Regular readers know that my writing production has dropped off over the past year. If you see that I haven’t posted lately, it is because I can’t. My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak. Outside of attending concerts, school events, and occasionally eating out, I am pretty much homebound. I have noticed of late that my recovery after an outing is taking a lot longer — often days longer.
For new readers, I have a lot of serious health problems: gastroparesis (uncurable), exocrine pancreatic insufficiency (uncurable), osteoarthritis, peripheral neuropathy in my legs and feet, fibromyalgia, and degenerative spine disease. An MRI in 2021 revealed widespread damage to my spine and neck:
- Disc herniation (T7,T8)
- Disc herniation (T6,T7)
- Central spinal canal stenosis (T9/T10, T10/T11)
- Foraminal stenosis (T5,T6)
- Disc degeneration/spondylosis (T1/T2 through T10/T11)
- Facet Arthropathy throughout the spine, particularly at T2/T3, T3/T4, T5/T6, and T7/T8 through the T12/L1 levels.
- Hypertrophic arthropathy at T9/T10
I had surgery on my spine a year ago, and now it looks like I will have to have surgery again. I have an MRI scheduled for Friday. This should reveal what is causing insufferable pain in my lower back and whehter it can be surgically fixed. Regardless, chronic, unrelenting pain is ever with me, and, thanks to the government’s incessant war on narcotic pain medications, my pain is no longer well-managed. I need twice the medication I currently take, but no doctor (including local pain management doctors) is willing to prescribe it. I am using an increasing amoung of cannabis that helps, but the only thing that reduces my pain to a whisper is sufficient narcotic pain medications (I am taking half the amount I took ten years ago). And please, if you want to keep your head on your shoulders, no unsolicted medical advice. I know my body quite well — what works and doesn’t work. I know many of you care, but all I ask from you is your kindness and support. I have come to terms with the fact that this is my new lot in life, and unless Jesus shows up and divinely heals me, one or more of the diseases that afflict me will eventually kill me; that is if I don’t die from falling (an increasing problem, for me).
Every day of my life is dominated by unrelenting pain, along with stomach and bowel problems. Life is a challenge, to say the least. Nights are the worst, often taking hours, upon hours for me to finally fall asleep, only to wake up again two or three hours later. I sleep when and how I can, but I am NEVER rested. When you see me publish an article, leave a comment, or respond to an email at 5:00 am, you will know I am unable to sleep.
I appreciate your love, care, and understanding. I will continue to write until I can no longer do so. So far, I have been able to keep writing, but there will be days when I cannot sit up let alone type a new post.
Saved by Reason,
Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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For what it’s worth Bruce, I just discovered that certain pain is relieved by certain remedies and not others and vice versa. I recently broke all 5 bones across my foot arch. Oxycodone in the hospital made the horrible foot pain disappear. But surprise! My pre-existing groin pain was NOT relieved by the oxy. The only relief I found for the excruciating groin pain has been a simple remedy: caffeine and aspirin. A LOT of both. Why this is so, I don’t know, but it is a fact. The takeaway is that if one remedy fails you, try another. One remedy may not address all or any type of pain you may have. Relief may require multiple remedies at once. Yes, if only we could get what we know we need, huh?
Hi, Dutch Guy. Yeah, genes are crazy things aren’t they? It only takes one parent to inherit certain conditions,like fibromyalgia. My mother had it first,but she was diagnosed with arthritis instead. I learned something that relates to this disease,and that is, fibromyalgia is connected to trauma. We certainly had a truckload of that over the years. I’m experimenting on myself at the moment. I’ve heard DMSO helps with joint and bone pain, especially if it’s combined with things like the cannabis oil that people use, to put on the joints and pressure points. But I can’t find it at the corporate version I’m stuck with. Many good,yet small health food stores went under during COVID, so you may not have the choices and prices you relied on before – as I’m finding out,lol. C- PTSD can affect one’s health later in life, and I just heard that recently. Genes+ abuse can do a number on people.
Yulya, I’ve had good results with DMSO on my painful feet. My feet kept me awake with nagging aches obviously from shoes I must wear. I massaged it in at bed time and instead of waking up with the pain, it was gone in the morning. No reasonable doubt that it relieves my foot pain. Whether it has the broad therapeutic qualities claimed for it, I can’t say but I’d advise anyone to go ahead and try it topically for achy feet and muscles. I got mine from Amazon.com and other online retailers have it also. I advise getting it in glass and study what Dr. Mercola says about using it.
Thank you Bruce for what you do. And, keep on doing the best you are able when you are able as you are able within your power.
Hi Bruce,
Of course it “SUCKS” for you to not get proper pain relief for the afflictions that torment your body.
You and many persons afflicted by devastating aliments are now caught in the perfect societal storm:
1) An American Society that is so difficult to negotiate that (Drug Addiction / including alcohol) is what Americans turn toward to “cope”. (And alcohol is VERY MUCH a drug, just like meth or cocaine).
2) The Bullshit Christian ethos of what is “right and proper” for disease sufferer’s and end of life choices.
3) The Bullshit politicians that support this ethos and, of course whom are in the “pocket” of the pharmaceutical lobby.
4) Ass-holes like the “Sackler” family that make the Mexican Cartels look like “amateurs”.
5) The litigious nature of Americans that put making a dollar a priority with no consideration regarding this selfishness and the carnage inflicted upon disease sufferer’s like yourself whom need proper pain treatment.
6) The pathetic “lawyer sharks” that are the front men for these same litigious Americans, that are more than willing to create a legal environment that penalizes proper pain management for the ill.
7) And of course the medical community, everything from heartless doctors to “pill mill” pharmacies.
It is a damn sorry state of affairs. What the dumb sons of bitches that have created this inferno don’t realize, is the time will come for them to face the shitty music eventually too.
It god damn sucks to get old, in this place. Thank you America, actually FU
My daily pain isn’t half as bad as yours, Bruce, but I get it. Sometimes it’s just impossible to do anything. Hang in there.
Glad to see that you’ve got your new provider for the blog, and you’re writing again,Bruce.
I’m sorry you’re suffering so. And even more sorry about America’s war with common sense and empathy. 🤗