Warning! A boat load of Bruce Almighty snark ahead. Evangelicals easily offended would be wise to move on from this post immediately. You’ve been warned. No whining later if you decide to read on.
This is the one hundred and ninetieth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!
Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip of Joe Schimmel, pastor of Blessed Hope Chapel in Simi Valley, California, detailing how Queen, Freddie Mercury, and Adam Lambert are all servants of Satan.
Now let’s listen to one of my favorite praise and worship songs, Bohemian Rhapsody
Trailers for the new movie Bohemian Rhapsody
And, finally, since I really, really, really want to give the mythical Devil/Satan/Beelzebub his due — all hail the Evil One, right? — let me conclude this post with a video of Queen’s 1985 Wembley Stadium Live AID concert. Awesome, oh so awesome, even to this day!
Have you seen the movie Bohemian Rhapsody? Please share what you thought in the comment section. Are you a Servant of Satan, uh, I mean a Queen fan, what’s your favorite Queen song? Have you ever seen them in concert? Freddie Mercury era? Adam Lambert era? Come on, you heathens, let’s give it up for Queen and Freddie Mercury!
Think of all the rock bands that will be in Hell. Man, the Devil really does have all the good music — Gandhi, Mother Teresa, and Christopher Hitchens too. Imagine an eternity of weekend singalongs with all your favorite bands, and compare that to what will be going on in Heaven — endless prostration before a deity who demands you praise him in masturbatory fashion over, and over, and over again. No thanks!
Schimmel is just the latest Fundamentalist preacher using the “evils” of rock music in an attempt to scare people into Heaven — a mythical place that only exists in the minds of Evangelicals. Preachers have been using this shtick since I came of age in the 1960s and 1970s. It didn’t work then, and it sure as hell doesn’t work now. What’s next? Backmasking? Record/CD/mp3 burning parties? How did the whole Christian band replacement thing work out? You know, if you like blank secular band, you will like blank Christian band. Breaking Bob Larson out of the nursing home so he can reprise his “Evils of Satanic Rock Music” tour? Young people just listen to CCM AND secular music now, and based on my unofficial local observations, Christian young adults handily prefer secular rock/hip hop/pop over Christian music. The truth is, a lot of Christian music s-u-c-k-s — little more than rip-offs of secular artists. Decades ago, Christian rocker, Larry Norman asked, why should the Devil have all the good music? Have you noticed, no one is asking this question anymore? Why? Because, they have learned that the Devil really does have all the good, great, awesome, phenomenal music.