I am Facebook friends with several notable players in the Evangelical deconstruction market. They present themselves as enlightened folks, people who have found a way — supposedly — hang on to Evangelicalism (or Christianity in general) without all its social, cultural, and political baggage. In their minds, one can believe the central claims of Christianity about God, Jesus, and salvation without accepting and believing the stuff in the Bible that makes one feel uncomfortable. As every Christian does, they pick and choose what they want to believe, rejecting or ignoring anything that offends their sensibilities.
Deconstruction means tearing down your beliefs and rebuilding them. According to these gurus, deconstruction always leads the deconstructee back to some sort of recognizable Christian faith. This means that former Evangelicals-turned-atheists did deconstruction wrong. Their journey should have led them to a restored, vibrant faith. In their minds, deconstruction can never to deconversion — the loss of faith. Their pronouncements about following the path wherever it leads have conditions. Faith in Jesus is the end game, and not facts, truth, and evidence.
You can’t expect people to reexamine their beliefs without risking that they might, for good reason, conclude that their beliefs were false; that Christianity is a false bill of goods. When confronted with the reality that scores of people are not only deconstructing, but deconverting, these gurus often resort to the same tactics as Fundamentalist Christians, questioning whether these former believers did deconversion right or truly understand the essentials of faith in Jesus. Or they resort to suggesting that hurt feelings or trauma are the real reasons people deconvert rather than deconstructing and rebuilding.
I am an agnostic atheist because I concluded that the central claims of Christianity are false; that they cannot be rationally sustained. What I am supposed to do? Fake it until I make it? That’s not how I live my life. Deconstruction leads in many directions, including right out the door of Christianity. Are we somehow less than if we reject Christianity altogether? What else would you have us do? Believe what we know to be not true?
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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“Deconstruction means tearing down your beliefs and rebuilding them.”
This pretty much describes what I did.
“You can’t expect people to reexamine their beliefs without risking that they might, for good reason, conclude that their beliefs were false; that Christianity is a false bill of goods.”
Yes, quite right. This is what happened. Over the next few years, it became increasingly apparent that it was mostly fiction.
Faking it until you make it is for developing professional skills, like public speaking. I still remember that my first attempt at that–even after some coaching–was extraordinarily difficult. Years later, the university department that granted my MS geology degree was determined that no student of theirs was going to graduate without some skill in public speaking, and gave me ample opportunity to refine my skill. I am grateful.
That is totally different from faking belief in something presented without evidence, until you somehow magically believe it. I sat in lectures for many years where professors were adept at public speaking; I had evidence that it was something I could achieve. There is no extra-biblical supporting evidence for the supernatural claims of the Bible, and in many cases, not support for the natural claims.
Karen–That is an excellent explanation. You can’t “fake it till you make it” in religious belief any more than Elizabeth Holmes could “fake it until she made it”: The system she claimed to have invented had as much foundation in evidence and science as belief in a mythological being.
That’s why I never say I deconstructed my faith. I deconverted.
I was use to fundamentalists beating my up but what I did not expect was the Emergents and the Liberal Christians flipping out when I didn’t sojourn with them and stay with them. I sat and watched them wave bye bye.
it’s nothing new that christainity is being changed yet again, and it’s great fun to watch them destroy their own lies.
I tried faking it until I made it and I just couldn’t. After we were kicked out of the baptist church, we joined the catholic church. Every Sunday I felt like a liar; I knew I didn’t believe. I liked the people in our catholic church, and I felt like I was lying to them too. I couldn’t in good conscience continue to lie to myself, my kids, or the people I was in church with. I would much rather be truthful than to live with that cognitive dissonance.
Laine–I had a similar experience in the last church I attended. It was a “liberal” congregation with openly LGBT members and female clerics. We did some really good work with the unhoused, AIDS victims and others less fortunate than ourselves. And, as you say, most of the congregants were good people. That is exactly the reason I couldn’t stay: I didn’t believe anymore and I had too much respect for them to pretend otherwise.
This is interesting. If you were a Christian but aren’t anymore, it means you didn’t Jesus the right way.
But if you examine your beliefs, find them wanting and reject them, you’re deconstructing wrong.
Hmm….
For me it’s a matter of sheer faith. The existence of God can neither be proven or disproven. Neither can the efficacy of the Bible or whatever other religious means or activity is practiced. You step out in faith one way or another. And there’s no doubt a mystical element either way.
I do reject the idea that you either have to accept an infernalist, terrible reading of scripture, like a “left behind” take on Revelation for one example or reject it all. Reading the early church fathers would probably help everyone who really cares about this. But that’s not to say that there aren’t problems in the Bible which believers have the answers to. Like the book of Job for example, that story. Or a host of others. I’m in Numbers right now, and I doubt that all of the events actually happened. Like the earth swallowing up Korah and company.
Life itself to me is a challenge to understand both in my immediate world and the rest of life on earth. Makes no sense in many ways. I guess we’re all trying to figure it out, especially given the Modernist viewpoint we’ve inherited. But I think life itself along with religious tradition can teach us. But we should always be asking questions. Well, that’s something like my part of my view.
I really personally am more concerned about how people live than what they say they believe. Although believing can be for good or ill. Like being religious sanctioning anyone’s or group’s actions since they suppose or dream that God is behind it or on their side.
Ted, Yes it’s difficult to figure out life. Who knows what’s actually true an what’s not. One thing’s clear: the burning, rageaholic sky daddy is myth. Maybe we’ll eventually discover if there’s something on the other side. But until then, the only thing I’ll ever be dogmatic about is not being dogmatic about anything spiritual.
Never heard of deconstruction, but I’ve sometimes noticed that it is unlikely for a rigorously fundamentalist Christian to become anything but an atheist. (At least a few well known atheists fit the bill Seth Andrews and Paul Ens aka Paulogia) Since fundamentalism is black or white, once you see that it is errant the whole belief is squished like grape. Now if someone was more amenable to the metaphorical context of many things in the Bible, moving the goalpost is much more possible. Incidentally, I’m an exception since I came out of a very liberal Christian denomination, though I was never particularly passionate about it.
As for “doing it wrong”… don’t see how that is even possible. Yes tear it apart, but if you can’t rebuild it then it is right for you. One should always challenge their beliefs, if it can’t stand the scrutiny of self cross examination it is time for new beliefs.
I settled in liberal, progressive Christianity for awhile after leaving fundamentalism. I’m not certain that my leaving fundamentalism was actually deconstruction rather than an urgent feeling that I HAD TO GET OUT of fundamentalism. The liberal church I settled into for several years was nothing about sin and hell and everything about being a better person and serving other people. Bible stories were just stories, lessons, not to be taken literally. And it was all well and good for awhile until I realized that it was all just stories based on ancient superstitions and ignorance about how the world works. I couldn’t un-know that realization once I had it. I stopped going to church and ignored religion for years. Then I started actively deconstructing – absorbing books and blogs and lectures ad nauseum. I consider deconstruction to be the journey of the rest of my life. There’s Reconstruction too – learning new things, or exploring knowledge in a deeper way, and connecting with other people. I consider it a journey that has no end except death.
I have watched some deconstructed evangelicals on YouTube. The one that comes to mind is a relative of Benny Hinn. He rightfully exposes the cruel and fraudulent nature of Hinn’s type of performative entertainment “Christianity”, so for that I certainly think he deserves credit.
That said, I also wonder if “deconstruction” is just a new flavor of the month for a style of religion that mimics popular American culture. Before it mimicked the hyper patriotic post 9-11 culture, now it tries to mimic the new complicated “woke” culture.
I have made the comparison before of American evangelicalism to MLM Amway style scams (as well as Scientology). These groups are always adapting to the latest fad, but the goals are always the same- butts in seats, forced enthusiasm, cult-like devotion and at the end of the day dollars separated from parishioners.
A true friend respects another’s autonomy as far as their religion, spirituality, humanity, etc. Ironically, Bruce’s post touched a nerve for me. I come from a family of Pentecostal fundamentalists, although my late father left that belief behind. I became Catholic five years ago, the only one on both sides of my family. So far, other than the “praying to Mary” question, I cannot say I have been treated negatively. I recently “made peace” of sorts with my last surviving uncle (still a Pentecostal). My religious choice never came up in the conversation. Instead we just talked like two human beings who have had a life journey, albeit in different directions. My uncle just turned 82 and lives several states away, so this may well be my last conversation with him. I am very thankful for how well it went, as I was extremely worried it would turn out negative. He was a very positive presence in my troubled teenage years (which included some abuse I don’t want to go into) and I did not want us to part on bad terms.
If we are going to move past our current culture war, we have to learn to respect other’s right to autonomy and viewpoint, otherwise we will become like East Germany or worse North Korea. Respect is not the same as agreement, I would never ask Bruce or anyone else to agree with my choice of faith. But I read and write on this page because neither Bruce nor anyone else has ever disrespected me. I have no intention on using my posts to promote Catholicism. I struggle myself with the vast abuse and other problems past and present, but at the end of the day it is where I feel fulfilled. I am always grateful that my interactions on this page are positive in spite of this.
This makes me even more mindful that I must extend respect to everyone else- Bruce, the LGBTQ community, etc.
These “deconstructed” Christians probably will never understand the discredit they bring to their faith when they engage in tactics like these- pretending to be “simpatico” but then trying to pull butt-hurt heart strings when Bruce doesn’t play ball with them they way they want. If you really want to repair your religion’s reputation, start with real and unconditional respect for others’ autonomy. That is all.
John S.: You came by your religious beliefs honestly, after much soul-searching. You also seem to be broad minded and tolerant of others’ religious beliefs – or lack thereof. Catholicism works for you, but you are wise enough know your tradition isn’t for everyone. Your post brought to mind a quote from Matthew 7:20, “Therefore by their fruits you will know them.” Looks to me like you’re a good producer! 😉
Thank you Karuna! I appreciate your very kind response.
It’s interesting that the sayings of Jesus in the Gospels have become, strangely, more meaningful to me since I left Christianity and became a Buddhist. One of those sayings will come up occasionally during an experience I have in everyday life, bringing an insight into the situation that I find illuminating. John S.’s comment did that, for example. Maybe those sayings, detached from sermonizing and dogma, are all the more powerful and penetrating, like a Zen koan. And, if I remember correctly, a modern Sufi teacher said that it was sad that Christians didn’t appreciate the depths and richness of their religion. I guess us outsiders do, a bit. 🙏
There’s something suspiciously similar to the way most religions start. Most begin with an altruistic intent, only to morph into control systems. But there’s a common unifying thread, a Tao if you will, that runs through all of them. Most of them admit such commonalities, that is, except Christian fundaments: “Resting and thinking peaceful, meditative thoughts? DEMONISM!”