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Bruce, Were You Happy in the Ministry? — Part Two

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bruce and polly gerencser 1978
Bruce and Polly Gerencser, in front of our first apartment in Pontiac, Michigan, Fall 1978, with Polly’s Grandfather and Parents

If you have not done so, please read Bruce, Were You Happy in the Ministry? — Part One.

When I write posts like Leaving the Ministry: Dealing with Guilt and Regret, I am always concerned that someone might conclude that I was unhappy while I was in the ministry or that I felt I was trapped in a job I didn’t want to be in. Neither of these conclusions would be an accurate assessment of the twenty-five years I spent in the ministry.

In October 1979, Polly and I, along with our newborn son Jason, packed up our meager belongings and moved from Montpelier, Ohio to Newark, Ohio. Polly’s parents lived in Newark. Her father was the assistant pastor at the Newark Baptist Temple, an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) church pastored by her uncle James Dennis. (Please see The Family Patriarch is Dead: My Life With James Dennis.) For a few months, until we could find a place to live, Polly and I lived with her parents. Our first home in Newark was a duplex several blocks from Polly’s parents’ home. Living in the other half of the duplex was an older couple who attended the Baptist Temple. Later, we would move to a two-story home across the street from Polly’s parents. We lived there until we moved to Buckeye Lake, Ohio in 1982.

Both Polly and I agree that our time spent living in Newark was one of the most difficult and challenging times we have ever faced in our forty-seven years of marriage. Polly started working at Temple Tots — the unlicensed daycare “ministry” of the Baptist Temple. In the fall of 1980, Polly found out she pregnant with our second son, Nathaniel. By then, she had started teaching first grade at Licking County Christian Academy (LCCA) — an unlicensed, unaccredited school operated by the Baptist Temple. (Polly was paid less money than male employees because she wasn’t her family’s breadwinner.)

I busied myself working in the church’s bus ministry, hoping that Pastor Dennis would make me the director of the bus ministry. He did not, telling me that it wouldn’t be right for him to give a family member the job. (Numerous family members would later work for the Baptist Temple.) James Dennis and I spent the intervening years in a love-hate relationship, with major conflicts seemingly bubbling to the surface every few years. While Polly’s family puts the blame for this squarely on my shoulders, a fair accounting of our conflicts shows that both of us bore responsibility for our inability to see eye-to-eye. Our history is long, complex, and littered with buried secrets that, even at this late date, could prove to be embarrassing. (Please see The Family Patriarch is Dead: My Life With James Dennis.)

After working for the local cable company repairing push-button cable boxes and working at several factories, in early 1980, I accepted a managerial position with Arthur Treacher’s — a large fast-food seafood restaurant chain located in Columbus, Ohio. My starting pay was $144 a week, or about $423 a week in today’s dollars. After my training and a few months as the assistant manager of the Heath, Ohio store, I was promoted to the general manager position of the Brice Road store in Reynoldsburg, Ohio. I would spend the next eighteen months daily driving back and forth from Newark to Reynoldsburg — about 27 miles one way. I worked long hours, six, sometimes seven, days a week.

bruce and polly gerencser 1985
Bruce and Polly Gerencser, Sweetheart Banquet, 1985

With Polly busy raising young children and teaching at LCCA, and me working long hours at the restaurant, we found ourselves estranged from one another. For a time, Polly and I were like two ships passing in the night. Polly, ever the awesome mother, focused her attention on our two boys, figuring that our marriage would be just fine. In her mind, the kids came first. I, on the other hand, ever the workaholic, poured myself into my job, often leaving for work early in the morning and returning late in the evening. Conflict with Polly’s parents and Pastor Dennis increased during this time, so I used my long work hours as a way to avoid interaction with her family. I was able to avoid family gatherings by saying, I have to work, sorry. Polly’s family didn’t seem to mind that I was absent, believing then, as they do today, that I was “different.”

While Polly and I never talked about the dreaded D word — divorce — both of us recognized that our marriage was in trouble. We were deeply committed followers of Jesus and active in the machinations of the Baptist Temple. Despite my long work hours, I still worked in the bus ministry, went on visitation, and attended church services on Sunday. Polly helped with the nursery and sang in the choir. While we were busy, our lives were not what we expected they would be when we left Midwestern Baptist College in 1978. Both of us believed God had called us to the ministry, so as long as we weren’t in full-time service for the Lord, our lives were not in line with the will of God. Polly and I saw this as one of the reasons we were having marital troubles. Decades later, now an old married couple with grandchildren, we now know that our root problems were immaturity, fanciful expectations, and religious demands. Our focus should have been on family and building financial security. Instead, we yearned to be a Pastor and a Pastor’s wife. In our minds, Jesus and the ministry came first. Wholeheartedly believing this would plague us for much of our married life.

Late in 1981, Mrs. Paul’s bought out Arthur Treacher’s. Mrs. Paul’s made all sorts of stupid changes, and after several months of working for them, I decided I had had enough and turned in my resignation. Several weeks later, I started working for Long John Silver’s as an assistant manager. Long John’s was rapidly expanding in the Central Ohio area, and I was part of a team of managers that helped open new stores. Polly had, by then, stopped teaching and returned to working at Temple Tots. Towards the end of the year, Polly’s Dad decided to leave the Baptist Temple — a long story in and of itself — and start an IFB church in nearby Buckeye Lake. He asked if Polly and I wanted to come along and help him with the new church. We quickly agreed, and I became the assistant pastor of Emmanuel Baptist Church in Buckeye Lake, Ohio. Finally, Polly and I thought, we are back on track, doing that which God had called us to do. Unfortunately, she was fired from her job because she was no longer a member of the Baptist Temple

Though much turmoil and heartache would await us in the years to come, we were happy to be in the ministry once again. Outside of a few months here and there when I was between churches, we would spend the next twenty or so years pastoring churches in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. No matter what trials and adversities came our way, we were happy to be serving the Lord. The Apostle Paul wrote that he had learned, regardless of the state of his life, to be content (Philippians 4:11). Over time, Polly and I became quite stoic about life. No matter what came our way, we smiled, put our trust in the Lord, and practiced the contentment Paul spoke of. Our commitment to Jesus gave us what the Bible calls, a “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7). Life wasn’t easy for us, but it was satisfying. Difficult times were seen as tests from God (James 1:2-4) or loving correction (Hebrews 12:5-8) from our Heavenly Father. All that mattered was that we were in center of the perfect will of God for our lives (Romans 12:1,2). Believing that the calling of God was irrevocable (Romans 11:29), being in the ministry was what mattered most to us. Over time, the “ministry” swallowed up Bruce and Polly Gerencser, leaving us with no self-identity. We spent much of our marriage denying self and sacrificing ourselves for the cause. After leaving the ministry, and later leaving Christianity, Polly and I had no idea who we were. Our post-Jesus years have been spent reacquainting ourselves with who we really are. This process has been painful, yet satisfying. While we were happy in the ministry, our happiness was derived from “doing.” These days, we continue to learn that happiness most often comes from being, not doing.

Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Bruce, Were You Happy in the Ministry? — Part One

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bruce and polly gerencser 1978
Bruce and Polly Gerencser, in front of our first apartment in Pontiac, Michigan, Fall 1978, with Polly’s grandfather and parents.

When I write posts like Leaving the Ministry: Dealing with Guilt and Regret, I am always concerned that someone might conclude that I was unhappy while I was in the ministry or that I felt I was trapped in a job I didn’t want to be in. Neither of these conclusions would be an accurate assessment of the twenty-five years I spent in the ministry.

I was fifteen years old when I went forward at Trinity Baptist Church, Findlay, Ohio, and informed the church that I thought God was calling me to the ministry. A few weeks before, I had made a public profession of faith and was baptized. I had no doubts about God’s call on my life. In fact, my desire to be a preacher went all the way back to when I was a five-year-old boy in San Diego, California. My mother asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told her I wanted to be a preacher. Not a baseball player, not a trash truck driver, or a fireman. I wanted to be a preacher. Unlike many people, I never wondered about what I wanted to do with my life. God called-preacher, end of story.

In the fall of 1976, I enrolled at Midwestern Baptist College, a small Fundamentalist college in Pontiac, Michigan. Polly Shope, my wife to be, started taking classes at Midwestern in the spring of 1976 while she was finishing her senior year at Oakland Christian School. At the age of fourteen, Polly went forward at the Kawkawlin River Baptist Church, Bay City, Michigan, and let the church know that she believed God was calling her to be a preacher’s wife. When Polly enrolled at Midwestern, she had one goal in mind: to marry a preacher.

polly gerencser, pontiac, michigan 1978
Polly in front of our apartment, Fall 1978

Polly and I were immediately drawn to one another. She was quiet, reserved, and very beautiful. I was outspoken, brash, with a rebellious spirit. According to Polly, I was her bad boy. We started dating in September of 1976, and by Christmas, we were certain that we were a match made in Heaven. Unfortunately, Polly’s parents thought we were a match made in Hell. My parents were divorced, and Polly’s mom thought that divorce was hereditary. Though she did her best to quash our love, in the spring of 1978, we issued an ultimatum: give us your blessing or we will get married without it (a few weeks earlier, we had seriously considered eloping). On a hot July day in 1978, Polly and I exchanged vows at the Newark Baptist Temple, Heath, Ohio. As Mark Bullock, the soloist for our wedding, sang the Carpenter’s hit, We’ve Only Just Begun, Polly and I had thoughts of the wonderful life that awaited us in the ministry. Little did we know how naïve we were about what being in the ministry really entailed.

Polly’s idea of the ministry was quite idealistic. In her mind, we would have two children, a boy named Jason and a girl named Bethany, and live in a beautiful two-story house with a white picket fence. She saw herself as the quiet helpmeet of her preacher husband.  My idea of the ministry was a bit more realistic. Preaching, teaching, winning souls, visiting the sick, all in a church filled with peace, joy, and harmony. No one had prepared us for what the ministry would really be like. I still remember a time when I was standing in a three-foot deep hole partly filled with sewage trying to repair a broken septic line. Polly came out to see what I was doing, and I said to her, Well, they certainly didn’t teach me this in college. No one told us that the ministry would be far different from our idealistic expectations.

Two months after we were married, Polly informed me that our use of contraceptive foam had failed and she was pregnant. Not long after her announcement, I lost my job at a Detroit-area production machine shop. Financially, things quickly fell apart for us. We went to see Levy Corey, the dean at Midwestern, and told him that we needed to drop out of college. He told us we just needed to trust God and everything would work out. While I was able to find new employment, it was not enough for us to keep our heads above water. In February of 1979, we dropped all of our classes and prepared to move to Bryan, Ohio. Several of our friends stopped by before we moved to berate us for not having faith in God. One friend told us that we would never amount to anything because God doesn’t bless quitters. Years later, at a preacher’s conference hosted by Newark Baptist Temple, Dr. Tom Malone, the president of Midwestern, mentioned that I was in the crowd. He said that I had left Midwestern before graduating, but if I had stayed, they (the college) probably would have ruined me. He meant it as a joke, but I took his comment as a vindication of our decision to leave college.

polly bruce gerencser cranbrook gardens bloomfield hills michigan 1978
Polly and Bruce Gerencser, Cranbrook Gardens, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, Spring 1978, two months before wedding.

In February of 1979, we moved to Bryan, Ohio, the place of my birth and the home of my sister Robin. After living with my sister for a short while, we found a house to rent on Hamilton Street. I began working at ARO, a large local manufacturer of pumps and air tools. ARO paid well, but I still desired to be a pastor. As with every job, I viewed secular work as just a means to an end — me pastoring a church. My sister attended the Montpelier Baptist Church in Montpelier, Ohio. When we first moved to Bryan, we thought that we would attend First Baptist Church, the church I had attended before enrolling at Midwestern. Though I knew everyone at First Baptist, we decided to go to Montpelier Baptist, a young, growing GARBC church pastored by Jay Stuckey. This decision did not sit well with the people at First Baptist. One of the matriarchs of the church told me, “Bruce, you know you belong at First Baptist!”  At the time, First Baptist was pastored by Jack Bennett. Jack was married to my uncle’s sister Creta.

I had previously preached at Montpelier Baptist, so I knew a bit about Stuckey and his ministry philosophy. Stuckey was a graduate of Toledo Bible College, which later moved to Newburgh, Indiana, and became Trinity Theological Seminary. After attending the church for a few weeks, Stuckey asked me to help him at the church by becoming the bus pastor and helping with church visitation.

The church had one bus route. It brought in a handful of children every week, and little was being done to increase ridership numbers. Enter hot-shot, get–it-done, Bruce Gerencser. In less than a month, on Easter Sunday, the bus was jammed with eighty-eight riders. I vividly remember arriving at the church with all these kids and the junior church director running out to the bus and frantically asking me what I expected him to do with all the children. I replied, That’s your problem, I just bring them in. Needless to say, this man was never very fond of me.

A short time later, the church bought a second bus. I recruited bus workers to run the new route, and before long, this bus was also filled with riders. On the first Sunday in October 1979, Montpelier Baptist held its morning service at the Williams County Fairgrounds. A quartet provided special music, and Ron English from the Sword of the Lord preached the sermon. Five hundred people attended this service, and about 150 of them had come in on the buses. Less than two weeks later, I was gone. Polly and I, along with our newborn son Jason, packed up our meager household goods and moved to Newark, Ohio.

Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Why is God Obsessed with Foreskin?

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circumcision

In Genesis 17, we find God making an everlasting covenant with Abraham and his ancestors:

When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to Abram and said to him, “I am God Almighty; walk before me, and be blameless. And I will make my covenant between me and you and will make you exceedingly numerous.

….

 This is my covenant, which you shall keep, between me and you and your offspring after you: Every male among you shall be circumcised. You shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskins, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and you. Throughout your generations every male among you shall be circumcised when he is eight days old, including the slave born in your house and the one bought with your money from any foreigner who is not of your offspring. Both the slave born in your house and the one bought with your money must be circumcised. So shall my covenant be in your flesh an everlasting covenant. Any uncircumcised male who is not circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin shall be cut off from his people; he has broken my covenant.

One sign of this covenant between God, Abraham, and future generations required all living males to have their foreskins — the retractable roll of skin covering the end of the penis — removed. Going forward, all male babies, including those of slaves, were to be circumcised on the eighth day. Anyone male not circumcised was cut off from “his people.”

cicumcision 2

I wonder if God, the Father, warned Jesus before sending him to earth to atone for human sin.

God, the Father: Jesus, after we impregnate your mom, Mary, and you are born, you will have to have your foreskin cut off, without anesthesia, with a sharp rock.

Jesus: What the fuck, Dad? Is that really necessary? That’s really going to hurt!

God: Yes, my Son, your circumcision will be a sign of the covenant between Me, Abraham, and the Jewish people.

Jesus: Dad, why can’t we just issue covenant certificates, signed by you, me, and Ghost?

God: Absolutely not! Certificates will end up lost, but cut off a man’s foreskin? He will never forget that. Every time he pees, has sex, or takes a shower, he will be reminded of the covenant. Awesome, right?

Jesus: Shakes his head, wondering if Dad has dementia.

For thousands of years, countless Jewish, Christian, and Muslim male children have had their foreskins ritually and painfully removed. Why? Because God allegedly said to do so. It is 2025. Circumcision — which is genital mutilation — has no medical purpose, yet millions of boys are circumcised anyway. According to Google, over eighty percent of American males are circumcised, whereas only ten percent of male Europeans are. Anecdotally, this suggests that the more religious a culture is, the more likely they are to practice circumcision. For example, take Africa’s devoutly religious population. Over ninety percent of males are circumcised. That said, I suspect the practice is so deeply rooted in some countries that parents have their male babies circumcised, not out of religious conviction as much as conforming to societal norms.

Let me be clear, mutilating the genitals of children is child abuse. The United States could end circumcision by banning the practice. Hospitals and doctors could stop performing unnecessary, elective surgery on male infants, and insurance companies could stop paying for the procedure. Overnight, parents would stop circumcising their boys. Bruce, but what if parents want to circumcise their son for religious reasons? Sorry, but that’s not a justification for having unnecessary elective surgery performed on your children. Female genital mutilation is often done for religious reasons, yet the practice is universally condemned. It is irrational, then, to support male genital mutilation, but condemn the same practice for females. Both practices need to come to an end immediately.

What I want to know is why God didn’t create males without foreskins to start with? If his creation is intelligently designed and finely tuned, why is it necessary for practitioners of the three Abrahamic religions to have their male babies’ foreskin removed?

Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Black Collar Crime: Catholic Priest Ross Miceli Accused of Profiting From a Rigged Corvette Raffle

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Father Ross Miceli

The Black Collar Crime Series relies on public news stories and publicly available information for its content. If any incorrect information is found, please contact Bruce Gerencser. Nothing in this post should be construed as an accusation of guilt. Those accused of crimes are innocent until proven guilty.

Ross Miceli, a priest at St. Jude the Apostle Church in Erie, Pennsylvania, stands accused of rigging a church raffle so he would win one or more of the prizes. As of this date, no charges have been filed.

Yahoo reports:

A Pennsylvania pastor is under criminal investigation after authorities say he fabricated the winner of a church raffle that promised a brand-new Chevrolet Corvette Stingray or $50,000 in cash.

According to the Erie County District Attorney’s Office, Rev. Ross R. Miceli of St. Jude the Apostle Church in Erie is accused of falsifying raffle results, inventing names for multiple prize winners, and moving the grand prize money into a separate account.

The 2024 raffle, which sold $50 tickets, was designed to raise as much as $500,000 for the parish. The grand prize was an Amplify Orange 2024 Corvette Convertible 1LT or a $50,000 payout. Smaller “12 Days of Christmas” prizes, worth $500 each, were also offered in the lead-up to the Dec. 24 drawing.

Officials say the winning four-digit ticket number was matched to a man identified by Miceli as “Martin Anderson of Detroit,” who allegedly chose the cash option. Investigators now allege that Anderson does not exist and never purchased a ticket.

Court documents further claim Miceli admitted to making up the names of at least four $500 prize winners, reportedly choosing friends or favored parishioners when no actual winners were tied to the drawn numbers.

The Erie Times-News reports that Miceli told investigators he moved the $50,000 grand prize from the raffle account into an interest-bearing church account. Authorities are reviewing whether that transfer violated state law.

Miceli, 42, has stepped down from St. Jude and is reportedly being reassigned to two smaller parishes in Clearfield County while the investigation continues. No charges have been filed as of Monday, but the case remains active.

If proven true, the allegations could result in theft, fraud, and records-tampering charges against the pastor.

Go Erie adds (behind paywall):

As it had done for years, St. Jude the Apostle Church in 2024 sold tickets for its well-known and lucrative charity car raffle. The grand prize was a new Chevrolet Corvette.

The sports car, an $82,000 orange convertible Stingray 1LT, sat on display on the edge of St. Jude’s greenspace at the southeast corner of West Sixth Street and Peninsula Drive in Millcreek Township.

The tens of thousands of motorists who drove by the corner, many on their way down Peninsula Drive and headed to the Waldameer amusement park and Presque Isle State Park, could not miss the Corvette as an advertisement for the raffle.

Tickets were $50 each. The grand-prize winner could pick the car or $50,000 in cash.

St. Jude, one of the largest parishes in the 13-county Catholic Diocese of Erie, hoped to sell 9,999 tickets to raise nearly $500,000. The raffle was administered online, giving raffle and Corvette enthusiasts from across the United States the chance to purchase electronic tickets.

The grand-prize drawing was on Christmas Eve.

St. Jude said ticket holders were assigned random numbers via computer. The four-digit number on the winning ticket had to match the winning number in that evening’s Pick 4 Pennsylvania Lottery drawing.

The Pick 4 number was 5851.

The winner of the Corvette, according to the pastor of St. Jude, the Rev. Ross R. Miceli, was Martin Anderson, a resident of Detroit.

Anderson chose the $50,000 in cash, Miceli said in naming him as the winner in a post dated Dec. 24 on the raffle’s Facebook page.

Anderson, however, did not hold the winning ticket in the car raffle.

He never bought a ticket at all.

Miceli is accused of making up the name “Martin Anderson” as the winner of the $50,000. The Erie County District Attorney’s Office is investigating Miceli on allegations that the 42-year-old priest rigged the Corvette raffle, tampered with its records and committed theft.

The allegations and details of the investigation are included in a series of search warrants that detectives with the District Attorney’s Office served on St. Jude’s offices starting March 14.

One of the warrants states that, in an interview with detectives on March 14, Miceli “admitted to publicly falsifying the results of the grand prize winner.”

No one has been charged in the case, and the investigation is continuing, District Attorney Elizabeth Hirz said. She declined to comment further, citing the pending probe. She said the Catholic Diocese of Erie has fully cooperated with detectives and that the diocese promptly reported its concerns about the raffle to her office.

The Catholic Diocese of Erie had not commented publicly on the problems with the raffle until the Erie Times-News contacted Bishop Lawrence T. Persico’s office about the search warrants on Aug. 4.

The diocese said it had to limit its comments because of the ongoing criminal investigation.

…

The diocese, according to the search warrants, told the District Attorney’s Office that it became aware of the situation atfer an employee at St. Jude raised concerns about the raffle to Persico.

Miceli confided in the employee, and “Father Miceli admitted that he fabricated the grand-prize winner’s name,” according to the affidavits of probable cause attached to the search warrants. The affidavits identify Miceli by name, but not the employee.

Miceli, according to the affidavits, told the employee he made up the winner’s name because “there had been a problem with the raffle system, so the winning ‘Pick 4’ number, ‘5851,’ didn’t have anyone assigned to it.”

After the employee reported the admission to Persico, according to the affidavits, “Bishop Persico confronted Father Miceli about this allegation, and Father Miceli admitted to fabricating the grand prize winner’s name but insisted the prize money was still in an account.”

On Feb. 26, detectives interviewed the employee who said he had spoken to Persico. The employee told the detectives Miceli told him he “had made the name up, as the winner, and an internet search revealed there are over 100 ‘Martin Anderson’s’ in the U.S.,” according to the affidavits. Miceli, according to the affidavits, “made mention” that the employee “needed to keep this secret.”

Another affidavit refers to “Martin Anderson” and states “no such individual exists and no money was distributed.”

Among the items to be seized, according to the search warrants, was “Internet research history conducted while planning, executing or relating to the Winavette raffle, Martin Anderson and other winners.”

….

The grand prize was not the only part of the raffle that Miceli manipulated, according to the allegations in the search warrants. The St. Jude raffle also featured the “12 days of Christmas,” in which raffle winners could win $500 a day leading up to Christmas Eve.

Miceli made up some of the winners for the $500 prizes, according to affidavits for some of the warrants.

In an interview with the detectives March 14, according to the affidavits, Miceli “admitted to publicly falsifying the results of the grand prize winner for the raffle. (He) also admitted to four other occasions, during the ’12 days of Christmas’ 2024, where there was no name associated with the winning number, so he personally chose the winners. The winners he chose were either favored parishioners or family friends.

“He also admitted to moving the $50,000 from the car raffle account to another account, because the other account was an interest-bearing account. When asked if the account was in his name or the church’s, he related the account belongs to the church. We learned that Father Ross solely oversees the bank accounts.”

Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Why It Upsets Me When Evangelicals Say “I’m Praying for You”

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prayer

Why do I get upset when Evangelicals (and other Christians) say, “I’m praying for you?”

First, Evangelicals who say this to me deliberately violate the clear teaching of the Bible. Did Jesus not say:

Beware of practicing your righteousness before others in order to be seen by them, for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven.

So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward.  But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:6 NRSV)

These verses seem clear, without ambiguity. Jesus commanded his followers to give and pray in secret. Why, then, do so many Evangelicals think it important for them to tell me that they are praying for me?

Second, I ask Evangelical readers in the comment guidelines to not leave “I’m praying for you” comments. Unlike some readers of this blog, I find no value or purpose in telling people you are praying for them. God is a myth, and so is “answered” prayer. I view prayer in the same light as I do God — a waste of time. It’s fine if Christians think differently, but understand that telling me that you are beseeching the God of the Bible on my behalf does little more than irritate me. Why do something that you KNOW will irritate the hell out of me? Especially since my knowing that someone is praying for me plays no part in whether God answers said prayer.

Third, praying for me is literally the least you can do for me, no different than politicians who offer up “thoughts and prayers” when there is another mass casualty shooting. Countless Christian prayers will be offered up for the dead. Why? They are dead. Instead of prayers, how about actually doing something that will make a meaningful difference?

Thousands of people have allegedly prayed for me. I say allegedly because I know Evangelicals are famous for lying about praying for others, or they briefly pray one time and move on. Instead of doing something that will tangibly improve my life, Evangelicals choose the one thing — prayer — that does nothing for me.

I have been blogging for seventeen years. I can count on two fingers the number of Evangelicals who have done something material for me; something that would make a difference in my life. The two people I have in mind sent me money to help with my needs. Is this not the essence of loving your neighbor as yourself? I am known for being a big tipper when we go out to eat. During the holidays, it is not uncommon for me to leave a tip equal to the bill total. I do this for one reason; to be a blessing and help to others — no strings attached. I should add that these two people — both preachers — have left Christianity. Beware of giving money to Bruce Gerencser. It could cause you to lose your faith. 🙂

One of my biggest beefs with Evangelical churches is that they rarely, of ever, do anything just to be a help to others. Years ago, an Evangelical preacher named Iggy left a comment detailing all the things he and his church did to be a blessing to others. I dared to question the motivations behind these acts of love. Boy, did we have a digital fight. 🙂 I concluded that the goal was not helping others as much as it was advertising the church’s and pastor’s name.

Will this post keep Evangelicals from saying they are praying for me? Silly boy, of course not. Evangelicals gonna do what Evangelicals do.

Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Men Should Wear Neckties to Show Their Opposition to American Culture

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francis slobodnik

By Francis Slobodnik, first published on Return to Order

One article of men’s clothing that is sadly on the decline is the necktie.

This abandonment reflects a refusal to accept any restrictions, discipline or discomfort in clothing or presentation. Many want to feel comfortable at any cost, even if undignified. Comfort and informality are today’s fashion gods. People will go to great expense to wear torn and ragged fashions with designer labels to worship at the altars of these gods.

The necktie is one major casualty of the war on good taste and formality. Some still wear it, but it is sadly disappearing and only visible on rare occasions. A person wearing a necktie stands out in a crowd today.

….

In today’s world, t-shirts, blue jeans, tennis shoes and an occasional blazer have invaded every part of life. The open collar conveys a sense that nothing is really important. The individual’s self-interest and comfort reign supreme.

People fail to realize that how they present themselves externally reflects the interior aspects of their souls. Elevated dress encourages good and elegant behavior. Slovenly dress encourages an attitude that reflects laziness and a lack of self-respect and discipline.

Wearing a tie in a tieless world requires courage and personality. Such a man does not go along with the fads and fashions of the world. He knows how to assert himself.

….

Thus, while the tie may seem restrictive, it promotes a dignified, professional and polished appearance that uplifts the soul. It reflects a desire to please others by appearing and acting like a gentleman. Over time, a man learns to feel comfortable in a tie, just as he learns to accustom himself and sense the delights of self-discipline.

The tie was a small detail in a Christian civilization. Those seeking to do something to oppose the destruction of good customs would do well to get a tie and learn how to tie it. Stand out from the crowd. Be part of that restoration of a Christian order that is sacral, austere, anti-egalitarian and anti-liberal.

Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Sacrilegious Humor: Religion by Daniel Sloss

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daniel sloss

This is the latest installment in the Sacrilegious Humor series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a comedy bit that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please email me the name of the bit or a link to it.

Today’s video is titled Religion by Daniel Sloss.

Video Link

Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Quote of the Day: The Disconnect Between Jesus and Evangelical Christians

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stephen colbert

If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn’t help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we’ve got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition … and then admit that we just don’t want to do it.

— Stephen Colbert, as reported by Snopes

Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Sacrilegious Humor: Alan Cumming on Jesus, Kindness, and Trans People

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alan-cumming-grant-shaffer

This is the latest installment in the Sacrilegious Humor series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a comedy bit that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please email me the name of the bit or a link to it.

Today’s video is of Alan Cumming guest hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Video Link

Transcript:

Jesus Christ.

And talking of Jesus . . .

Even as an atheist, I’m a big fan of Jesus. I really am. What’s not to like? A tall, gorgeous man with great abs and flowing hair getting his feet washed by prostitutes. And encouraging people to love their neighbors while slaying in a loose kaftan. And Jesus was an immigrant, by the way. Let’s not forget . . .

Jesus would have loved trans people. He changed water into wine; is that not itself an act of transition? And you know how I know Jesus would love trans people? Because he loved people. He loved all people. So, of course, he would love trans people and all queer people. I mean, Jesus was followed around at all times by 12 single hot guys, all of them also sporting kaftans. You do the math. Jesus loved the gays, America. Deal with it.

The only thing our current president has in common with Jesus is that they both owe their career to their dads.

Seriously, just think to imagine what it must feel like to be trans person in America today. Our government has legislated that trans people do not exist. It is trying to erase them completely. Imagine having to stockpile your essential lifesaving medicine because your president might cut off access to it for no other reason than it makes him look strong to his base. If the government is going to declare a whole group of people shouldn’t exist, why can’t it be truly a dangerous group of people like those who take off their socks and shoes on airplanes and then go into the bathroom? Why can’t it be people who use leaf blowers at unearthly hours in the morning? Why can’t it be unkind people? Which brings us back to Jesus. Yes, of course. Jesus just wants all of us to be kind. So, for once, America, I beg you, let’s all really try to give kindness a go. Like my little mom says, “It doesn’t cost anything to be kind.” And I guarantee you any situation you find yourself in will go better with a little kindness.

Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

God Has a Message for President Donald Trump and Congress

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evangelicals and donald trump

Woe to those [politicians] who make iniquitous decrees, who write oppressive statutes, to turn aside the needy from justice and to rob the poor of my people of their right, to make widows their spoil and to plunder orphans! What will [politicians] you do on the day of punishment, in the calamity that will come from far away? To whom will [politicians] you flee for help, and where will you leave your wealth…

— Isaiah 10:1-3 NRSV

Does this not describe Donald Trump, the Republican Party, and some Democrats?

Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.