The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser

I’m Not Your Hon, Honey, Dear, or Sweetie

Written by

Bruce Gerencser

in

server at restaurant

Want to annoy the hell out of me? Assume familiarity with me that you do not have. I am acutely aware of this during the Christmas season when complete strangers think they have a right to touch me because I look like Santa. And when I say touch I mean stroking my beard, giving me a hug, or as one drunken 40 year old woman did at a local basketball game in front of my neighbors, sitting on my lap so they can tell me what they want for Christmas. (And let me be clear, if someone politely asks me if they can touch me or take my photo, I always say yes. Yesterday, we ate at Panera Bread in Toledo. A woman, as excited to see me as if she had just won the lottery, asked if she could take a photo with me. I said sure. I did make a snarky comment about the photo ending up on OnlyFans. I have embraced my inner Krampus, uh I mean Santa Claus.)

I enjoy going out to eat with Polly. We are at a place in life where we enjoy fine dining when money allows. Imagine going to an upscale restaurant, only to have a server with a truck stop voice say, “What can I get for you tonight, hon, honey, dear, or sweetie?” Argh, not a good start — at least for me.

Sadly, some servers likely picked up bad habits working at a truck stop, diner, or strip club. Missed was the lesson about not being overtly familiar with your customers, especially when you are meeting them for the first time. Well, at a strip club, overt familiarity is good for business — or so I have been told anyway. 🙂

I know, I know, with Trump trying to destroy our country, it’s silly to talk about how servers address me. However, this is a pet peeve of mine, so this is my blog and I am going to bitch. 🙂

Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Comments

14 responses to “I’m Not Your Hon, Honey, Dear, or Sweetie”

  1. Avatar
    Evan O

    I have a slightly different opinion on that. Since the context of your post takes place in a restaurant, I personally don’t mind it when people use those remarks with me if they are being genuine. In other words, if it’s their way of expressing kindness and friendliness to give honest to good customer service, I have no issue with it. That is, as long as people are being real with me and not phony.

    Reply
  2. Avatar
    Karen the Rock Whisperer

    Bruce, darling! 🙂

    Being addressed as Honey, Sweetie, etc. by waitstaff who don’t know me doesn’t bother me. Being addressed as Miss annoys the heck out of me. This is the 21st century; you don’t know my marriage status, the fact that I don’t wear my wedding ring is an artefact of arthritis expanding my knuckles, and I am obviously old enough to have that arthritis. Be polite, don’t make assumptions, and use Ms.

    And while I’m ranting, I curse with the fleas of a thousand turkey vultures people who address me as variants of Young Lady, or acknowledge my age in a way that assumes being old is bad and must be euphemized away. The subtext, that I’m losing intrinsic value as I get older, is [MANY EXPLETIVES] rude.

    Reply
    1. Avatar
      Bruce Gerencser

      😜😜

      I briefly addressed three teen/college female workers at a Steakhouse as “ladies.” “Have a nice night, ladies.” I asked them if it was okay to address them that way. They all laughed, and assured me it was okay. Kids talk in foreign languages these days — at least my older grandchildren do. 😜😜 Every week, or so it seems, they have another new slang word they are using that I don’t know the meaning of. Not like in our days, right? 😜😜

      Reply
  3. Avatar
    matilddaa

    I used to agree with you, Bruce, I didn’t like it. Then my daughter married a scouser, a Liverpudlian and they are raising their family in that warmest, friendliest of northen cities. At first, I didn’t like scousers calling me ‘Doll’ but realised they were actually saying ‘Darl,’ and it’s a friendly common form of address.
    Anecdote from this week. My daughter’s a doctor there and called in at a Care Home that she’s responsible for as 2 new residents needed a consultation. This couple were newly-arrived Londoners. Asked how they were settling in, the wife replied that her hubby had pushed her wheelchair to the local park to explore a bit, needed the toilet and went into the public ones there. She said in the time it took him to have a pee and she was alone, three different strangers asked, ‘Are you OK, darl, do you need any help?’ And pushing her along the seafront, more than one stranger has asked if he needs help pushing her along……she said that had never happened in 35yrs of wheelchair use in London. So I accept ‘Darl’ now with a warm fuzzy feeling, when I’m called it myself!

    Reply
  4. Avatar
    … Zoe ~

    Suger Plum? Is that okay? Maybe we should ask Polly? You didn’t list “sugar” and in the spirit of Xmas, “plum” seemed appropriate. Zoe ducks and runs. ——->>>>

    I was standing in line at a Florida craft show when the gentleman behind the table addressed the woman in front of of me as “Ma’am.” She did not take kindly to it and complained. Instead of waiting for my turn, I simply said, “you can call me ma’am . . . I’ve earned it.” He was relieved, she was annoyed. Perhaps there are a million reasons for our reactions. If you tell me to be “Quiet Piggy”, I’ll probably be triggered and attempt to strike your shins. 😀

    Reply
    1. Avatar
      Bruce Gerencser

      It’s hard to know what to call people these days. Ma’am and sir seems respectful to me, but I know some people think I am saying they are “old” when I address them this way.

      Reply
      1. Avatar
        … Zoe ~

        Biker Dude often referred to me as Bunny. :). A term of endearment. This morning he got up and said, Hello Butter Nut. Since my ears are plugged with a cold, I asked him if he said nut or cup? Nut. I said, oh dear, I’m going down in terms of endearment. ;). But, I have been making a lot of butternut squash soup of late, so maybe it is still a term of endearment. 😀

        Reply
  5. Avatar
    GeoffT

    I’m used to blokes addressing each other as ‘mate’, which I know is also an Australian habit, though not sure about the US. Women will frequently address men as ‘luv’ or ‘pet’, and vice versa for men. Older people still locally use the term ‘hinny’, though it is becoming much less frequent. Anybody who took exception to any of these terms of endearment would appear petty, but these are very particular terms that are distinguished from overly, bordering on cheeky, greetings such as darling, and sweetie would probably get a slap in the face.

    Reply
    1. Avatar
      Bruce Gerencser

      I know Polly hates it when a man calls her “darling.” Way too familiar, in my opinion.

      Reply
  6. Avatar
    JT

    Hey Bruce. Maybe it’s a bit of a culture thing. Being from Ohio myself (actually used to live not far from where you live now), it used to stand out much more when I would hear it down in the south. Now that I’ve been in North Carolina for 10 years, it’s more rare not to hear it. 90% of the time, you will be called sugar, honey, hun, dear, sweetie, etc… when ordering food, sit down or drive thru. If it bugs you a lot, may want to skip eating in the Carolinas if you ever travel down this way… Key thing though, it’s definitely not personal, just how they talk and operate.

    Reply
    1. Avatar
      Bruce Gerencser

      I rarely, if ever, say anything. I’m too polite. 😜😜 Writing allows me a forum to bitch. 😜😜

      Reply
  7. Ben Berwick

    ‘Alright mate’ is a typical British greeting among strangers and friends alike. It’s not necessarily imaginative, but it seems to be what we do. It doesn’t tend to happen at places like restaurants, we don’t tend to assume familiarity here. We’re far too reserved to show emotion!

    Reply
    1. Avatar
      Bruce Gerencser

      This is mostly on me, but it dies irritate me. I typically ignore it unless it is so bad I feel like I’m in a whore house. 😜❤️

      Polly just rolls her eyes at me — an art she has perfected over the years. 😜😜 I’ve never been a big fan of cute nicknames. The only ones I use with Polly are: honey, Pooh Bear, #1. The latter two hail back to our college days. I would leave letters for her addressed to #1. ❤️😜❤️ Ah, sweet innocent love.

      Reply
      1. Ben Berwick

        I can relate to the nickname thing, I don’t tend to do it, even as a term of endearment, mostly because I lack imagination!

        Reply

Want to Respond to Bruce? Fire Away! If You Are a First Time Commenter, Please Read the Comment Policy Located at the Top of the Page.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

More posts

Discover more from The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading