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Tag: Queen

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Queen and Freddy Mercury are Servants of Satan

joe schimmel

Warning! A boat load of Bruce Almighty snark ahead. Evangelicals easily offended would be wise to move on from this post immediately. You’ve been warned. No whining later if you decide to read on.

This is the one hundred and ninetieth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip of Joe Schimmel, pastor of Blessed Hope Chapel in Simi Valley, California, detailing how QueenFreddie Mercury, and Adam Lambert are all servants of Satan.

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Now let’s listen to one of my favorite praise and worship songs, Bohemian Rhapsody

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Trailers for the new movie Bohemian Rhapsody

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And, finally, since I really, really, really want to give the mythical Devil/Satan/Beelzebub his due — all hail the Evil One, right? — let me conclude this post with a video of Queen’s 1985 Wembley Stadium Live AID concert. Awesome, oh so awesome, even to this day!

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Have you seen the movie Bohemian Rhapsody? Please share what you thought in the comment section. Are you a Servant of Satan, uh, I mean a Queen fan, what’s your favorite Queen song? Have you ever seen them in concert? Freddie Mercury era? Adam Lambert era? Come on, you heathens, let’s give it up for Queen and Freddie Mercury!

Think of all the rock bands that will be in Hell. Man, the Devil really does have all the good music — Gandhi, Mother Teresa, and Christopher Hitchens too. Imagine an eternity of weekend singalongs with all your favorite bands, and compare that to what will be going on in Heaven — endless prostration before a deity who demands you praise him in masturbatory fashion over, and over, and over again. No thanks!

Schimmel is just the latest Fundamentalist preacher using the “evils” of rock music in an attempt to scare people into Heaven — a mythical place that only exists in the minds of Evangelicals. Preachers have been using this shtick since I came of age in the 1960s and 1970s. It didn’t work then, and it sure as hell doesn’t work now. What’s next? Backmasking? Record/CD/mp3 burning parties?  How did the whole Christian band replacement thing work out? You know, if you like *blank* secular band, you will like *blank* Christian band. Breaking Bob Larson out of the nursing home so he can reprise his “Evils of Satanic Rock Music” tour? Young people just listen to CCM AND secular music now, and based on my unofficial local observations, Christian young adults handily prefer secular rock/hip hop/pop over Christian music. The truth is, a lot of Christian music s-u-c-k-s — little more than rip-offs of secular artists. Decades ago, Christian rocker, Larry Norman asked, why should the Devil have all the good music? Have you noticed, no one is asking this question anymore? Why? Because, they have learned that the Devil really does have all the good, great, awesome, phenomenal music.

If This is What Church Has Become, I Am Ready to Return

jesus-rocking-out

Recently, Cedar Creek Church in Toledo, Ohio used a worship team cover of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody to inspire and thrill congregants. As I watched the following video, I thought, man if churches start playing 1960s-1980s rock music, with a bit of Staind, Theory of a Deadman, Seether, and Puddle of Mudd thrown in, why I might be persuaded to return to church. As the video shows, the Cedar Creek band is top notch, as are some of the singers. The guy singing the lead? He’s no Freddy Mercury.

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What this video really shows is how far some Evangelical churches will go to attract, maintain, and entertain its members. While I am sure congregants were wowed by the worship team’s rendition of one of the greatest rock songs ever, I wonder if any of them asked themselves, what in the hell does this song have to do with worshiping God?

Here’s the original rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody:

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Comparing the two, it is easy to conclude that the Cedar Creek version is a cheap imitation of the original — as are most attempts to mimic the “world’s” music.  I wonder if Cedar Creek thought about the “nothing really matters” focus of this song? Perhaps that best explains entertainment-driven, cutesy, hip, nondescript shopping mall-like Evangelical churches — nothing really matters.

Now, I am not r-e-a-l-l-y planning to return to church. I had to say this lest anyone thinks I am sympathetic to returning to church. I don’t want word getting out that I am considering a return to the dark side.

What do think? Are you ready to join me next Sunday for church?