My religious lineage goes something like this: Christian, Protestant, Evangelical, and Baptist. Depending on your point in my story, my lineage also includes self-identifiers such as Calvinist, Reformed/Sovereign Grace Baptist, non-cessationist, Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB), Southern Baptist, and non-denominational. The first thirty years of my life were spent in the IFB church movement.
IFB believers are known for Bible literalism, inerrancy, and infallibility. IFB pastors and congregations are particularly known for their “Biblical” rules, regulations, and church standards. These standards govern virtually every aspect of life. Believers are taught to not fellowship with unbelievers and to abstain from the very appearance of evil. The “world” — everyone except IFB Christians — is the enemy, one that must be fought and vanquished every moment of every day — month in, month out, year in, and year out. Life is preparation for the world to come (Amos 3:3). IFB adherents are reminded weekly by their pastors of the sins of the flesh and how dangerous the unregenerate world really is. Self-esteem is deemed a sin, and giving in to carnal lusts and desires brings the chastisement of God.
Ask an IFB Christian what he does for fun, and he will likely list church-related, Jesus-focused, Bible-approved practices and experiences. As an IFB pastor, I planned all sorts of fun church activities: bowling, canoeing, roller skating, lock-ins, camping trips, hiking, and dinners, along with numerous promotional events used to draw large crowds to church. We had “fun,” but never apart from the centrality of the gospel and preaching. We NEVER had fun for fun’s sake. Jesus was at the center of, or lurking nearby, everything we did as a church.
Spending three decades in this sort of religious environment caused all sorts of psychological harm. Outside of our family attending dirt track races in the 1980s and 1990s, we rarely did anything “fun” that didn’t include Jesus and/or church. My partner, Polly, and I have six adult children. We took lots of road trips with our children loaded up in the back of a beat-up station wagon. While we saw all sorts of new things and had lots of fun, there was always a religious component. I would look for a church for us to visit while we were traveling, or better yet where I could do the preaching. There were eight people in our family, but Jesus always traveled with us, making sure we stayed on the straight and narrow while away from the prying eyes of other Christians.
Last Saturday, Polly and I attended a dance recital for two of our granddaughters. We had a delightful time. As I sat there watching my granddaughters do tap and ballet, I pondered how I would have viewed their performances if I were still an IFB pastor. I likely wouldn’t have even attended the recital. Why? I considered ALL dancing a sin. Worse, the dancers wore skimpy, sexually suggestive clothing — even the preschoolers. The dance routines were all performed to “worldly” music — even wicked, evil, vile rock-and-roll songs. ABSTAIN, BRUCE, ABSTAIN!
Several weekends ago, Polly and I discussed how different life would have been for us and our family had we remained Evangelicals; had I remained a pastor. I suspect we would have fractured, strained relationships with our children and grandchildren — especially if they weren’t Christians. Fundamentalism demands your all . . . all to Jesus I surrender, all to him I freely give, the hymn goes. Duty and obedience demanded surrendering “fun for fun’s sake” for the sake of the gospel. For IFB Christians, fun will wait till they reach Heaven. Until then, “fun” is what wicked, sinful worldlings do instead of going to church three or more times a week.
These days, Polly and I have fun because we can — no strings attached. Some of our fun is sinful, or runs contrary to our IFB upbringing. Southern Baptist evangelist, the late Bob Harrington, the Chaplain of Bourbon Street, preached a famous sermon titled “It’s Fun Being Saved.” (Please see Evangelist Bob Harrington: It’s Fun Being Saved.) Maybe I need to preach a sermon “It’s Fun Being a Godless Heathen.” When I compare my former IFB life to that of my present life as an atheist and a humanist, the here-and-now wins hands down. We no longer have to measure our behavior by the Bible or the teachings of our peculiar sect or the personal proclivities of our pastor (me). We are free to do what we want.
Ask former Evangelicals what they gained by deconverting, and they will say: FREEDOM. Freedom to live life on their own terms. Freedom to have fun and enjoy life without fear of offending God, the pastor, or the church.
How has your view of “fun” changed since you deconverted or left the IFB church movement? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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I was never a wild person. As a teen, I never drank, smoked, used drugs, or had sex. Never even had a boyfriend. And yet, I was appalled by the strict Christian rules many of my classmates had to live with. No rock music. No dancing. No Dungeons and Dragons. No fantasy. No Halloween. No sci-fi. That was all too much for me. All my mom asked was that I don’t break the law and wait until I was an adult to do adult stuff.
No wonder the Christian clubs at my school were so hypocritical. You want to know the biggest binge drinkers on campus? The most sexually active? The most attendees at the illegal keggers in the county? Look no farther than the Federation of Christian Students.
I used to think it was just hypocrisy, but looking back, I think it may be because they weren’t allowed to do anything else. They used to brag about what they got away with. “Adults are stupid,” they used to say. Yes, sometimes they are.
Bruce, until I was in my late teens, I had no concept of fun that didn’t involving sinning. Those sins included: listening to pop music; kissing boys; watching forbidden movies (on canvas seats at the local picture theatre);and knowing more than I was supposed to about reproduction and menstrual cycles. So, yes, I’m just starting to discover fun!
“Fun” was a strange concept in fundamentalist evangelicalism. It seemed like at church and Christian school, they wanted there to be some components of fun in order to keep people coming back. But we were never allowed to forget that we were supposed to be leading people to salvation, living an example, exalting Jesus, etc. We couldn’t just have fun for fun’s sake.
Fun without guilt for a young Christian is hard to pull off. If I looked back on pretty harmless activities as a younger person I would feel guilty if they were in any way disapproved by my church or parents. I missed so many rites of passage that younger people typically experience. What an an albatross religion can be
I was forbidden to do so many fun things. While watching Saturday morning cartoons, I was told, “Only the funny ones.” Translation: “You can watch Bugs Bunny or Tom and Jerry, but NO FIREBALL XL-5 or JONNY QUEST!”
One thing I have to appreciate from my liberal Lutheran upbringing is just how diametrically opposite is from the experiences of fundamentalists cited here. I was fortunate to have a great youth director at the time. Yes, typically fun stuff like ice skating, roller skating, Cedar Point, always started and ended with a prayer. Other than that it was just kids being kids. The youth director made a comment once about teens who thought that a roller rink reserved for church was going to be a lame straight laced affair. “Not necessarily” was her response. I’d add this IS in the spirit of Jesus. The fun is made for man, not man for the fun (or the “cause”). (I think that makes sense?)
I was raised Evangelical/Word of Faith and whatever else my dad gleaned from extremists. Every other year he shot up our tv. Literally. When we did have one, only news or TBN were allowed (mom hid commercials with her skirt). There was only one time during my childhood when I was allowed to watch Saturday morning cartoons, and it was while staying with a pastor friend. I still don’t know why they allowed it. But for that one morning, I was the happiest kid you ever saw.
And of course, no Space Ghost, Superman, or the Herculoids on Saturday mornings. As for weekly primetime viewing, once again, only the funny ones, which translated into The Andy Griffith Show, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Leave It to Beaver, My Three Sons, Gilligan’s Island, Green Acres, and a few others. It’s 2024 and I’m STILL catching up on The Man From U.N.C.L.E., The Girl From U.N.C.L.E., Secret Agent Man, Batman, and James Bond. For some reason, Lost in Space and Star Trek were allowed. But when All in the Family, MASH, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Barney Miller, and Columbo hit the airwaves, Mom finally gave up and declared them “Clean Shows.”
As for radio and records, Mom labeled all rock and roll music “jagged music.” I had to go slowly, and started with James Brown and The Carpenters, but by the time I was in high school, the cat was out of the bag and Mom threw in the towel. She couldn’t keep me from Chicago and The Beach Boys. The Monkees, CCR, The Doors, Jefferson Airplane, ELO, ELP, Steely Dan, Deep Purple, America, and all the rest.
In spite of the reputation that rock and roll had from the pulpit, it never caused me to use drugs or alcohol, and I could see that all of the entertainment was just that: entertainment. I figured out for myself that the demons wouldn’t jump out of the TV and radio and drag me to hell or the the depths of depravity like our preachers always said they would. And I’m happy to report that my sweet little Betty Baptist wife slowly followed my lead and isn’t afraid of “the world’s entertainment” anymore. She even yells “SHIT!” every now and then when she stumps her toe.
I wasn’t an Evangelical for as long as you, Bruce, were. And I wasn’t raised in that milieu. (I was brought up Roman Catholic.) I So perhaps I my ideas of “fun” didn’t change as much as I stopped feeling guilt over what I enjoyed. I was able to go on bike rides, hike, read “worldly” books and look at art without the rationale of “witnessing “ or “ministry.”