
I have been blogging since 2007. When I started, I was still a Christian — barely. A year or so later, I finally admitted I was no longer a believer. This iteration of my blog went live in December 2014, over ten years ago. Over the years, millions of people have stopped by to read one or more pages on this site. Many readers are one-and-done. They read a few posts, get what they need, and move on, never to stop by again. Others become regular readers of this site, even if they don’t comment or email me. And then some are devoted readers; people who regularly comment on posts that interest them.
Lurkers are likely the largest groups of readers. I am encouraged when lurkers comment or email me, often saying that they have been reading my writing for years. Oftentimes, when I feel like throwing in the towel, I will get an email from a lurker thanking me for something I’ve written or sharing with me how my posts helped them “see the light.”
As I rework and repost old writing, I look at the comments to see who commented on the original post. Without fail, I find commenters who, at one time, were regular participants on this site, but no longer are. I wonder, What happened? Did I piss them off? Did they die? Did they return to the faith? Did they get what they needed from my writing, and move on? Did my political writing upset them? Did my writing become boring to them, or too repetitious?
While I would like every reader to stay with me until death do us part, I know that’s not how the Internet works. The goal, then, is to retain as many readers as possible, knowing that most readers will move in, out, and through this site. I am grateful for everyone who reads my writing, even if they disagree with me, are still Evangelical Christians, or voted for Donald Trump. The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser is a safe place for discussion for everyone, Christian or not. Yes, I have a comment policy, but everyone is given at least one opportunity to say whatever it is they want to say. If a commenter shows he or she can play well with others, they will be encouraged to continue commenting. Some people will frequently comment and then suddenly stop. I always wonder why they stopped commenting. Did I upset them? Did another commenter upset them? Did they say all they intended to say?
None of this troubles me much except for those who stopped reading because I upset them for some reason. I always want to know if something I’ve written upsets someone. Why? Sometimes, people get upset because I was not precise and they misunderstood me. I ALWAYS want to be understood. That’s why I hope people who are upset by something I wrote will contact me so I can clarify what I said — if possible. Sometimes, there’s no imprecision on my part. I do my best to say what I mean to say, so I don’t have to explain or apologize later. I am a plain-spoken writer, and I try to write in a way that everyone understands. Disagreements happen. When they do happen, I appreciate the opportunity, if possible, to clear the disagreement up. There will, of course, always be times when no amount of explanation and dialog will fix a disagreement. Sometimes, disagreements become so sharp that people (usually atheists) feel the need to “break fellowship” with me. Much like getting a divorce, this is their way of showing their disapproval of something I have written or said. These folks rarely return, though sometimes they lurk in the shadows, reading but not commenting. Such disagreements are rare, but they happen.
I know I am a niche blogger, a writer who focuses on Evangelicalism — particularly the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) church movement. Sure, I write on other topics, but I make sure I stay true to my calling. 🙂 I often wonder if I’ll reach a point in my writing where there’s nothing new or meaningful to say or if my words no longer are helpful, and it is time to hang up my spurs. With 1, 600 posts in my draft file, I’m certain I have enough fodder to last a long while.
Are there things you think I can do to improve reader engagement and encourage commenting? Please share your erudite thoughts in the comment section.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
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Hi Bruce. I still read all your posts although, I admit I don’t read thru every post if it doesn’t interest me. That has nothing to do with you. I have commented on some. Sometimes, I write a long comment and it never shows up and then I don’t make a comment for awhile. Hopefully, this shows up. As I have said before, I am not an “Atheist” like you but, am a religious Christian liberal. I will always proudly say (because it aggravates IFB) I am an ordained Baptist minister and a “Recovering” Baptist because I’m still “Recovering” LOL.
(Got your Email response Bruce. Thanks for fixing it)
Glad you were able to comment. A plugin I was using seems to conflict with my blog theme. I need change to a more up-to-date theme, but there’s lots of work involved doing so. It’s on the to-do list.❤️
Readers of blogs tend to linger in internet spaces where they feel comfortable, in the same way people tend to frequent the same cafes, bars, shops, and restaurants. The most important thing is that one must share at least some values with the blogger. Most blogs get occasional visits from ‘troll’ type commenters. There have been a few here that come to mind (Silence of Mind, Jaisen(?), Revival Fires to name just a few) but they either disappear after a short while or else come back infrequently. This is because they don’t share the values of the blog and there’s only so much time you can spend in a place where you clearly aren’t welcome. I feel comfortable here in the same way I did on a small number of Patheos blogs but when the curtain was dropped on those blogs I drew away rather than find alternatives. Of the few I do regularly frequent I’m in some disagreement with the underlying values and opinions of the blogger, whilst in another case the blog has become ridiculously dominated by just one commenter.
This blog has never waivered. Of course I don’t agree with every single thing that is written, but it would be extraordinary if I did. I’m just extremely pleased that Bruce is still able to continue to write with all the challenges he faces!
You are right about shared values. In recent years, most of the readers I lost left because of my political views, my pro-COVID vaccine position, my unwillingness to be an anti-theist. There are, sad to say, a lot of conservative/libertarian/right-wing atheists; people who voted for Trump. I hear from them when I write ✍️ about politics. They want me to stick to atheism, and not politics. Sorry, but that’s just not who I am. So, some people get pissed off enough to stop reading.
Jaisen? Surprised you remember him. Boy, was he a piece of work. Same with Revival Fires, Dr. David Tee, Steve Ransom, John, Silence of Mind, and others. I see them as fodder providers, or, when I’m in a good mood, entertainment. 🤣🤣
I’d worry if we agreed on everything. What encourages me is that when we do disagree it doesn’t kill our relationship. Polly and I have had a hell of a lot of disagreements over the past 48 years of knowing one another. Yet, our marriage abides and flourishes because we have a lot in common. The disagreements happen, but they don’t dominate our relationship. We’ve learned the fine art of ignoring one another.🤣🤣
I found this blog years ago. Bruce’s story was fascinating to me and his writing was (and remains) excellent. I was enthralled – ended up getting involved in a few discussions in the comments section and began to make a small recurring financial contribution to the site. However I always felt that I wasn’t really the target audience here. I am not from the US, and religion played a negligible part in my upbringing. I just loved Bruce’s story of reason triumphing over superstition and unkindness – even when there was so much pressure to conform. So over time I checked in less, financial trouble caused me to cancel my contribution, and now I just occasionally check by when browsing the internet. Certainly my reduced engagement is nothing to do with anything that Bruce did or didn’t write.
I used to comment more, not much, and now I don’t. Why? Maybe I’m more cynical and feel I have nothing to contribute. I moved out of Defiance deep into Jim Jordon country. The trump signs were overwhelming. You were a beacon of light in Defiance that doesn’t seem to reach here. Also we didn’t have internet here and I hate typing on my phone.
Thanks for the update. I didn’t know you had moved out of Defiance. I found it encouraging that I had a few locals who appreciated my work. ❤️ Most of my blog readers come from outside northwest Ohio.
I’m with you on typing on a phone. I hate doing so. Fat fingers, small keys, 🎹 lots of cussing 🤬🤣🤣.
I’m still a daily reader. I’ve just never been a big commenter. Like Bruce I read a broad spectrum from a completely loony site whose political point of view I’m having trouble grasping to ones I share the perspective of. I even listen to “Christian radio”. Mostly I’m busy reading lots to comment. You guys keep up the good work on that.
Bruce I read your posts and comment from time to time- depends on the topic. I speculate that most of your readers are on a personal life inventory-type journey, in which they are working through the discovery of their authentic selves. I went through this myself for many years before discovering your page, and am still journeying “around the town” after reaching my destination.
I think when the zen-new age folks remark that “the journey is the destination”, it is just a recognition that as human beings we are constantly changing, like the proverb that states “no person stands twice in the same river”. Both religious and non-religious folks change within their various communities, as you observed that some atheists can become anti-theists, and/or politically conservative as well. My late father, who was raised in Pentecostal Appalachian religion, became this way, although he was more Deist than atheist agnostic, and today would be considers more of a “RINO” by the maga types become he was pro-choice and pro gun control. I honestly dont know whether he would have supported Trump, because he also didn’t care for assholes, either.
Sometimes I see a topic I feel like commenting on, usually more around history and geopolitics. In the past I’ve also taken it upon myself as a Catholic to respond to folks like Revival Fires/Liars and so-called Dr. Tee. I realize now that my posts were sometimes a little over the top, so hopefully I didn’t cause you too much heartburn 😀. Their judgmental, ignorant and in RF’s case just plain disgusting content (while identifying themselves as “Christian”) caused me to lose the ability to maintain my silence.
The topics you discuss on your page are the same that my wife and I talk about a lot. She was raised in rural western Ohio (Preble Co) and went to church as child. She is now an atheist-agnostic, and is politically more left leaning than myself, although we both abhor Donald Trump and the extreme right. That’s a big reason why I read your page, and comment from time to time.
I think we are at a very precarious time in our country. It seems anymore there are fewer and fewer folks like us, who are comfortable with our identities, willing to put our personal thoughts out there, but also try to do so in a decent manner so we keep friendly dialogue going. I have learned a great deal from you and everyone on this page, Bruce. I hope you are able to keep it going for many years.
For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t change a thing.
I currently only follow 3 blogs and one is yours. As you know, I was two years down the slide ahead of you when you showed up somewhere along my journey. At one time I was getting readers from all over the world (especially in my Blogspot and original WordPress days), first as a Christian, second as a heretic, thirdly as a “hanging on by my fingernails” and finally, as I was looking in the mirror . . . I don’t believe in God.
All I wanted really was to write my own story. It was my own personal therapy. As people found me and were in similar situations of doubt and wonder I found what I think was my niche. Coming alongside those who are depressed and worn out from legalism, spiritual abuse and generally feeling like it’s all their fault because that’s all they’ve ever been told. A safe place to realize one isn’t alone.
A few years ago, a friend of the blog had issues with me. I had wandered off into a zone that made them uncomfortable. There was no warning and it hit me hard. The empathetic part of me thought, oh they are having a rough go. The healing part of me that was learning to have boundaries decided to respond because most of my life people around me expected me to meet their needs and bury my own. A former Christian friend of mine got upset with me one day and said: “I called you to help me feel better and I get this?” Most of my life was about making everyone else feel better as I stood there letting them stomp all over me.
Writing/blogging isn’t easy. I no longer open my blog to Search Engines and in the last years I exhausted myself with the Covid, conspiracy stuff related to my Canadian mother (full on MAGA cheerleader). What no one really knows about me is I am very politically minded but now at my age (68) I understand why the elderly stop voting. It’s crazy out there. That and I have very little energy to think. Cognition isn’t the sharpest anymore. I have vision problems. Chronic pain. I spare my energy for what is necessary in my own life which is joyful and peaceful, apart from the health issues.
I too wonder how my “then” regulars are but I also realize they like me have aged and some are probably resting in peace now. More than anything, though I may not always comment, I enjoy the community. That’s why I continue to pop in Bruce. Many of the posts about criminal pastor’s etc. are triggering for me for good reason, so I do avoid those. I marvel at your capacity to continue writing no matter the content. You have a gift.
I appreciate your perspective and clear writing. I have no idea how people divorce politics from the “gospel” Jesus taught as written in the four gospels, of the kingdom of God. Anyone who is about love of neighbor and justice I consider an ally. I remain in a “liberal,” “progressive” pocket of the Anabaptist Mennonite tradition. I do miss your offerings on Facebook since when I’m online, I’m there a significant amount of the time. Yes, I’ve blogged since around 2006 and have seen the same thing. I remember one “liked” my posts, but as soon as they saw I was for full LGBTQ+ inclusion in the church, that was the end, or so I presume. I’m sure my blog gets only a drop of traffic compared to yours. I appreciate your tone which comes across to me as mostly gracious and merciful, yet necessarily at times not mincing words, speaking truth to power. And I am with Bishop Budde. In the name of Christ and all that is good I plead for mercy for the downtrodden and outcasts, the poor, those in danger. I am realizing just this morning that I need to try to quit convincing Christians, specifically Evangelical Christians, which I was both happily and uneasily a part of at one time. I need to let that go and move on, but since I’ve done it so long that will likely involve a process as well as the conscious refusal to go there. Thanks, Bruce for your posts.
I found your blog several years ago thru the Clergy Project. It was probably 2016-18, I don’t remember which year. I was fully in my active deconversion, seeking sources that resonated as I deconstructed religion and then politics. I had many sources – books by scholars, books by deconverts, and blogs fit in with regard to people’s personal stories. When I found this blog, I had spent 8 years “taking a break from religion”, then in 2015 I started actively reading and thinking. I read how scholars thought the booksof the Bible were written, archaeology of the Middle East, works by psychologists (getting up to date – I had studied psychology in college and grad school), learning about evolution as I wasn’t allowed to learn it as an evangelical in Christian school, and reading books by Dawkins, Hitchens,etc. The Clergy Project caught my attention because I was stunned that religious professionals were leaving their religions. Bruce’s blog caught my attention for the style and the focus on IFB. I didn’t attend an IFB church, but my school was tremendously (exclusively?) Influenced by IFB. Now I stay because I like the topics and comments as well as Bruce’s commitment to keeping it real.
Bruce, I read your writing almost every day. I get notifications of new posts in my email at work. Even though my husband and I own our own business, we are very busy. I would like to comment on many posts, but simply don’t have the time because I’m at work. I have commented a few times. For the record, I love your blog, your writing style, and your political leanings. I started reading your blog in February 2015, when we were kicked out of our southern baptist church because of our beliefs about homosexuality. I have finally gotten to a good place over the whole ordeal and reading this blog helped me get there. I have no intention of leaving any time soon.
I keep your blog linked in my feed, but I don’t comment much any more for the same reason that I haven’t posted anything atheism-related on the Blog o’ Doom in a while: I kind of feel like I’ve said all I had to say about the topic, at least for now. And, I mean, it’s been ages since a fundagelical has dropped by with anything new to contribute, so there’s not much to engage with on that level, either. (I think the last one who didn’t inspire a sort of tired reaction like, “Ah, another rendition of Apologetic #14b,” or “Oh, Accusation 32, we covered that one back in 2017,” was the guy who was actually making the case that implanted microchips couldn’t possibly be anything except the Mark of the Beast and thus their existence proved the totality of Scripture. That one was kind of fun.)
So yeah, for me it’s more that my interests have wandered to other topics. But it’s good to see you in my feed and know that you’re still going.
I’ve been reading your blog for years. It started when I was struggling in my faith (still am to a degree) and searched for a perspective different from my own. What I appreciate about you is your open and honest sharing about your life and your deconversion. You are not a “believe my way or go away” blogger and I appreciate that. I am still a Believer and I voted for Trump. At times, your blog is the highlight of my day. You encourage me to think about my own faith and world view. I’m grateful for that and for you.
Hello Bruce,
I am one of those who went from lurker, to commenter, back to lurker. This is my first new comment in about a year and a half, but I still read your blog regularly.
I found your blog in 2021 when I was trying to figure out how to deal with my loss of faith and active, but unwanted, deconstruction. That process was long, very stressful, emotionally draining and painful. As a middle-aged baptist (not IFB, but close enough) who had been in the evangelical tradition all my life, I had a hard time finding where to turn for help dealing with what was happening to me. Pastors and church friends were not safe to talk to. Many of the online sites I found were not helpful, being primarily angry ranting atheists or very young people who equated common youthful rebellion with deconstruction; I had nothing in common with these people. Your story, and those of some of your readers, showed me that I was not alone in my experience and there were some people who understood – a bit of community.
I was a pretty active commenter in 2022 and 2023. Commenting let me get what I was going through, compared to the theology I’d been fed all my life, things I thought or wanted to believe, church traditions, and ensuing cognitive dissonance out of my head and into a safe public venue where I could evaluate it all and receive feedback from others who had similar experiences. That was tremendous in helping me process what I believed, what I didn’t, and why.
I got what I needed when I needed it. I’m less interested in political discussion (though my politics have changed considerably as my faith dissolved) so I found less reason to comment as time went on. I’ve mostly withdrawn from active participation in all the forums I used to participate in. Some small misunderstandings with a couple commenters on this and other sites (including one case of being stalked on another site by someone who was offended by a political opinion I’d posted) caused me to draw back. I don’t like confrontation. For better or worse, I chose to stop engaging. That seems to be mentally healthier for me all around.
I will probably drop back to lurking again, but this article reminded me that I owe you my gratitude for help you gave me in processing one of the most distressing events in my life, the deconstruction of a lifetime of Christian, evangelical faith, whether you realized you were helping me or not. As long as you keep writing, I will probably keep reading.
What you said. This almost exactly mirrors my experience here. But I will continue to read Bruce’s blog for sure. His writings have been super helpful to me and I love his take on things. In fact, I almost never disagree with him! He has a great way of presenting the facts and then helping us think through the issues.
Still reading. Every time you’ve stopped over the years, I’ve been sad, then ecstatic when you started up once again.
Occasionally I have something to contribute.
Know what I’d like?
I’d like for Polly to write a blog. If your lives were a story (and really, all of our lives are that) she’d be one of my favorite characters.
I still enjoy what I read. It’s just that, over the last year, I have been focusing on things in life that are less serious. With my husband’s cancer, I don’t have a lot of cope left for the awful stuff going on in our country/world.
At some point, I became unable to get comments in reply. I think it’s a website or computer problem, but I don’t have the energy to fix. Anyway, Bob isn’t doing badly with his cancer so at least, there is that!
I have definitely found your blog helpful!
Hey Bruce. I am on your site quite often reading different topics and articles, and have been for a few years. I continue to hop on the site at least once a week to see what your topics have been since my last visit. I comment on some things and even sent you a private email once that I am hoping you took the time to read. I don’t comment often unless a particular article or someone else’s comment stirs up a need inside of me. As a Christian, I know that you and I don’t share the same views on a lot of things, and most of your usual commenters probably have different views than I as well. However, I come from a time where people could discuss differences, voice their opinions, then go have lunch together and forget about it.
I believe in treating others with respect and dignity, whether they return the favor or not, and that is how I approach any conversation whether it be in person, or through a blog site like this. I also enjoy thought provoking articles, and some of yours have that affect on me. I may not agree with you, and I still may not even after researching, but I usually gather some knowledge from it. For example, I did some research and reading in regards to Bart Ehrman, even to the point of purchasing a few courses from his site. Now, I will say that I think he makes a lot of assumptions that cannot be proven for sure, but that’s his job in trying to convince you of his points. I also learned a few things along the way, so worth the money.
Anyways, a long way of saying that I enjoy reading most of what you write, and will continue to comment accordingly when I feel the urge to do so or have questions regarding a topic. I think one reason I am particularly interested in your writings is, as I mentioned in the private email to you, I was not raised in an IFB church but was raised with most of the beliefs contained therein. I did attend some of those churches in my adulthood, but have since distanced myself from them due to what I have seen. I rarely have heard of a preacher coming out of that world and turning away from Christianity altogether, so your stories are of interest to me. Keep on writing as long as you can.
I’m a lurker who continues to return because I want to have a better understanding of why people choose to leave Christianity. I’m still “in” (EFCA at the moment), but my original background was IFCA (IB’s evil twin). I found the rules and pickiness on behavior exasperating, and broke with them in college. However, I am still a committed Christian. I find your observations helpful, although I may not always agree with the conclusion. I do engage with people about my faith, nd your posts have helped me evade some of the worst kinds of “reasons” for why Christians do things.
OK Bruce. What all these folks said about your blog: me too. (Well, most of it) I wrote a reply that would have impressed William Shakepeare but it vanished when I posted it.. Probably that quirky extension you tried. Or could it be … Satan invaded my computer again? I copied to the clipboard ust in case.
I started following your blog when you followed me on Twitter, way back in 2012 or 2013, I think? I had been going through some serious and stressful stuff, and was through with Christianity. Yours was the first voice I heard that wasn’t just angry rants, memes, or jokes from anti-theists. I learn a lot here. Usually when I don’t comment it’s because the subject matter is over my head, or I can’t think of anything to add. I’m glad you keep writing, Bruce, and will be sad when the time comes you cannot do it anymore.
Hi Bruce. I’ve read all the iterations of your blog and still drop by on a daily basis. Other blogs I’ve dropped, most often because, as someone remarks above, their comments become dominated by rude and aggressive Christian fanatics. This leads me to first avoid their comments section and then in time, the blog itself. (Coincidentally, I’ve just written a post for my own blog that touches on this; hope it’s okay if I link back here.)
You have a great way of dealing with your Evangelical trolls, however – I love the snarky responses – which keeps me coming back. I should comment more, I know, but when it takes me so long to write my own posts, I need to catch up on the rest of my ridiculously busy retirement life afterwards. I’ll try to do better!
After zipping on over to Neil’s blog today, I am officially following 4 blogs instead of the earlier stated 3 blogs. 🙂 Left a couple of comments.
I think your blog is fine as is. People come and go for their own reasons. I myself have been dealing with a family crisis for a couple of years that has totally drained me. And just when that crisis started to look more manageable, here comes this genocide to which my government and the so-called “fourth estate” is wholeheartedly devoted, which bewildered and exhausted me even more.
Bruce, your post prompted my very first comment, although I’ve been a regular reader for years. This blog and its community was and is a great source of support and even comfort as I learned that I wasn’t alone.
I really do enjoy your blog, Bruce. There’s always something interesting, and often funny as well. Never a dull moment, plus it’s a safe place for people who suffered spiritual abuse, which is obviously rampant. In my case, the abuse be also included terrible advice that nearly got me killed. I know that if a reader is a Christian, it won’t harm them to scroll through, because it’s educational regarding how Christians really ought to know better than to behave like so many of these idiots in the public square do. As I’ve stated often,to RF, Tee Hee,etc. As long as you keep posting, I’ll keep reading!
Forgive my ignorance, but how do you know who reads your blog? I know you can see the who visits the site, but I get your posts emailed to me so how do you know if I read my emails? lol I typically don’t click and go to your blogsite unless I feel need to comment and I have been working on myself to not be so mouthy so have been trying to avoid commenting on a variety of sites. I get busy with life and get overwhelmed with emails sometimes and other times certain topics don’t resonate with me. I’ve been staying with a hospitalized family member who was just released today, so am really way behind on emails.
Wonderful Bruce,
I don’t comment as much as I used to because of time; I still read your blog several times a week, but when the alternatives are actually getting to bed only an hour late and commenting, I’m learning to shut the monitor off and hit the sack.
Of course I don’t agree with everything you write. I’d be scared if I did. We humans need to have different ideas in order to learn from each other. I’d be really uncomfortable knowing there was someone that much like me out there. But I do agree with most of what you write, and I am encouraged by someone who has a great deal of understanding and compassion for fellow humans, but doesn’t suffer utter jerks gladly. You set a terrific example.
I was supposed to comment earlier but I forgot. Better late than never.
I visit your blog everyday, or almost everyday, but I never commented. I don’t really have anything to say. I’m not the best person to make suggestions on how to encourage commenting since I’m mostly a lurker in the online communities I joined.
I can’t remember how I discovered your blog. I think I might have read some of your writing years ago, but I think it was last year when I rediscovered your blog and started regularly visiting it. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I enjoy your writing.