. I suspect this late in the game we will never outlive the deep marks complementarianism has made on us personally and on our marriage.

It wasn’t until I deconverted that I was able to have female friends. As long as Jesus and I were best friends, I had no female friends. How could I, since I believed that some women were temptresses out to seduce and bed me? I had women I considered acquaintances, but I always kept them at arm’s length out of fear of being tempted to sin. I was taught to avoid the very appearance of evil. Thus, I was not permitted to enjoy the company of women if my wife was not present. No social interaction whatsoever was permitted. Of course, this kind of thinking cut me off from a wealth of wisdom and knowledge. When it came to the churches I pastored, I ran the show, and when serious decisions had to be made, it was the men who made them. Women were permitted to vote in business meetings, but there was no doubt about which sex and which member of that sex was in charge.

in 2008, I divorced Jesus. Once free of Christianity, I was then free to be friends with whomever I wanted, regardless of their sex (or sexual orientation). Now, this doesn’t mean that I am oblivious to the fact that close company with the opposite sex can and does lead to moral compromise. That said, I don’t “fear” women. I own my sexuality, so it’s up to me how and to what degree I interact with women. Both Polly and I are free to enjoy the company of the opposite (or same) sex, even though, quite frankly, we enjoy one another’s company the most.

Earlier this week, I had my beard trimmed. I was starting to look a lot more like Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomer, than Santa Claus. Prior to this appointment, my hair — when I had any — and beard had always been trimmed by men. This time a woman trimmed my beard. I became casually acquainted with her (and her husband) several years ago as I photographed my grandson’s baseball games. Her son played on my grandson’s team. I have run into her many times since at baseball games, high school games, and school events. A month or so ago, I ran into her at a local high school basketball game. I knew that she cut hair, so I asked her if she trimmed beards. I told her my previous barber was quite a hack, and I was looking for someone to care for Santa’s beard. She told me she trimmed beards, so this week I had her cut mine. She did a wonderful job. I must admit that it felt strange having a woman not named Polly run her fingers through my beard. That said, she’s the beard trimmer for me.

As Polly and I were leaving, I told the woman who trimmed my beard, “you are the first woman to ever cut my hair or trim my beard in almost sixty-two years.” I did not tell her that it took divorcing Jesus for me to be comfortable with a woman who is not my wife touching my hair and/or beard. I believe she is religious, so I don’t want to have THAT discussion while she has scissors in her hand.

Did you avoid relationships with the opposite sex due to your religious beliefs? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.

About Bruce Gerencser

Bruce Gerencser, 61, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 40 years. He and his wife have six grown children and twelve grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist. For more information about Bruce, please read the About page.

Bruce is a local photography business owner, operating Defiance County Photo out of his home. If you live in Northwest Ohio and would like to hire Bruce, please email him.

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Christians Says the Darnedest Things: Lori Alexander Says Women Too Weak to Serve in Military

lori-alexander

Should godly women be in the military, police force, or firefighters? No, godly women should not be in any of these and I will try to explain why I believe this. In the Bible, only men were the ones to go to war and they had to be 20 years old or older. “Take ye the sum of all the congregation of the children of Israel, after their families, by the house of their fathers, with the number of their names, every male by their polls; From twenty years old and upward, all that are able to go forth to war in Israel: thou and Aaron shall number them by their armies” (Numbers 1:2, 3).

Women are the weaker vessel. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7). “The thing which the husband is specially to understand and take into account is that he is dealing with a thing less strong than himself…The weakness here ascribed to the female sex is primarily that of the body, as we shall see when we consider the word ‘vessel,’ though it may, perhaps, indicate frailty in other respects as well.” (Elliot’s Commentary) And I am sure the feminists will love Matthew Poole’s definition of this verse; “weaker than the husbands, and that both in body and mind, as women usually are.”

In past generations, EVERY ONE knew that men are stronger physically and emotionally than women. Men have ten times the testosterone than women do. Yes, men’s struggle is with their sexual nature but women’s struggle is with their emotional nature. Men and women are different. We are not the same. (It’s sad that I even have to write these words.)

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The Lord instructs husbands to be the head of their wives. “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body” (Ephesians 5:23). They are over them to protect and provide for them. This is God’s perfect plan in marriage and in society; it is the men who are to be the protectors. Being in the military, a firefighter, or policeman takes strength. Unfortunately, feminists have bullied men into women being able fulfill these positions. We are called to be feminine with gentle and quiet spirits. These jobs are all masculine.

Can you even imagine what women in the military who are captured by the enemy must endure? I am sure it is horrible! Women are much more vulnerable and defenseless than men. Women are the ones who are raped. (Yes, some men are being raped today, too, in today’s perverted society but it normally takes several men to do this whereas it only takes one man against one woman to rape a woman.) How about a female police officer caught in the middle of a gang? What if a female firefighter had to drag a 200 pound man down from a second story on a ladder to save his life? Women cannot do this. It is all nonsense.

— Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, Should Women Be in the Military, Police Force, or Firefighters?  June 27, 2017

Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Men Are Like God, Women are Weak and Need of Protection

keeping women in line

John Rice  [a Fundamentalist Evangelist, editor of the Sword of the Lord, and author of such titles as The Home and Bobbed Hair, Bossy Wives, and  Women Preachers] wrote this about this topic. “A man is like God in a sense that a woman is not like God…God is always in the Bible, called He, never Her. He is called Father, not Mother, Christ is called the man Christ Jesus, not the woman…I do not mean that Christ is not the Saviour every woman needs, not that He does not know her every longing, feel her every sorrow, meet her every need. But God would not have had the Bible so full of it if He did not want us to notice that Christ was a Man, not a woman, and that man is therefore made in the image of God in a sense that cannot be true of women. So, in the home, man is deputy of God, and should lead the home for God.”

I love the fact that Christ was a man since men are our protectors. They are bigger and stronger. They are not led by their emotions and feelings as easily. They are more steady. I am happy that I am not the protector and provider of my family. Men have a much bigger responsibility than women have been given and a man’s nature is created for this and woman’s is not. Most men wouldn’t want to worship a female god. They want a strong and masculine God like the One we have been blessed with. He is perfect in every way!

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The only reason women have so much “power” today is because men have given it to them. They could have never gotten it if men didn’t allow it because men are mightier in strength than women. God originally created man to have power and dominion over the earth. He never has given this responsibility to women. He made men the Kings, Prophets, Priests, Disciples, Apostles, and Elders for a good reason and His purpose. This is His plan.

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Most women today would despise this teaching. It doesn’t bother me in the least because I love being a woman and I love God’s ways. God created men to be the leaders and women the followers, just our body makeup proves this point. We are the weaker and softer sex so we should be the more gentler one. Women are the more lovely of the sexes, especially when we wear some make up, fix our hair, and wear prettier and more colorful clothing. Men are highly attracted to women. Godly, good women bring a lot of beauty to this earth. We make our homes places of loveliness. We bear and raise godly offspring. As we do all of this, we bring honor and dignity to our husbands and to the Lord.

— Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife,  Woman is the Glory of Man, May 26, 2017

Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Godly Men are on a Superior Level to “Unsubmissive” Women

wives submission

Good men, God-fearing men are very very important. We all heard “cut off the head”, right?!?! The enemy knows this so he makes it a point to destroy relationships between man and woman. Satan hates the man that knows not only to protect the woman from the dangers of the natural world but also from the more dangerous  supernatural world. These men are rare, the ones that lead families etc. in the ways of God. They’re on another level placed there by their continued submission to God. Promoted by God for His glory. So that woman must get on his level. Not the level he put himself on but the level God is placing him on. Samson was messing with females that weren’t on his level and it cost him his life and anointing. The woman can’t jump ship when the trials and tests hit the home. She shouldn’t tell the man to “curse God and die” like Job’s wife did, because she blames him for all the drama and pain in her life, yet he was blindsided by it all too. A woman that submits to God and a man of God will be honored by her husband. He will brag on her at the gates, lol. God created an order, a structure. Women say they want good men but for some reason they keep throwing their lures in the same wrong pond(club, bar etc). Murky water! God’s pond crystal clear but get your level up ladies by seeking Him and He just might grant you access to peaceful waters.

— EmJay, Seeking His Kingdom, A Word to the Ladies From EmJay, April 25, 2017

Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Women are Weak, Emotional, and Easily Deceived by Lori Alexander

women-weaker-vesselAs we know from the Bible, women are the weaker sex (1 Peter 3:7) and are more easily deceived (1 Timothy 2:14). We allow our emotions to control some of our life and decisions. This is why God has said that women are not to teach nor be in authority over men (1 Timothy 2:12). God made women and men differently for the different purposes He has created them for. He has created women to get married, bear children, and guide the home (1 Timothy 5:14 and Titus 2:4, 5).

The reason women are flocking to Jesus Calling and many of the female Bible teachers and writers is because they appeal to their emotional nature. Women love to feel things. If they don’t feel in love with their husbands, they will often divorce them to find another man they might feel in love with. They may not even feel that they love one of their children but they must regardless of their feelings. Women love to feel emotional over the Lord and His Word. I am not saying this is wrong but it shouldn’t be our goal. Our goal should be to obey the Lord by doing what He has clearly told us to do in His Word without depending upon our emotions to lead us.
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Since we know we are the weaker vessel and easily deceived, it is all the more reason to be in the Word daily and be led by the perfect will of God, no longer allowing our emotions to run and ruin our lives. If you want God to speak to you personally, as Justin Peter said, “Dear ones, if you want to hear God speak to you, there’s one way I can guarantee you that you will hear God speak, read your Bible. If you want to hear God speak to you audibly, read it out loud. I promise you, I promise you, you’ll hear Him speak.”

Lori Alexander, Always Learning, Emotions are Not Dictators, September 26, 2016