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Series: Songs of Sacrilege

Songs of Sacrilege: Jesus Was a Wino by Lydia Loveless

Bruce Gerencser 2 Comments
lydia loveless

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Jesus Was a Wino by Lydia Loveless.

Video Link

Lyrics

Well, some days you wake up,
Life feels meaningless.
You don’t even have
the strength to get up and get dressed.
Then when you do,
you see your clothes are all torn to shreds.
And you can’t even afford to buy a needle and thread.
So you might go to church
to bow your head and pray
But that ain’t always enough to get it through the day
Sometimes you’ll feel bitter
You figure this priest is a mooch
And you might just take all of your tithes
to a bottle of hooch.
And if people knew, they would look down on you
Don’t they know that it’s true:
Jesus was a wino, too.

Plus, people may ask, “Why have your lips turned black?”
“Hey, what the hell is so funny, man?
Why have your eyes gone slack?”
They’re gonna feel high and mightier to you
And I can barely stand
I’ll just tell them I couldn’t turn down one more glass of the blood of the lamb

Because if people knew, they would call me a fool
I wish they knew it was true
Jesus was a wino, too

And this here six-dollar bottle is just about all that I can afford
And if I can’t find a corkscrew
I’ll just smash it open right here on the floor
And you might call me crazy
For lapping this off the ground
But a few years ago I would be drinkin’ with Jesus right now
‘Cause they may not have had Carlo Rossi way back in His day
Jesus had only water but he turned it to wine anyway

And nobody asked, “What would Jesus do?”
‘Cause everybody knew
Jesus was a wino too

No, nobody asked, “What would Jesus do?”
‘Cause everybody knew
Jesus was a wino too

Oooh, uh huh
Uh huh.

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Songs of Sacrilege: I Hope I’m Stoned When Jesus Takes Me Home by Charlie Worsham

Bruce Gerencser 2 Comments
charlie worsham

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is I Hope I’m Stoned When Jesus Takes Me Home by Charlie Worsham.

Video Link

Lyrics

I hope I’m stoned when Jesus takes me home
Flying high through those clouds
Knowing I don’t have to ever come down
I’m rolling up a J
Just in case today’s the day
I hope I’m stoned when Jesus takes me home

I believe he put it down here for all of us to use
A little piece of heaven to take away your blues
I know I’m far from perfect and I’ll call a sin a sin
But I feel closer to the Lord every time I breathe it in

Hope I’m stoned when Jesus takes me home
Flying high up through them clouds
Knowing I don’t have to ever come down
I’m rolling up a J
Just in case today’s the day
I hope I’m stoned when Jesus takes me home

I can’t wait to talk to Moses ’bout the Red Sea and the plagues
Bend Jonah’s ear to hear about livin’ in a whale three whole days
Get ol’ St. Pete to show me the pearly gates and the golden streets
Well, you can bet I’ll be good and ready to sit down at the feast

I hope I’m stoned when Jesus takes me home
Flying high up through them clouds
Knowing I don’t have to ever come down
I’m rolling up a J
Just in case today’s the day
I hope I’m stoned when Jesus takes me home

I bet Bob Marley’s mansion has a garden in the back
And he’s growin’ somethin’ special, some celestial homemade hash
We’ll sit down on his porch, we’ll listen to the angel band
‘Til then, I’ll sing “I’ll Fly Away” with a fat one in my hand

I hope I’m stoned when Jesus takes me home
Flying high through those clouds
Knowing I don’t have to ever come down
I’m rolling up a J
Just in case today’s the day
I hope I’m stoned when Jesus takes me home

Yeah, let’s roll ourselves a J
Just in case today’s the day
I hope I’m stoned when Jesus takes me home

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Songs of Sacrilege: Atheists Don’t Have No Songs by Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers

Bruce Gerencser 3 Comments
steve martin and steep canyon rangers

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Atheists Don’t Have No Songs by Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers.

Video Link

Lyrics

You know, religious people have such beautiful music and art
And atheists really have nothing…

Until now!

A little tune called “Atheists Don’t Have No Songs”

Christians have their hymns and pages.
(Hymns and pages)
Hava Nagila’s for the Jews.
(For the Jews)
Baptists have the rock of ages.
(Rock of ages)
Atheists just sing the blues.

Romantics play Claire de Lune.
(Claire de Lune)
Born agains sing He is risen.
But no one ever wrote a tune.
(Wrote a tune)
For godless existentialism.
(For godless existentialism)

For Atheists,
There’s no good news.
They’ll never sing,
A song of faith.

In their songs,
They have a rule.
The “he” is always lowercase.
The “he” is always lowercase.

Some folks sing a Bach cantata.
(Bach cantata)
Lutherans get Christmas trees.
Atheist songs add up to nada.
(Up to nada)
But they do have Sundays free.
(Have Sundays free)

Pentecostals sing, sing to heaven,
(Sing to heaven)
Gothics had the books of scrolls,
(Numerologists count)
Numerologists count, count to seven,
(Count to seven)
Atheists have rock and roll.

For atheists,
There’s no good news.
They’ll never sing,
A song of faith.

In their songs,
They have a rule.
The “he” is always lowercase.
The “he” is always lowercase.

Atheists
Atheists
Atheists
Don’t have no songs!

Christians have their hymns and pages.
(Hymns and pages)
Hava Nagila’s for the Jews.
(For the Jews)
Baptists have the rock of ages.
(Rock of ages)
Atheists just sing the blues.

Catholics,
Dress up for mass.
And listen to,
Gregorian chants.

Atheists,
Just take a pass.
Watch football in their underpants.
Watch football in their underpants.

Atheists
Atheists
Atheists
Don’t have no songs!
(Don’t have no songs)

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Songs of Sacrilege: Dechristianize by Vital Remains

Bruce Gerencser 1 Comment
vital remains

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Dechristianize by Vital Remains.

Video Link

Lyrics

[Intro]
Trembling to its fall
Putting and end to it all
By storm, by force
With might, without remorse
We are here to conquer this world

[Verse 1]
Like cancer, our hate consumes the light of elysium
Unstoppable force of demonic supremacy
All destroying, all devouring
Heaven now ravaged; scarred and empty
Strike the death knell of the pandemonium
Imbrue one’s hands in the blood of christ
Washing away all filth of righteousness
The dimming of the light
Engulfing the trinity

He raped the culture of mankind
He raped the pride of the ancient ways
He raped all thought of freewill
I who will watch you fall into obscurity

Washing away all filth of righteousness
The dimming of the light
Engulfing the fucking trinity

I spit upon your deity
Supposed creator of all things
Idol of irreverence you worship above
Show your true face, the image of prevarication

Unhallowed be our twilight
Thy grace untriumphant
Mourn the crowning of unconquerable profanation

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Songs of Sacrilege: He Flies by Whitney Avalon

Bruce Gerencser 0 Comments
whitney avalon

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is He Flies by Whitney Avalon.

Video Link

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Songs of Sacrilege: Need a Favor by Jelly Roll

Bruce Gerencser 3 Comments
jelly roll

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Need a Favor by Jelly Roll.

Video Link

Lyrics

only talk to God, when I need a favor
And I only pray, when I ain’t got a prayer
So, who the hell am I?
Who the hell am I, to expect a savior?
Oh-oh-ohh
If I only talk to God, when I need a favor?
But God, I need a favor

I know Amazing Grace
But, I ain’t been livin’ them words
Swear, I spend more Sundays
Drunk off my ass, than I have in church
Hardcover King James
Only been savin’ dust, on the nightstand
And I don’t know what to say
By the time I fold my hands

I only talk to God, when I need a favor
And I only pray, when I ain’t got a prayer
So, who the hell am I?
Who the hell am I, to expect a savior?
Oh-oh-ohh
If I only talk to God, when I need a favor?
But God, I need a favor
Amen, amen

Yeah, I owe you more than one
And, beggars can’t be choosers
But, I’ll pay for all I’ve done
Just, please, don’t let me lose her

I only talk to God, when I need a favor
And I only pray, when I ain’t got a prayer
So, who the hell am I?
Who the hell am I, to expect a savior?
Oh-oh-ohh
If I only talk to God, when I need a favor?
But God, I need a favor
Amen, amen
Amen, amen

Hangin’ in there, just barely
Throwin’ up prayers, like Hail Mary’s
If You’re still there, Lord spare me
Oh my God, oh my God, Hail Mary

Hangin’ in there, just barely
Throwin’ up prayers, like Hail Mary’s
If You’re still there, Lord spare me
Oh my God, oh my God, Hail Mary

I only talk to God, when I need a favor
And I only pray, when I ain’t got a prayer
So, tell me, who the hell am I to expect a savior?
When I only talk to God, if I need a favor?
God, I need a favor
Amen
God, I need a favor, whoa
Amen

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Songs of Sacrilege: Desert by Brand New

Bruce Gerencser 0 Comments
brand new

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Desert by Brand New.

Video Link

Lyrics

Last night I heard a voice that said, “This is the end”
All my nerves have been worn to the threads
I only honestly have one or two left
I got my faith, I got my family
I got a wire fence around my whole stake
If I believe only half what I read
I got a reason to be dug in deep

It’s revelation saying
Don’t come running to me
When they’re coming for you

I seen those boys kissing boys
Open-mouth in the street
But I raised my son to be a righteous man
I made it clear to him what fear of God means

I’d hold him down on the Tompkins Lake
Before I ever let him go to the wolves
The path we walk is only narrow and straight
No son of mine will wander astray
Abomination

Don’t come running to me when they’re coming for you
(Don’t come running to me when they’re coming for you)
Don’t come running to me when they’re coming for you
(Don’t come running to me when they’re coming for you)

Last night I heard a voice that said, “Don’t give up your gun”
They keep washing right up on those shores
Man, they’re gathering their numbers up
Those bleeding hearts come marching down my road
Well, I’ll be waiting right here at my door
It’s a lie to say it wouldn’t be fun
If you’re joining them, then I got one
With your name on it

Don’t come running to me when they’re coming for you
(Don’t come running to me when they’re coming for you)
Don’t come running to me when they’re coming for you
(Don’t come running to me when they’re coming for you)

Don’t come running to me when they come gunning for you
(Don’t come running to me when they come gunning for you)
Don’t come running to me when they’re coming for you
(Don’t come running to me when they’re coming for you)

God is love

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Songs of Sacrilege: White Wine in the Sun by Tim Minchin

Bruce Gerencser 4 Comments
tim minchin

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is by White Wine in the Sun by Tim Minchin.

Video Link

Lyrics

I really like Christmas
It’s sentimental, I know
But I just really like it

I am hardly religious
I’d rather break bread with Dawkins
Than Desmond Tutu, to be honest

And yes, I have all of the usual objections
To consumerism
To the commercialization of an ancient religion
To the westernization of a dead Palestinian
Press-ganged into selling PlayStations and beer
But I still really like it

I’m looking forward to Christmas
Though I’m not expecting
A visit from Jesus

I’ll be seeing my dad
My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum
They’ll be drinking white wine in the sun
I’ll be seeing my dad
My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum
They’ll be drinking white wine in the sun

I don’t go in for ancient wisdom
I don’t believe just ’cause ideas are tenacious
It means they’re worthy

I get freaked out by churches
Some of the hymns that they sing have nice chords
But the lyrics are dodgy

And yes, I have all of the usual objections
To the miseducation
Of children who, in tax-exempt institutions
Are taught to externalize blame
And to feel ashamed
And to judge things as plain right and wrong
But I quite like the songs

I’m not expecting big presents
The old combination of socks, jocks and chocolates
Is just fine by me

Cause I’ll be seeing my dad
My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum
They’ll be drinking white wine in the sun
I’ll be seeing my dad
My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum
They’ll be drinking white wine in the sun

And you, my baby girl
My jetlagged infant daughter
You’ll be handed round the room
Like a puppy at a primary school
And you won’t understand
But you will learn someday
That wherever you are and whatever you face
These are the people who’ll make you feel safe
In this world
My sweet blue-eyed girl

And if my baby girl
When you’re twenty-one or thirty-one
And Christmas comes around
And you find yourself nine thousand miles from home
You’ll know what ever comes

Your brothers and sisters and me and your mum
Will be waiting for you in the sun
Whenever you come
Your brothers and sisters, your aunts and your uncles
Your grandparents, cousins and me and your mum
We’ll be waiting for you in the sun
Drinking white wine in the sun
Darling, when Christmas comes
We’ll be waiting for you in the sun
Drinking white wine in the sun
Waiting for you in the sun
Waiting for you
Waiting

I really like Christmas
It’s sentimental, I know

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Songs of Sacrilege: If He Showed Up Now by Scott Cook

Bruce Gerencser 3 Comments
scott cook

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is If He Showed Up Now by Scott Cook.

Video Link

Lyrics

If he showed up now, you wouldn’t know what to do
He’d be flat broke as usual, filthy too
And the worst thing about it when he comes to town
Is the kind of people that he brings around
But all of your life you have called him your friend
And promised you’d stick by him right to the end
So you’d say, do us the honour, have something to eat
And he’d say, where were you when I was living on the street?

If he showed up now there’d be trouble, I bet
He’d be talking revolution, or did you forget
When you told him you’d follow him, he said, if you
Were anything like me, they’d kill you too.
You’d say, I’ve been calling you, haven’t you heard?
I live by your name and I’d die for your word
And I’d fight to defend it in every detail
And he’d say, where were you when I was in jail?

If he showed up now, would you recognize him?
If he came as a pauper when you expected a king
Or as an illegal, scrounging for bills
Or a defenceless child in the Syrian hills
You’d say I’ve been fighting your cause all along
I studied your pages and sang out your songs
And it was in your name that I closed every prayer
And he’d say, where were you when I was sick and couldn’t get care?
You’d say, if I’d known it was you I’d have come
I fought for your honour and all that I’ve done
It was under your banner in the name of the Son
And he’d say, where were you for the weakest ones?
Where were you for the weakest ones?

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

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Songs of Sacrilege: The Wages of Sin by The Rainmakers

Bruce Gerencser 0 Comments
the rainmakers

This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is The Wages of Sin by The Rainmakers.

Video Link

Lyrics

I was praying last night when an angel broke the line
She said “I’m gonna have to put you on hold for a time”
I said “Hold like Hell, let me talk to the Boss”
She said “Sorry sucker (sinner), it’s the Boss’s day off”
And I realized then that the wages of sin
Was two bucks an hour and working weekends

I was ignoring the thief who was lashed to the cross
He cried “Help me get this son-of-a-bitch off”
I said “I would if I could, I can’t so I won’t
Well I wouldn’t want you messing your hair up, so don’t”
And I realized then that the wages of sin
Was all the lumber you can carry, all the nails you can bend

The wages of sin, the reward of fear
Is worrying and fretting every second of the year
If Heaven is guilt, no sex and no show
Then I’m not sure if I really want to go, Oh

The wages of sin, the price that you pay
Is worrying and fretting every second of the day
The Church and the State, your God and Country kind
One gets your body, the other gets your mind

Mary, Mary Magdalene, how ’bout a date?
You’ve been wasting your time staying up so late
Your boyfriend’s dead, the word is you’re a whore
Just about then I heard a knock on the door
And I realized then that the wages of sin
Was a bad reputation and too many friends

The wages of sin (repeats)

Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

Connect with me on social media:

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.

You can email Bruce via the Contact Form.

Bruce Gerencser