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The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Apache Helicopters Are Mentioned in the Bible

jim and lori bakker

This is the one hundred and ninety-second installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a  video clip of Jim Bakker saying that Apache helicopters are mentioned in the Bible.  Where, your ask? Revelation 9:3-9:

And there came out of the smoke locusts upon the earth: and unto them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power.  And it was commanded them that they should not hurt the grass of the earth, neither any green thing, neither any tree; but only those men which have not the seal of God in their foreheads. And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man. And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them. And the shapes of the locusts were like unto horses prepared unto battle; and on their heads were as it were crowns like gold, and their faces were as the faces of men. And they had hair as the hair of women, and their teeth were as the teeth of lions. And they had breastplates, as it were breastplates of iron; and the sound of their wings was as the sound of chariots of many horses running to battle.

Did you see it? Come on, it’s right there in plain sight! Either that, or Jim Bakker is a bat-shit crazy fearmonger.

Video Link

Series Navigation<< The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Con Artist Jim Bakker Getting Rich Off of Food BucketsThe Sounds of Fundamentalism: Mark Biltz Says the Antichrist Might be a Human Cyborg >>


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    I watched a big part of one of his recent TV shows. The man was essentially incoherent and BS crazy. I do not know what he is smoking—but it must be powerful stuff—and it ain’t Jesus. Perhaps something from Colombia, S.A.

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    When I was a teen in the 1980s, eschatology was a big topic at our Southern Baptist church. We were taught that John saw modern warfare and armaments and described them as things people of his time understood. So I am not surprised Bakker would be saying this stuff 30 years later.

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    It is so so eerie to see Jim beside Tammy-Faye clone wifey #2 and to listen to her softly intone, “Oh yes… oh yes,” … I feel almost ready to send them a love-gift and get me chompin’ on some 25L buckets of gross.

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    John Arthur

    He’s completely crazy! How could ancient savages who wrote the bible and created god in their own likeness know anything about helicopters? They didn’t even know about evolution, or an approximately spherical earth but were violent savages who approved of genocide of the Canaanite conquest and later of the Amalekites. These butchers know no end to their violence and savagery and the crackpot who wrote the book of Revelation thrives in bloodshed. Many Fundamentalists are just as crazy as these superstitious crackpots.

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      John Arthur, you are clearly the devil’s host! When God wrote the Bible word for word, it was without error and he included clues about the Apache that his servant, Jim Bakker discerned through constantly reading Revelations over and over and over and over. If you did that, you too might be blessed by God to see Apache helicopters, sir! I certainly have been seeing them everywhere since Jim opened my sorry eyes. I had a dream last night and the roll was called up yonder! I arrived, yes, in an Apache and hovered by the gates. Jesus was lounging by a pool just inside and he tipped his fedora at me! This really happened, you hateful unbeliever! Boy oh boy, are you ever going to get yours one day! To suggest that helicopters are NOT in the Bible??? Are you insane?

      (Jim is bloated on Kool-Aid and his 25L buckets of fake food for the apocalypse. He is as loose as can be and will soon, I think, be needing some heavy meds and 24 hour guard-nurses.

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